I've been thinking a lot about community over the past few weeks, and what it means to do a good job hosting one. In many ways, I'm pretty proud of the work I've done building community on APW. We have a great safe space to talk and support each other, we have totally fascinating discussions. You guys contribute to the conversation in huge and amazing ways with wedding graduate posts and Reclaiming Wife posts and just because posts. Plus, you care as much about each other as you do about me, and that's a huge deal.
But there are other ways I haven't been as good at building and facilitating community as I could be. Namely: asking for help. I HATE it. When it comes to asking for help I'm dig-in-my-heels stubborn. I don't need help, I shouldn't ask for it, I shouldn't expect it. No way, no how. But over the last six months, regular readers and commenters have been having some serious conversations with me about this. Their arguments go something like this: A) We love what is happening on APW, and we want to help it grow. Personally. What can we do? B) APW is not all about you, and you can't do it all alone. C) You're slowly killing yourself with your not-ever-having-any-down-time and not-having-time-to-really-write nonsense. D) Let us help.
And for some reason, my extra stubborn response has been, "I'M FINE I'M SO SUPER DUPER FINE. APW IS SMALL AND SCRAPPY AND JUST ME AND DID I MENTION I'M SCRAPPY AND I TOTALLY DON'T NEED HELP AND IF I ASKED FOR HELP I WOULD BE A BAD PERSON AND PEOPLE WILL HATE ME AND I'M SO TOTALLY FINE, NO PROBLEMS HERE!"
Achem. Right. Well. But then there is my health, and me wanting to keep it. And my writing, and me wanting time to do it. And in the end, I want to do what's right for APW, and it slowly, slowly dawned on me that doing what's right for APW meant admitting that to really honor the little community that's built here, I have to allow myself to accept help.
So. I'm excited to finally get to tell you guys that APW is finally not totally me.
A month ago, I jokingly twittered something about needing an intern, and Lauren replied that she'd totally be my intern and bring me coffee. Turns out the woman has an MFA in writing, lives ten blocks away from me, and is trying to build up her resume in social media. I know, right? The Universe could not speak more clearly than that.
So, for the past month, Lauren has been on the APW team. If you've noticed more writing on my part in the last month, thank Lauren. She's currently in charge of picking and prepping all the wedding graduate posts (with some pokes from me), copy-editing all my posts for the rather infinite errors, and re-tagging all the real wedding and wedding graduate posts so you can find them more easily. She's planning her wedding for next summer, and starting tomorrow, she'll be sharing her wedding undergraduate journey on APW, in fits and starts.
But it gets better than THAT even. Remember when I went to Italy and Alyssa and Liz moderated while I was gone? Of course you do, because it was awesome. Well, Liz is slightly busy at the moment growing a small human and working her dream job as a High School English Teacher. But!
Alyssa is joining the APW Team (how cool is it that I can say APW Team?) as the editor of our new weekly-ish column Ask Team Practical, which will run on Fridays. You guys send me a LOT of email asking me wedding (and sometimes marriage) related questions, and I've officially reached the point where I can't even dream of answering all the questions (or even some of them) and I was feeling sad. But no more!!! Now you can email those questions to askteampractical at apracticalwedding dot com (I swear to God, if you email me a press release at this email address, I will mock you on Twitter and make you rue the day, so don't, mmmkayyy?) and once a week we'll work on answering and/or crowd sourcing answers to these questions. Are you excited? I'm SO EXCITED.
And now, things you might want to know about Alyssa and Lauren. First: they are both helping me out for free right now, because they are awesome people. That means I, and we, owe them a rather huge debt of gratitude. I try to pay down that debt by giving them free stuff, and endless time to ask me questions about running a small business and social media. You can respect their contributions by being nice to them. I would kiss you on the mouth if you did that. Ready? SMOOCH.
Second. Alyssa is hilarious and lives in Texas and is hilarious. Seriously. She wrote the funniest wedding graduate post on record, but doesn't have a blog. Boo. Except now she's kind of borrowing APW on Fridays. She twitters at @Lyssachelle, and you should totally follow her. Her feed is locked, but she says YOU are more than welcome to follow her. Because she loves you.
Lauren is a writer, and lives with her fiance by the beach in San Francisco. She's currently way too nice to me, and Alyssa and I are working to break her of that habit. Recent lessons include such gems as, "If you're really funny, you can kind of get away with being a b*tch! Go!" Lauren writes at Better In Real Life, and she's awesome. You should particularly read this post about feminism (prompted by some of our conversations on APW), and this post about curly straws and sobbing because your partner clearly does not love you any more, because obviously. You can follow her on twitter at @betterinrealife, and if you follow all three of us, you can totally listen in, cocktail-party-style, to us discussing APW work. Fun? Maybe. Funny? Yes.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that, hey, APW isn't teeny and scrappy any more. Now we're smedium sized and scrappy. And you know what? That's a great thing. So please help me welcoming Lauren and Alyssa to the party. I think they are going to make APW an even better place to be. And for that, I owe them big time.
(And yes, I'm going to keep working on accepting help, and building community. But for a first step? I think we've done brilliantly.)
Interns and help! That’s awesome! Glad you finally really accepted the help from others. I had to learn that too.
Oh – and you’re awesome.
October 11, 2010 4:42 am
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My god. You were so slow to get around to realising the obvious but thank fuck you did. Hope you are feeling more well rested about the whole hoolah now lady!
October 11, 2010 4:49 am
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Where have you been, lady??? You need to get a gravitar so I can see your pretty laughing face when you comment. The end.
October 11, 2010 9:39 am
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Oh bless you. I’ve sorta, ahem, moved though.
oneofthesemornings.wordpress.com
October 12, 2010 12:56 am
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oh and obvs i’ve been here the whole time. Can just be kinda terrifying to comment when there are like 200+ comments as opposed to the days of like 12.
October 12, 2010 12:59 am
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Oh, I hear THAT. But I miss you guys.
October 12, 2010 9:12 am
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Meg, I’m so psyched to see growth on APW, and to see that you’re creating a fabulous team of helpers to make it happen. Congratulations! Plus I have two new Twitter friends. Can’t wait to know you more, Lauren and Alyssa. Thanks so much for helping to make APW awesome-er!
October 11, 2010 4:53 am
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Congratulations, M. Well done.
And welcome, A and L.
October 11, 2010 5:39 am
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Yayayayay! I KNEW it! I saw Lauren’s name on a post in my google reader. Oooh so excited. And Meg, APW will always be scrappy because you are there, but now it’s scrappy^3, which is awesome because it can hit more people. Woot Alyssa and Lauren!!
October 11, 2010 5:40 am
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Hear that Alyssa and Lauren? HIT MORE PEOPLE ;)
October 11, 2010 9:40 am
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I’m on it, boss.
October 11, 2010 10:44 am
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This is super exciting! Growing a business to include more people? That’s some sweet success. And Alyssa and Lauren? Awesome!
October 11, 2010 5:50 am
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Wow, this is big and so wonderful. I’m really happy for you Meg and for the APW community. And saying welcome to Alyssa and Lauren doesn’t sound right, so I’ll say thank you for jumping on board the new APW team!
October 11, 2010 5:53 am
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woot woot!
margaritas for alyssa and lauren on meee.
October 11, 2010 5:56 am
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Not until you can partake too. Then we’ll Sykpe ‘n booze! It’ll be on like Donkey-Kong!!
October 11, 2010 10:44 am
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There is already a virtual drinking golf invite on twitter going on today. If only…. if only…
October 11, 2010 12:26 pm
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Such a great idea – and so glad you realised that for you, you needed to do it.
Looking forward to what this will bring…
October 11, 2010 5:59 am
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Congratulations to all of you.
October 11, 2010 6:22 am
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Oh Thank Goodness – Now go have an afternoon nap Meg! You were making me feel tired!
October 11, 2010 6:27 am
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Welcome ladies!
October 11, 2010 6:44 am
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yay! congratulations ladies :)
October 11, 2010 6:49 am
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Oh, excitinggg! Can’t wait to get to know you, Lauren and Alyssa!
October 11, 2010 7:07 am
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This is Great News! I had no idea how long you could keep the insane pace up. Glad you now have help. Great to meet the new APW ladies!
October 11, 2010 7:10 am
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Welcome to the team ladies! This is going to be so exciting!
Lauren, I was so confused yesterday when you were Christmas-Eve-excited for Monday morning, since you know we hate Mondays, but now! Hooray! And of course, Merry Christmas!
Meg, for the love of all the is holy, please go enjoy a sunny San Francisco day :)
October 11, 2010 7:20 am
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I’m down in LA at the poolllllll. Though I will probably work a little later :)
October 11, 2010 9:41 am
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Hooray! How exciting!
October 11, 2010 7:25 am
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I am truly, unbelievably excited. This is fantastic news! Yay TEAM APW! (omg. that is a seriously cool phrase.) APW just gets cooler and cooler.
October 11, 2010 7:43 am
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Yessssss! I was wondering how you were writing so much lately. I was like, that Meg is a super human. Now we all know that you have had some behind-the-scenes help and that’s SO awesome! Yay to the APW TEAM!
October 11, 2010 7:51 am
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I know when something’s your baby that it’s really hard to ask for help. BUT, the fact that you needed some help to save your health and sanity is an awesome testament to the amazing job you’ve done building this community. You rock, and hi, Alyssa and Lauren!
October 11, 2010 7:52 am
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It’s Thanksgiving in Canada and I am so thankful for having an awesome space like APW. Kudo’s Meg, on doing an amazing job with this site, and for being able to accept help. I’m excited to see the great stuff you and your team will produce!
October 11, 2010 7:55 am
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This is brilliant! It’s so exciting to have a Team APW!
October 11, 2010 8:13 am
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Lauren’s post about crazy straws killed me (and I immediately sent the link to my boyfriend, all like “see?! not just me!”). Welcome!
October 11, 2010 8:16 am
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Hahahahaha!! Oh if there is one thing I can do – I can make sure the irrational in all of us doesn’t feel alone. Awesome.
October 11, 2010 9:44 am
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DUUUUDDDDEEE. I decide that my husband doesn’t love me each and every month. Also that the world is ending and everything sucks. <3 hormones.
October 11, 2010 12:12 pm
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that’s why we need you here– you’re perfect :)
October 11, 2010 12:22 pm
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Congrats, Meg!! You deserve this.
October 11, 2010 8:23 am
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Awesome, Meg! The thing I found when I went from a “me” to a “team” was that it had the added opportunity to bounce ideas off of kindred spirits. Being on one’s own has its advantageous (until you work yourself to death, that is!) but it can be very isolating. So glad to hear that you have peeps working by your side (well, figuratively speaking).
October 11, 2010 8:27 am
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Congratulations on your new team, from another scrappy dont-need-anyone-else-to-help-me-I-can-do-it-all-MYSELF person! This is great, go get some chocolate and celebrate the awesome ladies in the new APW TEAM! YAY!
October 11, 2010 8:32 am
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This is FABULOUS and I am so happy. A: yes, you need help, and Lauren will keep you from exploding. B: you need content for this amazing blog, but you can’t do it all yourself (especially for all the still-in-wedding-planning stuff). And the Team (team!!) will help you with that.
I, for one, am PUMPED for Ask Practical Wedding Fridays, since that sounds awesome and interesting and a chance for all us APW ladies to do our advice-giving gig (which we love).
This is awesome news, Meg! And WELCOME, Lauren and Alyssa!! :D
October 11, 2010 8:35 am
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And thank GOODness it’s on a Friday so we can spend all weekend reading the responses, or there’s no way I’d make it to the next day’s post on time!
October 11, 2010 7:32 pm
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Fantastic. Best (volunteer) jobs ever.
October 11, 2010 8:35 am
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thanks god you get help!!! probably your health will thank you…..in the meantime, we will thanks to the team you will become and are right now…
Lauren, Alyssa, thanks for being there!!
October 11, 2010 9:12 am
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I just started reading and I can’t stop! Exciting news!
October 11, 2010 9:15 am
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I HEART LAUREN BECAUSE:
You help ALL OF US when you help Meg.
Yes, I’ve noticed that Meg has been doing a lot more writing this month, which is awesome. It’s why I still visit this site daily, even post-wedding. I love grad posts and other reader contributions (grad posts saved my life when I was drowning in the planning process, and I’m glad that they help those who are currently planning), but now my favorite posts are the ones by Meg herself. So your intern magic is allowing me to get more of what I need from this site. Basically, you rule.
I HEART ALYSSA BECAUSE:
The Ask Team Practical column sounds AWESOME. Totally psyched for that. Totally psyched for Alyssa.
Welcome, ladies! :)
October 11, 2010 9:26 am
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hooray for apw! thank you (in advance) Lauren and Alyssa!
October 11, 2010 9:32 am
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Hi Everyone!! All your comments are making me blush. The power of APW astounds me. I’m thrilled to be part of it. :)
October 11, 2010 9:43 am
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DUDE! It’s about damn time you got some help up in here! I seriously would be lost, lost, LOST without my Offbeat Editors. And that’s only in tiny part because of the work they do … the value of having coworkers and teammates to commiserate with is something I never fully appreciated until I spent a while working solo on Offbeat Bride. Congrats to everyone involved for the birth of the APW Team!
October 11, 2010 9:48 am
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I almost noted the time over dinner where you very nicely said, “Huh. You’re still doing it alone?” And then were like “blink-blink-blink,” and looked at me like, “Girl, you crazy.” I can take a hint, even if I’m a little… slowwww…. ;)
October 11, 2010 12:03 pm
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Hot damn! This is gonna be awesome.
More writing+more fricking hilarious people+more=the best.
Pro move Meg.
October 11, 2010 10:22 am
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YOU GUYS!! You’re all so nice, I’m so surrounded by love right now, I just want to roll in it like a puppy!
I’m so official that I even have my own APW email address. It’s Alyssa AT apracticalwedding DOT com. This way if you disagree with me or hate something I say, you can email me directly and ruin just my day and not Meg’s. (I can’t promise I won’t tattle. But Meg will just tell me to suck it up and relate a story that’s way worse than mine and make me realize I’m a sissy.)
The best part about this is it’s a move for APW to be even bigger and more awesome. (Well, the best part for me is that my mom is excited. But the whole APW growing and Meg getting sleep thing is good too.)
Send in your questions! Even ones you think are dumb, because they probably aren’t.
October 11, 2010 10:32 am
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I just exactly-ed you.
October 11, 2010 10:54 am
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I did you too. We’re our own mutal-admiration society.
We need t-shirts.
October 11, 2010 11:04 am
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“I’m with really awesome, cute, and funny lady”
October 11, 2010 11:08 am
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oh boy… it’s already come to this??? ;)
October 11, 2010 12:24 pm
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Caitlin – Oh, sweetie, it’s much worse. Once we found out about our mutual Firefly love, it was over.
October 11, 2010 1:26 pm
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We need an updated about page with email adresses for the ladies! That way people can send mean emails saying “you’re homophobic and a freak and now I’m going to kill a kitten and I HOPE YOU FEEL GUILTY,” to EVERYONE. **That** will be like internet christmas (ok, but not so much christmas for kittens…)
October 11, 2010 12:06 pm
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That sounds like a challenge. Let’s see who can get the most outrageous hate mail. Oh how funny it will be.
October 11, 2010 12:23 pm
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First one to cry has to buy the drinks at our first meet-up!
October 11, 2010 1:12 pm
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i request a wall of shame for these such emails. i always wonder what the bitter hags send you. since it’s usually all butterflies and rainbows on here.
October 11, 2010 2:18 pm
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Yaaaaaay! Meg gets help, we get more awesomeness, everyone wins!
October 11, 2010 10:54 am
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How incredibly exciting for Meg, Alyssa, Lauren, AND all of the APW-universe! I mean, less stress for Meg AND increased scrappy, sassy, smarty-pants content?! Internet Christmas indeed!
October 11, 2010 11:59 am
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This website kept me sane while I was planning my wedding – it was THE only website that had a blood pressure lowering effect on me and I will always love it for that. But it was only afterwards that I started commenting and to my surprise, I kept reading it – and that is not true of any other wedding site. There’s something about this place that attracts people who deal with life in all its lifey-ness in a way that keeps me coming back for more. Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that I am so incredibly pleased by the news that Meg has more help because that means more of the blog I love.
October 11, 2010 12:08 pm
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So much awesome I’m going to explode! Welcome and many thank yous to Alyssa & Lauren!!!
October 11, 2010 12:19 pm
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If by scrappy you mean FUCKING AMAZING then yes, you and APW are scrappy.
Well done, ladies.
October 11, 2010 12:25 pm
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I have a feeling APW is only going to get smarter, funnier, more down-to-earth and more awesome… which is pretty much unbelievable.
October 11, 2010 12:26 pm
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that is freaking fantastic news!
October 11, 2010 1:17 pm
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Awesome, awesome news. Congratulations on expanding & accepting help, Meg! Lauren & Alyssa, welcome!! I can imagine that APW is only going to get better & better~
October 11, 2010 1:38 pm
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Yay for Lauren and Alyssa!
October 11, 2010 1:40 pm
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Great work ladies!! x
October 11, 2010 2:07 pm
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This is awesome! I love that your Empire is growing. Team Practical should be a true Team Effort. Also, excellent choices right out of the gate.
October 11, 2010 4:13 pm
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AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH! I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T STAND IT!!!!!! Hoorah for Team APW and it’s partners. SO. FREAKIN. AWESOME. Ok. I need to stop the caps and exclamation points riiiiiight about now.
There. Done. So – huge yaaaay and shout for Lauren & Alyssa and I effing La-La-LOVE this blog! Oops. I lied. One more exclamation was required. *heeee* I’ve had wine.
Brilliant. Really. Unleash the fantastic. Well..*MORE* fantastic. You gals rock. xoxo
October 11, 2010 9:10 pm
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yay for help!! yay for alyssa!! yay for lauren!!
it feels like such a privilege to witness the growth of this community from when you started on blogspot to what you have here. i am grateful for this space every day.
October 11, 2010 9:16 pm
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This is exciting news! Sometimes I feel like I need to hire help just to get my daily dose of APW and read all of the amazing comments. :) Am I the only one who’s a bit OCD about reading all/most comments before commenting? Damn not getting to check it until nighttime!
I’m going to love having more sound, smart women to read on this site, I just know it. Welcome Lauren and Alyssa!
October 11, 2010 9:33 pm
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Interns for the readers! Done! Lauren… can you get on that…. ;)
October 12, 2010 9:05 am
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