Comments on: Web Round Up: So Much Goodness

By: the un-bride

the un-bride — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:35:35 +0000

Gosh, I've missed reading your blog. (My exile was self-imposed, but still …) Thank you SO much for all of the amazing things in this post.

By: Mrs T

Mrs T — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:23:08 +0000

Going to check out those links now. I do so admire the Obama marriage too.

By: Meg

Meg — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:26:54 +0000

Yes, totally hard. I was probably influenced a bit by the fact that I've read his book, which delves far deeper into the "Michelle almost left my ass" bit. But I think most marriages are that hard at some point, and I like hearing about it. I also like hearing about the compromise of ambition. David and I are both too ambitious for our own good…

By: firefliescottonwood

firefliescottonwood — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:38:11 +0000

Love so much in this post. Totally agree on "Ms. ," particularly as it was championed as the counterpoint to "Mr." One doesn't have to ask, wonder, or care the relationship status of a gentleman.

Love the Prop 8 handout. At our wedding, instead of a guest book, guests will sign a letter to the Congresspeople of the State of Missouri, where we are marrying.

On the Obamas, though-- I had a different feeling, and I am totally gaga in love with them. I was a little sad that he's been so absent-- didn't the article mention that for at least a decade now, he hasn't been consistently home? And there is a reluctance on her part-- at least initially-- that she also will share this ambition that makes their marriage so difficult to navigate.

Yes, marriage is hard, and I am so pleased that they are articulate about it-- but part of me hates that she had to give up her career (even willingly!) and is doing so much alone (willingly, okay!). For me, this does not an ideal marriage make.

By: accordionsandlace

accordionsandlace — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:06:21 +0000

The Moreno decision is, indeed, an incredible read, and handing it out is an awesome idea. Yay for creative ways of talking about equality.

By: The Sapphic Housewife

The Sapphic Housewife — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:41:20 +0000

I've been following Moreno's decisions for a while, and kind of became a groupie during Prop 8/Day of Decision. The dissenting decision idea is beautiful.

My partner is considering changing her last name to mine because she likes it. But she really doesn't want to be Mrs. She's joked about how she's going to get herself a doctorate just to avoid it.

By: Mouse

Mouse — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:45:35 +0000

Yes! The CHOICE!

Although I also like that idea in the article of just calling everybody the "bucolic" MIZ and having done with it. Still an honorific, by the way. In the South, you just call everybody Miz Whatever, married or not. A great equalizer, and in every case, a show of respect.

By: Meg

Meg — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:45:05 +0000

@A
But it can go either way. The last wedding I went to, they introduced them as "The new married couple Lady herlastname and Gent hislastname" and we all cheered. The point is A) being married and B) having the right to choose how you are addressed.

Name change and honorifics has typically been a touchy subject here, and threads have been closed down because of it. I wanted to share the link, but was actually worried about doing it.

So. Suffice to say, some of you changed your name and use Mrs.. and like it (great). And some of us are offended when addressed that way, since it directly contradicts our express wishes (also great). We're just as married.

The point is that each choice should be respected, and no one should make us feel like "hey, we shouldn't care, we shouldn't correct people. It's a beautiful emotional thing" or "hey you're not a feminist if you go by Mrs. You're dragging us all down." Nope. We choose, and then that choice gets respected. And that is really what's important.

By: April

April — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:26:56 +0000

I'm probably missing the point of the "Ms. vs Mrs." comment, but I feel I must say that when our wedding officiant announced me and my husband as "The New Mr. and Mrs.!" and our guests leapt to their feet with thunderous applause and cheers, the last thing on my mind was correcting anyone. I loved it. Still do.

Beautiful wedding featured in today's post (LOVE the flowers), and I'm looking forward to reading the Obama article. Thanks, Meg!

By: Lyssachelle

Lyssachelle — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:37:19 +0000

Thank you for posting this, I was already a little bit in love with the First Couple and this just cinched it.

And you know what's terrible? I'd read about this article on another blog, but they focused on the president's Indonesian ring part of the article, so I had no idea how in-depth and interesting it was. And how terrible is that, that whole article and the RING is what you focus in on? THAT is truly wedding obsessed and spells out problems….