reclaiming wife

I got an email from reader Jennie sharing her unique take on a bridal party. Since I'm always looking for non-traditional bridal party party ideas, I thought I would share it with you, along with pictures of the beautiful letters she sent to her ladies (go, go, graphic designer brides).
From Jennie:

I am a graphic designer getting married in July. We are working with a small budget, so it is going to be a relatively intimate DIY wedding with about 70 people. We are going to have a late evening ceremony at old mansion near our Milwaukee Lakefront followed by a fun cocktail party reception afterwards. I have so many great girlfriends - old friends, new friends - all of whom mean a great deal to me. However, I was not particularly interested in having bridesmaids as it is a small, non-traditional wedding. (Also, I would of had to have about 15!) I still wanted to include all these girls somehow, but without the normal bridesmaids duties. So I came up with a color palette and sent out a mailing with paint swatches asking each girl to choose her outfit for the wedding from the color palette included. My hope is that in pictures and at the wedding, this magnificent group of women are recognized as special people in my life, but without the traditional title of "bridesmaid".

Thank you for sharing your process Jennie, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who can't wait to see the pictures!

26 comments

  1. Cate Subrosa writes:

    What a cool idea. And going dress shopping with a swatch card sounds like fun :)

    Exactly!

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  2. Kitchen Vixen writes:

    I’m years away from getting married (as far as I know!) but I love reading your blog and LOVE this post. This is exactly what I’d want to do. Thanks for posting.

    Exactly!

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  3. Mouse writes:

    THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!!

    Love the color palette strips in the invitation, too. :)

    Exactly!

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  4. betty lee writes:

    what a fantastic idea. i love the entire packet too.

    i’m not having bridesmaids either and i think this is a fantastic idea for me.

    Exactly!

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  5. Dubbs writes:

    LOVE!! i so should’ve done this instead of having a bridal party at all, woulda saved a lot of headaches!

    Exactly!

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  6. Melissa writes:

    This is such a cool idea!

    Exactly!

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  7. Ingy2009 writes:

    LOVE IT!!!!

    Exactly!

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  8. lovelymorning writes:

    AWESOME idea. i love that she just sent swatches and let them go for it. i’m kind of excited to see how this turns out!

    Exactly!

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  9. Rachel writes:

    I really want to see how this turns out. I love the idea, and I have so many special girls from different phases of my life. This makes so much sense.

    Exactly!

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  10. Lauren writes:

    I’m not having bridesmaids, so I sent an Evite (I love Evites) to 10 of my friends asking them to be non-bridesmaids, with the following job description. It was really fun to read what everyone wrote back (and they all loved the idea!)

    A non-bridesmaid:
    -listens to me complain about how expensive weddings are
    -comes wedding dress shopping IF she wants
    -helps my mom throw a shower
    -comes to the bachelorette party if she can
    -helps out doing whatever you like to do or are good at (i.e. baking snickerdoodles, making invitations, making funny videos of the other guests, drinking mimosas, etc)
    -helps me get ready day-of (hint: this may involve drinking mimosas)
    -tells me when I’m being bride-zilla-ish

    A non-bridesmaid does NOT:
    -Wear the same dress as all the other non-bridesmaids. She wears her own dress (or skirt, or lovely pantsuit) instead.
    -get her hair or makeup done for my wedding (you all are very familiar with making yourself look beautiful every day), Caveat: if you WANT to get your hair or makeup done because you love any excuse to be pampered, then I am all for that! Pamper yourself!
    -Carry flowers. Caveat: if you really want some flowers, I will get you some, just for being such a fabulous friend.
    -Stand in the front of all the other guests. But you can sit in the front row if you arm wrestle my brother for his spot!

    I hope you get the idea. If I were going to have a giant wedding party, you would absolutely all be up there with me, but I’m not, and I still wanted you to know how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate your friendship. Plus, with an Evite, you can all read each other’s clever comments!

    Exactly!

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  11. Wedding Corner writes:

    What a great idea.
    ~Lilian~

    Exactly!

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  12. Spiffy writes:

    um… i think i will blatantly steal this idea.

    Exactly!

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  13. Cyd writes:

    Such an outstanding idea! So much fun and I loooove the idea of using paint chips to identify the palette of choice.

    Exactly!

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  14. jennie writes:

    thanks for all the fun comments! i’ve also started a blog so you can follow everything else!
    http://www.brianandjennie.com

    Exactly!

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  15. Leah writes:

    I love the idea…almost as much as I love the fact that you are getting married at the Villa Terrace! I also live in Milwaukee and am having a small wedding (25 people) – I am so excited for you – it is my FAVORITE place in town. Congrats Jennie!

    Exactly!

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  16. hildeedee writes:

    wow. i have been trying to find a way to include my closest friends without having 10 bridesmaids. i’m having my sister and sister-in-law as maid and matron of honor and i think i just found the way to help my girlfriends feel a part of it. i LOVE this idea…and Lauren’s as well. it seriously gave me tears in my eyes.

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  17. Anonymous writes:

    thanks so much for posting this! I too am juggling the bridesmaids, many dear friends issue, and trying to come up with a good way to include them in a meaningful, heartfelt way. Any other ideas would be GREATLY appreciated!! Thanks PW!

    Exactly!

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  18. Amazing idea, and virtually foolproof! It’s always tough with colors, because people have different ideas of what “shades of pink and peach” should look like.

    Love the design element, so clever!

    Exactly!

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  19. Meg writes:

    Bridal Buzz,
    But who cares what shades of pink and peach people pick? That’s the whole point. You love your girls, you trust them, you want them to be themselves in a way that honors them. They could show up in a sort-of-peach burlap sack and this idea would still rock your socks off.

    As much as Jennie is an awesome graphic designer, this idea isn’t about style, it’s about love.

    Meg

    Exactly!

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  20. The Perfect Palette thinks this idea is absolutely the cutest!

    Exactly!

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  21. Jen writes:

    What a fab idea! Love it. (also love the villa terrace!) congrats.

    Exactly!

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  22. I absolutely love this idea!!
    Fantastic design layout as well.!

    Exactly!

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  23. LA writes:

    I’m a little surprised that everyone thinks this is such a good alternative to the traditional bridal party. Of all the things that a bridesmaid gets to do, wearing something (even just a color) of the bride’s choosing is one of the least enjoyable and least meaningful. What if your friend/family member doesn’t have the cash to buy a new dress for your wedding? What if the colors are unflattering on her? The best part of being a bridesmaid is having a special role during your engagement and on the big day, and getting to stand by your side as you wed, not wearing something that matches with the bride’s color palette.

    It seems like you could honor your non-bridesmaids in some other way, like giving each one a corsage or asking each one to write a poem that you read at the wedding, that would be a special gift both to you AND to them.

    Exactly!

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  24. Anonymous writes:

    LA,
    Keep in mind that what works for one wedding may not work for another. I think the idea is brilliant. Case in point, asking my special ladies to write poetry or such would not work for mine. Perhaps she already took into account that those colors would look great on those ladies, that they probably have something close to that color in that closet. “The best part” isn’t standing by the bride’s side the day of, it is standing by her, period, as clearly these girls have already done.

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  25. Meg writes:

    Anon,
    I couldn’t have responded better myself.
    LA,
    This idea might not work for you, but that doesn’t make it a bad idea. That’s why it’s called a wedding party alternative, there are lots of alternatives. Plus, its not like she’s giving her ladies one color to wear, she’s giving them a huge range, and they may already own something that fits the bill. Plus, keep in mind, what you see on this blog is just the tip of the iceberg. This is a real person with real friends who has had personal conversations with them about this decision. Just because it’s not right for you (fine) doesn’t mean that its not
    right for her or for other people.

    As for “The best part of being a bridesmaid is having a special role during your engagement and on the big day” this women clearly have both. This is just a way to formally honor them.

    Meg

    Exactly!

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  26. Natalie writes:

    I really like the alternatives. I’m in the same boat, want to have 7 girls up there but just hate the idea of it being so big. Can Jennie post her invitation bigger so we can read it? It’s a great idea!

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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