Comments on: Team {life} Practical: Marie-Eve in Montreal

By: Olivia

Olivia — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 05:27:43 +0000

This is a great post!

I’ve lived in Canada and the US, and in Montreal specifically, and I think that there is a different attitude about children and about relationships in Quebec. From what I could see as a non-parent, the cultural norm there does embrace more of what you wrote in this post than other places that I have lived. Which is not to say that we can’t all achieve that wherever we are, but it is nice when you’re in an environment that promotes more balance.

I also think Quebec has that sense of embracing la vie quotidienne right in a lot of ways – right down to drinking beer in kiddie pools on hot summer days!

By: Sara

Sara — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:05:45 +0000

That was a beautiful post. Thank you thank you thank you for continually bringing these wonderful people to us!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:17:51 +0000

What an awesome post! I'm so happy to have heard this perspective.

Seven months ago my little sister had a baby. I thought she was crazy, and I was so worried that the kid would ruin her life. I've never been around babies, and was terrified of him when he was a new-born.

But, he's incredible, and she loves being a mother. Most importantly, for me, there is a sense that he just... IS. He's not good or bad, he wasn't a mistake or a blessing, he's just a person, and he's here, and he's hers (ours).

I guess my (limited) experience being an aunt, and hearing great stories like this make me realize that the noise we hear about having kids is so one-dimensional. Having kids is nuanced, and people have complex emotions about all sorts of things- kids included. Kids don't end your life, and they don't start it over- they're just part of it.

By: Eco Yogini

Eco Yogini — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:52:10 +0000

yep- i work with kids... and i see how much joy they bring, but since they are mostly all special needs preschoolers... i see a lot of the pain.

it's so nice to hear something positive and beautiful.

thank you!

By: April

April — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:53:06 +0000

Beautifully written and so heartfelt! Thank you for sharing. It seems all I ever hear from my friends that have children is how much of burden they are, how difficult they make life, and then our friends inevitably caution us by saying, "DON'T do it!" It's quite sad really.

So – I'm just thrilled to see your positive comments and how you balance being you, a mum, and a wife. Well done and wishing many fun, happy, silly years ahead to you all!

By: A Los Angeles Love

A Los Angeles Love — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:24:02 +0000

Oh thank you for this. I never wanted children when I was younger, but I've been longing for them in the last few years. However, I feel terrified that I'll lose myself and lose what I have with my partner. It's hard to feel convinced that we can do it our way and do it well when we don't have examples of precisely what we want to emulate. In addition, I've begun seeing friends' awful Facebook status updates about the horrors of parenting. I know they love their children, but it's the negativity and difficulty that gets highlighted all too often. I want more examples like this of the ways in which parenthood is incredible, challenging, and worthwhile without losing ourselves in the process. Thank you Marie-Eve and Meg for sharing this.

By: fleda

fleda — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:15:13 +0000

To echo Cate: thanks for being a positive model!

I see too many people whose interesting adult lives seem kind of derailed by kids, and it makes me really not want to have kids. You provide a much needed counter-perspective, and it helps my internal debate to be more balanced.

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:03:49 +0000

love love love love love love love love. i love this post so much. it's going in my favorites, to be eventually printed and re-read over and over again for whenever i become a wife and then a mother.

By: Jasper

Jasper — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:44:47 +0000

This is such a great post ~ especially that whether you are married or not having a child DOES make you become more of who you are. Once faced with the reality that I was responsible for bringing up a person I had to figure out what my values are and what I stood for – fast!
And also, I fully believe that we don't experience the spectrum of love in its entirety until we have a child. And what an even better feeling to share that love and experience with your parter.
My husband and I each have a child from a previous relationship and one with each other. It means we don't get as much time to stare into each other's eyes, but we get so much time to be a family – and that is great.

By: Frugalista

Frugalista — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:44:30 +0000

Great post. I am actually terrified of having children. I just don't know if I have what it takes so I am hungry for all kinds of perspectives on this matter from people who have and have not done it. I just keep telling myself if and when the time is right it will happen.