When Megan emailed me, she said this, “I follow you, Maggie Mason and Heather Armstrong pretty regularly, and after all of the posts about life lists, I finally decided to get inspired and get after it. One item I really felt strongly about was getting my wedding on paper.” So, just for starters, I pondered making out with her and being her best friend. But it just so happens that she’s not just a flatterer who I’m totally on the same page with, she also wrote a wedding graduate post that totally ripped my heart out and left me a weepy puddle on the floor, reminding me exactly why I write about weddings in the first place. No, I’m not exaggerating. I still cry about wedding graduates sometimes, even after two and a half years. So first, I made Megan vow to start blogging again so we could all read her. And second, this one is for Paul. I raise my glass to you, and your clearly f*cking brilliant, wonderful wife:
Sure, I’ll be honest. I began planning my wedding before I was even out of the womb. From the dress, to the walk down the aisle with my dad, to the entire town of guests, to my first dance, to the party favors– it was all orchestrated (in my head) like a master card commercial directed by Donna Reed. But then things changed.
Paul proposed two weeks before Christmas. Two months later, my father lost his year long battle to cancer. The timing sucked, and rightfully so, this devastating event left us all exhausted and grieving. Though I’d looked forward to planning a wedding all of my life, for months following my father’s death it felt difficult and awkward to even attempt to muster excitement about doing so. Conversely, I also didn’t want to put off my wedding simply because I wasn’t in the “planning mood.” Paul had seen me through the most difficult year of my life, and I was ready to officially begin our journey together.
So, with the exception of one or two contributions (Okay, okay, four. Four contributions), Paul planned our wedding.
Bear with me while I quickly set the scene for this arrangement:
My (now!) husband and I are, well, VERY different. He’s a pacific islander (born and raised in Tonga) and fully embodies the spirit of the islander. “Laid back” doesn’t even begin to describe it. In contrast, I’m a landlocked Montana girl who would plan my own surprise birthday party if people would let me. By that I mean I would actually LEAD guests in the birthday song if no one appeared to be making it happen. In every task we’re presented as a couple, from the significant to the nominal, he prefers to simply let things play out; to “see how it goes,” if you will. I lean towards a more commandant approach.
Given that information, it came as a surprise to some (hi, Mom!) that I was willing to give up control and hand the reins over to Paul. Sure, I fought back a grand mal seizure when my husband said we didn’t have a guest list, but it got easier. No limo? Who needs it?! We have a minivan. No flowers? No problem, we’re in Hawaii! No rehearsal? Okay. No band or DJ? I guess that’s fine. No party favors? WE DON’T NEED PARTY FAVORS!!! (Deep breath.)
So what did I do to contribute to the day? I bought two plane tickets to Hawaii (where the majority of my husband’s family lives), invited our closest friends and family, rented a big beach house that I hoped we could fill with anyone willing to come that far, and said a Hail Mary that at the end of the day, Paul and I would end up husband and wife.
Other than that, I really left it up to him. On the morning of our wedding, I woke up, showered, put on my make up, did my hair, slipped on my dress ($150 bucks, online), grabbed the bouquet my mom put together for me with flowers purchased the day before at a grocery store (contribution #2!) and said, “I’m set.”
(A quick side note: I LOVED my dress. But the online experience, albeit convenient, ended up being fairly lame. I was by myself when it arrived on a dreary November day, and of course I tried it on RIGHT THEN AND THERE, which resulted in my “say yes to the dress” moment happening while standing on my bed, bent over at the waist in an attempt to get a full view in my dresser mirror.)
At noon, a group of friends and family (who filled the beach house, by the way!), all walked down to the beach for some pre-wedding photos, which were snapped by an amateur (but very CHEAP!) photographer that I actually found on the internet about a month before the wedding (contribution #3!). When we’d gotten enough shots, we walked back to the house, had a beer or two to kill some extra time, and then took off in a caravan of cars to the church. (Paul and I led the way in our rented mini-van.)
I was fairly quiet on the way to the church as I pondered how this whole thing might come together. With the exception of my few contributions, I’d put the entire day in the hands of Paul and his very traditional Tongan family. To add to my brewing anxiety, Paul’s parents had never met my parents.
(Sidenote #2: The fact that our parents had never met is very strange, I know. But when “soon to be” in-laws are thousands of miles apart – both literally and culturally speaking – it’s difficult to set up a meeting time. Now, had I been in charge, they might have met at something called a rehearsal dinner…but I wasn’t in charge, remember? Needless to say, this added to my already brewing panic.)
Secretly, I wondered and worried if I’d be able to hide any disappointment I thought I was bound to feel by not having things go exactly as I’d always imagined. Already, I’d lost that special “moment” when the bride sees the groom for the first time by the casual way Paul and I had accidentally run in to each other in the hallway of the beach house just hours earlier. I’d confessed this concern to my mother the day before; I knew she had also struggled with the potential replacement of “our” traditions with Paul’s family traditions. Would I regret this later, I asked? Would I always wish I’d done it my way? She calmly grabbed my shoulders and whispered, “It will be glorious. It will be just as it should be.” She trusted him. I decided to follow suit.
When I walked into the church (for the second time in my life), I fought back tears as I took in the entire scene. There were flowers, and traditional Tongan tapa clothes lined the floor like royal rugs. The “pre-wedding” music (that, in a last ditch effort to garner control, I had thrown onto a CD) was piping through the sound system of the church (contribution #4!). There were bows on the end of the pews. The reception area was completely set up and more than 40 of my fiancé’s relatives were there to greet us warmly with welcoming smiles.
Before I knew it, Paul and I (and the couple standing up for us) were decked out in traditional Tongan wedding gear. I met our ring barer (surprise!) seconds before we walked down the aisle (who was basically the cutest kid EVER). I met our vocalist (surprise!), whom I later learned had been part of the Hawaiian Opera Theater. (There are no words to describe how good she was.) Then the music started, and it was show time.
Though it was a bittersweet moment without my father, my stepfather of twenty five years walked me down the aisle – and I was so happy to have him by my side. While we walked toward the front of the church, I thought to myself, “Holy shit. Paul pulled it off. He really did it. This is it.” My closest friends and family were surrounding me, the man of my dreams who’d made it all happen was waiting for me at the end of the aisle, and everything was just as it was supposed to have been. Paul and his family had given me the most wonderful wedding I could have ever imagined. THIS was the moment that mattered.
After we kissed, Bob Marley piped through the church stereo as guests congratulated us with flower leis. The reception followed the ceremony and included a full spread of Polynesian food, a cake that was completely made and decorated by my husband’s aunt, and young girls in traditional Tongan attire who danced in our honor. My quiet husband even stood up to brave a few teary words, which he delivered in both Tongan and English.
The wedding and reception were over by early evening. Because it all took place in the church, there was no alcohol, so by the end of the day many of us were ready to put up our feet and toss one back. The sixteen friends and family who were there when the day began joined us for a mai tai at a beach side bar at the hotel where Paul and I were staying for the night. The Hawaiian trio playing mellow island tunes at the bar offered us a dance while others – friends and strangers alike – looked on. Turns out I got my first dance, after all.
When our friends decided to head back to the beach house for the evening, I gave each of my girlfriends one of the leis I’d been showered with by Paul’s family immediately following the ceremony. Turns out I got my party favors, too.
On January 1st, my husband and I will celebrate our one year anniversary. When people ask me about my wedding day, I tell them that despite being unable to take credit for nearly all of it, there isn’t one thing that I would have changed.
So, thank you to my husband, Paul, for planning our wedding. It was nothing like I’d pictured it to be all of my life. It was better.
Photos by: Kim Sinton
This is beautiful!
December 15, 2010 4:47 am
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Is it wrong that now I’m kind of in love with Paul too?
December 15, 2010 4:48 am
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In contrast, I’m a landlocked Montana girl who would plan my own surprise birthday party if people would let me. By that I mean I would actually LEAD guests in the birthday song if no one appeared to be making it happen.
Sister, I feel you. Substitute “landlocked Montana girl” for “uptight northeasterner” and you and I, I think, are twins. My husband is much more laid back as well (not quite as easygoing as your islander husband – he’s a New Yorker, for heaven’s sake! – but compared to me he’s very mellow. Of course, compared to me, MOST PEOPLE are mellow. :) I did do a lot of the planning but there were certain things that I just didn’t care about that either he did care about and took the reins on (like, for example, centerpieces), or he helped me understand that it was OK to not care about (like the flowers – we didn’t have any).
BTW, I LOVE YOUR DRESS. It’s awesome.
December 15, 2010 4:52 am
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Ha! Me, too! The husband to be is landlocked, too, but super chill about almost everything. After living together for 6 years, I think it’s actually beginning to rub off on me. Neuroses subsiding…amazing…
December 15, 2010 7:10 am
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Amen! My FI is a born and breed Alaskan – things run so much slower up here than my Denver life. It’s nice to have a calm rock in the storm!
December 15, 2010 10:02 pm
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What a beautiful wedding! Letting go and not being in control ALL THE TIME are issues I struggle with, and it is inspiring to see someone give up that control and end up so happy and fulfilled (also: gorgeous). This gives neurotic, controlling little me hope. Congratulations Megan and Paul!
December 15, 2010 5:07 am
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*happy tears*
this is one hell of a magical graduate post. and those photos? and those flowers? and her dress? stunning.
December 15, 2010 5:19 am
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Wow, add me to Meg’s weepy pile. This is so beautiful. Kudos to Paul, and Megan, I can only imagine what it must have felt like to totally give up control, especially to a very laid-back partner (I’m officially submitting for consideration a theory about the name Megan (in all spelling variations) and our *ahem* zeal for planning…).
December 15, 2010 5:20 am
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Hehehe.
Megan- thank you for sharing your wedding with us, here is to putting it on paper!
December 15, 2010 10:13 am
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damn*t, now I’m crying and I have to go to work!
December 15, 2010 5:25 am
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Even reading this, I’m freaking out thinking about what would happen if I just handed over the reins to my hubby-to-be. There’s just no way that I could do that, but that said, I probably could. Thank you for being so inspiring on this cold Wednesday morning. What a way to wake up. <3
(Also, our "dress moments" were very similar! I tried mine on on a blustery November day when it arrived in the mail ($50 including shipping and handling), except my fiance was there too. I slipped it on over my clothes and said YES!)
December 15, 2010 5:32 am
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I also bought my dress on the internet and tried it on by myself in my bedroom, standing on the bed and bending over because we don’t have a full length mirror. It was pretty anti-climactic, but on the plus side I didn’t have to go shopping!
December 15, 2010 6:32 am
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haha you guys! I also got my dress in the mail on a cold day in November, and did my jumping around in my bedroom by myself while Zach waited out in the living room.
December 15, 2010 11:41 am
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This is the first wedding grad post to actually make me tear up. Congrats to you and happy anniversary and thank you so much for sharing. All this is a reminder that I sometimes need to just. let. go.
December 15, 2010 5:35 am
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My first time crying too! (I’m not heartless, I promise.) How beautiful is this? And Megan, you were gorgeous and that dress was perfect! I hope you’re having another Say Yes to the Dress moment now as we’re all gawking at you. :) Congratulations and happy almost-anniversary.
December 15, 2010 6:35 am
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I am completely typing through my tears so please disregard any typos. This was simply the most beautiful wedding graduate story ever and I am filled with joy for you both and awe at your amazing husband. I heart you both!
December 15, 2010 5:37 am
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Lovely and totally made me tear up.
FWIW, my parents and my fiance’s parents won’t meet until the weekend of my wedding either. Now that people grow up and move far away from their parents, I think it’s more and more common. I live in one place in the country, finishing grad school, my fiance lives across the country from me, his parents live more than 10 hours from both of us, and my parents live in a completely different side of the country. We’re lucky we were each able to meet the other’s parents, let along have our parents meet each other.
December 15, 2010 5:40 am
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Our parents met at the wedding too – everyone was in the garden of the venue having tea and cake together before the service and they sort of found each other, plonked themselves down on a table together and got on with it! And to think I’d worried about it beforehand… :-)
December 15, 2010 6:29 am
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Our parents met just before the wedding, too. My partner is from Spain, where he and I lived for years, so at least I had been able to get to know his parents (and we had visited my family a few times for 2- to 3-week stretches, so he knew mine), but the parents had yet to meet.
My parents, while planning to have these new people–whose language they didn’t speak–as guests at a major event the first time they met, sent them a letter a month or two before the wedding. They actually didn’t include much info in the way of introducing themselves, but they did say that they were looking forward to meeting them and that they had raised an incredible man, who they were so happy to welcome into their family. His parents responded with a similar letter (email), saying they were looking forward to meeting them, seeing what an American wedding was like, and joining our two families. Lucky they speak English (though J and I are both professional translators, so we COULD have helped them out in that respect)! The letters were a nice way for the parents to not feel quite so nervous (and it turns out that both sets were totally nervous, which surprised us) about meeting. And over the week his parents were in town, the four of them bonded and even laughed and joked and hung out without us while we were on our honeymoon, so by the time my parents got to Barcelona for the reception his parents threw for us there, they felt like they already knew them pretty well and were therefore able to enjoy the reception and the city a bit more.
So no, it’s not all that uncommon for the parents to not have met until you give them a “good” reason to!
December 15, 2010 10:26 am
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::sniffle, sniffle:: Got all teary at work reading this. Beautiful.
December 15, 2010 5:47 am
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Oh man, getting teary before 8 am! A new personal APW record. Congrats, Megan and Paul– this was super wonderful to read.
December 15, 2010 5:48 am
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Oof. This was beautiful.
“Would I regret this later, I asked? Would I always wish I’d done it my way? She calmly grabbed my shoulders and whispered, “It will be glorious. It will be just as it should be.””
I love this. Exactly exactly exactly. I think that’s what everyone needs to hear: “It will all be just as it should be.”
Thank you.
December 15, 2010 5:50 am
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Agreed! That part made me tear up more than anything. That’s the kind of mom I have, and I believe everyone needs that person by their side at their wedding (and always). It doesn’t have to be your mother, but it’s nice when it is.
December 16, 2010 5:44 am
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Yeah, that’s where I started crying too. This post is powerful!
December 17, 2010 3:37 pm
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this is what I’m TALKING about! I too am a control freak who has handed most of the planning over to her dude. (I wanted to elope, and Bry gently said “can we please have a wedding?” so I told him that if he wants it, he has to do at least half the planning, haha.)
One of the things that’s driving me the craziest about wedding planning is how gendered it is; everyone assumes I’m dragging my partner to the altar and that our wedding planning consists of “I do everything and Bry shows up.” Everyone wants to talk to ME about a lot of the planning crap, but the fact of the matter is, I don’t know and couldn’t care less, and it is SUCH a relief.
I’m so over people letting their mouths hang open when I tell them that he picked the venue and he’s off dealing with the caterer right now or whatever. It’s WAY more fun having both of us involved in this process, at least for me.
December 15, 2010 5:51 am
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I can’t EXACTLY this enough!! My partner is also very involved in our wedding planning and is excited about getting married. How frustrating it can be when people assume that it’s always the woman pressuring her man to get hitched!
December 15, 2010 6:38 am
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Holy sh*t, this is my favorite grad post ever. I haven’t ever said that yet. I love that your husband planning the wedding meant that you and your family were welcomed into his family’s traditions in such a beautiful way, and that he demonstrated his love and commitment to you so tenderly by making sure all the right things happened. Happy upcoming anniversary, and best wishes for many more to come!
December 15, 2010 5:52 am
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this is beautiful. just beautiful. what an amazing husband you have. and I’m also a wee bit in love with your mum :)
this is my favourite wedding grad post yet. I’m all teary eyed at work which may take some explaining if anyone looks this way since I’m supposed to be reading EU reports…
December 15, 2010 5:54 am
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Wow. The wedding graduates this week have been stunning. These lines…
‘She calmly grabbed my shoulders and whispered, “It will be glorious. It will be just as it should be.” She trusted him. I decided to follow suit.’
…gave me GOOSEBUMPS and they continued while I read the rest of the post. Your wedding sounds so incredibly amazing and beautiful. Congratulations to you and Paul on your marriage and your upcoming 1 year anniversary!
And the group shot- I love the small child on the left that is airborn!
December 15, 2010 5:57 am
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So beautiful – and I am so floored by the loveliness of your calm, rational mother – good for her!
I am so sorry for your loss, but at the same time I cannot imagine how good it was for your relationship with your clearly awesome husband that he had the chance to do this planning for both of you, for you to learn this about each other. All the best for a very happy anniversary.
December 15, 2010 6:08 am
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Okay, weeping right now.
December 15, 2010 6:09 am
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totally made me tear up. congrats.
December 15, 2010 6:11 am
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this wedding is the embodiment of everything i’ve been learning about marriage lately. seriously.
in my type-A, perfectionist way, i want to be able to DO. and then i hit a wall where i just can’t. and i’m finding i can rely on my husband to fill in the gaps. it doesn’t always turn out the way i would have planned, but it always always always reaffirms my trust in his love.
amazing.
and, obv, you’re effing gorgeous.
December 15, 2010 6:17 am
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oh yes with your type-A perfectionist ways, I am too. And I’m still having a hard time letting go. I need more work on this. My fiance is ADHD and so his way of getting things done is much more…creative than mine will ever be so I just have to let it happen and trust that it will turn out ok. Any suggestions/strategies on HOW to do that?
December 15, 2010 9:17 am
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Honey, I hear you about being type A and trying to plan a wedding with a fiance who has ADHD. It’s tough.
When he starts to drive me crazy with his “creative” (nicely put) tendencies, I just close my eyes and take a few breaths, and think about all of the amazing and beautiful things that have come out the way that his mind works. Things that aren’t strictly wedding planning related, but the little every day things that I adore about him. Like the songs that he makes up on the spot, and sings to our cats while he’s washing dishes. Or how his tendency to think about 20 things at once at about 600 mph always enables him to come up with the funniest jokes out of the blue.
And when I do this, it becomes less about “letting go” of my way of doing things, and more about remembering that we are two very different people, but we really have a lot of fun making our lives together work on a day-to-day basis. Planning this wedding is not only to celebrate that, but really in the long run is just one of the many things that we are going to have to figure out how to do in a (God willing) long life of being together.
In terms of the ADHD, it has really helped me to learn more about the way that his brain works. I’m in the middle of reading ADHD & Me by Blake E.S. Taylor, and I’d recommend it to anyone who has a loved one with ADHD. Also, there are support groups out there for spouses of people with ADHD. Check it out.
In terms of wedding planning, what helped us the most is sitting down together and making lists of what was important to each of us. I’m an artist, and the aesthetics of everything are at the top of my list. R doesn’t care about that stuff. Seriously, he didn’t want to have decorations at all because he thought they would detract from everyone’s spiritual contemplation. But he really cares about writing the ceremony. So we divided up the tasks according to our interest. I’m still helping with writing the ceremony, but he’s the one who corresponds with our officiant and takes care of that side of things. I get free reign with the invites, table set up, etc. because I’m really excited about those things, and I just check it with him to make sure he’s cool with the choices that I’m making. (And because I’m type A, I check in with him about his stuff every night at dinner. I try not to nag, but I also make lists about everything. It’s who I am, and he loves me anyway.) With ADHD it’s all about following his interest, because that’s what he’s going to be able to focus on.
And seriously, look into a support group if you think it will be helpful.
December 15, 2010 1:25 pm
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P.S.
This was such a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing Megan. I feel totally refreshed after taking a break in the middle of my day to cry happy tears over it. I wish you and Paul so many blessings together!
December 15, 2010 1:32 pm
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I greatly appreciate the book suggestion, I am always trying to learn more about ADHD and how he works. It is validating to hear that you face some similar challenges.
Even though we’ve been together for over 6 years, it is still a matter of figuring out strategies and evolving together to make us work best.
December 16, 2010 6:03 am
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I love absolutely everything about this post, and this couple. Love it.
December 15, 2010 6:19 am
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Yup. I’m crying.
How beautiful – thank you thank you for sharing!
December 15, 2010 6:20 am
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Aw man I was proud of myself for holding in the tears and then I hit that last line… so beautiful.
Great wedding grad post!
December 15, 2010 6:20 am
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Just beautiful! What a beautiful day and a fantastic guy! Congrats to you both :)
December 15, 2010 6:27 am
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Greatest wedding ever. Wait, I know, they are all great. So to be precise, for me, sitting on my sofa in the morning in California, this was the best wedding read ever. I completely felt it all. And the photo of your mom and your now-husband, her looking up at him with so much love, made me tear up. Also, how gorgeous are you two? Can you get married again, just like this, and can I come?
December 15, 2010 6:28 am
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Oh my gosh. Add me to the list of weeping women. This was absolutely beautiful.
December 15, 2010 6:45 am
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This is one of my favorite grad posts ever. I typically am not as moved by grad posts now that I’m already married (just got married six months ago and currently I’m in that totally-over-weddings phase), but this one absolutely had my tears flowing. What a beautiful wedding. The family contributions are so heartwarming, and you can just see the happiness seeping out of everyone in these beautiful pictures.
Also, loved this line from Megan’s mom: “It will be glorious. It will be just as it should be.” I think that’s just about where the tears started.
A lifetime of happiness to Megan and Paul.
December 15, 2010 6:48 am
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I also ready Maggie, Heather and APW regularly and am trying to work on accomplishing some of my life list goals. One of mine was to plan a beautiful wedding, which I am working on now (May 7, 2011!!). It’s been hard for me to give up some of those dreams I had about what the finished product would look like in order to accommodate my partner and our families. Thanks for the “it will be just as it should be” because I sometimes get caught up in worry about whether I will have regrets about not having some of the elements I’ve always wanted (like a dance party). I think hearing the experiences of wedding grads who also didn’t necessarily have the wedding they thought they would is helping calm those fears. Congratulations on a beautiful day. Happy anniversary!!
December 15, 2010 6:50 am
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I have marry my best friend on my life list. ;)
December 15, 2010 8:11 am
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This is when I started to cry:
Would I regret this later, I asked? Would I always wish I’d done it my way? She calmly grabbed my shoulders and whispered, “It will be glorious. It will be just as it should be.” She trusted him. I decided to follow suit.
And… I’m still sniffling. This is absolutely the wedding post I needed to read. I’ve handed off the planning of my wedding (and let me tell you, my sister could not be more excited that she gets to plan another wedding!), and sometimes I worry that I’m missing out by not being more involved in the details. But if I were planning, I would be obsessing over every little thing and I think I’d completely miss out on the excitement and joy of getting ready to get married. Your post has renewed my confidence in my decision- everything will turn out just as it’s meant to be, with or without my involvement or obsessing.
Your wedding was beautiful! And I love that last picture.
December 15, 2010 6:55 am
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Just as everyone else is saying, your wedding is stunning. Just beautiful, really.
I love that you were able to give control over to your husband. I think of all the times that I try to do that and end up failing because he just.isn’t.doing.it.right. You’re story definitely shows that (the proverbial) he, can, in fact, do it right. So, thank you.
December 15, 2010 7:02 am
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Oh my goodness, that is fantastic! I love how your teammate stepped up to the plate and hit it out of the park when you were on the DL. Congratulations!
December 15, 2010 7:06 am
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Ha! Sports metaphors on a wedding blog. Well done.
December 15, 2010 10:05 pm
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I think there is something so romantic about guys doing stuff for their ladies in a way that is so completely different from how the lady would do it. It’s such a good reminder to never stop learning, and to never stop seeing the world with fresh eyes, and when those reminders come from genuine actions made by the person you love… it just makes me swoon and feel grateful.
Such a rad wedding. Congrats to you both :)
December 15, 2010 7:18 am
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I started crying at the part where your mom says “It will be glorious…”
I had a very similar experience, wedding thousands of miles away that I didn’t, families who didn’t meet until they were picked up from the airport, different cultural traditions, and online dress shopping… by my self. You wrote the post I was thinking of writing, and I don’t think I could ever do it as well as you. So thank you.
What a beautiful wedding, and how beautiful you looked! Congratulations!
December 15, 2010 7:19 am
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Wedding thousand of miles away that I didn’t plan! oops
December 15, 2010 8:51 am
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Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
December 15, 2010 7:20 am
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I am tearing up, on the train no less. Thank you.
December 15, 2010 7:22 am
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Your wedding is absolutely lovely! Congrats!
My fiance is doing most of the planning as well, though there’s significantly more of a split in ours and it’s for different reasons. He lives in the Northeast, where we are marrying, and I’ve relocated myself to Texas. So he’s doing a lot of the hands on stuff. And while I trust him, I’m extremely type A and uptight. So if he’s taking longer than I think he should to work on something (right now that’s the venue) I get super fidgety and start nagging him.
December 15, 2010 7:23 am
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Your dress is incredible. And it was fabulous to hear about your journey of letting go of preconceived ideas and embracing your “glorious-just-as-it-should-be” wedding that your husband planned.
December 15, 2010 7:25 am
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Amazingly inspirational post–not just for wedding planning, but for life.
Happy Anniversary!
December 15, 2010 7:38 am
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Dude. I like wedding graduate posts, I do. But for whatever reason, this one really . . . well, it stands out. It hits me in a way that many wedding graduate posts don’t, even though we had very, very different weddings.
This is why I don’t give two hoots about what photos are up on pretty sites . . . it’s the words that make it really ring true.
December 15, 2010 7:39 am
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This is so amazing! I would love to hand over planning control someday… although I’m still not sure my Type A personality would be able to stay out of it!
December 15, 2010 7:47 am
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::tears::
Isn’t it wonderful how a good man will step up and totally blow you away when they’re given the opportunity? Such a beautiful wedding. Congratulations :)
December 15, 2010 7:51 am
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Great post Megan, thanks so much for putting it all out there for us. I love the idea that things can be totally different than you expected, but still perfect.
When we were in planning-phase, Husband and I were trying to decide how much $$ to spend on our honeymoon. I was torn, the idea of a glamorous, exotic honeymoon was really appealing, but I could still see the better uses for the money – saving for a house, a few extra trips to see the nieces and nephews, fall back money in case one of loses their job. I asked my mom if she thought I’d be disappointed with a more budget honeymoon, if I’d wish we’d done something classy.
My mom in her brilliance told me that she and my dad now spend more money on one night in a nice hotel than they did on their entire honeymoon. She has no regrets, no misgivings. She said “It doesn’t matter if it’s fancy or expensive or cheap or trashy. It will be special because it’s *your honeymoon*. You’ll remember it fondly because you were there together and you were newlyweds, not because it’s posh.”
She was totally right.
December 15, 2010 8:06 am
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I loved reading this comment from your mom….. I am at the exact fork in the honeymoon-choosing road… will definitely take it to heart when deciding.
December 15, 2010 3:25 pm
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Sometimes moms say the best damn stuff.
December 15, 2010 3:45 pm
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This one made me tear up. I love how you were so incredibly trusting of your man…even when it was completely against your nature to relinquish control.
What a beautiful picture of what can happen when we simply let go, when we trust to absolutely to the one we’re letting go to.
Thanks for this, I needed the reminder to trust when I don’t think I can.
Happy almost one year!
December 15, 2010 8:19 am
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Another post that has me crying again, Damn you APW!!!!!
This:
“She calmly grabbed my shoulders and whispered, “It will be glorious. It will be just as it should be.” She trusted him. I decided to follow suit.”
and then, this:
“Holy shit. Paul pulled it off. He really did it. This is it.”
Megan, as a fellow control freak, I bow down to you as an inspiration on the wisdom and power of letting go!
What a wonderful, touching, beautiful, heartfelt, meaningful, incredible wedding you had!
December 15, 2010 8:23 am
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This is a really, really good one.
December 15, 2010 8:28 am
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I never even read graduate posts these days, and, um. I am totally teary. This is amazing. Congratulations.
December 15, 2010 8:33 am
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I am speechless. Which makes it hard to comment. I love that this is a story about trust. I love everything about it.
December 15, 2010 8:34 am
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Goose-bumps.
December 15, 2010 8:41 am
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