So, I've been admiring shoes lately. Specifically, I've been admiring super expensive to-die-for shoes worn by brides in super high end weddings. Then one day I was looking at a pair of lovely shoes, and I thought to myself, "Hey? Whats another $500 on top of everything a wedding costs? I'm sure I could just pay for these on my own and not put them in the budget. Who cares? It's my wedding day. I'm only planning on doing this once."
Then I took a deep breath. And thought for a moment.
And realized that this exactly the kind of crazy wedding thinking that can get you in a world of trouble really quickly. This is how we get trapped in the downward budget spiral. The dress? Only double what we wanted to spend, but so much less then what most brides are spending, and so pretty too! The catering? Yes, its over budget, but great food is great food. The photobooth? Yes, we didn't have it budgeted in, but we don't want to regret not having it, right? The problem is, this type of thinking is reinforced over and over again by the great world o' weddings, and it's so seductive that we want to believe it.
I'm not going on the record as being totally against expensive wedding shoes, and I'm not saying I'm above wedding day splurges. I'm sure that when it comes down to the wire I'll splurge on something. What I am saying is we need to watch out for this dangerous thinking. We should try to replace it with the fact that getting married is a adult decision, and as adults we know that we don't get everything we want or "deserve." I'd rather look back on my wedding and be proud of the responsible spending choices I made, then know that I got everything I wanted.
And I know that's not what the WIC is looking for in a girl.
Picture via Peonies and Polaroids
Get them!! They are too divine for words and every time you were them… girl! These shoes!
June 5, 2008 7:21 am
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I also saw so many pictures of gorgeous shoes, and I too thought the same thing you did. But I stopped myself by thinking about all the other things I could buy for $500. Like the coffee table I’ve been wanting. And truth be known, I wouldn’t really wear those shoes all that often anyways – I’m just not that type of gal. So I went online and found a pair that was really what I wanted – a pop of color (orange), peep toe, sling back flats. With a gold embellishment ring over the toes. They’re so pretty, comfortable(!!!!), and only cost me $69 including shipping. A far cry from $500.
If you have the money and you really would wear the shoes again (quite often), then it may be worth it for somebody. But it just wasn’t right for me.
June 5, 2008 8:13 am
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Thank you for this insightful post – I came across it just as I was beginning to slide back into that trap of “but it’s just a few hundred dollars”….that we could be saving for a house, I have to keep reminding myself. Stay strong. Fantastic shoes are fantastic, but being solvent after the wedding will be fantastic too.
June 5, 2008 10:20 am
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I feel like I should take your blog posts and tape them around my house as inspirational reminders. Thanks yet again!
June 5, 2008 10:26 am
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Stop reading my mind girl, for real. I even JUST found a picture of some Jimmy Choos to go with my post about my refusal to spend on shoes and then you took the words out of my mouth… and made it sound so much better. *sign* Not to mention now I want the shoes you posted! Grr!
June 5, 2008 12:26 pm
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Amen!
June 5, 2008 12:56 pm
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Absolutely dead-on true!!! And even when you think you’ve got it conquered, it inevitably creeps back in….
But even thought it pains my cheapskate nature, I will say, reluctantly, that some splurges turn out to be worthwhile. After many sleepless nights on the Internet looking for a student photographer or someone else who’d “just create a decent record of the day, for cheap,” I let others talk me into hiring my dream photographer. She was 1/2 the going price in our locale, so “splurge” is relative, but it’s still something we hadn’t planned.
And, as it turned out, hiring her was one of our best wedding decisions. I treasure the photographs and can’t get enough of looking at them. (And once we receive the DVD, I plan to share prints of fabulous guest photos with their subjects, and spread the love!) The subject of a “useful splurge” will vary by person, but if there’s something you can reasonably afford that will ultimately make it your dream day, maybe it’s worthwhile.
June 5, 2008 1:23 pm
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i agree. it’s a slippery slippery slope of going over budget.
specifically in regard to shoes, i do have to say that i’m going with some pricey shoes (to go with my super-cheap ebay dress!) but i’m getting them in a bright color that i will wear again and again. but if you’re going the ivory satin manolos route, the chances of wearing those again are probably pretty slim…
June 5, 2008 4:47 pm
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AGREED.
Then again, from this self-professed shoe whore’s perspective: there’s always a REALLY GOOD sale.
So I found my $566 Alexander McQueens for $130 on eBay. See? You can have both if you search hard enough.
June 5, 2008 6:11 pm
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Your post gave me a rare, “me too!” moment that I haven’t found in today’s standard of $$$ weddings. I just had to mention you in my newborn blog.
June 6, 2008 5:32 am
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what wise thoughts you have! there are so many choices in wedding planning and it’s too easy to splurge or indulge. your post is great cause it reminded me that i need to take a step back once in a while, breathe, and think about if i really want that item for the wedding. or perhaps maybe it’s unnecessary and i could live without it. that being said, i have to ditto and say that those are fabulous shoes :)
June 6, 2008 9:39 am
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Of course they are fabulous shoes! They are one of the few pairs that even tempts me at those crazy prices. Sigh, swoon.
June 6, 2008 3:26 pm
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Absolutely gorgeous, really to die for..anyway, i am writing from Italy, Florence…
Bye Bye there!
June 10, 2008 11:36 pm
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First off, I just tripped across your site today, and I’m so glad. I’ve only been engaged a week but the initial research was raising my blood pressure. Reading through your site has made me feel so much better, and doing it nice and early (before we start really booking stuff) I think is going to make a huge difference in making our wedding what WE want on the budget we can actually afford. Bless you.
Secondly, I’d say if there is one thing to splurge on a little it’s something you will use again over the years. For me, that’s either the jewelry or the shoes.
July 25, 2011 4:03 pm
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