I think the first and most important thing you should do for a budget wedding is, well, put it on paper. I know that sometimes people are a little scared of budgets, and would rather not look at the money too closely, with the hope that you can just MAKE the money stretch far enough. My event planning experience tells me that doing that is just going to put you way over budget. This is something I want to continue talking about in more depth, but here are some tips stemming from years of working on events that never had enough money:
- Events almost always go over budget, usually by 10%-20%. If you can, plan for this. Depending on your personality either budget 10% below the amount of money you have, or make sure each line item contains 10% wiggle room.
- Wedding budgets provided to you by the wedding industry are way more complicated then you need or can afford for a simple wedding. The budget on The Knot has 38 categories! When you see things on your budget like hair & makeup, seven different flower categories, favors, limos, and pre-wedding pampering, its hard not to start thinking that you need to have all these things. You don't! Simplify, simplify, simplify. Figure out what you care about the most, and then start brutally cutting items off the list. If you have extra money you can always put things back on the list later. And no, you don't necessarily have to cut guests. For us, at least, we'd rather have more people eating chicken (or heck, cookies and punch), then less people eating steak.
- Don't be afraid to say "We can't afford that." The wedding world, in a genius of marketing, has made it really shameful to say that you can't afford something for your 'big day'. The message is: "Don't you want the best day of your lives? Don't you really love each other? Then you need the best!" I'm here to tell you that you absolutely do not need the best. You need good enough. What you DO need is joy and love aplenty. The rest is just icing. So don't be afraid to look people in the eye and say "We can't afford that. What are our options?" Which brings me to my next point:
- Don't be afraid to negotiate with your vendors. Negotiate kindly and respectfully. Remember that you are asking people to bring their prodigious skills and talents to help celebrate a joyful day in your life. But that said, all packages are guidelines, and there is often room to cut corners. I've had these conversations with managers of huge hotel ballrooms, with tiny wine stores, and with photographers. Listen to what your vendors need. Maybe they can charge less if you only have chicken, or if you have your wedding at an off-time, or if you make it an hour shorter, or if you let them use your photographs for promotional use. See if they can meet you halfway. In the end, you probably don't want want to work with a vendor who doesn't have flexibility anyway.
- Keep up your end of the bargain. If you've negotiated a vendors prices down, make sure you earn that discount back karmically. If you were a vendor, would you want to work with a disorganized, needy, demanding client? Would you want to work with said client for less than your normal fee? Um. Right. Keep that in mind.
- Talk to your friends and family. Figure out what their skills and talents are. You don't want to force people to do things for your wedding, but they may have skills that they want to contribute. We are finding that our friends have skills that we never even knew about, and we are thrilled that they are offering to help out. It makes our wedding more of a community celebration.
What other tips to you have?
(Dirty little secret: I work a lot, so I write a lot of posts on the weekends. After I wrote this I read this excellent post at Elizabeth Anne Designs on a very similar theme. I must be on to something!)
yes!
i love seeing posts like this. thank you.
i am always feeling guilty for not being able to blow our budget… and then i remember that we aren’t crazy, and i feel proud of us for being budget-minded.
we have a google doc spreadsheet, shared between us and our parents, laying out the budget for each line item, who is responsible for that item, and when/if it has been payed. this lets everyone see where we are, that we are on budget, and that everyone is pulling their weight!
i often feel as though i am surrounded by people planning weddings on no budget– it’s nice to be reminded that there are others out there in the same limited budget boat!
April 29, 2008 7:11 pm
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So I’m pretty good at flowers, if you’re gathering skills (check my blog for the passover table–that’s all me).
April 30, 2008 6:11 am
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I just discovered your blog today, and I have to say THANK YOU for this post. My boyfriend and I are planning to get engaged soon and just the thought of it has had me worrying our budget. It is so helpful to have someone giving a grounded, realistic perspective on the wedding budget.
May 2, 2008 9:05 am
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You are officially my new favorite blogger. I think I love this place so much because it makes me feel like maybe I’m living a double life and I’m actually the person who wrote it, even though I have no recollection of it, only because it sounds so much like something I WOULD write.
I do have a point to make though: I actually love the knot.com budget and all of it’s ridiculous and unnecessary categories, because looking at it makes me feel like I am the most awesome, budget-rockingest machine because I have more categories that require nothing more than a big fat ZERO, which reminds me that I am NOT a sucker and will not be spending money on crap I don’t need.
July 28, 2008 2:52 pm
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Oh, agreed. I make extra categories in my budgets, just because I like writing zeros. But then, I write things I’ve already done on my to-do lists, so I can cross them off.
And thank you :)
July 28, 2008 5:36 pm
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THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I’m so sick of all these wedding blogs showing beautiful weddings that cost 30K or more and are all done with wedding planners.
Thank you for posting what I’ve been saying through this horrible process of planning a wedding. I mean don’t get me wrong…I love how I’m marrying but weddings are out of hand. I hope I can use your advice, hold fast and have a great time. (Oh maybe you could post about how everyone is telling me I won’t have time to eat, dance, drink or be merry…I ask you then, what is the damn point?)
Love this blog and again THANK YOU
January 14, 2009 12:58 pm
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thank you for this post…
My BM and I will be hiring faux floral bouquets.. for $12 a pop.
When I share this with people they look at me with disgust… however I GUARANTEE you that on the day they won’t be able to even tell..
Perhaps I should keep quiet about it.
sssh, it can be out secret
April 22, 2009 4:30 pm
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Oh, I hate theknot’s budgeter! Here’s why… I input my budget: $5,000. It “gives advice” on how much I should sped on everything, since I actively removed everything I don’t need or want. The grand total knotty budget: $6,375. Here’s a website that’s supposed to have tools to help me, but all it’s really helping me to do is spend an extra thirteen-HUNDRED dollars? Srsly!
Thanks for the awesome advice. I didn’t even think about promotional use for my wedding photos! Thanks gotta be worth a small discount, right?
April 21, 2011 12:05 pm
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