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Boutonnières: or making a marriage legally binding.


by Meg Keene, Editor-In-Chief

Boutonnières: or making a marriage legally binding. | A Practical WeddingI asked David this weekend what kind of Boutonnière he wanted. Perhaps something creative with twigs, or herbs, or dahlias? And he told me that actually, he didn’t really want a boutonnière at all. It would make him feel like he was going to prom. So I started to tell him that of course he had to have one, that you couldn’t even get married without one, obviously. And then I realized, damn it, the wedding industry pulled one over on me again. If he doesn’t want one (and the various fathers don’t mind) then why should I make him wear one? After all, since we are doing all the flowers ourselves it will save us work! What do you think, internets? Would the marriage even be valid without flowers on his lapel?

Photo of Rosemary and lavender boutonnière via The Knot.

Meg Keene

Meg is the Founder and EIC of APW. Her first book, A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration, was published in January 2012, and has been a top three bestseller on the wedding bookshelf ever since. Meg has her BFA in Drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and son. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06290864014993900467 Nikki

    You’re just joking! You know noone has to have flowers if they don’t want flowers, right?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16358209654239607887 Kate

    If you choose not to have boutonnieres, you will undermine the institution of marriage. Are you willing to do that?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09731426268019406064 Ten Thousand Only

    give the bout the boot!

    btw, i would love to know what your brunch menu is shaping up to be like…

  • Peonies and Polaroids

    I think,, I might be wrong, that the marriage is still legal if the groom doesn’t have a flower pinned to him!

    Much like you can still get married if you wear an engagement ring on the wrong finger, which I have had to explain to quite a few people!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04215257716156502444 Beck_swims

    Boutonnieres are really unnecessary, and in fact, often clutter the ensamble considering the wrist and leg shackles.

    Um…Kory is helping me with this. My two cents is that bouts were origionally a man wearing his lady’s colors. If he doesn’t where your favorite flower, how will you know who to marry?

    KORY:
    Note, My opinion is actually three cents, which makes it worth more than everyone else’s.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09390345016864022964 Shannon

    I work at a nursery/florist and was talking to the designer – they explained that the tradition is that the groom wears a part of the bride’s bouquet – therefore, just pluck one of the flowers/greens from your bouquet and pin it to him for a simple and TRUE-to-tradition boutonniere!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09526722516550185150 Meg

    Very cool Shannon… we might just do that. See, I love the savvy, actually traditional things to do that don’t even cost extra money.

  • Amy

    You know I am late with this, but truly that was one of the fist requests my boy made… well that and Rocky Top to play as I walked down the aisle. I so okay to the first and no to the Rocky Top!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18322614204354706684 Amelia

    Well, of course it won’t be a REAL WEDDING without at least $5K in flowers! Smirk and grin.

    Jason (the betrothed) isn’t a big fan of boutonnieres, either. I say more flowers for me!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06912665327917655751 jehara

    i have chosen to forgo boutonnieres and corsages and flowers in general.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18361291538358633691 Olivia

    Well since you're posting vintage APW, I'm going one step further and seeking it out :)

    How apropos, since I just had the "but so-and-so NEEDS flowers" conversation with my mother yesterday. Luckily, she has been the best Mother of the Bride (and mother in general!) that I could ever dream of, and is on board with our take on flowers.

  • http://www.kmsproductions.net Karina

    Yes, no boutonnieres! My fiance already said he definitely doesn’t want to wear flowers and I don’t believe any of the groomsmen want to either! I say, why bother trying to make them? They don’t want to and I have plenty other places in my budget I could increase if I forgo the flowers!

  • http://made-of-sun.tumblr.com/ Trisha

    My now husband said he didn’t want one. I said ok. Then he said he wasn’t wearing a tux. I said “Of course not.” Then he said he didn’t want to wear a suit jacket. I said ok. He then proceeded to declare that he wasn’t wearing a tie either. He hates ties. I told him that it was his wedding too and if he hated wearing ties he shouldn’t have to. Then he told me he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You see, no bout is a slippery, slippery slope. In case you’re wondering, yes, we did get him clothed in a manner befitting the day, that he was happy with. With nary a flower on him.

  • http://grant-and-kahiwa.blogspot.com Kiwa

    Love this.
    Just realised I haven’t asked my beloved if he wanted boutonnieres/button-hole flowers in the first place. He says he doesn’t mind, so I suggested handkerchief/pocket squares so I don’t have to f**k around with little bitty flowers for the copious amounts of males in our wedding. Crafty poisonous WIC snake bit me, but once again you have the antidote.

  • Michelle

    We’re not having any flowers at our wedding. I’m making brooch bouquets, and the “corsages” for the moms and grandmother are ribbon with an antique brooch.

    I’m only stuck on what to do for my dad.