yesterday i was at the doctor (read: yearly woman's check-up), and they were telling me that i should really get the HPV vaccine (Gardasil) because it's only approved for ages 19-26, and i'm 25. also b/c i did have an emergence of HPV a few years ago, and i had to have surgery as a result of it (*note that HPV is something *anyone* can get from having protected or unprotected sex).. some people just are more sensitive to it than others. anyway, they were kind of like, if you weren't getting married this year, i would DEFINITELY say you should get it. but even still, you should get it anyway, "because you never know…"

the key take-away meaning from this is that the only way that i could get another strand of HPV again is either if i cheated on my fiance, or if my fiance cheated on me. in the midst of engagement and wedding planning, and all the happy thoughts you're supposed to have about spending a life together, i can't say that the little voice in the back of your head never ever pops up, saying things like, what if you grow apart? what if he cheats on you? and here it was, coming right at me from the face of a well-meaning doctor. after some internal deliberation, i got the vaccine… and promptly ran out to my car and cried. because even though i know they meant well, and it's just supposed to be a preventative measure, basically i'm covering my ass in case my fiance decides to sleep with someone else. so that i won't have to get surgery again because of that. it all seemed very depressed and very unfair to be a woman at that moment in time.