Ok, so I get asked *a lot* why I don’t have more men writing for the site. The short answer is simple: they almost never send things in (even though enough men read this site that they recognize me on the street in San Francisco, and give me free tacos.) But the long answer is something like this: I’m not really sure that men think about weddings and marriage quite the same way that we do.
Once, for example, I had David write a guest post for APW, and he said that ‘your wedding should not be the happiest day of your life.’ Readers, of course, flipped out.. What if it WAS the happiest day of someone’s life? How dare he say that? And I turned to David, who shrugged, and said, “I just don’t think it should be the happiest day of your life, and I don’t have anything else to say about that.” Which? I love. Simple, and to the point.
All this is a long introduction to one of our only Wedding Graduate posts written by a groom. Harrison’s post is short and sweet and hilarious. Also? Their wedding was shot by Emily of Emily Takes Photos, who did the bride’s hair too… because what? She’s full service. (UPDATE: Harrison has just offered to write more for y’all. This was just his prelude. So stay tuned. The grooms are going to keep on speaking. RAD!)
The Where (though it was spring, so the grass was green, not brown)
Creative: Flying over the reception? The rubber chicken/chattering-teeth/flask instead of a garter? Choreographing our own first dance? How about keeping it all a secret? You should ask my wife about our engagement party.
Thrifty: Pretty standard affair, shopping around for catering, making some food ourselves, borrowing equipment, holding the event in a county park, paying $200 for a wedding dress, buying wine that was on-sale, etc…
I’d be happy to show you the spreadsheet containing attendance probabilities, bathroom equilibrium calculations, and dancer-density-expectation values…but that’s the boring stuff that only nerds like me and my wife enjoy.
Sane: That’s a bit like asking what you do to keep from dying…do you drive slowly? How about *not* jumping off of bridges, or permitting yourself to breathe when necessity arises. I suppose, if I were forced to pick just one thing, it would be well summarized in this story:
Early on, we discovered an advertisement in a wedding magazine for TheKn*t.com; it was a gaudy 2-page ad, consisting of 10 luminescent discs, each containing a single number (1-10) and a paragraphical token of wisdom. The title, you guessed it, “[The top ten things you need for a great wedding]” (OK, so I don’t remember the exact title).
Priority number 1 was “Looking good”, because everyone knows that looking the part on the “happiest day of your life”, is what really counts in a good marriage. Coming in at number 8 on the list, was “Being in love”. I was shocked that it would be on there at all, given that being in love has little to do with how good you look…but I was wrong. You see, being in love, it told us, exposes your inner glow which makes you (ding ding ding) *look good*. Our priority list (no doubt shaped by the yoke of society,) was:
- By the end of the day, we should be married…TO EACH OTHER.
- No casualties.
I suppose it was that priority list that helped maintain sanity (and the large friendly letters on our wedding-planning notebook, “DON’T PANIC”).
Photos By: Emily Takes Photos