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F*ck Subtle

by Meg Keene, Editor-In-Chief

So, if you remember, we were originally going to put some sort of subtle statement in the back of our program about our support for gay marriage. But then as I was writing our program I realized that 1) Subtle was just not my gig. 2) That something worth fighting for is not something you bury in the back of a program. 3) That it was more important to us to signal to our many gay friends that we supported marriage equality, than it was to worry about sensitive feelings.
So. we used this statement in our program, right out where you could see it:

Meg and David believe that marriage is a universal human right, and will continue to fight until the day when each of our LGBTQ friends and loved ones has the same legal rights that we are exercising here today. To continue that fight for justice, we have given a donation to LAMBDA Legal in honor of our marriage.

This is what worked for us. I think what works for each couple is going to be very different, but the important thing is to consider the question.

(Comments off, because I can’t moderate them, and a well, this subject has been known to get heated)

Meg Keene

Meg is the Founder and EIC of APW. Her first book, A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration, was published in January 2012, and has been a top three bestseller on the wedding bookshelf ever since. Meg has her BFA in Drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and son. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit

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  • Lane Ellen

    I’m adding a comment and asking if I can use similar language in my program, if you don’t mind.

    • meg

      Of course!

  • Dragon

    I know this was quite a while ago, but I wanted to thank you for both making the donation and making a strong statement of support in your program.

  • Madge711

    Hi! Again, I know this was a while back, but I have a question: how did y’all decide to donate to LAMBDA vs. other marriage equality organizations? We’re making a similar donation and I was just wondering what made you choose LAMBDA in particular– I of course want our money to make as big of a difference as possible. Thank you!

  • Erica

    “That it was more important to us to signal to our many gay friends that we supported marriage equality, than it was to worry about sensitive feelings.”

    Okay, I know this was AGES ago, but I just found it today, and have to say, as someone planning a (legal, yay!) lesbian wedding, this is what I mean when I talk about allies. Thank you!

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