We are cutting a lot of traditions from our wedding that we think have weird gender implications. We are not doing a garter toss. Luckily, since its a Jewish wedding I don’t need to decide about how I feel about my Dad walking me down the aisle, since both parents will walk me down the aisle, which I love. We’ve reworded our invitation in a less traditional way that makes me feel more comfortable. No one is giving me away “to” someone else, thanks!
That said, I’m thinking of tossing my bouquet. Why? Because I am a professional on the bouquet catch circuit. I’ve been catching bouquets or wrestling other people to the ground while trying to since I was at least five or six. I love it! It’s one of the most fun parts of a wedding, as far as I’m concerned. However, I really don’t love the “woman who catches the bouquet is the next to wed” idea. So, we are thinking of just making it up for grabs for anyone to catch, and make it “good luck.”
I’ve heard a few alternate ideas. I like the idea of doing a ‘bouquet dance’ where you present the idea to the couple who has been married the longest. I suggested that to my parents, and they looked a little panicked. Apparently, they might BE the couple married the longest at the wedding, and didn’t love the idea of being pointed out for being well, older. Which of course I hadn’t thought of. I mentioned this before, but one of the best ideas I’ve heard is Ariel’s method, where she gave it to a recently married gay couple, with a few words about how she hoped soon all couples would get the rights of marriage (and the stress of wedding planning). With California making gay marriages legal, and New York recognizing gay unions, we may well have some recently legally married friends on hand. So that is another possibility.
What about you, dear readers? What are you doing with your bouquet? What wedding traditions are you keeping, which ones are you skipping? Which traditions seem fine to you, and which rub you the wrong way?
Photo via Maggie Mason, of her own wedding.