Archive for 2010

Dec 2010

See You In 2011!

It's been a crazy and wonderful and exhausting year here. Big, huge, enormous. David graduated from law school, took and passed the bar, and was sworn in as a lawyer earlier this month. I grew APW from a hobby to, well, a serious business. We went to Italy. We didn't get enough sleep. We laughed a lot, we fought a little, and we drank lots of wine. It was a good year, but it was tiring.

And now it's winding to a close. It's time for us to rest and renew. To think. To take long walks on the beach together. To see family. To be a family. So I'm closing my computer, and I'm off. We'll see you back here on January 3, for a year that is sure to be full of more amazing adventures, and hopefully more naps. Till then, may all be calm, all be bright.

xo,
Meg

Posted in: Life, Meg's Thoughts, Personal Thoughts | 22 Comments »

Dec 2010

Wedding Undergraduate: Fighting

Eliza's super empowering post about fighting seemed like a great way to lead into the holidays, because, lets be honest, is it even possible to make it through the high-stress holidays without a fight or two? (If you can, shhhhh! None of us mere mortals want to hear about it!) I'm blessed with a relationship where we're comfortable fighting with each other. We have two kinds of fights: the blowing off steam fights, which don't mean very much, and the really painful moving things forward fights. And the truth is, the world doesn't have much to say about how amazingly helpful fighting has the potential of being. So without further ado, Eliza, and the power of the fight:

Last night my fiance and I were talking about the year - like a pre-NYE resolution look back, if you will. We do this most years in December, but this year it felt particularly huge. This has been the year we've gotten engaged, the year we've planned our wedding together. And at the start of the year, it was the year of being pre-engaged. This was a year in which I started a new job, and in which lots of my expectations about my career got turned upside down. 2010 has been a really huge year for us individually, and for our relationship. But what stood out, and what we wound up talking about, were the fights we'd had. Not petty squabbles or spats about being tired or whose way of stacking the dishwasher is the "right way", but the important stuff.

Over the last four and a half years - but mostly since moving in together two and a half years ago - we have had big fights. We have fought about the way we live in our home. About space, and silence, and how to treat each other in certain situations. About family - our extended families, our birth families, how often we see them and how those occasions should go. We have fought about affection, about sex, about what our wedding should be like, about how it should be organised. (We don't fight about money, but in this I think we are unusual.) More than anything else, we have fought about communication - how we communicate, what it means, and how we wish it worked, how we want it to work in the future.

And our relationship is freaking AWESOME, you guys. We are incredibly, stupidly happy together. In large part, because those fights? We resolved them. Continue reading Wedding Undergraduate: Fighting

Posted in: Planning, Reclaiming Wife, The Hard Stuff, Wedding Undergraduates | 77 Comments »

Dec 2010

Wedding Graduates: Kelsey & Russell

Today's wedding is something we don't get enough of on APW - a religious active duty military wedding (for the win!) So I'm extra indebted to Kelsey. She read APW, she rocked her wedding, and she sent it in (and it is amazing). So without further ado, Kelsey's amazing brewery wedding, paid for by the couple themselves (go you guys):

When I was planning my July 31 wedding, a girlfriend sent me a link to APW. I fell in love with it immediately, the ideas, the contributors, and the community, and it became a habit to check APW everyday like checking my email. (Although I quickly discovered I couldn't read it at work, since a lot of stories bring me to tears.) I'm still here, even though my wedding is months past.

My husband and I are both active duty military officers in the US Navy, which is where we met... on a ship, in the middle of the ocean. (You never know where you're going to meet that someone... or how you're going to look when you do). For two people assigned to operational tours on Navy ships, dating can be a little unusual, but we both knew the risks involved and took our relationship step by step. And things worked out amazingly well. We learned how to juggle time together with duty, time underway, and I deployed for six months last year to the Middle East (talk about a relationship tester). But we made it through those challenges just fine, and ended up on shore duty together in Washington DC, which is where we live now. He proposed to me last November, 2 weeks after I returned home from deployment, in the shadow of the Washington Monument. It was wonderful, I was crying. We called our parents that night to share the news, and wedding planning began.

We felt really out of place in DC, since we had just moved there, and quickly decided an East Coast wedding was not "us". Russell's family is in Orlando, mine is in Seattle, and we didn't really care to get married in those places, either. We had just moved from San Diego, which is where we met, and dated, and most of our friends still lived, so we decided to have the wedding there. It seems like we chose a destination wedding, but really we picked the place that felt the most like home to us.

Russell and I planned to pay for the wedding ourselves. Our families get by ok, but we were adamantly opposed to placing any financial burden on them. We have great jobs, no kids, and had enough in savings to absorb the cost. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Kelsey & Russell

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 49 Comments »

Dec 2010

Sponsored Post: Elissa R Photography & Giveaway

It's almost Christmas and New Years, and that means time to wind down for the year. But before that happens we have one last sponsored post, and a good one too. Today I get to officially introduce you to Elissa R Photography in Austin Texas, serving Austin and San Antonio, as well as Houston and Dallas (with a small travel fee). We've got a lot of APW-ers in Texas: there are three thriving Texas book clubs, and our own editor Alyssa lives in Dallas. So I'm thrilled that we're finally able to get y'all more Texan wedding elves you're going to love. Yay Elissa R Photography!

Elissa has been reading APW forever-ever (two years), and has been chatting with me for at least nine months about coming on as a sponsor. She was building her business and her portfolio, and wanted to wait till she finally felt powered up and ready to go, and that time is now! Yippie! Elissa's photos are gorgeous, and I have a feeling that after this summer's experience shooting APW weddings, her work is going to be even better, if that's possible. That makes Elissa R Photography one of those wedding myths... the affordable but talented photographer who is building her portfolio. Her wedding rates start at $600 (!!), and I have a feeling THAT isn't going to last. So those of you in Texas looking for a phenomenal deal on a rising star? Let's do this thing.

Elissa is a classically trained photographer who went to an arts magnet school in Texas, worked in Houston-area museums, and grew up in the dark room. But she told me, "I didn’t think I could make a career with my passion, however, so I put the camera down, rejected offers from art institutes, and went to a state university. I’m glad I received a well-rounded education, but it turns out that being behind the lens (and then writing about the people and experiences I encounter!) is really what makes me happy. So I’m giving it a go." Hooray!

But her story about why she wants to work with APW couples is even better. Elissa R Photography might be the only wedding business ever (or at least so far) that started *specifically* to work with you guys. She got engaged, found APW, and started reading all your comments and support every day, and she told me this:

While I was reading about these smart, practical, talented folks I thought to myself that I would love to support them all, one day, somehow. Being a part of this community has made me feel like I have thousands of awesome sisters — or, at least, some awesome distant cousins.

At the same time I realized that my life was so much better with creativity and art and I picked up my camera again. I realized I could contribute to this fantastic community by being a part of their wedding days. Does that sound insane? That I chose to go into wedding photography because of the people I met here? I admire the seriousness of the love, life, and marriage that these ladies (and gents) have admitted to owning. And hey, if supporting their marriage means being there with a camera in hand, working my butt off, I will totally do it.

And in one final bit of awesomeness, Elissa is offering a free photo session early next year for an APW couple. Here are the details:

I want to offer a couple a free portrait session in the greater Austin area (special consideration to fabulous folks in San Antonio or Houston!) to be redeemed in early 2011 (Jan or Feb). It can be an engagement session or just a couples’ portrait session, or whatever — no strings attached and they will get all their photo files. I just want to meet some rad people and have fun and shoot some lovely photographs. If they could comment with their story, that’d be great.

So leave a comment, and then go browse. We ended 2010 right, didn't we? Elissa R Photography could not be more perfect for APW, and I can't wait to see the magic you guys create together.

Posted in: Sponsored Posts | 33 Comments »

Dec 2010

Lauren’s Wedding Planning: Cash Money

Before the holidays are upon us, Intern Lauren is back with another installment of her wedding planning saga... and this is a hard one. If you go back and dig through my wedding planning posts, you'll find that wedding planning was hard for me too. There was the time I hit rock bottom (thanks to family illness and some truly awful friend behavior), the time good friends suddenly announced their divorce and after a lot of tears I realized what weddings are really about (hint, hope), and then the time that the economy melted down the money part of wedding planning hit me hard. So when Lauren sent me this post about how hard planning was right now, and how stressed she was about money, I nodded, I sighed, and I knew we needed to discuss it. Because wedding zen is real, but so are the hard parts. In fact, sometimes I think we earn the zen with the hard work and the tears. So here is Lauren, with some gritty truth:

Oh yes, the Holidays are in full swing. The trees are up (I don't have one, but I see them on TV), the Christmas music is on the radio, the menorahs are being lit, it's cold, I'm getting a thousand emails about sales here and there every day, and I am totally freaked out about money. We're trying to save for the wedding, and of course I want to give every single person I know a thoughtful, lovely gift that they will adore me forever for. You'd think I was exaggerating for the laugh, but I'm really not. And what does all of this have to do with wedding planning? Cost. Money. Moola. Our savings and how because we're focusing on saving I feel trapped by my lack of spending money.

I've made choices for our wedding that are meaningful and inclusive and important, and also hopefully fun and engaging for our guests. And I'm not spending money just to spend the money, I'm not trying to out-decorate anyone or have the longest train. None of that. But my wedding is happening in Seattle and I live in San Francisco, and that right there is totally impractical as far as logistics are concerned. It's difficult and creates more cost because I can't be prepping tons of stuff beforehand and storing it in my mother's closet, I can't spend a week before the wedding buying supplies and building amazing home made godknowswhats and tying ribbons on everything, even though I want to. So that means sometimes I have to pay for the convenience of having someone else make and organize it.

The truth about money is I wish we had more. Continue reading Lauren’s Wedding Planning: Cash Money

Posted in: Planning, Planning, Wedding Undergraduates | 189 Comments »

Dec 2010

Wedding Graduates: Andy & Estrella

So! It's the last week of the year for APW, and to reward you all for a year well lived (and well married) we wanted to leave you with a whole week of wedding graduates. But it turns out there were one or two things that had to be said before the holidays, things about fighting and hard stuff and reflecting on the year. So this week is a mix of wise graduates, and thoughtful words. And to kick it all of we have Estrella, a Bay Area APW Book Club-er, and a smart lady. Her wedding day was a bit of a mess... and it was ok. She found a way to make the crazy into magic, something I'm always in awe of, and something worth reminding yourself is possible. It's not one perfect day, it's two messy, wildly imperfect, joyful lives. And with that, I bring you Estrella:

Andy: “How many times am I allowed to use the word “epic” in my wedding vows?”
Me: “Uh…none?”

Surprising to everyone who knows us, Andy and I met on match.com. Probably the most amazing thing about our story is that we were so close to meeting and we just didn't. We ran the same circles: same restaurants, same bars, same gym, same stores, and walked the same streets. Funny as it sounds, it took an online site to bring us together. We contacted each other (I made the first move!) and set up our first date. We met at Fellini's in Berkeley and flirted over risotto and alfresco vegetables. We knew within minutes that our paths would be, in some way, together. Drinks at the Albatross were next and since it was a Sunday night we decided to cut it short (can you call a five hour date "short"?) and say goodnight. Plans were made for a second date and we've been together ever since.

Andy and I got engaged in Santa Fe, New Mexico, on a wintery night in a hot tub under the stars. After an emphatic yes, I am proud to say that the next words I uttered were, “Where did you hide the ring? Please tell me it wasn’t up your butt!” What followed was an eight month frenzy of crazy planning, crazy because we wanted to do everything ourselves. We were on a budget and being hardworking, self-sufficient people, we didn’t foresee this being a problem. What we didn’t take into account was that we both would be working all summer away from home, where we’d have no access to phones or computers. This was followed by the looked-over detail that come in August. Andy would be starting his first long awaited teaching job, which left the planning up to me.

Up until two days before the wedding, I couldn’t have been happier: We found the perfect site, a large estate we could rent for the weekend that was out in the countryside, about an hour from our home; I discovered crafting skills I never knew I possessed, as is witnessed by the bird-on-a-wire motif that I took on with abandon; I scoured craigslist for décor that I thought would fit our style, including 50+ mason jars that we wanted to use for the cocktail and lawn games hour; and I read countless wedding blogs for inspiration (that is, until I discovered APW and abandoned all the others).

And then the wedding weekend arrived. I was fine doing most things on my own, but when it came to coordinating myself as well as the massive numbers of people that kept rolling in and were looking to us, to me, for direction, I cracked. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Andy & Estrella

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 45 Comments »

Archive for 2010

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