We’re back. As I type this we are winging our way home from our honeymoon, and I can’t wait to see all our dear sweet friends again, and sleep in my own bed. What to say? While I was unwilling to say that the wedding was the happiest day of my life so far (see: lack of naps) I will say that these last two weeks, the wedding and the honeymoon, have been some of the most blissful I’ve ever experienced. A life changing moment, a great party, a grand adventure, and plenty of naps (though we walked for miles everyday too, don’t kid yourself). But here is the best part: we’re married now, so this is only our *first* adventure as a married couple, and I fully expect that this will not end up as the best two weeks of my life, just ONE of the happiest times.
Aside: When the stewardess just came by passing out landing cards, she asked if we were a family, and David said, “Yes.” So how great is that?
So. I want to tell you about the wedding, a little bit at a time. This community made me far braver, calmer, and more honest on my wedding day, and that made all the difference. Because of that, I want to share some of that joy with you. The problem is, like East Side Bride before me, I’m having a hard time writing about our wedding. It’s not so much that I’m afraid of shaking the glitter off, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t come off if I tried and I know that there are parts of the wedding that we’ll keep just for us. The problem, I think, is that the wedding feels so big. People always tell you about their wedding details, or their wedding timeline, and I suppose I could tell you about those things, but they miss the point. They are not the wedding I experienced. This is the wedding I experienced:
Which while imperfect, could not have been better for me, or for us.
So, while I’m getting my thoughts together, I’m going to ask you a favor. Leave me a comment (even if you don’t normally comment, I’m specifically inviting you lurkers to come out) and ask me a question. What sorts of stories would you like me to tell about the wedding? I can’t say I’ll answer every question, but it will help me figure out what to share.
On our wedding day, I made a toast to absent friends. So here is to you, Team Practical, physically absent at our wedding, but very much present, in spirit.
Photo: A sneak peak from Heather and Jon of One Love Photo, who are the best photographers on the planet, something I’ll tell you about in more detail later. Also, side note, we won’t get our professional pictures back for another six-ish weeks (which gives us time to cement our memories before we see lots of pictures, which I think is cool) so some stories will probably wait for those pictures.
I know it's not about the pretty stuff…but I'd love that sh*t! And I'd love to see the pretty stuff from someone who knows it's not about the pretty stuff.
August 24, 2009 7:03 am
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De-lurking here!
Though you've already given all of us an incredible amount of advice on how to have a (practical, beautiful, wonderful) wedding, I want to hear your number-one tip. What single piece of advice pulled your wedding into what you wanted it to be? What helped you make it through? Stories as answers are quite appropriate. :) Congratulations again!
August 24, 2009 7:09 am
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Wasn't there some story about a coin in your shoe? I'd like that story, please. And could you tell us one favorite thing that someone said to you at the wedding?
August 24, 2009 7:13 am
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I want to know how you felt before you walked down to meet him.
Even if you talked to him and hung out before, what was it like to stand there before you walked to actually BE married?
August 24, 2009 7:25 am
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Hi! How did you find a quiet time before the ceremony to just sit back and take everything in? My friends and family are all so excited, but I think a minute or two alone will be much needed.
August 24, 2009 7:28 am
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Welcome Home!
What was your favorite random or strange comment or conversation from the day?
August 24, 2009 7:48 am
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I want to know how you felt as you walked down the aisle?? I remember feeling giddy with joy and excitement that this huge day I'd spent so long planning was actually happening, exactly as I planned it except a million times better! And I'd been expecting to cry–all smiles!
Also, I never once went to the bathroom, from the time I left the hotel to the time I got back. People say you don't eat, but no one prepared me for not even thinking about going to the bathroom for about 8 hours! Did you?!?
August 24, 2009 7:49 am
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what was the most meaningful moment?
August 24, 2009 7:59 am
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How long did it take you to take your shoes off? I found some tall shoes that I love, but have a feeling I will kick them off as soon as the ceremony ends.
August 24, 2009 8:08 am
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Thank you for your blog. It has helped me a lot in my planning.
The advice that I keep hearing (like a broken record) is that 'It doesn't matter if something doesn't work out the day of because I am going to be the only one who will know' and that 'I can't control everything'.
I have to admit that I am a perfectionist. If something's not going to be perfect, then I don't want to invest my time in making it. While I honestly don't think I'll have a problem going with the flow the day of and the day before the wedding. What advice would you offer someone who is 3 weeks off from their wedding, who is sweating all of the small stuff?
August 24, 2009 8:24 am
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I'm so happy for you! Did your walk down the aisle seem to take 3 seconds?
August 24, 2009 8:33 am
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welcome back Meg! :)
I'm curious to hear how it felt to hand control over to someone else (or many someones) and just let the day happen. Seven months out and I've already had moments where I've had to let go of the reins and just trust someone else to handle something, and umm it was scary. I'm bad at relinquishing control. you've talked about the importance of "DIT" instead of "DIY" and I'm still struggling with that! I'm sure that you must have been sharing control before the actual day, and I'd love to hear whether it was a struggle for you to transition from DIT to not having a hand in it at all. does this make any sense?
August 24, 2009 8:34 am
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Welcome back, congratulations, and I'm so happy for you and David. From even one photo, the love and joy was apparent.
I'd love to hear your stories everyone else above requested. And, because we're planning a Sunday Jewish park-ish setting dance party too, I'd appreciate a look at moments that captured the sweaty-shirt-dance party aspect on a Sunday afternoon. Mostly I want to know about your joy and how it manifested itself throughout the weekend/day and the spontaneous fun/love/moments you shared with your guests.
August 24, 2009 8:36 am
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I love that you consider your wedding to be only one of many happy days to come. People who claim their wedding was the happiest day of their life five years down the road worry me quite a bit.
August 24, 2009 8:49 am
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I just got married over the weekend – I was in no way expecting it to be a "perfect" day, and of course things did go wrong, however I was completely blown away by how perfect it felt amidst all of its imperfection :)
I would like to hear about any moments you may have had like that, where things may have went wrong and how that affected (or hopefully didn't affect) your overall experience.
Oh, I'm also curious about your appetite the day of – I am a HUGE eater and found myself barely being able to choke down breakfast & skipping lunch altogether on the big day! But man did the wine ever taste good when I finally got to dinner!
Congratulations!
August 24, 2009 8:56 am
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Do you have relatives that have passed away, and how did you honor those people in the ceremony?
xoxo
August 24, 2009 9:01 am
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congratulations Meg. There are so many great questions here that I don't really want to add another one. So just commenting because you asked us to and because I'm such a huge fan of your wonderful blog and want to thank you again and again for sharing your thoughts. You rule!
August 24, 2009 9:10 am
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Welcome Home and Congratulations Meg!
Another Lurker here – I've posted maybe twice, but have read every word, sometimes more than once, and often to my husband-to-be, who is also a big fan of yours.
I'm going to echo Elena, Amy Jo and Anna G – I'd love to see you write about the unexpected hitches, glitches, and things that went "wrong" that together made your wedding perfectly imperfect and uniquely yours.
August 24, 2009 9:35 am
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Welcome back. I agree with your general sentiment completely. I also LOVED it so much on the plane the next day, when the steward said, are you related, and I jumped to say: "We're married, we got married yesterday".
What was your very own moment of really taking it all in?
August 24, 2009 9:46 am
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Oh, I loved this post. Being married is the best. And you took me back to our own nap-filled honeymoon. Yum. And the absent friends bit… aw :)
I would love to hear if there were any particular moments through the day when you thought to yourself "I'm going to remember this."
Welcome home, love :)
August 24, 2009 9:51 am
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Congratulations!!!
I'm curious, did you and your husband see each other before the ceremony? If not or if so, are you glad you did it that way?
August 24, 2009 9:52 am
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Question from a dedicated lurker…
I identify with your dress-finding saga, so I'm curious to know, when all was said and done, did you feel beautiful in your dress? Were you happy with how it turned out?
Mazel Tov!
August 24, 2009 9:56 am
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hiya!! first, a big huge CONGRATULATIONS!! i'm curious about whether you had a wedding planner, and if not, how did you handle making sure things went smoothly while still taking in the day? and did you get overwhelmed at all by all the attention? i worry sometimes that i'll get so overstimulated by seeing all those people i love at once, and it will make it hard to be peaceful and in the moment…
August 24, 2009 10:08 am
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I want to hear about how you two felt part of a community and your community in San Fran on the day of your wedding. Community is an important element throughout your posts. How did that feeling play out on the day? Are you happy that you focused your efforts and money on supporting local businesses? I suppose those are all questions that lead you to the answer we want to hear. :) Still it would be great to bring this journey full circle. Tell us how your goals were met or weren't met. Is there something more you would have liked to have done?
August 24, 2009 10:17 am
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Congratulations, and welcome back!
What moment(s) made you laugh? One of those wonderful, completely joyful laughs.
August 24, 2009 10:18 am
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how was the food? how was the drink? was the dancing good? and for my planning purposes what sorta decorations did you use?
whatever you tell us though, will be appreciated…:)
August 24, 2009 10:25 am
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Not that you need more questions at this point (75 comments already, wow!) but just in case you do. ;) My big general questions: What were the things that went exactly how you expected, and what were the things that went totally differently?
And a more specific question: What was the most spiritual moment? (For me it was stepping under the huppah. We'd had a brief walkthrough right before the ceremony so we'd practiced walking up the aisle and stepping under together and it felt totally normal, but somehow when we did it "for real" during the cermony it was /intense/. It really felt like a sacred space. Did you have a moment like that?)
August 24, 2009 10:28 am
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I think I agree with a lot of the other posters when I say that I want to hear how you felt. Yes, it'll be great to hear about the unexpected things that happened, the things that went well, all those funny details, but we hear those all the time from brides. What we want to know is how if feels to step into the wedding dress. To see the groom for the first time. To say your vows in front of everyone. To leave at the end of the night. Frequently, I think we're in too much of a hurry to talk about the surface details, and then we get caught up in life, and we never get back to those emotions. Which means that those of us with weeks, months, or years to go have no idea what to expect. The experience will be unique for all of us, but hearing your perspective will give us some idea of how we might feel on OUR wedding day.
By the way, congrats!
August 24, 2009 10:52 am
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How do you feel reading all of the comments of love and support from your fellow brides? I can only hope that so many will say such loving words to me when my man and I finally walk down that aisle!
Congratulations Meg! As a bay area bride I especially loved reading your posts as they hit so close to home for me!
August 24, 2009 10:55 am
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I'd love to hear about how everything went- were you happy with the vendors that you hired? And maybe a refresher and how you choose the vendors you did! Anything you would have done different in this department?
August 24, 2009 11:35 am
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Congrats!!
I think some of the best things are lessons learned…
So what went wrong? Did it end up being a memorable thing? Or just a shrug and "oh well!" moment?
August 24, 2009 11:49 am
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welcome back!!
I've been absorbing your posts for about a year, and I'm finally de-lurking. We're just shy of 7 weeks away from our wedding… here are my thoughts:
Was there anything you DIY'd (er, DIT'd) that you wish you hadn't? Or vice versa?
Like others, I'd love to know what kinds of elements you included in your ceremony… and also, how you felt about the length of it. I want to be able to really savor that part of the wedding, but still keep it short and sweet so guests don't feel like it's dragging.
What did you do the night before?
Did you paint your toenails? What color?
What were the first words out of David's mouth when he first saw you that day?
Who had the best dance moves?
August 24, 2009 12:57 pm
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when you close your eyes, take a deep breath and think about that day…what do you see.
OR
how important is lighting, really?
August 24, 2009 1:35 pm
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Lurker chiming in here– Congrats!!
The most overwhelming part to me is the day of– how did you pull everything together?
I'm sure everyone wants to know this, but what are the details you're really happy you with and what do you think you could of lived without?
You had a lot of projects– which ones were your favorite?
August 24, 2009 1:45 pm
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Hi Meg! Welcome back and congratulations! I am a long time lurker as well, getting married in about 10 months. Your blog is hands down my favorite wedding blog, and has helped me stay grounded from the beginning of the wedding planning process. I can't even tell you how much it has helped me stay true to what my fiance and I want.
I've been wondering a lot lately about how to make sure our ceremony stays joyful and yet also focused and meditative in the moment, without too much distraction (we're an interfaith couple having a Jewish ceremony). Did you struggle with this or plan for it as well? How did it turn out?
August 24, 2009 2:03 pm
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Hi Meg,
Welcome back!
I would like to hear about the ceremony; the way you combined traditional elements with parts that were personally significant. Also how many people had an active role in the ceremony, how did you strike the bablance between including significant people and having it look like a recital?
Thanks
August 24, 2009 2:16 pm
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Who (besides your new hubby) said the most meainingful thing to you on your wedding day and what did they say?
August 24, 2009 3:08 pm
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Hiya! another longtime lurker ;-) Congrats and thank you for creating this website — for providing a daily wedding treat!
As for questions, I'm trying to plan out a loose schedule for the day(s) before the wedding and the wedding day. What would really help me is to hear about how you scheduled your own time. Were you overwhelmed by last minute tasks and commitments (eg did you do your own flowers or anything)?
Did you feel relaxed on the morning before the ceremony? (it would be so great to go for a run that day, if there is time!) How did you get ready — with bridesmaids or family, at home or a salon, etc?
How did David feel about the wedding: were there details that he couldn't understand you wanting at first, and did it match his expectations for the day?
August 24, 2009 3:09 pm
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Yet another lurker. I read through RSS as well.
Here are my questions:
1. What do you look back on and think that you could have done without or shouldn't have worried about? (matching china, font on the favor tags, etc)
2. What do you look back on and wish you could have changed or would have done differently? (hired a planner, made programs, preserved your bouquet, etc)
3. What did you think when you saw everyone just before you started down the aisle?
August 24, 2009 3:58 pm
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Such a good point – we're still 6 weeks or so out and the wedding is already starting to feel larger than life. How could you possibly condense all the experiences and feelings into a single post, or even a series of posts? I guess as someone who is attempting to pull off a beautiful but practical wedding in a very short time, I would love to hear what you remember most about the ceremony, reception, and just afterwards – and do you regret setting aside some of the traditions that didn't find their way into your wedding? We've decided to leave out some stuff like the father/daughter dance and cake cutting… and I guess I'm just concerned that I'll look back and regret it. I'd love to hear how that worked out for you!
August 24, 2009 4:51 pm
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Did you get to eat? I always hear all these stories about how the bride and groom never get a bite in edgewise. Always seems a shame, considering how much attention is given to food–and how packed a day it is for you guys!
Just a little silly–but of course practical–question. Congrats!
August 24, 2009 6:25 pm
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I don't think I've ever commented, but your blog has certainly helped me through this process so far- and I couldn't be happier for you now. :)
Please tell us about your ceremony- how did you do it?
explain how you and your Mr. communicated and explored ideas in your process of wedding planning.
Tell us how you spent time together on your day when everyone was around and wanting to see you.
all of it! I can't wait. :)
August 24, 2009 6:29 pm
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Per your request, I'm delurking. :) I see you have a number of comments already and I didn't read them all. I guess I'd like to know what was your most simple happy moment. The moment you didn't plan or think about beforehand. But the moment that was simple in its execution and took your breath away.
August 24, 2009 6:47 pm
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Congratulations!
Please tell us about the moment when you saw your guests having the most fun. I'm hoping my guests will have a blast 2 months from today, but keep feeling like I need to give them something more to bring that out (as if food, drink, and music won't be enough?)
Thank you so much for all your wonderful, inspiring posts.
August 24, 2009 6:48 pm
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Congratulations!!!! I don't have any questions because I know you will share everything I want to hear on your own time :) I just wanted to tell you that I am one more lurker out there who never comments. Hehe. I LOVE reading your posts… they are a breath of fresh air when you compare it to all the crap that is out there. Thank you for breaking all the rules, it really makes me feel like I don't have to do everything exactly the way "they" say.
August 24, 2009 6:58 pm
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Hi Meg, Long-time lurker, first-time poster. I've really enjoyed reading about your wedding preparation and I'd really like to know: now that you've had some time to reflect, which purchases/processes/details do you feel were really worth the effort/cost and which ones do you wish you hadn't done/spent so much time/money on. Thank you, and thank for from the bottom of my heart for your honesty and humour. I so appreciate it.
August 24, 2009 11:55 pm
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Congratulations! Thanks for sharing some of your wedding pictures.
August 25, 2009 1:41 am
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Despite of all the unfortunate things that happen, you still consider the whole event blissful. That’s the spirit of a loving couple.
August 25, 2009 5:15 am
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I’m so happy for you! The hard part is over what’s most important is that you both love each other and nothing can change that. Take care.
August 25, 2009 5:18 am
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First off, mazel tov and warm wishes to both of you!
The thing that first drew me to your blog is that you are one of the very few wedding bloggers I've seen who takes the liturgy and ritual aspects of the wedding as seriously as you take the visuals (and, y'know, you've got some pretty rocking visual sense, too). So I would love to hear more about that–what choices you made trying to reconcile tradition and you-ness, what ended up working best, and the why behind it all.
August 25, 2009 6:21 am
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