We’re back. As I type this we are winging our way home from our honeymoon, and I can’t wait to see all our dear sweet friends again, and sleep in my own bed. What to say? While I was unwilling to say that the wedding was the happiest day of my life so far (see: lack of naps) I will say that these last two weeks, the wedding and the honeymoon, have been some of the most blissful I’ve ever experienced. A life changing moment, a great party, a grand adventure, and plenty of naps (though we walked for miles everyday too, don’t kid yourself). But here is the best part: we’re married now, so this is only our *first* adventure as a married couple, and I fully expect that this will not end up as the best two weeks of my life, just ONE of the happiest times.
Aside: When the stewardess just came by passing out landing cards, she asked if we were a family, and David said, “Yes.” So how great is that?
So. I want to tell you about the wedding, a little bit at a time. This community made me far braver, calmer, and more honest on my wedding day, and that made all the difference. Because of that, I want to share some of that joy with you. The problem is, like East Side Bride before me, I’m having a hard time writing about our wedding. It’s not so much that I’m afraid of shaking the glitter off, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t come off if I tried and I know that there are parts of the wedding that we’ll keep just for us. The problem, I think, is that the wedding feels so big. People always tell you about their wedding details, or their wedding timeline, and I suppose I could tell you about those things, but they miss the point. They are not the wedding I experienced. This is the wedding I experienced:
Which while imperfect, could not have been better for me, or for us.
So, while I’m getting my thoughts together, I’m going to ask you a favor. Leave me a comment (even if you don’t normally comment, I’m specifically inviting you lurkers to come out) and ask me a question. What sorts of stories would you like me to tell about the wedding? I can’t say I’ll answer every question, but it will help me figure out what to share.
On our wedding day, I made a toast to absent friends. So here is to you, Team Practical, physically absent at our wedding, but very much present, in spirit.
Photo: A sneak peak from Heather and Jon of One Love Photo, who are the best photographers on the planet, something I’ll tell you about in more detail later. Also, side note, we won’t get our professional pictures back for another six-ish weeks (which gives us time to cement our memories before we see lots of pictures, which I think is cool) so some stories will probably wait for those pictures.
I want to hear how you felt when you put your dress on the morning of the wedding – did it suddenly feel very real, were you excited, stressed? Were you on your own or did you have friends helping you?
Also – what did you have for breakfast?!
August 23, 2009 4:29 pm
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Did you have an appetite? I told myself I was not going to be one of those brides that didn't get to eat at her wedding, but when it came time, I had NO appetite and I had to choke down food at lunch and didn't get to enjoy the full flavor of our wedding food (which guests were raving about immediately). I was in the moment throughout the entire wedding and was not stressed, but a bit disappointed in my normally very healthy appetite failing me. Oh well – I tasted vicariously through our guests.
Also, while it might be a bit soon – was there any post-wedding depression? It sounded like a joke to me before the wedding, and yet while I was able to let the imperfections roll off my back AT the wedding and enjoy the party, they still haunt me AFTER the wedding. It doesn't help that I am a perfectionist and that I obsessed over these things for 18 months…but I just don't want to admit to myself that I am *that* bride that was so absorbed in the wedding process.
Curious to hear your thoughts. Your posts always were perfect timing for me when I was going through a wedding mental health moment before the wedding. I always wanted to comment to tell you how thankful I was for them, but then my writing skills seemed subpar. Anyhow, I'm coming out of hiding and as much as I am completely done mentally with the wedding, I still check your blog daily as I am curious to hear your wedding summary as well as your thoughtful posts on the deeper issues of marriage.
THANK YOU for all you have contributed to the wedding blog world! I hope you continue to write about married life, but I understand if you feel you must move on.
August 23, 2009 5:04 pm
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I was talking to a recently married friend of mine, and she was giving me advice on the whole planning process. One of the things she chose to share was "At the end of the day, no one gives a crap what china pattern you chose." During her preparations, she remembered freaking out about not liking the china pattern offered by her caterer, and her mom taking her aside and asking her "What china pattern did they choose at the last wedding you attended", to prove the point that no guest would *ever* notice that sort of detail.
Is there anything that you blew way out of proportion? Or anything you chose to completely and utterly NOT focus on, and you're glad you made that choice?
August 23, 2009 5:07 pm
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Lurker here :)
I want to hear about your favorite moment of the whole day. What was the most special, stands out the most in your memory. :)
August 23, 2009 5:14 pm
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I would like to know if you felt. What did it feel like to get married. As a bride getting married in 6 weeks, this is really the hardest thing for me to grasp. I've been caught up in the details until the last week, and now, we're just trying to feel everything. So, how did you feel?
August 23, 2009 5:17 pm
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What were you happiest that you had done? What detail was it that you couldn't imagine your day without? What splurge was worth it?
August 23, 2009 5:21 pm
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congrats Meg!
Please tell us how it felt to see your fiance/hubby for the first time that day!
August 23, 2009 5:40 pm
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What was something that was enjoyed (either expected or unexpected) by the guests at your wedding?
Alex & I have been married for 8 months and I'm surprised because my family still talks about how delicious the food was at our wedding. Of all things, it was totally unexpected, yet makes me happy because who doesn't want people to enjoy the food at a wedding
~
p.s. welcome back! :D
August 23, 2009 5:49 pm
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I want to know what you were really happy that you had done during your wedding planning, and what things came into focus as being unimportant.
Did you like the dress you ended up wearing, i.e. did you feel comfortable the whole day?
Were you able to see everyone you wanted to? If so, do you have some advice on how to manage that successfully?
August 23, 2009 5:54 pm
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I am 8 months to the wedding and feeling calmer and calmer. Details do not matter much anymore and I'm no more scared/nervous if "something" would go wrong, etc.
But there's still one thing i want to know: how did you feel when you realize that you're now having your own "family" independent (sort of) from the family you used to?
August 23, 2009 6:09 pm
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Oh Meg, like words out of my own brain. I felt exactly the same way about the difficulty of trying to describe it to the world because it is indeed so much more than the sum of its parts. (Oh and we also got a twinge of excitement at being able to declare ourselves as "family" at customs, although we were bummed that in the US we still needed separate cards due to our different surnames.)
I just want to know what the most powerful part of the day was for you.
August 23, 2009 6:21 pm
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First… congrats!!
I am getting married on Saturday – 6 days away now! :) And part of my career is planning large galas so I have a tendency to get stuck in details and have strict timelines. Thing is, with work, I am paying people to stick to the timeline, with the wedding, it's family and friends so I'm not sure if they're as dedicated to the timeline as I am. While I have committed to be a guest at my wedding, and enjoy every moment, I too, like Sara H, worry about post-wedding depression… after the event, looking back on what didn't go as planned, and while I let it roll off at the wedding, won't be so happy about it when I'm remembering the wedding. I'm totally interesting in your thoughts on hindsight!
thanks Meg, all the best!
August 23, 2009 6:26 pm
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I admire and applaud your wedding on a budget. Its a goal that I have for myself and I loved reading about your planning. It felt like watching you plan a celebration of a marriage, not a wedding just to impress the guests. And I loved it. Is there anything you would budget differently, cut out, add to?
THank you for sharing it all with you
August 23, 2009 6:27 pm
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How did you feel about your ceremony? What did you include and why? What made those words, those moments (the readings, vows, ring-exchange, etc) special for you?
August 23, 2009 6:28 pm
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Ooh! I want to know how you felt when you guys exited the building, wedding over, husband and wife. Were you excited? Drained? Happy? Overwhelmed? All of those? None of those?
August 23, 2009 6:37 pm
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from a lurker… congrats on your wedding!
I would love to know about your vows. and about what was a part of your wedding you wish you focused on more in the planning stage.
August 23, 2009 6:37 pm
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Hi Meg,
I am an avid reader but I never comment. This blog helped me through my own wedding planning and keeping things in perspective, so a big thank you.
I want to know what made you laugh out loud at your wedding. I thought I would be nervous and serious at my wedding, instead I couldn't stop laughing. There were some hilarious things, others might think of them as things that went wrong, that happened at my wedding. I also was so happy that laughter, instead of tears, bubbled out from me. Completely unexpected but totally treasured.
August 23, 2009 6:46 pm
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what were your favorite behind the scene's moments?
i was just married in may and i have great memories of my dad and i joking before we walked down the aisle together. he is a character and put me at ease before being in the spotlight.
August 23, 2009 6:49 pm
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Hi Meg,
I’ve not ever offered a “comment” before this, but I sort of feel that somehow I owe it to you. Like all your readers I get so out much out of your blog: the words you write, the people you chose to feature, and even the sponsored posts. Much of what you write resonates closely with me – I’m getting married in just over 3 weeks so in many ways your posts have been in sync with where I’m at.
In your most recent post you talked about the lurkers out there. I am one of those, but I’m giving you a new name for us. We are your ‘Pilot Fish”. We swim alongside you, silently, as you navigate the path (gaining protection from the predators out there!).
My question for you is this: How did help yourself to remain serene and calm in the morning before your ceremony whilst being amongst others who are not really into “serenity” and “calmness”? I intend to take a moment for myself before I walk down the aisle in the adjoining cathedral to our own little chapel, but I’m wondering about before that moment – when your girls are around you clucking and preening (as any bridesmaid will no doubt do!) I want to know how you helped yourself to keep the inner calm, without appearing “stand-off-ish” and “out-of-it”? Sometimes people confuse being at peace with not being excited and I just wanted to hear your thoughts on this.
Thanks so much,
A Pilot Fish
August 23, 2009 7:32 pm
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I generally lurk here, but I really enjoy the way you share your thoughts on this blog. My question isn't for you, really, it is for your new hubby…what were his favorite parts of the day, the happy or touching things that he has shared with you, anything that he wishes had been different, etc. I love hearing the highlights for both members of a couple, as they're often different things! (and I feel like the guys are often "left out"-I certainly look forward to hearing your highlights as well!) I know he may not want to post, but maybe his views could be included somehow.
August 23, 2009 7:38 pm
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Did you eat? And more importantly: did you eat because you were hungry or because you HAD to eat or you'd be mental?
Did you cry buckets at the ceremony?
And BTW: the energy in that photo you posted, you in background with a little on in your arms, barefoot, dancing, and a sweet little girl, in her red boots, also dancing – tugged at my heartstrings like no other wedding photo has before.
It looks real. It looks fun. It's a celebration. It's life.
Much love to you and yours as you start anew as a family. xoxo
August 23, 2009 7:56 pm
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Tell us about a moment when you stopped and suddenly thought, "It's here! It's happening!" I had many of these moments (just got married 2 weeks ago), but remember most vividly being at the cabin where we had the reception putting my bouquet together as about 10 people showed up to set up chairs and tables under the tent. It was amazing to see our community show up and take care of us. I'd like to hear about such a moment during your own wedding week. Congrats!
August 23, 2009 8:07 pm
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Was your honeymoon flight long? Did you wish you sprung for business class on the plane?
August 23, 2009 8:08 pm
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Just a curious detail: how long was it before you kicked off your shoes?
August 23, 2009 8:15 pm
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I had a number of pleasant surprises on my wedding day…(same weekend as yours)…and i'd love for you to tell us something that surprised you. and made all that sentiment we can't talk about…tangible.
Mine: We had invited a friend to our wedding but he never responded and we knew he was out of the country during our wedding which was in the east coast (we live in bay area)so we thougt we wouldn't see him. When we were about to walk down the aisle,our coordinator told us to wait for a guest who had gone to the men's room. we did. A couple of seconds later this friend came around teh corner. And when he saw us he put his hand to his mouth and said "oops" and ran inside. My guy and I looked at each other in shock and said: "Larsen?" (our friend's name)….and then we sorta understood that unspoken love friends have for each other…I mean that guy was coming from Istanbul for pete's sake…and he flew in just in time to see us get married? That's love. And we were so moved by that…
August 23, 2009 8:15 pm
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When did you feel bridey? I spent all of my wedding planning feeling very anti-bride, and the moment right before I went to see TH, when there was just me and one of our friends taking photos, and I exclaimed/screamed that I felt like such a bride. (Here's the pic:http://www.flickr.com/photos/x31forest/2415661100/in/set-72157604547094855/)
Also, I would love to see your favorite picture, the one that captures all of the love you and David felt for each other in overpowering waves that day.
Every time I read our wedding post, I think of at least two or three other stories that I wish I would have thought to include. When the wedding is ready to come pouring out of you, it will. And each time, it will be as fantastic and joyful as the last. And each time, it will be a little bit different than the previous mention.
Congrats, lady! :)
August 23, 2009 8:19 pm
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I want to know about the emotions of it all. The father daughter moment, when you 1st see each other, I cry just thinking about that moment. the vows, how much did you share with everyone, vows seem so personal and so many people are listen, how did it feel to hear them to say them, was it as overwhelming as it is to write them. Was there anything you'd do different (other than the naps) Did you have enough time for yourself, and enough time just the 2 of you.
August 23, 2009 8:54 pm
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Congratulations Meg!
My question is: did anything go wrong or turn out different from how you wanted it? I actually find it comforting to hear people's "things that go wrong at weddings" stories, perhaps because they usually end with "and it wasn't that big a deal after all". It helps keep things in perspective.
August 23, 2009 9:07 pm
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Oh Meg the dress looks stunning, even though I can only see the back of it!
When was the first time you had to introduce David to a complete stranger as your husband (instead of your boyfriend/partner)? Were you able to do it straight-faced without breaking into a massive smile and feeling giddy with happiness?
August 23, 2009 9:19 pm
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Hooray! I'm so happy for you guys. Your writing about love and life is really an inspiration, even to someone who does not foresee a wedding in her future very soon. (Also, I'm one more lurker actually posting a comment.)
My question: Since everyone seems to have asked lots about the different joyful feelings and intangible moments, I'm curious about some of the nitty gritty party details! Did you have any quirky personal touches during the ceremony or reception that you were really happy you included? How did the food and drink and dessert all turn out?
Also, I really liked someone else's question about if you had any unexpected surprises throughout the festivities?
August 23, 2009 10:11 pm
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Lurkers, delurking…
I want to know if the logistics of the day got to you, or, assuming they didn't, how you handled the fact that there were so many people with so many different places to be and things to do… in a way that didn't detract from your ability to enjoy the moments you were supposed to being and doing in.
And what you did when you got back to the room with your husband after the day was over.
August 23, 2009 10:42 pm
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I'm interested in hearing about what your ceremony contained – all unique elements? Traditional elements too?
August 23, 2009 10:49 pm
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Hi, long-time lurker here…
after following you're blog fpr so long I wonder which of the choices you made during the planning really mattered on the day. Was there somthing that you thought "I'm so glad we decided to do this this way" about?
August 24, 2009 1:12 am
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My curiosity is similar to that of everythinginplace: I'm really interested in using our wedding as an opportunity to host our friends and family to an awesome party. What were the elements of your wedding, forseen and unforseen, that enhanced the hosting experience?
August 24, 2009 1:20 am
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How did you sleep the night before?
Did you go around and say hi to everyone at the wedding?
August 24, 2009 3:19 am
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Congratulations Meg! So glad it was all so lovely. My question is did you and David feel like you got enough "you" time at the wedding? I'm in the last week now and love hearing about you and others who have just gone through it and getting any last minute insight.
August 24, 2009 3:27 am
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congrats!!!
did you get nervous/nauseous etc. right before walking down the aisle? i ask because despite being so excited about my own wedding(in two months!) and being so happy with our realistic, down to earth, super fun plans, i actually hate being the center of attention and having all (or any!) eyes on me. i'm sort of half-dreaming, half-dreading about the actual ceremony in front of our 50 loved ones. the rest of the wedding – i'm pumped for! so i wonder, if you are anything like me in that regard, what did it feel like JUST before? or while walking down the aisle? or while reciting your vows (honestly, i think i might throw up!!!)
this is not to say i'm worried or don't want the day to come. i can't wait to experience it! just curious if you felt this way too or if those kinds of discomforts melt away in all the magic.
thanks for writing such a fun & honest blog. i'm a new blogger, but have been following helpful sites like yours since i was engaged last year. really enjoy reading your thougtsh!!
susie
August 24, 2009 3:43 am
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So what did it feel like to feel all that love all in one room? From David, your family, your friends?
PS I love the photo. The little girl is adorable. A past Meg perhaps.
August 24, 2009 4:20 am
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Another Lurker here…
Did you feel like you had enough time to see everyone? Did you have a greeting line or any of those fairly organised way of seeing everyone?
Congratulations by the way!
August 24, 2009 4:48 am
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Do you think she'd let me borrow her red boots?
Welcome back, dearie.
August 24, 2009 5:23 am
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Lurker de-lurking here (usually read through your RSS feed).
Slightly echoing Joanna's comment above, I'd like to know about the logistics. Usually at parties I've hosted where lots of people don't know each other, I've spent a lot of time introducing people, offering subjects of conversation that they might have in common, trying to keep conversations flowing in a "hostess" kind of way. Most of the people coming to my wedding will not have met before, so I'm wondering how I try to make sure people don't feel adrift at the reception. I've been to weddings before where I didn't end up meeting anyone and felt very isolated stuck at an assigned seat.
August 24, 2009 5:39 am
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Welcome back! My question would be did you get to enjoy the party? Were you able to spend time with the people you invited and delight in their company?
Everyone tells me I won't actually get to spend time with the guests… and I'm curious to know if you experienced that at all. Because to me, the guests are a huge part of the event. If we don't get to be with them why not just elope?
August 24, 2009 5:54 am
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Oh, I love the picture!
I skimmed the comments and think this was asked before, but just in case… did you cry? When? And how did it feel? I got married at the end of June and thought I'd at least hold out until the vows but I started crying as I walked down the aisle and just DID. NOT. STOP. Seriously, a friend later commented to my husband "She was like a fountain!" So–I'm wondering–did your emotions pour out of you more than you thought they would? Or was it just as you thought it'd be?
August 24, 2009 5:55 am
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I have been lurking on your blog for awhile – not because I am getting married (I have already been married for six years) but because you completely understand the importance of the day and really understand that the true adventure has just begun. I have a ton of friends who are finally catching up and getting married (my husband and I were really young – 23) and I wish that more of them would read your blog to put some excesses in perspective. Anyway, congratulations I am so happy that you are now a family.
I would love to know if during the day you had a favorite step back and take it all in moment?
August 24, 2009 6:15 am
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the first time you called him your husband. how joyous was it? how random or common-place?
August 24, 2009 6:20 am
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Congratulations on your marriage! I'm glad to hear you had a life-changing experience. I just started following your blog, and looks like I made it just in time!
I actually have two questions for you…
1. What song did you use for your first dance with your husband?
2. Did you sleep the night before your wedding? If so, how did you do it??
Looking forward to your next posts!
~ Jen
August 24, 2009 6:29 am
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Congratulations!!
I need to know what types of things went "wrong" or "not as planned"…I am mildly obsessive compulsive and I can have an anxiety attack at any given moment when I think about things going wrong on my wedding day. I need you to tell me "it's not that bad" or "it was no big deal".
I would also love to hear about your ceremony. I am just finalizing our ceremony plans and would love to hear yours.
August 24, 2009 6:32 am
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i want to know where you slept the night before the wedding and who stayed with you? your husband to be? your family? your friends? all your bridesmaids? were you in a hotel or your own bed? did you stay up late talking? did you toss and turn? what did you feel like when morning came and it was your wedding day?
August 24, 2009 6:38 am
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How did you handle doing the music yourselves? I know you had your own playlist(s), but did you have a friend step in and DJ at all? Could people pick songs off the list? We're huge dancers and want to do the music ourselves, so this is crucial for us! Thanks and welcome back!
August 24, 2009 6:58 am
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First of all congratulations!!!
Second, was there anything about the wedding that surprised you? Something that you didn't realize would feel so important in the moment? Something that you thought was so important in the lead up that you didn't even notice at the wedding?
Third, is there one piece of advice you can offer to other brides who are trying to stay sane and hoping to really enjoy the day?
August 24, 2009 6:58 am
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