From day one we knew we were going to DJ our own wedding, mostly because we *could.* As far as we were concerned, ipod’s were a small gift from the wedding gods. Halfway through the planning process though, I started to get nervous about our ipod DJ plan. You see, David and I like to dance, or more precisely we like to daaaaaaaaaaaaannnncccceeee. If you’re playing dancing music, you will not be able to get me off the dance floor. The hora? Hip-hop? The electric slide? I’m there. Heck, I’ll do country line dances, and I’ll lead a dance floor full of people in a funky Macarana if I’m forced into it. So I started to get very concerned, because people said, without a DJ there is no flow, without a DJ there is no energy, without a DJ people will take over your play list, without a DJ you have to work at your own wedding.
In sum: without a DJ, no one will dance. And I believe the technical term for that story is Bullsh*t.
In fact, not only will everyone dance, but you’ll have the playlist for the rest of your lives (we re-lived our wedding a bit on the honeymoon by listening to our mix). But to calm your nerves I’m going to give you my best tips for DJing your own wedding. I’m far from an expert, so feel free to add your best tips in the comments.
- Amplification matters. If I had to pick one thing that makes the difference between a successful ipod dance party, and one that falls flat, it would be this. You need your music to be loud. We paid roughly $300 to rent a professional amplification system that we could run with our computer, and it was worth every penny. Weddings I’ve been to where the music wasn’t quite loud enough, well, I never lost myself in the music. And that’s what you need.
- Cross-fade, cross-fade, cross-fade. You can set up your itunes playlist to do this, and you should. Just like dance parties don’t like quiet music, they don’t like dead air. Also, if the song is endless (I’m looking at you Michael Jackson) feel free to cut out the last 8 minutes of vamping.
- Play music people know. I might be the only wedding blogger in the history of time that has ever admitted this, but David and I are *not* music snobs. David’s tastes run a bit towards more classic stuff, whether it’s jazz or rock. As for me, when it comes to the dance floor, I’m not above Beyonce. And love to dance to some Justin Timberlake, and I’m not even ashamed of that. So our playlist was a mix of Tina Turner, Sir-Mix-Alot, Nina Simone, the Black Eyed Peas, The Beatles, Lauren Hill, Frank Sinatra, House of Pain, and yes, Dolly Parton. And people stayed on the dance floor. You may have much better taste in music than I do. You may listen to bands that don’t even exist yet. But if you load up your playlist with tons of songs people don’t know at all, you’re going to send up with a rousing bar scene, but probably not with a packed dance floor.
- Play a mix of music for all ages. Yeah, you and I might like Arrested Development, but I’m pretty sure your granny likes Billie Holiday singing the standards, so mix it up.
- Think about the flow of your play-list. Cate of Project Subrosa made me think about this pre-wedding, with her talk of building it up, and easing it down, building it up higher, dropping it down, and then building it up into a frenzy right at the end. She was 100% right.
- Have a music guard. Guests don’t get to adjust the playlist, no, no, no. Make someone your music bouncer, and make them tough.
- That said, don’t be afraid to screw with your own playlist mid-stream. YOU can play with the playlist during the wedding. We had more music than we needed, so there were times when we skipped further down the list. We also got to a point in the afternoon where no one over 30 was dancing. You know what I said about mixing it up? Yeah. If you don’t dance, we don’t play Frank Sinatra. At that point in the day we skipped straight to the hip-hop set, and people sweat through their shirts. And let me just cut off the people who say, “See? If you DJ your wedding you have to WORK at your wedding!” We spend about as much time on our playlist as we would have spent chatting to the DJ about requests or timing. We knew our playlist backwards and forwards, and could adjust it with a flick of our fingers.
- And finally, don’t be afraid to pick a few emotional and obscure favorites. We ended our day with this medley Sam Cooke, and that was when I finally let go, tears streaming down my cheeks.
Our friends might not have known the song before our wedding, but they sang with all their hearts in those last moments as they formed a circle around us, which throbbed with some of the most powerful love that I’ve ever felt. And you can’t buy that.
Pictures: First by Emily Takes Photos. Then, our wedding warrior and chief, the fabulous Kate , last byOne Love Photo (yay)
Sam Cooke is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. Not sure how we'll handle the dj bit, but so glad you brought some Sam Cooke into my apartment on this blustery last day of September.
September 30, 2009 6:14 am
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Meg, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this. I am violently tired of seeing people tell couples that they will RUIN their wedding and no one will dance and everyone will be miserable if they try to DJ it themselves with an iPod. That's completely untrue. The key, as you've said, is a really good sound system, one that's going to be loud enough to get everyone on the dance floor.
September 30, 2009 6:28 am
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Any chance you'll share the playlist with your loyal readers?
September 30, 2009 6:58 am
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Our DJ was an MIT grad student, and, as such, was completely affordable, but I still wish I had felt confident enough to be my own Ipod DJ. Good for you- I'm jealous of your playlist!
September 30, 2009 6:58 am
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We'll be using our ipod as our DJ at our wedding next Saturday(actually our computer, iTunes, and DJ quipment) and I've been getting really nervous about it being a disaster. Thanks for the boost of confidence- I really needed this!
September 30, 2009 7:20 am
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Yeah I really don't get the big stink about iPod-ing one's wedding. It's pretty easy and there's no reason it wouldn't work or make people dance or whatevs. We had a friend set ours up and he was a former radio DJ so he was suuuuuper into reading the crowd and enjoyed messing with the playlist accordingly. Zero work on our wedding day. Lots of dancing. I don't get why people are so skeptical!
September 30, 2009 7:26 am
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Woohoo, love this! My fiance and I just finished making our playlist…we're lucky enough to have a friend with access to great sound equipment, and I cannot WAIT to dance like crazy to all the awesome songs that I know are in store :)
September 30, 2009 7:29 am
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It was hard work coming up with more than 10 hours of music and two different feels, one for afternoon tea and one for the evening but it was worth it and I totally recommend Ipod DJing. We played ours on honeymoon too, was great! We also had a space on rsvp cards for song requests which was great, people liked it and then during the day I noticed people saying hey this is our song.
September 30, 2009 7:33 am
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Oh! I forgot to say! There is nothing quite like loving every song played at your wedding. I kept saying, "Oh my god I LOVE this song!" over and over at the wedding. And yeah, of course I did, I'd picked them!
September 30, 2009 7:54 am
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We did it, it was cheap (cheap, hell, it was free!) and whatever hiccups there were I can't even recall.
September 30, 2009 8:15 am
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I'm in the same exact spot: 6 months out and I'm second guessing DJiPod. Thanks for the post and the one from The Flashdance earlier. Inspiring!
September 30, 2009 8:23 am
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As someone who spent money on a band (that we loved), let me tell those who are nervous about an iPod that a great band still does not guarantee that people will dance. They dance based on a number of factors. I noticed that the most people danced when I danced. If the music is loud enough and people know the tune, it really doesn't matter the source.
September 30, 2009 8:38 am
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We're going to use our iPod for music for our wedding, and I must admit I've been more than a little nervous about it! This is exactly what I needed to hear. Now, I'm back to being excited about making our playlist again!
Though, I have one question I'd like to throw out there to Team Practical. My fiance came up with the idea of buying a touchscreen and some jukebox software that allows our guests to request music and then cues the music up to play when it's time for the next song. Any thoughts on this? They'd only be allowed to make requests from the music we've loaded onto the software though, so we don't have to worry about people selecting songs we don't like. We're not shooting for a dance party vibe because my fiance doesn't really dance and I typically need more liquid courage than I plan on consuming on my wedding day to really shake it. We want there to be dancing, for sure, but really are shooting for more of a bar-like atmosphere where people are mixing and mingling and maybe singing along when their favorite song comes on. Thoughts?
September 30, 2009 8:48 am
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I have been going back and forth about this and while I would love to use the ipod DJ, when you factor in the cost of renting a sound system for us a DJ is not that much more expensive – maybe $500 for the night. So I still haven't made up my mind. Thanks for this information though, it definitely helps!
September 30, 2009 8:49 am
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That last picture of your feet while your dancing… your dress and shoes look amazing! Ha, I know that's not what this post was about, but still… looks great!
September 30, 2009 9:01 am
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You know what… I think all the DJs in the world started the rumor that people won't dance if you i-pod your wedding. ;) We're having a band because they're wonderful friends of ours and we LOVE the way they sound. But if we weren't having a band… I totally would be i-poding my wedding!
September 30, 2009 9:02 am
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I searched “Ipod wedding dj” and the first site that popped up was “Why Using An IPOD to DJ Your Wedding is a Horrible Idea.” And…you guessed it…it was written by a professional wedding DJ!!!
October 18, 2011 2:12 pm
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We had an ipod reception and we DID NOT ruin our wedding. It was fantastic. I do agree that you need to rent a QUALITY sound system to supposrt your ipod though, otherwise you do have the potential that it will sound like crap (technically speaking). My friend (musician) manned the speakers and the mic and everyone had a great time. People made requests, dedications, shout outs, and people of all ages were up dancing. Towards the end of the night there was also freestyle rapping. We had Michael Jackson, Fergie, BeeGees, Lipps, Inc, The Electric slide, even a little Pitbull.
A few of our friends brought their own ipods and contributed to the mix. We had our wedding on the river, and the sound carried so well we had wedding crashers. Boats that were passing by would slow down (or stop) to listen, and we had kids on rafts paddle over and show up on the beach. We were the talk of the town for weeks afterwards, and everyone wants my uncle to install speakers permanently in his gazebo on the river. LOL.
I myself was the DJ for about an hour, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It also brought me back to my college radio show co-host days.
Tell all the naysayers to F*ck off, you and your fiance are the onl ones that truly know whats best for YOU.
September 30, 2009 9:02 am
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@Christine – I thought that!
We had a DJ (and a band) because one friend is a DJ and our other friends put a band together and played 7 of our favourite songs. TBH, I can't really remember what the DJ played because we gave him more of a free reign (from a huge list of our favourite bands). It was very good though and people were dancing all night. Earlier in the evening we instructed him what to play during the meal and so on, which was more of an 'ipod play list'.
If we hadn't had friends who could do the music for us, we would have used an ipod.
September 30, 2009 9:08 am
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Oh also, I run to our dancing playlist now. Perfect rhythm for running and I like reliving it in half hour spurts every day (or every other day, ha!).
September 30, 2009 9:08 am
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Preaching to the choir lady – husband djed our wedding and it rocked the house. We chose our restaurant because it had an awesome sound system already and we could have even put in cds of our own music.
My husband set up a freaking wireless network in our restaurant and controlled his laptop with his iphone. It worked beautifully and people were busting a move to hip-hop, salsa, and soul. I'm going to make him blog about it.
September 30, 2009 9:08 am
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@Lindsey
Here are my thoughts (for what they are worth). I think the best options are a really f*cking great DJ, or an ipod (or a band, but that's not one of your options). A mediocre DJ is just the worst (says the girl who's been to more than a few Bar Mitzvahs). So it all depends. If you can get a great DJ in your area for around the cost of renting a sound system, why not? In our very expensive area, I think it would have cost us a few grand to get a DJ I trusted enough to build a playlist without us. But, I'm picky.
Just my two cents.
Meg
September 30, 2009 9:20 am
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For those pondering an Ipod wedding but wonder about the cost of sound equipment vs an actual DJ…check with your venue. Ours had sound equipment (nothing fancy or super professional…but it didn't need to be) and we were able to just plug our laptop into that and it turned out fantastic!!
My husband did put an awful lot of time into picking out and arranging songs and playlists, so you do have to weigh whether your time or money is more important to you, but the end result was much better than any DJ I've ever heard.
September 30, 2009 9:27 am
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just another suggestion – we are also planning on having an iPod wedding, and on our invitations we asked people to request two different songs that they would like to hear at the wedding. We'll use as much as we can, (if they don't work as "dancing music" we can always play it during dinner), and it gave people some sort of input into our playlist since they can't make requests to a DJ. It was awesome to see some of the songs people picked (like my fiance's 65 year old step dad writing 'anything by the black eyed peas')!!!
September 30, 2009 9:43 am
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Hey! You stole my idea! lol.
But yeah, that’s what I’m planning on doing. Makes me so excited to even think about it. I think we’ll get the most eclectic delightful mix of music. I think I’ll ask for two to three or something, and tell them that of course me and my guy have veto power. I also will have a few restrictions based on our taste.
Then I actually plan on including a sort of menu of songs in my program, and next to each song have the person or persons who suggested it. So all the guests are like included! :)
September 1, 2010 11:56 am
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Just listened to part of our wedding playlist on our one-year anniversary, dancing at a campsite under the stars, one earbud apiece. We really did the ipod thing to save money and get to pick all the songs; the relistening moments have been an unexpected perk!
September 30, 2009 10:01 am
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Thank you so much for this post. I am really tired of hearing that using an ipod will ruin your wedding. Our venue has a sound system already, so it works perfectly for us. I plan on setting up some very carefully thought out playlists for dinner and dancing. I will also ask for requests of the guests on my wedding website. I'm excited to have control over the music that gets played at my own wedding. I've never really been fond of DJ's anyway.
September 30, 2009 10:03 am
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quit making me cry!!! beauty about people around you for your *last* dance.
September 30, 2009 10:12 am
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we ended up cutting an hour of music from our playlist, less than five minutes before we started dancing.
which was good, because i didn't haev enough time for all that music. it was also good the music because very in the moment. and it was all alright.
September 30, 2009 10:23 am
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Thank you! Thank you! So far I've been planning to go the ipod dj route, but I have since been considering hiring a DJ because I get concerned about the flow. You have given me new faith in the Ipod DJ.
September 30, 2009 11:15 am
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i don't think an ipod will ever come close to a performance by a real dj, just like a filter will never make a bad photograph good. that said, i have danced my face off to an ipod with my friends and i am REALLY snobby about music! if you know what you like, and KNOW that your friends and family will like it too (esp if everyone is like you meg!) then it shouldn't be too hard to do. Butttttttttt most people do not know what people actually want to dance to. there is nothing quite as good as being surprised or caught off guard by the right song at the right moment, likewise there is nothing quite as bad as the wrong song at the right moment!
September 30, 2009 11:23 am
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Need another reason? You could have a family like mine where no matter the begging and pleading I did NO ONE danced except my 4 year old cousins ("NOOOO, look at all the people here." is the excuse I heard a lot). So our "dance" music became background music and the husband and I danced alone to Paul Anka's version of Smells like Teen Spirit. It was a blast and one of the greatest memories of the day. But you better believe that in the car afterwords we both were like, "Thank GOD we didn't waste $$ on a DJ."
September 30, 2009 11:26 am
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Let's see this playlist! Sounds cool! I thought I was the only one who still rocked out to Mr. Wendell!
September 30, 2009 11:31 am
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@TheFlashdance
Oh good, I was waiting for you to weigh in. I'm type A. I'm not going to lie about taking notes on songs I liked to dance to for a full year before the wedding. Also, the fact that I will dance my face off with almost no provocation helps. If the bride is tearing it up, it's hard for people not to dance.
Also, we INSTRUCTED all of our friends that their key responsibility was to rush the dance floor. And they did.
September 30, 2009 11:36 am
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We didn't do dancing but we do love music and every part of our day had a soundtrack. Every part of that soundtrack came from an ipod and it was fantastic. I've never understood why it would be anything BUT fantastic using an ipod and who would be as much of an arse as to meddle with the ipod at someone else's wedding??
September 30, 2009 11:44 am
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We thought about just using an ipod for the same reasons you did. We've been to self-DJ'd weddings that didn't turn out so well, and those that were great, so ya just never know. But, we ended up using a DJ because renting an amplification system around here was almost as expensive as the DJ we found. The DJ who is willing to play the ipod playlists we give him for the cocktail hour and dinner since we had very specific songs in mind for those, along with taking our very lengthy request and do not play lists for the rest of the night. We'll see how it goes in a few days! : )
September 30, 2009 12:55 pm
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Oh that first picture…! And that dress… And those shoes… You're killing me.
September 30, 2009 1:03 pm
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i haven't really checked in much since my wedding in february but wouldn't you know it, i do today and you still make me cry every time. here i thought i was done being inspired and then you remind me of how f-ing special those moments were at my wedding. it was perfect. ladies, do what you want. it will be awesome! because if you're here, your heart is in it. just live the moment and leave the rest…to love.
September 30, 2009 2:55 pm
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Hi Meg! Thanks for this post! Good tips, especially on the fade out! We are DJing our own music with an iPod and have a friend who has the whole sound system, so although it's taken more time putting playlists together..it's been fun and we hope to boogie the night away next Saturday!
September 30, 2009 2:59 pm
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oops, how did that happen..I didn't want to be anonymous! P.S. we also did song requests on our RSVP cards, we wanted to include everyone's song requests, even country!
September 30, 2009 3:04 pm
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Very good post.
Are there DJ's who are willing to play the exact songs you want in the exact order you want them? In other words, it would be my playlist, but with a DJ executing it.
People talk as if that could never happen.
September 30, 2009 3:19 pm
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It's funny, I'm not all that concerned with everyone dancing as I am about having lovely, soft music to shuffle to while in the arms of my new husband. I think that the dancing will be left for the afterparty when I'm in a short dress and drinking cheap cocktails!
Thank you so much for these re-caps Meg, you always make me choke up a little which means I still have a heart!
September 30, 2009 3:23 pm
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We hired a band for half the reception and iPodded the rest, and it was great. And I second the other people who point out that if the bride dances, so does everyone else. I was never alone out there. Having cute kids tearing it up on the dance floor didn't hurt either!
September 30, 2009 3:29 pm
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@Allison
Oh, honey, these aren't recaps, these are just facts. If you're choking up now, just wait till we talk about the wedding ;)
September 30, 2009 3:40 pm
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we are using an ipod as well for the music. we are working on our playlist which will have music for each age group and tons of dance stuff. one of my good friends will act as emcee/dj so we don't have to worry about the music or flow. this post couldn't have come at a better time.
and i will say again, the bottom of your dress looks so beautiful and spinny that i can't wait for the unveiling of the whole dress! :)
September 30, 2009 5:44 pm
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those shoes *are* perfect.
September 30, 2009 6:13 pm
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we used an ipod to dj our outdoor wedding this August and it was a serious hit! Our soundsystem was super loud and totally did the trick but we only paid about 40$ for a standard PA and two huge speakers from our local music store.
September 30, 2009 6:18 pm
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Yes yes yes yes yes! And thanks for making me feel good about not being a music snob! We did our own iPod, downloaded the Billboard Top 100 from 1950-today and picked all the best ones that people would know and IT. WAS. AWESOME. When you have conservative Texans dancing their socks off next to your sweaty anarchist friends (to Mariah Carey, no less) you know you've done something right.
September 30, 2009 6:42 pm
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Thank you Meg – That Sam Cooke song is SO good. We are planning on playing Ipod DJ's at our wedding and these tips are great.
LOVE your blog so much. Thanks for being normal!!
September 30, 2009 8:23 pm
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I guess this is one great idea of using an Ipod for the wedding.
October 1, 2009 1:06 am
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I am overjoyed that you posted this.
I'm overjoyed that you have a blog.
You make planning my wedding so much easier.
October 1, 2009 5:11 pm
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Thank you for this post! We are doing the iPod DJ thing and this is a great reference. I am totally marking this for later when we actually build our playlist (although I'm already dropping songs I like into a playlist marked wedding!).
We have a friend who's an out of work DJ (his boss, who owned all the equipment moved out of state) and he will be our DJ bouncer and take care of any other music issues.
Totally saving this post for later!
October 1, 2009 8:40 pm
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