Now that I'm planning my own wedding, I really want a wedding that reflects who we are and how we live. We spend our weekend mountain biking in the dirt, drinking beer. Why on earth would we have a fancy wedding in an elegant location with all the "perfect" details? It wouldn't be "us." I don't get stressed out or angry at all the Wedding stuff–I just laugh and think how silly it is. I went into huge debt for my education and that's all the debt I want, thank you very much!

Second, I use a vague term like “The Wedding Industry” on purpose. It’s a good catch all that most brides and grooms understand, and it avoids me saying something negative publicly about something specific. I try not to point to one type of vendor or another and say “Hey – this person, or organization is ripping you off.” I don’t think it’s fair. That said, there is a lot of crazy manipulation going on of brides emotions and wallets, and I want to address that here. I am 100% aware that many wedding vendors are kick *ss small artists, and not only do I support vendors like that, I encourage other couples to support them. That said, some small vendors manipulate, and *lots* of brides manipulate. I try to call out the BS, because the more times we here “It’s not a perfect day” the more we are disinclined to act like nitwits.

I’ll call out The Knot by name, but that is about it. And for the record, while I dislike some of the ad’s, I love Martha Stewart Weddings.

Hope that helps.

Meg

And while I recognize that there are those who just want to make a buck on brides, know that “wedding industry” is a vague term under which falls everything from MS Weddings magazine to “mom and pop” wedding vendors. There are many quality wedding professionals with integrity who work within the “industry”. I can tell you that many of them love being a part of such an important day and want to provide quality services while making a living. We’re not all bad.

I think it’s time for couples to take a reality check. As a wedding planner, couples come to me to and hire me to deliver their “vision”. and they expect me to deliver perfection. Perfection takes a serious amount of work and time and they are charged accordingly.

I frequently have couples contact me who are unwilling to budge on any of their “dreams” yet don’t have the budget to pay for it. I’m not coaxing them into anything. I spend much of my time trying to convince them to live within their means. I often offer less expensive alternatives.

It’s up to you to accept what you can do within your means. And… you’re right, you can do it yourself and create a gorgeous, magazine-worthy wedding but it does take a lot of hard work and creativity. If you’re willing to do it, the more power to you!

instead of getting a reaction like “f*ck yeah, it’s about time one of us got practical!”, i get things like “oh, ok, well then i guess your reception’s going to have a taco cart and tequila (but not patron cuz that’s too expensive).” yes, they’re joking but…in a way, it’s almost like they’re also implying…hm, your wedding’s going to be soo cheapass.

so then it makes me think…that the problem isn’t just the wedding industry…it’s the masses who believe ‘budget’ could only possibly mean tasteless or trashy or completely lacking. but WHY is that? argh.

it’s been frustrating so far…to constantly have to justify my decision to have a budget wedding and to defend that it’s not going to be ‘lame’…and that it’s not my intention to be ‘cheap’…

…to the point where i’ve decided to just stick to my blog to air my budget-mindedness instead of trying to make even my closest friends understand. we all have our own reasons for being budget brides, whether it be financial or practical or situational or whatever…but we shouldn’t have to feel bad about it.

holler! great post. got me all riled up. in a good way!