Okay, so who do you APW stalk?
Come on, you know that you have at least one person on APW that you make sure to scan the post for their comments; even when it’s a heavy comment day and you’re running late and only have a few minutes to read. Because even if you don’t agree with them, the comments are always good and always seem to bring up that point that you hadn’t thought of, but one that TOTALLY makes sense.
For me, that’s Class of 1980.
So here she is with her thoughts on APW. Her post was written before this one, and she is very conscious of the fact that some may have taken offense to that post and might to this one also. Or that maybe you think APW is hitting you over the head about rings. (Ain’t she nice?!?)
Don’t. And we’re not. The pervasive attitude towards rings and the attack in individuality is what draws her ire, not anyone wearing a ring, large or small.
So go. Soak up the wisdom.
Or don’t; it’s okay, she won’t judge you for it.
I don’t remember exactly how I found APW, but it was when Meg was still in the planning stages of her own wedding. As I read backwards to the beginning, there were two posts that resonated with me because they were so poignant and eloquent. There was her post dated March 29, 2008 entitled “In which the WIC makes its first grab at my soul and wallet” and a post dated July 1, 2008 entitled “My ring and me”.
Meg wrote about pressure from jewelry salespeople and the unexpected reactions she got from friends about her choice of engagement ring – a ring she chose with great thought and was thrilled with.
If I could pick two posts from APW and plaster them all over the Internet, these would be it. To me, they sum up what APW is all about and they have a message that is sorely needed.
Meg’s ring story is an illustration of how our society has become so soulless and unimaginative, that beauty and craftsmanship take a back seat to something as vapid as perceived status and monetary value.
To choose something because it speaks to you, because it fits your lifestyle, your ethics, and your individual style does not even register as something to strive for. We suffer as individuals and as a society if mindless choices are rewarded with approval and thoughtful choices are questioned.
Taking an individual approach seems to threaten people if it means not falling in line with prevailing trends, yet most trends reverse themselves eventually.
Our country has been in a conspicuous consumption trend for a long time. It’s affected every part of life including weddings. And now we are beginning to see a trend going the opposite way because our level of consumption as a country was ultimately unsustainable.
(I am old enough to remember when a one-carat ring was considered “large” and now many people think two carats are standard. I remember when DeBeers told grooms to budget two months salary for a ring and now they tell them to budget three months salary.)
Personally, I am so very tired of the status game. It’s exhausting, pointless, and boring as hell. And it never ends.
Artistry, beauty and practicality feed the soul. Most people would be happier choosing a life full of experiences and things they truly love, and shedding personally meaningless things that just bog them down. And they would be less anxious too.
I think APW’s message is to encourage you to tune into the needs of your own soul and to make conscious choices about your wedding and your life. APW serves to quiet all the influences in society that don’t know the first thing about what is best for you.