Because marriage is about the small moments. And also, because we like planning ahead (nowearenothavingbabiesrightnow).
Me, looking up from reading Michael Chabon's Manhood For Amateurs (I read Ayelet Waldman's - his wife's - Bad Mother over Christmas, and am currently rotating between Manhood and Columbine.... I need a little depressing to go with my light):
Me: Do you think we'll be able to be the parents we want to be, and you know, let our kids play outside and ride their bikes around the neighborhood all by themselves, and then even go to the store to get an ice cream without us even being there?
Continue reading Ironing Out The Details
Archive for January, 2010
29
Ironing Out The Details
Jan
2010
If you can believe it, Nicole emailed me hours BEFORE the post went up about not loving your wedding to say, she'd thought about it, and she really wanted to write her wedding graduate post about how she didn't love her wedding. Whaaa? Yes. You guys have this truly awe inspiring group brain, and I continue to be amazed at how you ponder similar questions at similar times. Nicole wanted to stress that while she didn't love her wedding, and has advice to share, and maybe would have made different choices if she could, she had a FUN FUN FUN time at her wedding. As I think you can see. We're all about complicated here at APW (thank goodness for other complex smart women who make me feel sane). So. I bring you wedding graduate Nicole, with her best advice. I'd say it's advice for weddings, but I just re-read it, and I'm pretty sure it's great LIFE advice. Maybe the reason why weddings are such good teachers is that they need to be. They are the gateway to a new adult life, a life as a new family. A new family and a life we have to learn to care for and defend. So. With that. I bring you Nicole:
Continue reading Wedding Graduate Nicole, on Not Loving Her Wedding
Continue reading Wedding Graduate Nicole, on Not Loving Her Wedding
27
Wedding Graduate: Adrienne And The Mill Wedding
Jan
2010
Today's wedding needs no introduction, but, it comes with a really great Team Practical story. Adrienne and Vincent ended up making friends with Anna (and G) of Accordions and Lace on honeymoon in Nicaragua. They all got along right away, and then, when Anna was a wedding graduate (which was about two seconds after they all got back, since I sent Anna the wedding graduate prompt after she had gone to bed on her wedding night, NO JOKE), they had this explosion of, "Oh my god oh my god of course we all got along, ahhhhh!" So, that would be cool enough, but Adrienne also had the coolest vintage dress in the world, AND A WEDDING PINATA. What? EFF YES. Oh, and she's wise, wise, wise. Take it, lady:
Continue reading Wedding Graduate: Adrienne And The Mill Wedding
Continue reading Wedding Graduate: Adrienne And The Mill Wedding
25
Your Wedding Is Not An Imposition
Jan
2010
This is too important to bury in the comments. So here we go:
YOUR WEDDING IS NOT AN IMPOSITION.
Did you get that? It's not an imposition on *anyone.* And let me tell you why. It's not because your guests will have fun at your wedding (though, duh, they will), it's because your guests are grown-ass people. They are GROWN UPS. If your wedding is too expensive, or too far away, or just too much of a bother? They won't come. If you're lucky, they'll be very kind when they tell you about it. If you're not lucky? Then you didn't want them there anyway (try to remember that mid-sob, it was hard for me.)
But the people that come to your wedding? Well, let me quote the wise Marisa-Andrea, "This is what I have learned: The people who love you and care about you will not feel like your wedding is a burden or an imposition. They will be thrilled that out of all of the people you could have invited, you want THEM. The (editors note: FEW) people who do feel burdened -- eh. You are always going to have someone who isn't satisfied.*"
Continue reading Your Wedding Is Not An Imposition
YOUR WEDDING IS NOT AN IMPOSITION.
Did you get that? It's not an imposition on *anyone.* And let me tell you why. It's not because your guests will have fun at your wedding (though, duh, they will), it's because your guests are grown-ass people. They are GROWN UPS. If your wedding is too expensive, or too far away, or just too much of a bother? They won't come. If you're lucky, they'll be very kind when they tell you about it. If you're not lucky? Then you didn't want them there anyway (try to remember that mid-sob, it was hard for me.)
But the people that come to your wedding? Well, let me quote the wise Marisa-Andrea, "This is what I have learned: The people who love you and care about you will not feel like your wedding is a burden or an imposition. They will be thrilled that out of all of the people you could have invited, you want THEM. The (editors note: FEW) people who do feel burdened -- eh. You are always going to have someone who isn't satisfied.*"
Continue reading Your Wedding Is Not An Imposition
25
Sponsored Post: Gabriel Harber Photography
Jan
2010
Well, on Friday I promised one more post about a hyper-talented photographer who also happens to be a personal friend, and today I deliver.
Continue reading Sponsored Post: Gabriel Harber Photography
25
Your Wedding Is Not A Show
Jan
2010
I've heard a lot of talk on APW lately about people's fear of being the center of attention on their wedding day, and I thought we needed to chat. Because here is the thing: the whole wedding industry is built around this idea that the wedding is a SHOW, and you are the STAR(s). Which... of course that's enough to make an introverted girl freak out. But more to the point, we're so stuck in this idea of the wedding as a show, that we put a huge amount of thought, energy, and stress into the idea of entertaining our guests.
But here is the thing: Your wedding is not a show.
Before we get into this, let me just state my biases up front. Both David and I have our degrees in theatre and co-produced several shows, and a gala. And, for the record, I have never, since the beginning of time, been scared of being the center of attention. But. But. I did not feel like the center of attention on our wedding day, and it was wonderful.
Weddings are about two things, and we only ever talk about one. Weddings are about everyone gathering to see two people make vows of lifetime commitment, and to celebrate that. But weddings are also about something else - they are about old friends and family getting together, sharing stories, catching up, hugging, laughing, talking... and making new friends, and creating new memories. The two of you are the reason why everyone is gathered together, but (blessedly) when a wedding goes right, it is about so much more than the two of you. The secret is that a happy wedding looks like this:
Continue reading Your Wedding Is Not A Show
But here is the thing: Your wedding is not a show.
Before we get into this, let me just state my biases up front. Both David and I have our degrees in theatre and co-produced several shows, and a gala. And, for the record, I have never, since the beginning of time, been scared of being the center of attention. But. But. I did not feel like the center of attention on our wedding day, and it was wonderful.
Weddings are about two things, and we only ever talk about one. Weddings are about everyone gathering to see two people make vows of lifetime commitment, and to celebrate that. But weddings are also about something else - they are about old friends and family getting together, sharing stories, catching up, hugging, laughing, talking... and making new friends, and creating new memories. The two of you are the reason why everyone is gathered together, but (blessedly) when a wedding goes right, it is about so much more than the two of you. The secret is that a happy wedding looks like this:
Continue reading Your Wedding Is Not A Show
