Well, a nasty and patronising email from her yesterday set me straight on any assumptions I had. She is my only bridesmaid (my MOH lives in another country) but her email yesterday informed me that she was no longer willing to be emotionally available to me and that, according to her I hate my wedding and everyone associated with it and that I should seek a therapist to discuss my wedding problems with in future. I am completely shocked. The wedding planning has caused us enormous stress due to issues too numerous to mention and yes, I have vented some problems (but certainly not all) and expressed my dismay about people I counted on to attend who aren’t but good grief! I was only sharing my problems with a friend and valued family member. I am so upset. As an unmarried woman she assumes that I should enjoy the entire wedding planning process and never have a moan about any aspect of it. I’m really not sure how to respond to her accusations and fear that it might cause an enormous family rift. What to do?

As for edited. Well. Yes. But I think that's different from superficial? I don't share too much, because I need my personal space… I need you to not know me unless you know me. But I'm very true with what I do say. I'm not saying that about ME, I'm saying that about everyone who blogs.

My friendships still haven't fully recovered and to be honest, I have scars. Like a bad break-up, I am hurt and feel alone a lot (thank god for my husband). I dive into your blog (and a couple of others) like I'm listening to a good friend because I don't know that I have those relationships in real life anymore. And that scares me more than anything else, because I realize that this blogging thing has that exposed and superficial layer to it. You didn't hit publish until now because it was too personal. I have a dozen drafts just sitting in my blogger. I am sera edited, all the time – in the blog and in real life.
as always, thanks. and thanks for letting me blather on in your comments.

peasantwench! we're wedding day sisters! congrats on your marriage! but I'm so sorry to hear about your dad passing, I can't even imagine that happening at all, much less 2 months before my wedding. <3 -Rachel (aka D-Day)

I just got married yesterday (eee!) and I can say that I think I managed to make it through the *wedding planning* part without too much *wedding* turmoil. I had one freakout that was solved by making my own personalized to do list and talking it over with my husband's (eee!) mother over dinner at McDonald's, of all places. I realized that while yes, there was a lot of work, it was all totally doable.

Now. It helps that we had a really casual evening wedding at a community hall with no dinner and my mother in law organized all the desserts and I didn't care about flowers or decorations. Also, my dad died less than two months before the wedding, and well, yeah. They kind of put everything in perspective.

Not a helpful answer, I realize. Basically, I made lists and spreadsheets (I *like* lists and spreadsheets) and just checked things off. When I got a little anxious a month before the wedding, Dave turned the list into a super detailed countdown list with deadlines, tasks and who was responsible. And then we just worked it through. It helped that our vision, if you can call it that, was clear. We wanted to be married. We wanted as many of our families and friends who could be there, to be there. We wanted to dance and drink and talk and meet each others extended family. Neither of us cared what the hall looked like, or, well, any of the details. And neither did our family.

I don't know – may that makes me part of the "oh so easy" problem. But, well, my dad died, and then we bought a house. I had so much else going on that we knew what was important, made that happen, and ignored every thing else.