I have a memory that is etched in my mind. After all the women's liberation talk in the 1970's, I remember the moment when I knew that society had really shifted for real.

It was 1980 and I was 22 years old reading an article in a magazine about women's choices. They profiled various women of different ages and photographed them.

One of the photos was of a beautiful young mother looking down at her very small infant. The mother had just graduated from law school and was about to begin working as an attorney. She was quoted as saying — "I just hope she doesn't cry at night so I can get some sleep before work."

For you younger women, that might sound like a reasonable comment. But there is no way I can express the impact of her words back then. At 22, I had NEVER heard that expectation expressed about a baby before.

I remember thinking – "Wow, I guess a baby isn't allowed to be a baby anymore. They have to cry on schedule now."

It still haunts me. Looking back, it seems like starting in the 1980's, we entered the "Land of Unreality" where everything was just supposed to work out and it was SUPPOSED to be easy.

And why not? We'd never done it before so we were very optimistic. The Enjolie purfume commercial of those days expressed it very well when the lady sang – "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never never let you forget you're a man. Cause I'm a woman. Enjolie!"

I think nowadays people are just beginning to get more realistic. LOL

Jane,

Anon here again.

To some extent pre-school is the hardest part. But don't underestimate school-age homework.

My sister divorced when her daughter was five. I remember her talking about coming home from work and spending literally HOURS every night on homework. Her school gave so much of it. And the other parent couldn't even help because they were divorced.

What about babies? Consider breastfeeding – we all know it's better, but did you know it takes NINE MONTHS of breastfeeding to develop a child's maximum visual acuity? Forumula can't do that. I actually remember when scientists discovered that fact, but it's not well known.

How many women can go to work and still breastfeed? It takes time and privacy. There was a headline recently about a working mother who was fired because she needed to pump breast milk and it could not be confined to the designated breaks on her job without her being in misery. She went to court and lost.

It used to take my sister 45 minutes to an hour for a single session of breastfeeding her baby. Multiply that by several times a day.

Nature itself doesn't seem to notice work constraints.

Just saying.

I see all the gritty parts coming up ahead, just as you described, and sometimes it seems daunting! All those years of sleep-deprivation. But it also seems like the hardest part is before the children are in school.

@Meg, that sucks that people are being mean on here. I have to admit that I am curious what they are saying, though…just wondering what kind of perspectives are out there.