When I saw Joanna's fabulous engagement pictures for the first time (and I know you've seen them, how great are they?) I was overwhelmed with a feeling of nostalgia... thinking about how exciting it felt to be newly engaged, how over the moon we were with that feeling of shiny new beginnings. The pictures capture that feeling better than I've ever seen it captured on film. After looking at the pictures for a few minutes, I realized that we were, after all, still engaged - we had every right to still feel like we were being lifted off the ground by joy and a giant pink balloon.
When I get to the end of the road, I promise to report back to you about what having a 18 month engagement was like in the end... but right now I can just tell you that it feels very long. We've been engaged for 10 months, and we have another 8 to go until the wedding. We picked a long engagement mostly because we knew it would help us keep the wedding more affordable, and it has. We were able to book an affordable bay area venue that books up a year and a half in advance. We've had time to make the dress. We had time to experiment with doing the flowers. All of this is great. Having extra time can be a great way to get good deals. But there is also something very draining about being in an expectant state of waiting for over a year.
The engagement has ended up being a incredible emotional journey for me, and it hasn't all been easy, but I'm not sure I would give any of it up. But, I'm happy that we're beginning to pull out of our mid-engagement slump. Soon it will be just 6 months until the wedding (and the one year anniversary of our engagement all at once). We'll celebrate, and then, suddenly, the wedding will feel just around the corner, and the excitement will start all over again. At first I was excited to be engaged, I was shocked and thrilled every time I saw that bit of sparkle on my finger. Now, I'm excited by the shiny new thing of marriage at the end of the road (and the extra sparkle I'll get on my finger then.)
In the meantime, prepare for a few more posts on things like - pretty flowers! pretty vases! pretty programs! As I get myself excited all over again for the event itself.
Did any of you have long engagements? Are any of you in the middle of long engagements? Do you have words of wisdom to share?
Photo by the amazing Max Wanger
We’re having a three and a half year engagement. I know it’s kind of crazy. We got engaged almost fifteen months ago. The reason for the length is that we were still sophomores in college when he proposed, and we wanted to wait till after graduation to get married, especially since I go to school 4 hours away. Since I graduate in 2010 and he graduates 2011, that puts our wedding in June 2011. In a way, it’s nice, because we have a lot of time to think about things and plan how to do things ourselves (my mom is already thinking about running trials in the attempt to grow our own flowers). On the other hand, it’s definitely strange, because we’ve been engaged so long, but there’s still so long to the wedding, it doesn’t really feel that much different than just dating anymore, since we aren’t doing a lot of active planning yet, if that makes sense. So it’s definitely hard to keep that excitement, and I’m hoping it will come back once we start really planning. And this is a very long comment, so I will stop rambling =).
January 19, 2009 4:10 pm
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and, after reading the other comments, it’s nice to know that i’m not the only one with a 3+ year engagement.
January 19, 2009 4:22 pm
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This is way after the fact because I just discovered this blog, but I am about 2 months into an 18-month engagement. However the actual wedding planning will feel like 12 months to me, as I am finishing a year studying abroad. Out of necessity, my fiance booked the chapel and has been in touch with our reception site, but most everything else is waiting until I get home this summer. It’s hard because I am antsy to really start but trying to let myself enjoy my time over here (Italy) – but I think our engagement is the perfect length and I wouldn’t change it! I love the congrats and knowing it’s going to happen, and I’ve been collecting inspiration since even before we were engaged, but I think I am going to get hit by the reality again once I am home!
February 26, 2009 8:30 am
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i’m in the middle of a 17 month engagement…and i love it.
while i do have a practical reason for doing so (taking the bar exam midway through the engagement) i am glad that we have time to slow down. and think. and create. it makes it very special and we’re working through “kinks” that most of my married friends didn’t encounter until their first few years of marriage.
March 24, 2009 12:31 pm
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We’ll have a 20-month engagement after celebrating our 5-year dating anniversary :) We’ve lived together 3 of the 5 years and we’re paying for 100% (cash) of the wedding ourselves. I’m a graphic designer and dead-set on a 10.10.10 wedding (our theme is typography).
March 25, 2009 9:08 am
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