One of the things that my partner (male) and I (female) have done to make it a little more equal and less traditionally defined, is we’re both going to be gaining a wifey when we get married. I don’t want a husband — I WANT someone to clean, and cook, and take care of me. And so does he. :-P Because we share these duties anyway, we’ll share the title. I mean, what is husband except a reference to the fact that the man kept the livestock? We don’t currently have animals, but if we did, it’d be because I’m the one pushing for dairy goats and chickens!

So, when we’re being all cutesy and cuddly, he’ll look at me and go “you’re going to be my WIFE!” and I’ll exclaim and “and you’re going to be MY wife!” And we’ll kiss and it’s awesome. I think that we should have that engraved on our rings, but then I’d have to explain to our families why it’s there and I like it being a secret joke.

Anyway, I loved this post so much because let’s face it, I kind of have some issues with the word “wife.” The fact that I am even getting married so soon (at the age of 25) has sent shock waves through my family and friends. There so many things that I wanted to do before I took on that loaded word, “wife.” I wanted to travel across the world, get my masters degree, find a full time job that inspires and motivates me, and live on my own.

Needless to say, by the time I am married I will not have attained most of those things because a) I don’t have the money for the travel b) realized that what I went to school for may not be what I want to do now or for the rest of my life, c) am working at a job that really goes against much of who I am just to make ends meet and d) Dave and I already live (quite happily) together. It wasn’t too long ago that I realized, “who cares about any of that? You are in love with a man who is good to you, loves you for everything you are, and who inspires you to reach all those goals that you long since buried within you because you thought they were impossible. Why not reach them with him? You can still be an independent, strong woman with independent dreams and goals while still being considered a ‘wife.’”

While reading this post all I could think of was “Amen, sister!” Thank you so much for writing this and keeping this blog after you’ve married. You’re inspiring and your words are so incredibly helpful. Thank you again.

P.S. you did have an amazing beautiful wedding!

Of course when I talk about marriage and my dear hubby in my blog it’s intended to be sarcastic humor and my post about this very topic shows the “male version” of “sharing” chores… but I digress.

http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/when-two-becomes-too/

Just wanted to say as another independent married woman who knows there’s more to life than nesting.. great post!!

'Newly Married, In Search of a Style': http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/03/garden/03cheap.html?_r=1&ref;=garden

Style and design? Check.
Real estate? Check.
Wedding planning? Check.
Budget? Check.
Throw pillows? Check!