Comments on: Classic APW: Please define elopement. And use it in a sentence.

By: As a woman - Liv Lundelius - Jane Wayne

As a woman - Liv Lundelius - Jane Wayne — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:58:56 +0000

[...] via a practical wedding As a woman I have no country. As a woman I want no country. As a woman, my country is the whole [...]

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 10:45:33 +0000

I think the "princess for a day" concept does have a small fact that traditionally (as in way in the past) you were going to belong to your husband and were his "house wife". Wives let themselves go, serve others, brides get to shine and be the center of attention.

Now - I think it's just become such a social norm that brides get to be the center of attention and get whatever they want - so a lot of girls run with it. "It won't be looked down on if I ask for the world for this one day... it's EXPECTED... so I may as well roll with it and play princess for a day and live out my Disney fantasy"

That being said - my friend had a dream the other night she was on the way to her wedding and got punched in the face by a stranger. (odd, yes - she's not engaged) She tried to look up what it meant in a dream dictionary - this led us to find that apparently if you have a dream where someone else is in a wedding dress it means you feel inferior. How absurd! What amazing social commentary that a dream book says if someone else is the bride that they are better.
My friend and I both agreed that though absurd, it actually probably isn't too off for those some girls whose life goal is to get married and be a pretty, pretty princess.

@Allison/ATJ
hahaha I never thought of the open heart pendant as balls.. I always thought it looked like a snake when it's in diamond... hilarious! Now I will have a NEW reason to laugh at the commercials!

-Leila

By: lisa

lisa — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 04:48:40 +0000

Hmmm, Here's my thought.
Ok, so as women we are taught that our wedding should be "magical" in the most Disney sense of the word. And this is our only time for this kind of magic, URGENT URGENT. So weddings get stuck with all this pseudo-pageantry to make our own loves specialness big enough to be caught on camera ("First glance pictures": two chances to try to catch the groom crying because he loves you).

And the thing is that he really does love you. I guess what bothers me most about this kind of thing is that it's trying to commodify these personal moments into something more to buy, or something else to pose for. And teaches women that their own three-dimensional in-real-time love isn't "magical" enough.

By: Marie

Marie — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:30:49 +0000

Meg I think part of the problem is that whole...now you'll be a mom and a wife and your whole life will be dedicated to others and you'll loose your figure blah blah blah (Clearly these statements miss the sassy, sexy, independent moms and wives).

I think another MAJOR problem is the princess complex. Many of the women getting married today were part of the first wave of the "princess generation". SO much crap telling little girls she is entitled to anything she wants and that one day she will be swept off her feet by her knight in shining armor and that day should be as close to a palatial ball as possible.

IF you've been conditioned to believe you're a princes and your worth is tied up on how "grand" your wedding is and that this one day is a measure of your worth/love/life...then are we surprised when many women turn into divas?

By: Two Chicks Nest

Two Chicks Nest — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:29:55 +0000

Ooh, interesting point, Meg! I think you may be on to something. I also think there is some sort of little girl/ grown up woman dichotomy happening. Maybe it's a throw back to when women were routinely passed from fathers to husbands at age 20. I need to think about this more.

By: Meg

Meg — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:06:19 +0000

@twochicksnest
Do you think part of that comes from this idea that "it's all downhill from there"? Because I think this is maybe part of the cultural noise that tells us that wives and moms tend to "let themselves go" and "put themselves last."

By: Two Chicks Nest

Two Chicks Nest — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:44:03 +0000

I think some of this stuff (multiple outfit changes, photos up the wazoo, etc) stems from some idea of "I deserve this because I am a BRIDE!" Like as a grown woman you have to save up to get spoiled rotten when you get hitched and then, dammit, you should get everything your heart desires because it's your big day.

By: Allison

Allison — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:51:07 +0000

@allthingsjuice please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks the "open heart pendant" kind of looks like balls?

I'm sorry but I live in the Napa Valley and I would definetly NOT spend that much to "elope" when we have the amazing SF City Hall just 35 minutes away!

By: Meg

Meg — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:10:24 +0000

@Emily
No, he hasn't seen the wedding dress either, but you don't want him to see it till you walk down the aisle so you wear ANOTHER wedding dress to take first glance pictures. And presumably a third reception dress. Nuts!

By: Officially Mrs.

Officially Mrs. — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:10:07 +0000

My sweetie and I are eloping – but really eloping, in the traditional sense! We haven't told anyone. The vacation we are taking was already planned, so we just thought why not do it there? And, wait for it wait for it – It is free! So total cost of my wedding = my dress and his suit (together we spent around $500) and a photographer. Pictures are important to us. But, we are spending a fraction of what most wedding photographers cost. 10 grand to "elope" is ridiculous! And taking you fam and friends is not eloping.

First glance dress? Crazy!
Boudoir photos? Ok, Ok, I succumbed to this one. (don't judge, lol)