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Speechless.


by Meg Keene, Editor-In-Chief

Speechless. | A Practical Wedding

Um. I’m not even sure if I should file this under “F*cked up things about weddings,” or “Reclaiming Wife,” or “This is why we still need feminism,” or f*cking WHAT. But click through, won’t you? Seriously.

And this wasn’t even in a wedding magazine. There I was paging through a women’s magazine, and I literally froze, jaw open. Whhhaaaaaaaa? Really?

Apparently yes. Really.

Meg Keene

Meg is the Founder and EIC of APW. Her first book, A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration, was published in January 2012, and has been a top three bestseller on the wedding bookshelf ever since. Meg has her BFA in Drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and son. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11784946794675621661 Kaki

    Dis-gus-ting. Yeah, you can tell quite a bit from my left hand, particularly when only my middle finger is extended in your face, WIC!

  • http://twigl.tumblr.com becky

    OPT. OUT. Whoever is judging me by my hands is missing out on a whole lot. Thank god there's more to me than my f*ing jewelry.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13424616103795706999 LindsFM

    Who do they test these ads on?!?!?! Oh, wait, I know. Other men. If they test them on women, I just don't even know what I would say to those women. Seriously.

  • nas

    sexist to the extreme..!
    that being said, the line 'u can tell a lot about a womon by looking at her hands' has quite a bit of truth to it – u can tell whether she does a lot of manual work, her general age, how much emphasis she places on personal grooming..etc even minus any jewellery..just a note – i still agree it's a ridiculously douchey ad that the company shoots itself in the foot w/, as far as i'm concerned..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18209861350905135093 LPC

    Oh dear. And yet I have in no way been immune. In no way. It can really hit you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13492554838110827379 Wifey Wiferson

    Especially when she's wearing brass knuckles.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06939655050839177513 thehickbride

    Seriously? What is wrong with people!!! My jewelry does not tell anyone who I am, what I am or anything about me! It says she's taken and in love. That's it! A$$holes.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12997875522614810785 Mouse

    What, you didn't know that women are totally without worth unless they're married?

    Ha ha ha.
    And argh.

  • http://www.littlebirdbakery.ca Alison

    This is why I get so angry when I see diamond commercials that basically say "If you don't get her diamonds, you don't really love her."

    Really? Because I have a plain titanium wedding band. And I picked it out. Because I didn't want diamonds in my wedding band – the less than half carat on my engagement ring is almost too much for me! So I guess that means I'm in a loveless marriage? I don't f-ing think so!

    I'd be much happier to get a thoughtful gift any day of the week over "the commercial said that diamonds are what I should get so I will go and blindly pick something shiny out without putting any thought into it".. yeah.. that really says "love".

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10090629009923888969 Nicole

    ewwwwwwwwwww

  • fleda

    This is part of why I didn't want an engagement ring.

    I still love to shock the haters: sometimes when I tell people I'm engaged, they look at my hand and say, "but where's your ring!?," and I say (truthfully), "I didn't want one, because I just don't like wearing jewelry." And then (sometimes) they give me a grim, pinchy look of suspicion/disapproval.

    I am really amused by the way the rings in this add look so much like handcuffs. Was that intentional irony or what?

  • liana

    I am so happy that other people out there feel the same and that makes me even more happier with my simple ring.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10492742369183661449 Katherine

    If you go to their web site, there is another similar frame that has a giant diamond ring with a tag that says "I'm much cheaper than a therapist."
    WTF

  • vanessa

    I noticed also the almost non-existant logo of the Lili Claire foundation & googled it. Apparently they are "helping children with neurogenetic conditions, while providing hope & resources to the families who love them" If Simon G. really wanted to be effective in advertising they may want to make the fact that they contribute to that foundation the focus on the add, not that stupid quote.

  • vanessa

    @ Katherine, WTF is that supposed to mean. ridiculous.

  • http://majorminutiae.wordpress.com/ Minutiae

    You can tell a lot about a man by looking at his ad.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12871260113966226579 Melissa

    I've seen these Simon G ads a lot…typically in InStyle and I think even in Real Simple. They're atrocious, telling women that if they were REALLY worth something, their boyfriends/fiances/husbands would buy them shiny pieces of carbon.

    Barf. Barf. Barf. Almost as bad as the Robinson Diamonds billboards I see in Philly.

  • http://galfromawayweds.wordpress.com/ GalFromAway

    That's completely brutal. I cannot respect a company that uses catchphrases like that. :P

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14024629745837124042 Mary

    The one that Brandy posted is, if possible, even worse, by far. "Virtually eliminates cheating, since you'll never want to take it off." *RALPH* Ugggh. Because yes, this ring, this sign of possession, is the only thing keeping my morals in check. Hot damn, Simon G, you've figured me out.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06395803606683052002 Giovanna

    um. i think i just vomited a little in my mouth.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13603656839270996091 buhdoop

    Ridiculous.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07745327040069845630 Sarah K.

    Oh, my god. From the other ads that APW readers have posted, this company is disgusting. Absolutely horrific. I don't know who did their PR, but they should be fired, immediately. Nnngh.

    The initial ad, though, about how you can "tell a lot from a woman", reminds me of the whole "right hand ring" phenomena. Your left hand is for your wedding ring and belongs to your man! Your right hand, however, is where you can EXPRESS yourself! So do it with gaudy diamonds!!

    Ugh. My college ring goes on my right hand, thank you, and it doesn't have any stones, let alone a diamond, and tells you a helluva lot more about me than some giant, impersonal "right hand" monstrosity that the diamond industry tells me "expresses myself". Let me choose for myself what I wear my hands, thanks.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13603656839270996091 buhdoop

    @Brandy

    I just looked at that link, so disgusting. What is wrong with these people?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03209113339750185034 nina@mount pleasant wedding

    So sad.

  • Anonymous

    This is from last year, but still hilarious (and sad).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzLWn3xTGL4

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05098729708314853961 MWK

    Gross. Gross. Gross. Thanks for my Monday morning "yes you should still work your ass off for what you believe in" finals-time pick-me-up – Rage can be such a motivator!

  • MrsGray

    Um. Wow. I am flabbergasted at the cynicism in these ads. Really?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13811559996670448379 Emily Takes Photos

    I'm kind of laughing my ass off; thanks ladies, this was a good read! But seriously, these ads are the kind of crap that make me have to explain my non-diamond ring to others over and over again. Sheesh.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13054635938685681935 Karen

    When people commented upon my irish-friendship-band engagement ring and said things like "are you going to get a ring?", I liked to say things like, "well, since most diamonds are harvested by child slaves from civil-war torn African countries, I would really rather have this." Got 'em every time.

  • Julianna

    As vomit-worthy as all of these ads are… I'm still too flabbergasted at the ad I saw for a new TV show "Four Weddings" where four brides compete, yes, *compete* and judge *each others* weddings. why? why???

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12739115288008303578 Beth D

    What my hands say about me: I work in a lab and wash my hands often, as evidenced by the cracks and severe dryness, and are always covered with slide stain.

    But that's what you should tell from her hands. Not how much money someone was willing to drop on her.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14757441474371776203 {The Perfect Palette}

    lol. this is hilarious. this ad sucks. just saying.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13971531846772101992 Encore Bride

    Wow, did we just go back to the 1800's when we walked 3 steps behind men, took his name because our last name wasn't worthy…don't get me started on that one! Shame on Simon G.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08100076303463436866 ablogofherown.wordpress.com

    Sigh.
    It's so sad that there's this strange belief that as soon as a strong, intelligent woman gets engaged her head is full of cotton candy and she biologically is drawn to "bling" and pastels.

    Also, the whole "taken" thing really irks me. I'm not taken by anyone. I am engaged. To my fiance. Who is engaged to me.
    Thus, he has his own engagement ring. :-)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06871451102521214705 Rachel

    i also love (and by love i mean 'want to punch something') the current Kay Jewlers ad on TV of the couple in the cabin during the storm… thunder claps, and she jumps into her husband's arms, which are, of course, waiting for her with a diamond necklace.
    Because, as women, we are of course afraid of thunderstorms! And we need our big strong men to protect us!

    i feel it also bears adding to the conversation, that a woman should NOT feel guilty if she decides that she would like to have a bit of "bling" in her ring. Some ladies really dig diamonds. if that's your thing, more power. I chose a lovely 1ct lab-created diamond that i love and get many compliments on (and it also didn't cost us the GDP of a small nation). just sayin.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02567097973987043341 Lauren

    Anon, I have tears rolling down my face from laughter at that youtube video. At work, which is totally inappropriate. Just like Simon G's ads.

  • http://www.shinyprettybits.com kc

    The comments here alone have made my morning!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06985820953743653787 Ms. Bunny

    Vomit.

    Ha, I'd like to hear what someone is thinking when they see my hand and judge me by what's on it. Wait, is that an engagement ring? Can't be, there's no diamond. But it's on the "ring" finger. Puzzled look.

  • Sara

    Well, at least they offer options for people who aren't in relationships. I think it's at least as bad as the others, maybe worse.

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_lEufC1mg04s/Spgogv4zYrI/AAAAAAAAA2Q/hD680FKQrdE/s400/Picture+8.png

    Apparently these people: http://blog.emsardesign.com/2009/08/new-simon-g-jewelry-web-site.html
    are claiming responsibility. I wouldn't if I were them…

    If you go to the simon g site there are several. I think the worst is the one about marriage is about compromise but you can postpone that until after the wedding. If I said something like that (and meant it), my FH would be gone.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00388295799913646592 “T-Bone” Lee

    while I totally love this blog and agree with the sentiment that you don't need a ring to be engaged and it doesn't have to be a diamond and it doesn't have to be huge and I also get angry at ads like this….I always find at least one or two comments that make me feel guilty for having and loving my diamond ring.

    Not having a big flashy diamond ring or a ring at all doesn't make you less of a fiance or a woman or a wife…but to be fair..having a ring or even a diamond ring doesn't make you a self absorbed rich WASP who doesn't care about the world.

    Damn our inability to comment on one aspect of the WIC without making sweeping generalizations that make certain women feel bad about themselves. Such a tricky tightrope to walk.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15102193924484233803 courtney

    Oh God. These are horrible!

    And the "virtually eliminates cheating" one that Brandy posted? Seriously? 'cause I thought the vows I made promised the whole "no cheating thing," not my ring.

    ugh.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03429404210444847213 lauren

    meg, you're familiar with rasputina's (hella excellent) "diamond mind," right? it's an marvelous palate cleanser for ring-related drama. actually, it's just marvelous in general.

  • Anonymous

    @rachel, where did you get your ring? My boyfriend and I have just started talking about engagement rings, and I am definitely interested in a man-made diamond, but the internet research I have done has just confused me.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01824602565529617602 Jenhu

    Maybe we should all express our disgust with how their ads view women and how we love by commenting on that emsardesign website?

    http://blog.emsardesign.com/2009/08/new-simon-g-jewelry-web-site.html

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01345111249901954561 Crystal

    Wow… that's just hideous. I love a sparkly (and wear my antique diamond engagement ring proudly), but that whole series of ads is patently offensive.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03935793403239182466 A.Mountain.Bride

    goosebumps.

    in a bad way.

  • Anonymous

    @T-Bone-Thank you so much for saying this. I feel like such a rarity in that I wear an engagement ring I did not help pick out. My ring was a gift from my now fiance, he picked it out himself and it is a solidly sized diamond. It doesn't negate the fact that he's as much of a feminist as I am, that we both think it's insane to spend huge amounts of money on a wedding, or that the important part is the marriage-not the wedding.

    Even knowing that it's really only his and my business, it is frustrating to be judged by people who like to ride high on the "don't judge me" horse-and I agree it's a tight line to walk.

    I think advertising in general is obnoxious (ugh-Hardees commercials make me gag…still can't wrap my head around degrading women to sell fast food), and agree that if someone judges me by my jewelry (or lack thereof), they're totally missing the point.

  • http://www.wedcheaper.com Anonymous

    I like that your blog has an attitude!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17030301235627261202 k

    we decided to opt out and go for wood rings. (not to say that diamonds are not pretty!) but we love that our rings are something we designed ourselves, were way more affordable, and came from something that was, at one time, alive.

    just a plug – the craftsman who made ours was awesome to work with: simplywoodrings.com.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04557659602027423006 Lindsay

    I just puked in my mouth.

    Have you heard of this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJsQcnB6GC0

    Though, I'm not sure how I feel about the "Ms. Taken" ring.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02102760384827085493 Harmony

    The sad thing is that when I saw the small version and couldn’t read the add I was captivated by the beauty of the photography, how it made the ring, something I wouldn't normally even consider for myself, seem so beautiful to me. It was impressive and a very well done ad…until I enlarged it and read the caption. That made my stomach turn. And the others are indeed worse. I am not against the women who love jewelry, to each their own, but we are well past the time when we need our man to buy us something and even more we are not what we buy. Our worth is far more than what is on our hand. I, for one, refused to let my fiancĂŠ buy me a diamond for my ring, but that was my choice based on my beliefs. Thanks for sharing this.

  • Ellie

    ick.

  • Brandy

    And this one is even worse…..I saw it in one of the bridal mags a few months ago. I was so astounded that I had to show my betrothed.

    http://robbinsbros.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/simonginstyleweddings082809.jpg

  • http://brightyellowworld.com abbersnail

    That is an absolute disgrace. I am about to email that company.

  • Hannah

    I saw that. Fucked. Up.

  • Rebecca

    My left ring finger says I'm a confident, educated woman that doesn't need a bunch of bling to tell everyone I'm engaged. The smile on my face tells them all they need to know.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07444112478649552042 Kate

    I don't see the problem. The statement is true. From those rings you would tell that the woman is married, wealthy and probably thinks of herself as an individual; seeing as they aren't the stereotypical 'set'. You would also be able to tell that she doesn't care where her finery comes from as long as it looks pretty and demonstrates her access to extravagance.

    In short if you are willing to buy that sort of product then the advertising is just pointing out a truism.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00296286661854197887 Fatale Femme

    This is a perfect example of advertising fail, that we're perpetuating sterotypes that should have died away by now. I'm a little dissapointed in the ad agency, and the company for thinking that this is OK, or remotely in tune with current feminist values.

  • midwestelle

    I agree with Kate. You can tell about a woman by what she wears on her hand. And it doesn't just mean "she's rich" or "she's poor".

    And if you want to tell the world "I have a rich husband and am materialistic", then there you go. :)

    I LOVE my engagement ring and while other women would say it's small, I think it's huge and get a little embarrassed by it, depending on the company!

    To each their own, I suppose

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02567097973987043341 Lauren

    Hmm… I have to say that I am with T-bone and Anon on this one. The point of posting this ad was to show that you CAN'T actually tell everything about a woman by her hand, not to bash the choices that we or our partners made about jewelry. As someone with a very traditional looking solitare, I do hope that the first thing someone would assume upon meeting me isn't that my marriage is somehow less because my husband chose the ring himself, or that I am materialistic. Or maybe my stubby, unmanicured fingers are just throwing them off :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04707441750165767852 Princess Christy

    Well, yes, you can tell a lot by looking at my hands. You can tell that I don't write a lot anymore, but I used to, by the huge callus. You can tell that I've been doing some rough work that I'm not accustomed to, as my right hand is covered in scratches that refuse to heal. If you look REALLY close, you'll see the calluses on the pads of my fingers from playing instruments. If you are even more astute, you will notice that I keep my nails short, so as not to interfere with that playing. But you know what? Look at my rings, and be confused – I have a single stone diamond ring on a gold band on BOTH ring fingers, and most of the population cannot tell me which one is my engagement ring.

    The WIC needs to realize that there's a lot more to our hands than our rings!

  • Anonymous

    This is why I don'y have a diamond engagement ring–nothing more than a status symbol.

  • Marisa-Andrea

    The ad IS pretty outrageous, but I suppose I'm not AS bothered by it as I am by other things because I'm not the woman to whom this ad is marketed. While there is something to be said for representation and perpetuating stereotypes (as this ad certainly does), this ad is marketed to a lot of women — not just us. AND the unfortunate truth is that many stereotypes find their bases in reality. This ad is for the women who insist that their boyfriend/partners/etc spend 3 months of his salary on a diamond engagement ring. This ad is for the woman who told me that her ring had to be at least 5 carats or "her husband wasn't worth marrying." This ad is for women who desire an engagement ring that they "can show off to their friends."

    I think what I find MORE baffling is the magazine in which the article appeared. There are a lot of us for which marriage is more than a pretty bauble. But sadly to say, I think there are a great many women who fall victim to the wedding industry's anthems — and these are precisely the women who will relate to this ad.

  • Marisa-Andrea

    @ Ms. Bunny: Lol. "Is she married? Engaged? Is it a class ring? Is she one of those 'MODERN' women who doesn't wear a ring? No diamond so I can't figure it OUT…this makes my head hurt…"

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06990466546123333194 Kyley

    Remember when you asked me why I read your blog? The answer: This post and especially these comments.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06990466546123333194 Kyley

    @Sarah, I'm sorry if you feel attacked. I think most people are responding so viscerally to the language of the add which suggest woman's value/interests/personality/worth=the $$$ of her ring.

    I think everyone here agrees that your wedding should be YOUR wedding, and if that involves a shiny diamond ring or a simple wooden necklace, it is all good. These ads, however, don't allow space for that difference.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06985820953743653787 Ms. Bunny

    I really hope my comment didn't come across that I judge others who have diamond rings. I was trying to imply that people who judge me based on a ring (traditional or untraditional doesn't matter) have got it all wrong.

    I think in the discussion on rings (or other various subjects on this blog), we all get a little heated and say things a little bit too quickly.

    If we don't want others to judge us on our own personal ring choices, we need to remember not to do any judging of others ourselves.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13781314774264492284 blind irish pirate

    OH NO THEY DIDN'T!!

  • Sarah

    @t-bone, anon, & lauren… thanks for being the minority voice in this discussion. i have to say that as i was reading all of these comments, and i looked down at my hand, i felt like i was kind of being attacked. i also agree that you can't tell EVERYTHING about a woman by looking at their hand, but at the same time, it does say something about her. i'm not saying the ad is necessarily right, but i did put a lot of thought and importance into my ring, and i don't think that there's anything wrong with that. my ring is very nice, and i wanted something that i would be proud to display and where for the rest of my life. to some people that is a titanium or plain gold band or wooden ring, to me it was a 1 carat princess cut diamond in a vintage-inspired platinum setting. yes it was $ but i don't think there's anything wrong with that either. i can be an independent, intelligent, strong woman and have a nice ring too.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01739533284860045738 Nicole

    I'm not a fan of the ad by any means, but I can say that after reading the comments, I now feel embarrassed by my beautiful 1 carat engagement ring and my 1/4 carat wedding band…

    It's interesting how people's opinions can do that.

  • bex

    @t-bone and others who enjoy their diamond rings. you should love them! and you should feel maybe a little judged by some of the other comments here. but you should also know that it hurts a little to be judged! it's the same feeling when every person who finds out we're engaged immediately looks at my hands with confusion. and horrid judgement. we don't like it just as much as you don't. this isn't meant to be nasty, just that the door swings both ways. now if only we could ALL convince the ad execs out there at the diamond companies to have a little respect for women and their choices.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01739533284860045738 Nicole

    @bex: it's interesting that you bring that point up. I am in a graduate program where I constantly have to explain myself for wearing diamonds.

    It ultimately comes down to the WIC v. Indie WIC argument. T-bone said it perfectly:

    Damn our inability to comment on one aspect of the WIC without making sweeping generalizations that make certain women feel bad about themselves. Such a tricky tightrope to walk.

    I appreciate the fact that everyone attempts to walk that rope though.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06871451102521214705 Rachel

    @Anon (12/14, 12:49PM): I got my ring from Diamond Nexus Labs.
    They're mostly an online company, based out of the Milwaukee WI area, but they have one retail store here in Milw. I've gotten great customer service from them. and their stones carry a lifetime guarantee. (But, do what you can to NOT get on their mailing list! such a waste of trees!)…Good luck!

    Lab-created diamond was the best way i found to reconcile my desire for something shiny (and, i'm not ashamed to say, something to show the "let me see the ring!!" people) with my STRONG desire to NOT support DeBeers and the conflict diamond industry.
    Plus, i'm a geologist, and know that diamonds are basically just dinosaur poop anyway. :-)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06206689296805893265 east side bride

    hmmmmmmm. I do judge women by their rings sometimes, but the other way. as in, why the eff would you want to wear THAT?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06008386302876377978 Lyssachelle

    When something makes people so irritated and irate due to the sheer stupid-ness of said something, it’s hard to comment and make sure that your comments don’t offend or include those that you didn’t really intend to include. Had this been a bunch of us at happy hour, I’m sure this is how the conversation might have gone.
    “Can you believe that ad?? Eff huge diamonds and the girls that wear them!”
    “Hey, HELLO? *I* have a huge diamond.”
    “ Yeah, but you’re not a douche.”
    “Oh. Yeah, true. Hey, is there anymore wine left in that bottle?”
    Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your ring; diamond or otherwise, online or offline. Your ring is beautiful because it shows that you are one of the lucky ones who’d found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. (Plus it also says, “HEY! Keep away creepers, me and my hawtness is totally off-limits.”)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02567097973987043341 Lauren

    @Lyssachelle- that was fabulous. And so true. Too bad we can't all have happy hour instead of a blog. (No offense, Meg.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01739533284860045738 Nicole

    @Marisa-Andrea: don't feel bad! I've just noticed that in comments and blogs one side seems to get shut out — not purposefully mind you, but it just happens.

    @Lyssachelle: love it. I had the same thought in my head when reading some of the comments.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09526722516550185150 Meg

    YOU GUYS.

    The point is not that this is a diamond ring, or a big ring or a small ring, or a traditional ring or a not traditional ring. The point is that the ad is saying you can judge a woman by IF SHE IS MARRIED OR NOT (totally, totally, totally unacceptable). Secondly, it implies that you can judge a woman by how rich or poor her ring makes her look (also totally totally totally unacceptable.)

    So ixnay on the "is it ok to have diamonds?" "Is it Indie?" "Is this blog perpetuating indie stereotypes?" "Diamonds are unethical" "Am I being judged?" stuff. Because no, you are not being judged. That's the whole
    point.

    Lyssachelle is right. The depth of ugliness in this ad causes us to have really sharp reactions, and those actions are not a judgment on anyone or anything, other than the nastiness of this ad. The ad is attempting to pit women against each other, so lets not play into that, ok?

  • Marisa-Andrea

    @Nicole: I agree, it is SUCH a tricky tightrope, which is why part of me is only a *little* bugged by this ad. Feminism to me is about being able to make choices, even choices I personally disagree with. Looking back at my post, I probably did come across as judgmental though that wasn't my intention. My point was just that, there's room for all of us. That ad isn't right for me, but it's definitely right for some of us out there.

    Darn. Now I might be sounding judgmental again…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04410714786963533124 Jess

    Here's the link to the jewelry company's support page (http://www.shopsimong.com/support.php)and their support email address (info@simongjewelry.com).

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04410714786963533124 Jess

    Here is the email I just sent them, after posting the italicized text on the blog entry for the advertising company (http://blog.emsardesign.com/2009/08/new-simon-g-jewelry-web-site.html).

    Subject: Clever general concept for jewelry ads, but poor choice in actual content.
    To: info@simongjewelry.com

    I posted the following (italicized below) on a blog entry from the company who designed http://www.simongjewelry.com website: Emsar Design LTD (http://blog.emsardesign.com/2009/08/new-simon-g-jewelry-web-site.html). I doubt the comment will be posted since it speaks negatively of their advertising concept for your company, so I wanted to pass it along to you directly.

    I would like to say that I think your pieces are beautiful and the craftsmanship looks exquisite, but the ads this company has designed takes away from the artistry of your jewelry.

    Jessica *****

    Subject: Clever general concept for jewelry ads, but poor choice in actual content.
    To: info@simongjewelry.com

    I posted the following (italicized below) on a blog entry from the company who designed http://www.simongjewelry.com website: Emsar Design LTD (http://blog.emsardesign.com/2009/08/new-simon-g-jewelry-web-site.html). I doubt the comment will be posted since it speaks negatively of their advertising concept for your company, so I wanted to pass it along to you directly.

    I would like to say that I think your pieces are beautiful and the craftsmanship looks exquisite, but the ads this company has designed takes away from the artistry of your jewelry.

    Jessica *****

    The website is nice, but those ads are horrible. The only one that is remotely funny is "settlement." The "foot" and "nine of your fingers" ones are cute.

    But "therapist", "compromise", "cheating", and "looking at her hand" ones just left me speechless – in a BAD way. Those tag lines are just awful! I get that these ads are supposed to be lighthearted/amusing, but they're mostly just offensive.

    What I take away from them is:
    1. This company makes beautiful jewelry.
    2. Their ad photography is fantastic.
    3. They should fire whomever wrote those tag lines. ESPECIALLY for the engagement and wedding rings. I don't know anyone who would want to buy a ring from a company that openly mocks committed relationships between equals.

    Just so you know, apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way, since I found out about this set of ads through a popular wedding blog I follow: http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2009/12/speechless.html

    Jessica
    27 years old and engaged

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04410714786963533124 Jess

    Sorry for the triple post!!

    Just wanted to let you all know that the company's direct email is "over quota" according to the mailer daemon response I got to the email I sent them.

    I doubt it goes to a different email address, but I submitted my email through the company contact page instead – http://www.shopsimong.com/support.php.

    This submission form http://www.simongjewelry.com/contact/, unfortuately, goes nowhere (http://www.simongjewelry.com/cgi-bin/formmail.pl)

    And for anyone who REALLY cares: http://jewelersdirectory.jckonline.com/Company/3641306-Simon_G_Jewelry

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17572133516556386284 *Michelle

    In honor of the Holiday season, I am going to go with the bright side of things and quote HickBrides' earlier comment "It says she's taken and in love. " Those are some things I'm happy to say are true, and I dont mind if my hand tells the world.
    (Ok, I know that was Reeaching… but I'm going for the positive thought here… and that's all I've got.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04410714786963533124 Jess

    Update: No response back from the company. And my comment was, unsurprisingly, not published on the advertiser's blog entry.

    Also, we all know where they were going with that ad. And it wasn't "you can tell she's married!" it was more like:
    "you can tell how much money she and/or her husband spent on her rings. which OBVIOUSLY indicates how well she married and what good taste they have if its one of our rings (or bad taste if it wasn't), etc…"

    Personally, I don't have a problem with people choosing the engagement/wedding rings that make them happy – no matter what those rings look like or how much they cost.
    But I find these ads offensive, especially when you see the whole set, because they don't really celebrate love and marriage. They imply that the quality of a marriage can (and should) be determined by the jewelry the husband buys you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05078510377194221539 Chantelle

    This is exactly why I opted to get an engagement puppy instead of a ring.
    My parents kept trying to guilt my fiance into still buying me a ring, insinuating that he was being cheap, although, that was NOT what I wanted.
    Now when I get ridiculous comments about my choice I counter that I have the largest "ring" of anyone I know.
    I would much rather have a warm fuzzy lovely to entertain me than a cold rock I have to worry about losing. I just ain't a ring girl.

  • http://laorencha.blogspot.com channamasala

    Well, actually, if you look at my hand, you can tell a lot about me. You can’t tell I’m engaged, because while I do have an engagement ring, it’s gold with no gemstone in sight. You can tell that I have odd, vintagey, ornate, Asian-inspired taste because of the scrollwork and dragon.

    You can tell that I have a playful cat from the tiny cat scratches. You can probably guess that I do a lot of work with my hands because of my nails. You can tell I am not into looking super polished by the lack of, well, polish. You may be able to tell that I cook a lot of Indian and Middle Eastern food by the occasional turmeric stains.

    And you, WIC people, can sure tell a lot about me by my hands after you make some snarky comment about engagement rings and I punch you, and you have a dragon imprint on your face from my ring.*

    *kidding. I can let people have it verbally but I am really anti-violence.

  • Carla

    Unlurking! This here Hearts on Fire (Monogamy)100 ad made me snarl and rant for months:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/modernistaboston/2308587540/

    Yeah. Just… yeah.

  • Candace

    I guess I just don’t get it. I’m not offended by the ad. I think it’s a little silly to go off the deep end over a few words on a photograph. People are going to judge you regardless if it’s by your hands or not. They judge you if you are thin or if you’re fat, black or white, short or tall, if your hair looks good or if it looks bad, if you’re gay or straight, if you wear jeans or dresses… Everybody does “profiling” of some sort (profiling = judging).

    If you get mad over something silly like this, then god forbid if your husband ever accidentally left the toilet seat up once in 10 years, when he got up to go pee at 3:26 in the morning & was zombiefied… Or if he accidentally missed the hamper & there’s ONE sock on the floor that you were “forced” to pick up, since he was such a “slob” and just left it there. I can’t imagine what you’d do to the poor bloke if those atrocities were to befall you.

    Basically, I think the majority of you are acting like drama queens. I’m surprised that you’re engaged or married at all, if you get upset over something so trivial. Go burn your bras or join the keyboard feminazi militia.

    Personally, I just feel sorry for the company. 1.) that they were dumb enough to hire the person who made the ad. 2.) that they paid all that money to put the ad out. 3.) that they have to deal with nasty emails from drama queens.

  • http://abernacky.tumblr.com/ Jess

    Random update, I just remembered this post and checked on the design company’s original blog posting for this ad campaign, and they did end up publishing my little rant of a comment – though I can’t imagine why.

    Candace – If it was just one ad I could let it go. But there is a whole series of ads. Most of them are more offensive than they are amusing. And maybe its ok to you that this company seems to be mocking marriages between equals or that women are more than the shiny jewelry that we wear, but its not ok to me.

  • http://abernacky.tumblr.com/ Jess

    *or that women aren’t more than the shiny jewelry that we wear

  • Elizabeth

    I agree with your comments…. HOWEVER, I really do want a sparkly gorgeous ring (without the price tag of course). diamond nexus labs has beautiful jewelry that is gold or platinum with lab created diamonds. I told my boyfriend- I would much prefer a stunning ring that isn’t a blood diamond, doesn’t mine the hell out of the earth and also keeps the costs down.

    Being true to myself is important- for me that means sparkle. Its ok to want what you want, just be smart about why you want it.

  • Sarah G.

    This whole ad campaign is disgusting. I saw one when I was skimming magazines that I just had to share with my fiance, too- that one said “because you only get married for the first time once.” I did laugh at how horrible that ad was (I mean really, they’re just BAD advertisements)… no matter how you look at it, it’s awful. Apparently your current engagement is going to lead to a DOOMED “first” marriage, but that first ring is the only one that matters. When you get remarried, ffft, why bother with a ring at all?