This is what i’ve been trying to explain to people who then look at me with eyebrows raised and most likely refer to me thereafter as the ‘anti-bride’. From my experience of being to too many weddings where I feel like I bought tickets to a show, I strongly beleive that the “bride and groom are not the center of attention, they are the reason” theory of a wedding is the way to go.

I am terrified at being the center of attention. My fiance loves it. i tried taking out all the parts that make you the center – I nixed the king’s table, cake cutting, bouquet toss..everything, because i didn’t want to stop the party. I wanted to hang out with people and not be forced to do something at a time that didn’t feel natural. Fiance wants to be the center of attention and do all of it. Makes sense…bigger permutation of our normal selves. I like to sit and talk with people at parties, he likes singing – invited or not ;) Thank you for posting this – Made me feel much happier.

Someone mentioned the aisle walk…I was a little nervous about having all eyes on me then, but it was the happiest experience of my life. I don't know if a lot of people just look at their spouse-to-be while walking, but I couldn't stop smiling and trying to make eye contact with people. It didn't feel like I was on display…I could feel all the love and support from everyone in the room.

We were adamant that our wedding was not going to be a performance, not because we have trouble being the centre of attention, but because we felt that expectation of performing would take away from the genuine honesty we wanted to feel while saying our vows, and throughout the day.

Specifically because we're theatre nerds, we didn't want to be acting when we made such solemn vows. It was definitely a struggle and took a lot of focus and mindfulness.

Can wait to see what comes in the "more later" ceremony-related post!

Please don't condescend. This is a group of smart, kind, thoughtful, patient, and polite women. They don't need one more person assuming they don't have their heads on their shoulders. They do.