As you guys know, the whole APW team is in Utah this week at Alt Summit (I know. The perks of working for APW. Plus we’re all three meeting in person for the first time…ever.) So, we debated how to pick an Ask Team Practical post that was both interesting and not super inflammatory. We decided to save our upcoming posts on dancing, strippers and virginity for another week (fact). And instead Alyssa is here discussing sailing around the world, and books you should read in lieu of pre-marital counseling, if that’s not an option for you. Also, APW book club picks for February. Because we need a pick. So be nice kids, and pick a good book for all of us to read. We’re watching you from a hotel in Utah, so use your nice manners. And now Alyssa:
So, you know how you meet someone and they tell you something AMAZING about their life in a completely off-hand way, and you’re all “Shut up, you are not.”
And then they’re all, “Um, yeah.”
And then you have nothing else to say, because you’re DUMBSTRUCK that they are living the kind of wonderful, beautiful life that you can only dream of, and you go home and ponder how you can make your life amazing too.
“I’m 27 and newly engaged to my mate Prescott–and I call him my mate because we’re co-captains on our liveaboard 35′ sailboat. We haven’t been together too long (just a couple years), but living on a 35-foot boat together with about, oh, 50 square feet of living space you get pretty close. We spent last year sailing down the Pacific Coast together from Seattle to Los Angeles (actually we spent a few weeks anchored in Aquatic Park in SF), and now after stopping for awhile to work a bit, we’re setting off again. But first, 2 months before we’re set to leave, he asked me to marry him. So, in a sickeningly romantic fashion, we’re sailing off into the sunset together for the duration of our engagement (9 months). We’re headed south through the Panama Canal and up the East Coast to New York City. We’ll hit the East by June, moor the boat, and fly home to his parents’ place for a month to have a huge homecoming/wedding party!
Well, this all sounds just beautiful–and it is in so many ways. I can’t imagine a better or more appropriate way to spend my engagement than on a crazy adventure with the man I love–watching over each other, being quiet together, witnessing spectacular wonders of the world together, unfettered by the internet, wedding magazines, or even much contact with “those who have opinions.” [THIS is what I’m talking about. GAH! She’s amazing.—Alyssa]
“It may be the best idea ever–or it could turn out to be the worst idea ever–to plan a wedding while sailing offshore. The APW side of me thinks my head will be in exactly the sane place to make prioritized decisions about what I want. The WIC bloodline (and the OBNOXIOUS women at the bridal salons) say honey, that’s not possible–you simply can’t do it like that.
But I’m not writing to you about how the heck to plan my wedding or things to cut out or worry about or what. What I would love to know from you and your readers is whether any of you intelligent, thoughtful women have read any good books that could prompt some marriage-counseling-type discussions in our cockpit. Meg, I’ve already printed out your post on marriage counseling and the questions your rabbi asked you to consider–and we’re going to have our own counseling sessions with our boat kitten as witness and mediator. Perhaps this is a bad idea (do you need a professional around for this kind of stuff???) [Editors note: Professional Kitten? - Meg] or perhaps its just right. I would love whatever resources you all have come across in the marriage counseling/ preparation category. Because regardless of the fact that finding a dress I like in small-town Mexico might be a little dicey . . . I don’t want to overlook the really important stuff.”
So, ladies? Hit it. What has helped you on your way to this crazy thing called wedded bliss?
Also, we are gearing up for our next book club, so throw in your recommendations for those too! (New to APW book club? Check out the fun here.) And, GO!