I'm excited to announce our very first contest! Who-hoo! Now, do you think I'm giving something away, and all you have to do is leave a comment and get picked? Of course not. Over here at chez practical we value wit more then that. So, Modern Bride has introduced a new ad campaign, "I’m a Modern Bride because..." I've included the only adorable ad above. As for the rest, well, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, right? Except, really? You’re a modern bride because your wedding lasted four days? FOUR DAYS? That is a lot of inconvenience and forced merriment on the part of your guests. When I was small my mother used to tell me that if Christmas was every day, it wouldn't be fun anymore. The same can be said of weddings.
Which brings me to the contest. Why are you a Practical Bride (or groom)? Leave your answer in the comments. I have two prizes! A copy of One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding for the wittiest answer, and a copy of Miss Manners On {Painfully Proper} Weddings goes to the writer of the wisest answer. Oh yes, and (internet) fame and glory. That goes to both winners. Go for something that will make us laugh, or will make us nod our heads, and murmur "true, true."
Let's see what Team Practical can come up with. I'm expecting big things. (Also, you absolutely do not have to be engaged to enter, just a clever writer.)
And… GO! Comments are open for exactly one week (and you can enter as many times as you want)
i am a practical bride because i’m serving my grandma’s cupcakes at my reception in lieu of an expensive cake!
July 17, 2008 5:35 am
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i am a practical bride because i bought my dress online @ jcrew but still went to david’s bridal to try on “real” wedding dresses… just for the experience.
July 17, 2008 5:36 am
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i am a practical bride because my M.O.H. and B.M.’s can wear ANYTHING they want, as long as it’s new and black… because i have been a bridesmaid 7 times and i have 7 awful dresses hanging in my closet, and i understand.
July 17, 2008 5:38 am
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We’re a practical couple because one of our criteria for choosing a venue is “Does the dog approve?”
Her positive review of our last venue tour:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v466
/StealthDog02/DSC02617.jpg
July 17, 2008 5:49 am
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I am a practical bride because (1) I’m baking my own cupcakes (in lieu of an overly priced and possibly not so tasty wedding cake), (2) the bouquets and flowers for VIPs will be wooden roses and lilies, arranged by me (I’ll offer to re-make Grandma’s corsage and Grandpa’s boutonniere into a small flower arrangement AFTER the honeymoon), (3) we’re going to have 2 of our best friends (a couple) act as our Master and Mistress of Ceremonies doing all the announcements and tending the laptop, in lieu of a DJ, (4) I’m going to wear a dress that makes me feel and look stunning, will not be a “wedding” dress, and will be as affordable and re-wearable as possible!
Phew!
July 17, 2008 5:50 am
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I am a practical bride because I won’t let my husband to be shell out an enormous amount of money for an engagement ring. Instead of a diamond ring, I’d rather he pay our mortgage for the month (though he still plans to get me a pretty ring, but one that does not have a price tag that competes with keeping a roof over our and our pets’ heads).
July 17, 2008 5:53 am
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I’m a practical bride because I’m serving a homemade cake and a simple buffet so we can eat more than Ramen noodles for the next five years.
July 17, 2008 5:58 am
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I’m a practical bride because on a daily basis I remind myself the purpose of our wedding: to be wed.
July 17, 2008 6:03 am
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My fiance says that he’s a practical groom because the first thing he planned for our wedding was arranging for a port-o-potty :)
July 17, 2008 6:21 am
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I’m a practical bride because not only do I realize that the day cannot be perfect nor can I, but I don’t strive for it. Instead I strive to just be me and for our wedding to reflect who we are not who we wish to pretend to be.
Also no matter what happens or what gets forgotten about or destroyed as long as we are married by the end of the day it’s a good wedding.
July 17, 2008 6:39 am
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I am a practical bride because, for me, the most important is to the share the day with my loved ones, beginning with the groom.
July 17, 2008 6:58 am
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I’m a practical bride because all I want to do is elope, but know I’d hurt my friends’ feelings if I did.
To accommodate fares and schedules, we’re renting a house for a week. Most of the group has never been to Seattle and is looking forward to it, so by covering housing costs they’re not forced to spend their time fretting over how to fly out, see the town and get back. Mind you, we decided on Seattle because we literally couldn’t afford anything decent on Long Island (where my alma mater is), the rest of New York is a logistical nightmare and elopement there meant offending some of our closest friends who are moving to California.
I intend to cook most of the food with my fiance, give out bus passes to guests so they can check out the city (I picked a house near a university and a farmer’s market!) and just intend to let people enjoy their day or days off. I think we’ll spend most of it gaming.
July 17, 2008 7:39 am
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I’m a practical bride because I refuse to go into debt for this, and rather than spend money on a dress (I’ll be using the one my grandma made for my mom with some alterations) or a ring (I have my grandma’s antique diamond) or sit-down dinners with food that isn’t even that good or anything else that doesn’t reflect what we value and the people we love, we’re saving our money in order to help his Scottish family fly to the States for the wedding—because it’s the people who’ve helped us reach this point that we want to celebrate with and have surrounding us. Because we’ll walk ourselves up the aisle because we’re the ones who invited guests to the party, not our parents; because we’ll probably perform some silly-beautiful (and totally accurate) Motown love song to each other in lieu of sacred vows; because we’re utilizing the skills and support and love of all our friends in order to celebrate how freaking sweet it is that we love each other—that’s why we’re a practical going-to-be-married couple.
July 17, 2008 7:55 am
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i am a practical bride
bc i am getting married in the church that i grew up (for free!)
but to do that, we have to wait until the end of next year for it to be rebuilt
July 17, 2008 7:59 am
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im a practical bride
because i joined the “simplify movement” extending to my wedding.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/finalword/2008-01-08-final-word_N.htm
July 17, 2008 8:04 am
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i’m a practical bride, because i reject the princess bride fantasy!
July 17, 2008 8:41 am
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I’m a practical bride because…
I remember no amount of color coordinated ribbon will ever make me as happy as seeing my husband to be at the end of the aisle.
July 17, 2008 8:50 am
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I’m a practical bride because I learned my lesson. This is my second time to the alter, and my new husband-to-be is EIGHT YEARS YOUNGER than me. The most practical decision I’ve ever made (for a variety of reasons!!!)
July 17, 2008 8:51 am
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I’m a practical bride because
…we didn’t let a little weather ruin the party, and got married on a road at the last minute.
…I designed my own engagement ring and wedding ring.
…we had our wedding reception in a brewery, so the beer was free.
July 17, 2008 8:52 am
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I’m a practical bride because I choose to spend money on things that the guests will enjoy (e.g., good food and music, not bridal party limos and fake eyelashes) and things that will last longer than the wedding celebration (e.g., photos and rings, not bouquets and bridal gown).
July 17, 2008 8:59 am
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I’m a practical bride because our two biggest splurges were our wedding rings and our photographer — because you wear the wedding rings for the rest of your lives, and after the party’s over, all that’s left are the pictures!
July 17, 2008 9:01 am
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I’m a practical bride because the most expensive element of my invitations was the postage!
July 17, 2008 9:02 am
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I’m a practical bride because I refuse to make the earth pay for our celebration by having the reception and ceremony in the same place and in a location closest to the majority of guests to reduce our carbon footprint; using reusable, edible, natural or recycled decor; eschewing the RSVP card, menu cards, photo-sharing cards, and other mildly useful paper goods; and wearing an heirloom dress.
July 17, 2008 9:03 am
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I’m a practical bride because we’re not spending money we don’t have.
July 17, 2008 9:06 am
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I’m a practical bride because I’m making my centerpeices and loving everyminute of it!
July 17, 2008 9:19 am
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I’m a practical bride, because I know this isn’t the happiest/most important/{insert clich茅 superlative here} day of our lives.
A fun, festive party? Sure. An expense we’ll budget for over the next few months? Bien s没r! A lovely day with sweet, thoughtful touches our guests will appreciate and enjoy? If we do our jobs well.
But an opportunity to make our friends and family feel that their own special days were inadequate by compare? An excuse to blow our savings? A reason to fret about whether ruched organza is so totally last season? To paraphrase the prophet Winehouse, “They’re trying to make me do it/but I said, ‘No, no, no…’ “
July 17, 2008 9:42 am
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v679/lesserbeing/practical.jpg
July 17, 2008 9:49 am
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I’m a practical bride because
I don’t spend $75 to feed myself for one meal, so I won’t spend $75 per person to feed my guests. Hello Indian food buffet!
July 17, 2008 10:04 am
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I’m a Practical Bride because I’m getting married to my beloved on the rugged beach of my native island in the presence of our nearest and dearest, wearing a simple dress my mum made (truthfully she’s the practical one, I LOVE my mum).
Our largest expense is renting a house for family and friends to meet and enjoy with us the week before the wedding. We’re holding the festivities in the garden a short walk from the sea. My talented fiancĂŠ will do most of the cooking and I’ll bake the cake. Our wonderful guests are helping out with everything from lending us a classic car for transport to making the peace lanterns we will release into the sea after sunset. Actually, may I nominate all our guests as the Practical Wedding Party?
Most practically though we have decided we don’t need more stuff (we are yet to settle in one country, never mind city), so instead of a traditional registry we are asking for special treats, such as museum visits and dinners.
July 17, 2008 10:08 am
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i am a practical bride because i know when to do things handmade (runners, signs, invites, dessert, gifts, etc) and when to hire someone (food, linens). both of which prevent me from going crazy
July 17, 2008 10:30 am
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I’m a practical bride because I remember that at the end of the day, I won’t be a bride. I’ll be a wife. And that matters most.
July 17, 2008 10:39 am
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I guess I’m a practical bride because I don’t think of myself as a bride. Sure, we’re engaged, but I only see that as a great step towards becoming a married couple. And that excites me more than a ceremony or dress.
Oh, and we plan on having a simple ceremony at a great destination and only invite our families and very close friends. We’re going to make it a vacation for all. I see it as a celebration of our guests as well, because if it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t be who we are today and may not have met.
July 17, 2008 11:08 am
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I guess I’m a practical “bride” because I’m already saving for the wedding and I’m not engaged yet. I’m not delusional, we will be engaged by the end of the year. I figure “why wait?” I’m a planner and a saver. I want to have a really whimsical, wonderful wedding, but without going bankrupt in the process.
July 17, 2008 11:32 am
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I’m a practical bride because, I’m a practical person and being a bride shouldn’t change who you are.
July 17, 2008 12:00 pm
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I am a practical bride because we are having exactly what we want. If it all falls apart thats okay too. As long as I am there, he is there and the preacher is there then it will be okay.
Our cruiseship wedding will last a week for those who want to come but we only invited 30 people and having parents on opposite sides of the globe it makes sense for everyone to spend a week together. It actually works out to about the same cost if we rented a venue and had the wedding at home.
July 17, 2008 12:15 pm
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I am a practical bride because…
I finally realize that the only likely person that will remember your wedding centerpieces will be you and not the 299 other guests.
I am a practical bride because….
after getting lost in the world of color palettes and bridal wear…the best investment for my wedding is to go for a pre-marital counseling session to help build a lasting marriage.
I am a practical bride because….
I extended our engagement until we are financially ready to afford the "wedding of our dreams."
Wedding of our dreams = a destination wedding to Italy with close family and friends & a laid back so-cal(southern california)/mexican/filipino fiesta style reception back home for both of our ENORMOUS extended family
July 17, 2008 12:36 pm
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I’m a practical bride because I’m wearing my mother’s beautiful and expensive dress from 1981! (No, it doesn’t have poufy sleeves!)
July 17, 2008 12:44 pm
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I’m a practical bride because my fiancĂŠ and I wrote down our list of top priorities before talking to either set of parents :)
July 17, 2008 12:47 pm
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I’m a practical bride because we are using inexpensive, but beautiful electronic invitations for our rehearsal dinner (and they are not evites!). They’ll display a photo of my fiancĂŠ and I from the day we got engaged :)
July 17, 2008 12:49 pm
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I’m a practical bride because I’m delegating responsibilities to my fiancĂŠ and our parents so I can concentrate on studying for the bar.
July 17, 2008 12:51 pm
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I’m a practical bride because the ceremony and celebration will all be in the same place so there will be no changing of outfits, no driving through traffic, no boredom on the part of our guests. Also, the venue is located close to public transportation and all other celebratory events of the weekend (religious services, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, etc.) are all within walking distance; we even told our guests *not* to rent cars!
July 17, 2008 12:55 pm
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Last one for now: I’m a practical bride because I’ve told my male guests how to save $20 on tux rentals.
July 17, 2008 12:56 pm
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I am also a practical bride because I negotiate, negotiate, negotiate. Seriously, alternative dispute resolution, with its negotiation component, was one of the best courses I took as a law student. I have found deals for as much as 50% less than what my wedding planner offers (woohoo!). Shop around! And I have convinced companies to offer me free shipping or other discounts! Yay for saving money (or at least allocating it for your priorities)!
July 17, 2008 2:12 pm
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I am a practical bride because I am not serving meat or fowl! Instead, I am following Mark Bittman's advice: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/11/dining/11mini.html?_r=1&ref;=dining&oref;=slogin
So there will be lots of seasonal (autumn) and local goodies! My hope is to fill our out-of-towner bags with some produce straight from the farmer's markets (and negotiate the price since I'll buy a case/flat – see tip above).
July 17, 2008 2:20 pm
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I’m a practical bride because…
…I don’t expect my wedding to be perfect
…I bought my wedding shoes on clearance at Kohl’s
…I don’t consider my bridesmaids to be part of the decoration
July 17, 2008 3:08 pm
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I am a practical bride because I know that Two-Buck-Chuck will get everyone just as drunk as Dom Perignon will.
July 17, 2008 3:16 pm
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I’m a practical bride because every other bride I know isn’t.
July 17, 2008 3:56 pm
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I am a practical bride because:
1. Anyone my fiance and I haven’t been in touch with in the past year, family or friend, isn’t invited to our wedding.
2. See #1. My evil grandmother who emptied out my parents’ bank account before they got married (true story) and is currently dating a man she met via prison love letters (deeply unfortunate true story), is NOT invited to my wedding. She is family. Sometimes that is just not enough.
3. We aren’t having a wedding party. No attendants. No, you read that correctly. No one. There will be no one to humiliate. No one to spend all of their hard-earned cash on an outfit they’ll not only never wear again, but most likely will not even want to wear the first time around. No one to boss around and give dirty looks to when they show up a little late because they knew you told them to arrive 45 minutes before they actually needed to be there. No one! Disclaimer: Ok, I’ve been a bridesmaid a few (thousand) times, but this portion of my practical-ness has no bearing on past experiences, cross my heart!
4. The groom and I will get ready for the wedding TOGETHER. Yes, this means that he will see the dress. Heck, he’ll probably help me pick out the dress. He’s got damn good taste. And look, he’s seen what’s under the dress. Me. Naked. Many times in the past 8.5 years. No surprises there, no mystery. Just the way we like it.
4a. We plan on walking down the aisle together. Nothing against good ole Dad, but there’s something about the whole “giving away” thing that creeps me out. I don’t equate my father with my husband and I certainly am not a possessed object to be given to anybody. Feminist-ish maybe, but I can’t help it. We walk in together as two people who love each other, we walk out together as two people who love each other and are married. It’ll work.
5. I plan on having a good time at my own wedding.
6. My mother hasn’t asked me about how the planning is going. Not once. We talk at least twice a week. How cool is she? I can talk about it, but she doesn’t ask because she doesn’t want it to seem like that’s the most important thing we have to talk about. She has also never asked what anything will cost. How sweet is that? God, I love my mother.
7. Nothing named or resembling a “station” is allowed at my reception. Stations are for trains and busses. Odd pet peeve, I know. Everybody has ‘em, this is mine.
8. I took over paying the rent for a few months after my fiance proposed to me with the most beautiful sapphire ring. I can’t reconcile myself to letting him spend so much on me. We’re in this together. I wasn’t expecting a ring at all…but I wouldn’t give this baby back for anything.
9. If I suddenly and mysteriously came into a huge fortune and had a multi-million dollar budget for this wedding, it’d still be the low-key, fun, intimate event I’m planning today. But just for the sake of curiosity, let’s imagine it together. Close your eyes. Imagine me, filthy rich. While we’re at it, imagine me filthy rich with really skinny thighs, glossy hair and whiter teeth. Ok, ready. What would I do with all this cash? Would I rent a castle in the English countryside and fly everyone I’ve ever met there for a 2-week extravaganza complete with circus animals and thousands of yards of fushia silk? No, I’d buy us a pretty house with a cozy backyard and invite the same 100 people on my current list to come hang out at my pretty house in my great backyard, eat yummy food and dance the night away. Truthfully, the only thing that I’d really spring for is a super-out-of-this-world photographer…to properly document my skinny thighs, glossy hair and white teeth. My point is, it’s the great time you show your guests that counts, not all of the “extras” that cost so much money and are so forgettable.
I’m a practical bride because I don’t want my wedding to be “Magazine Worthy.” I want it to be fun, intimate, personal and just a great way to spend time with the people that we love, who have been a part of our relationship from the start. That’s what’s important to me. Not pashminas and birdy cake toppers. Not alternating colored seat cushions. Not Vera Wang. Not photo booths and ice cream trucks. It’s the love. Ain’t love practical?
July 17, 2008 4:44 pm
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I’m a practical bride and we’re a practical couple because: a) We’re choosing a reception site that is all-inclusive from appetizers to DJ to centerpieces to dinner to drinks to cake; b) I’m handcrafting our Save-The-Date notifications and started crafting these super early so I had ample time to wait for sales at Michael’s, esp. when I didn’t buy enough the first time around!; c) I have all things paper-related for the wedding drafted and formatted, such as programs, menu cards, signs, place cards, ready for the final OK and printing – and our wedding is next April; and d) I have a running list of things and instructions to hand off/remind my wedding coordinators (cousins) as well as a various wedding-day schedules for everyone who will be helping out with a different task that day.
These are practical things that I do because our families are huge and I wish for everyone to be in-the-know so there is as little chaos and confusion as possible. I want everyone to know that the bar is Open and we’re being charged a flat rate – I don’t want them to guess or feel shy about asking, and then not get their soda because they think it might cost us!
July 17, 2008 4:46 pm
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I am a practical bride because I have no other choice. Our money’s limited, but our love is not. So we’re going to put as much love (not money) into the planning of our wedding as possible. (Mushy, I know.)
I’m a practical bride because I constantly find myself telling my mother that things are too expensive. (She’s not even paying!)
And… I’m a (perhaps not-so) practical bride because I am REFUSING to order a $2,000 tent for my reception. That’s a ridiculous amount of money. I hope our guests bring umbrellas in case of rain…
July 17, 2008 5:18 pm
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