reclaiming wife

Archive for May, 2009

I want to write a little bit about what the roller-coaster 24 hours of the day of decision were like here in San Francisco, but it's taken awhile for me to pull my thoughts together. But I owe this to each of you, so here are my thoughts on supporting and valuing marriage as a civil right:The roller-coaster started on Monday night we went to a prayer service at Grace Cathedral, where it was my privilege to pray for marriage equality in the same room where my parents were married 35 years ago. We prayed, we cried, and we sang. A gay couple spoke about how one of them has a degenerative disability, and because he is not covered through his husband's benefits he is slowly loosing the ability to walk. They talked about how, for them, marriage is not a illusive term, how the struggle for civil rights is his struggle for life, and how they don't have time to wait. There were about 40 clergy present from a multitude of faiths, and most of them pledged that, should the worst happen, they would get arrested in peaceful civil disobedience the next day. Our rabbi was among them. Continue reading 24 Hours For Marriage Equality

I'm excited to get to share Lani and Williams simple, joyful, beautiful wedding. This wedding is stylish in a unassuming way, but the part that makes me love it is the looks on everyone's faces, it's this blissful mix of joy and peace all mixed up together that makes me so happy. So, Lani, take it away: Where your wedding was held: Our wedding ceremony was held at my church, St. Andrew's Anglican in Little Rock, Arkansas. I love the large windows and simple rustic atmosphere. Continue reading Lani & William’s Practical Arkansas Wedding

Sponsored Post
I'm happy to introduce APW's newest sponsor - Modern Girl Invitations. Modern Girl Invitations features crisp, clean, modern wedding invitation styles that are affordable and lovely. One of the neat things about their designs is that you can modify them with a huge variety of colors, which allows you to take their designs and make them your own.
Continue reading Sponsor Introduction: Modern Girl Invitations

Sometimes I struggle with particular aspects of wedding planning, like whether I should get my hair and makeup done. As we've gotten closer to the wedding I've realized that I'm not struggling with the question of if I can afford it or not (I'm remarkably resourceful) or if I'm selling out (I think that idea is silly). What I'm struggling with is, "Can I do this without buying into something that I don't believe in?"

Can I wear a veil and still be a feminist?

Can I get my makeup done and not be a 22 year old sorority girl bride in a ballgown or worse, look like I got let out of the bordello for my wedding day?*

As I was pondering the makeup question, I ended up watching the sideshow (for the millionth time**) of Aly and Elroi's amazing wedding shot by Our Labor of Love. And I came across these two pictures: Continue reading Hair & Makeup (And Feminism)

Two Months Out
I haven't talked for a while about the effing hard parts of planning a wedding, the parts that make me cry, the parts that make me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I get freaked out, I get anxious, and I hope I'm not the only one who does. Please share your wedding anxiety in the comments so we/I can feel less alone! Because I think honesty is the best way to shed a little light in the darkness, this is how I'm feeling these days:

Sometimes planning our wedding I get so lost in what other people want for me that I can't see my way out, I can't see what I want. I get scared that I'll show up at our wedding, and it won't be the wedding that we need, that it won't celebrate who we really are. I wake up in the middle of the night scared that I'll show up on our wedding day and everyone will have misunderstood us and that there will be a garter toss, some ritual cake smashing, piles of formal pictures, that people will insist that I throw my bouquet to the next to wed, and none of it will reflect who we are. And on those days, I go back and revisit some of my favorite weddings... I try to breathe in brides who were able to celebrate fully who they are on their wedding day, who were able to revel in the joy of finding a partner to spend the rest of their lives in.
Continue reading Two Months Out

Yay!!!!! TTO, blogger behind A $10,000 Wedding, is now MARRIED. Lady was one of the first wedding blogs I read, and the very first blogger to introduce my blog to the outside world. And she did it, she's married. Hooray!

Next up, we get to see their hottness, as shot by Max Wanger. It's going to be worth the wait.