Comments on: Betwixt and Between Brides (and grooms) http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/ Weddings. Minus the insanity, plus the marriage. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 04:14:08 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Tree http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8673 Tree Fri, 19 Mar 2010 08:29:14 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8673 This is definitely how we felt. Even though i've been an avid reader for awhile now, I wish I had seen this post before our wedding. I think it would have helped center me between the country-mouse versus city mouse expectations with our families. Very well said, Meg. :) This is definitely how we felt. Even though i've been an avid reader for awhile now, I wish I had seen this post before our wedding. I think it would have helped center me between the country-mouse versus city mouse expectations with our families. Very well said, Meg. :)

]]> By: Becky (rksquared) http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8674 Becky (rksquared) Mon, 06 Oct 2008 21:02:12 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8674 So, I'm a little late reading this (catching up on posts after my wedding), and I'm certainly not the only one to relate to this post.<br /><br />My biggest "betwixt and between" feeling was not around buget, per se (although I relate to that, too), but around the number of guests we invited to our wedding. I feel (because of posts I've read) that many couples who decide to have small(er) weddings are convinced that all big weddings are due to pressure from one or both sets of parents.<br /><br />My husband and I are lucky to have parents who have not only supported us in our relationship, but supported us throughout our wedding planning, as well. We had 280+ guests on our list with about 210 guests in attendance at our wedding. Many of these guests were extended family and friends of our parents (and grandparents) that we were more than happy to invite. Some of these people, we didn't know well, and in a few cases, not at all. <br /><br />Could we have saved money by not inviting these guests? Sure. To us our wedding was not just about us, the couple, but also about the families involved. I was thrilled that our parents wanted to celebrate this occasion with their friends...why shouldn't they? I could only hope that our wedding day was just as much a joyful day for them as it was for us. Again, I say that we were happy to invite these people...and post wedding, my opinion hasn't changed. So, I’m a little late reading this (catching up on posts after my wedding), and I’m certainly not the only one to relate to this post.

My biggest “betwixt and between” feeling was not around buget, per se (although I relate to that, too), but around the number of guests we invited to our wedding. I feel (because of posts I’ve read) that many couples who decide to have small(er) weddings are convinced that all big weddings are due to pressure from one or both sets of parents.

My husband and I are lucky to have parents who have not only supported us in our relationship, but supported us throughout our wedding planning, as well. We had 280+ guests on our list with about 210 guests in attendance at our wedding. Many of these guests were extended family and friends of our parents (and grandparents) that we were more than happy to invite. Some of these people, we didn’t know well, and in a few cases, not at all.

Could we have saved money by not inviting these guests? Sure. To us our wedding was not just about us, the couple, but also about the families involved. I was thrilled that our parents wanted to celebrate this occasion with their friends…why shouldn’t they? I could only hope that our wedding day was just as much a joyful day for them as it was for us. Again, I say that we were happy to invite these people…and post wedding, my opinion hasn’t changed.

]]> By: Erika http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8675 Erika Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:38:20 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8675 Thank you, Meg! I am getting married on Saturday, and your blog has kept me sane the last two months. In fact, I had to delete my other wedding blog feeds because they were driving me nuts--either too perfect or too preachy! Yours is the last blog standing. We're having a "betwixt and between" wedding with a catered buffet and professional photography, and DIY flowers and friends bartending. <br />The big change in my outlook came when I stopped feeling like I wasn't having a "real" wedding. Now at the end of this process, I realize that I am indeed having a real wedding, I am having the wedding that feels the most "real" to me and my fiance. We went to two fancier and more traditional weddings this summer--both of close friends of mine--and these two people are thrilled to do a volunteer bartending shift at our wedding. After reading some of the comments here, I feel very lucky that our friends and family have generally accepted our wedding for what it is, even if it doesn't fit all of their expectations. Thank you, Meg! I am getting married on Saturday, and your blog has kept me sane the last two months. In fact, I had to delete my other wedding blog feeds because they were driving me nuts–either too perfect or too preachy! Yours is the last blog standing. We’re having a “betwixt and between” wedding with a catered buffet and professional photography, and DIY flowers and friends bartending.
The big change in my outlook came when I stopped feeling like I wasn’t having a “real” wedding. Now at the end of this process, I realize that I am indeed having a real wedding, I am having the wedding that feels the most “real” to me and my fiance. We went to two fancier and more traditional weddings this summer–both of close friends of mine–and these two people are thrilled to do a volunteer bartending shift at our wedding. After reading some of the comments here, I feel very lucky that our friends and family have generally accepted our wedding for what it is, even if it doesn’t fit all of their expectations.

]]> By: erinmaureen http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8676 erinmaureen Tue, 16 Sep 2008 06:45:14 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8676 thank you for putting everything i've been feeling lately into an awesome blog post. either everything isn't fancy or perfect enough for my parent's only child, and only daughter's wedding, or its not thrifty and DIY enough for my own thrift store tastes. I am trying to find a common ground between the lavish wedding my parents want (and I thank them for the 'practical' budget they are giving us) and the laid back 'no one cares about favors or chiavari chairs' wedding my fiance and i want. its a tough to incorporate all the ideas you want, your family wants, and society wants, while remaining true to your own self. But blogs like yours are helping us 'betwixt and between' gals find a common ground, and that is the day we are planning to be joined with the one we love forever. I wish i could run to city hall tomorrow! thank you for putting everything i’ve been feeling lately into an awesome blog post. either everything isn’t fancy or perfect enough for my parent’s only child, and only daughter’s wedding, or its not thrifty and DIY enough for my own thrift store tastes. I am trying to find a common ground between the lavish wedding my parents want (and I thank them for the ‘practical’ budget they are giving us) and the laid back ‘no one cares about favors or chiavari chairs’ wedding my fiance and i want. its a tough to incorporate all the ideas you want, your family wants, and society wants, while remaining true to your own self. But blogs like yours are helping us ‘betwixt and between’ gals find a common ground, and that is the day we are planning to be joined with the one we love forever. I wish i could run to city hall tomorrow!

]]> By: Julia http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8677 Julia Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:18:58 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8677 hi! I LOVE your blog I find myself nodding in agreement with every post! <br />I am definitely an in-between budget bride, and am finding some of the blogs out there to be really frustrating as a result. I'm not a cool enough anti-bride for the indies, but the budget isn't big enough for some of the more hard-core brides!! you hit it on the head- each wedding should suit the budget, expectations, and desires or the B&G;, and no-one else has right to comment - and, most importantly, budget does NOT = sincerity (or lack thereof) as insinuated by more than one blog. My sisters wedding was the happiest day of my life - every guest had an amazing day and boogied the night away after an awesome meal, and you know what? I don't feel the need to say how much it cost (not least because its not for me to share!!) but because it DOESN'T MATTER - the fact they hired a florist doesn't make the day a farce!! <br />People just need to chill out and do what's right for them, without passing judgement on others - and your blog is a shining example of a great blogging attitude! keep up the good work!!!! hi! I LOVE your blog I find myself nodding in agreement with every post!
I am definitely an in-between budget bride, and am finding some of the blogs out there to be really frustrating as a result. I'm not a cool enough anti-bride for the indies, but the budget isn't big enough for some of the more hard-core brides!! you hit it on the head- each wedding should suit the budget, expectations, and desires or the B&G;, and no-one else has right to comment – and, most importantly, budget does NOT = sincerity (or lack thereof) as insinuated by more than one blog. My sisters wedding was the happiest day of my life – every guest had an amazing day and boogied the night away after an awesome meal, and you know what? I don't feel the need to say how much it cost (not least because its not for me to share!!) but because it DOESN'T MATTER – the fact they hired a florist doesn't make the day a farce!!
People just need to chill out and do what's right for them, without passing judgement on others – and your blog is a shining example of a great blogging attitude! keep up the good work!!!!

]]> By: Polka Dot Bride http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8678 Polka Dot Bride Sun, 14 Sep 2008 18:27:36 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8678 Ah i love this post! It's glorious in that you put into words it all so clearly!<br /><br />I wish there wasn't so much judgment, so much competitiveness amongst brides. I like the wedding blog community though and I hope it brings to life that there is no need for it.<br /><br />Love your blog as always. Ah i love this post! It’s glorious in that you put into words it all so clearly!

I wish there wasn’t so much judgment, so much competitiveness amongst brides. I like the wedding blog community though and I hope it brings to life that there is no need for it.

Love your blog as always.

]]> By: hwong14 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8679 hwong14 Sun, 14 Sep 2008 16:11:06 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8679 I'm totally there. I wanted the bridesmaids to get as much choice as possible in their dresses, so I said, "Here's an [inexpensive] designer with this particular color. Pick any of the dresses!" In return, I get, "But long dresses don't look good next to short. ... The satin and chiffon in the same color look slightly different. ... Are you sure you don't want to just tell us what to wear?" I keep responding with, "I don't care," [meaning, I'm easy-going and accommodating and don't NEED everything to be matchy-matchy] and people don't like it.<br /><br />I find a salon that's open on a Sunday, so we don't have to pay a salon to open up especially for us, and one of my bridesmaids' attitudes goes from, "Oh, will there be a place we can get our hair done?" to, "Well, I mean, if you don't mind if we have our hair down, maybe I'll just wear my hair down instead of getting an updo" once she realizes that the salon I've named is of the discount chain variety. No, I don't care if her hair is up or down, but I do hate being judged for trying to find a practical alternative to making people pay $100 to get their hair done on a Sunday! ARGH!!!!! I’m totally there. I wanted the bridesmaids to get as much choice as possible in their dresses, so I said, “Here’s an [inexpensive] designer with this particular color. Pick any of the dresses!” In return, I get, “But long dresses don’t look good next to short. … The satin and chiffon in the same color look slightly different. … Are you sure you don’t want to just tell us what to wear?” I keep responding with, “I don’t care,” [meaning, I'm easy-going and accommodating and don't NEED everything to be matchy-matchy] and people don’t like it.

I find a salon that’s open on a Sunday, so we don’t have to pay a salon to open up especially for us, and one of my bridesmaids’ attitudes goes from, “Oh, will there be a place we can get our hair done?” to, “Well, I mean, if you don’t mind if we have our hair down, maybe I’ll just wear my hair down instead of getting an updo” once she realizes that the salon I’ve named is of the discount chain variety. No, I don’t care if her hair is up or down, but I do hate being judged for trying to find a practical alternative to making people pay $100 to get their hair done on a Sunday! ARGH!!!!!

]]> By: Anonymous http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8680 Anonymous Sun, 14 Sep 2008 16:10:42 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8680 Thank-you ;-) Thank-you ;-)

]]> By: Anonymous http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8681 Anonymous Sun, 14 Sep 2008 13:41:38 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8681 *big sigh of relief*<br />thank you. <br />this site/this blog has been my saving grace since I started planning my wedding 2 months ago. <br /><br />keep on keeping on. *big sigh of relief*
thank you.
this site/this blog has been my saving grace since I started planning my wedding 2 months ago.

keep on keeping on.

]]> By: Anonymous http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/comment-page-1/#comment-8682 Anonymous Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:56:20 +0000 http://apracticalwedding.com/2008/09/betwixt-and-between-brides-and-grooms/#comment-8682 Holy cow. Thank you. I needed this post. I can't express how frustrating it's been to feel between those two poles of going budget or bonanza on our wedding. And with everything, it's a blessing and a curse to be perusing all these blogs or magazines when it comes to the wedding universe. I keep reminding myself that I have two goals in mind: get hitched & celebrate with my friends and family. Those are the goals...I should have them stitched to my wrist so it'll remind me & the world what is important about a wedding day. Holy cow. Thank you. I needed this post. I can't express how frustrating it's been to feel between those two poles of going budget or bonanza on our wedding. And with everything, it's a blessing and a curse to be perusing all these blogs or magazines when it comes to the wedding universe. I keep reminding myself that I have two goals in mind: get hitched & celebrate with my friends and family. Those are the goals…I should have them stitched to my wrist so it'll remind me & the world what is important about a wedding day.

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