Archive for April, 2011

Apr 2011

Yesterday I told you about Leah & Simon's joyful wedding with a tiny kid, that happened in Berkeley on Sunday. Hurrah! And I mentioned that teams of, well, wedding elves from all parts of their lives and online communities pitched in to make the party happen. One of those excellent magic-doers was Monogamy Wines, which provided all the wine for the party.

{Photo by David, of me}

Which we enjoyed (Mmm... yummy north coast Chardonnay, if I do say so myself)....

{Photo by Sweet Monday Photography}

... Rather a lot (side note: can we talk about the genius that is these drink umbrellas in the wine? The two year old girl I was palling around with... I'm always palling around with the littles... kept holding a pink one over her head and saying, "It's raining! It's raining." But I digress.)

{Photo by Sweet Monday Photography}

Monogamy Wines makes a North Coast Cabernet Sauvignon (I'm a particular fan of bold reds from California's North Coast), and a North Coast Chardonnay (which has a nice balance between fruity and crisp). But best, for the wedding scene, is their label, which proclaims "Truly, Madly, Deeply." And, if that's not the way you roll, or you like a little irony in your life, you can feel free to mix it up with their PromisQous label . Which is, achem, a blend of fruits.

{Photo by me, of David}

You can buy Monogamy Wine through the excellent Wine Sisterhood. I am a huge fan of supporting businesses who are doing awesome work in our blogging community, and I should say that allowing me to have a relaxing glass of white wine, while I attend a fabulous wedding of an awesome blogger? That's the kind of good work I can get behind. So go. Make your wedding Monogamous (or PromisQous ) and enjoy.

Posted in: Sponsored Posts | 7 Comments »

Apr 2011

May Weddings and Anniversaries

As you guys know, Columns Editor Alyssa has a monthly community feature on weddings and anniversaries, so we can all get to know each other a little better, and cheer on those about to be wed. As we're heading into wedding season, this feature is getting longer and longer, but more and more awesome. This month, as ever, I'm excited to see all the readers and regular commenters who are about to get hitched. But my heart just swells with gratification and happiness seeing all the happily married couples celebrating their anniversaries. Because that's what all of this is about kids—marriage. Now let's cheer them on. (And remember, this is an ongoing project, so if you'd like to be included, see the bottom of the post for details.)

Upcoming weddings this month:

Kahiwa and Grant (Team Grahiwa), May 5th, 2011; Blog: Team Grahiwa getting Hitched , Twitter: @kiwafruit

Katie T. and Rob M. May 7th, 2011

Anna (LV Anna) and Steve, May 14th, 2011

Danielle and Chris, May 14th, 2011

Emily and John, May 14th, 2011

Laura Holway and Ben McGinley, May 14th, 2011

Vanessa and Phil, May 14th, 2011; Blog: Into Something Rich and Strange

Cass and Andrew, May 21th, 2011; Blog: Boobs and Beer, Twitter: @cheshire_cassie

Emma and Kyle, May 21st, 2011; Twitter: @emmao257

Kim & John, May 21th, 2011; Blog: Domestocrat

Natalie and Eric, May 21st, 2011; Blog: Natalie - Post-Graduate Pie, Eric - The Other 87

Rachel C. and Troy C., May 21st, 2011; Blog: Chaos and Courtship

Sarah and Andrew, May 21st, 2011; Twitter: Sarah @purplecupcakes, Andrew @Flamingshoe

Tanya & Brian, May 21st, 2011; The Art Nouveau Bride

Neil and Caroline, May 22nd, 2011; Twitter: @CarolineEr

Kristin and Denver, May 26th, 2011; Twitter: Kristin @RockstarBakes; Denver @denverleonard

Amy and Dave, May 28th, 2011

cartascartas & peanut butter, May 28th, 2011

Shiloh and Christian, May 29th, 2011

And Anniversaries:

Dan and Bethany May 1st, 2010 Walnut Wedding

Marissa & Nick Welch (who are expecting a tiny practical person in December!!!!), May 1st, 2010; Blog: Paper Turtles, Twitter: @marissawelch

Meg & Dan, aka Anchor's Aweigh & The Husband, May 1st, 2010; Blog: Anchor's Aweigh!

Jami and Carrie, May 5th, 2010; Blog: Somewhat Bookish, Photo by Eva Russo

Lauren & Aidan, May 16, 2009; Blog: Lauren McGlynn Photography, Twitter: @laurenmcglynn

{More happy smiling faces after the jump. Including Alyssa's super young PARENTS!} Continue reading May Weddings and Anniversaries

Posted in: Uncategorized | 30 Comments »

Apr 2011

Ask Team Practical: Family Financial Contributions

with Alyssa

Y'all, it's Friday! Hurrah! And that means it's time for Ask Team Practical with Alyssa. Today we're talking about a tough question: what do you do if your parents want to contribute to your wedding, but aren't really in a position to do so? For me this is a question about wedding budgets, but it's also a question about adulthood. What do you do when you have to parent your parents? How do you tell your parents no - and not, "No, I don't agree with you," but "No, you can't help me out in that way, because I care about you, and that's not the best choice for you." There are no easy answers, but this is Alyssa, so we do get wisdom like, "letting their pride write checks that their butt can't cash." So happy Friday, and amen to that.

My wedding is next summer in my hometown in Florida. My fellow and I live in NYC, both in graduate school, and both broke in that hopeful, scraping-by way that as only graduate students can be. Sure, it would make sense to wait a year and make some money and then get married, but we've been waiting and we are ready to be married. [Editor's note: f*ck yes!] His family has given us a small wedding fund and we are creative, penny-saving folks so we are making it work with that money. Sure, doing it on a budget is sometimes stressful, especially from this far away, but that's cool, we all know that.

The problem is my family. They are the only ones living in the city where we are having the wedding and they are outrageously good at being terrible with money. They have a long history of painful money problems, including home foreclosure, borrowing tons of money, bankruptcy, and (in the last few months) job loss. We have made it clear that we are aware that they won't be able to help, but they continue to make promises of the "oh we'll make ____ work" variety, and I know, from them, these sort of things can unravel a lovely time. They are from the South, and feel on some level that they "owe" their daughter a wedding. I'm a big girl, and don't care if they can't give any time or money, but find myself sensitive to what will undoubtedly be their broken promises when I try and give them some way to help. While one side of the family is purchasing week-long beach castles, I worry that the other won't even come through with the three fans they have promised to rent.

So how to include all family members, when money is a ridiculously touchy subject, when one side has far more than the other, and when I am far more sensitive about my parents money problems than I should be at this point in life?

~Brittany

This is very tough. Your parents' hearts are in the right place, but as you said, they're gonna have trouble with the follow-through. This is another example of an area in which weddings do not change things; just because their daughter is getting married doesn't mean that your parents suddenly get better at handling their finances.

Let's start with finances in general. Have you had a serious talk with your family on what they are going to contribute? Families are notorious for being vague, they like to say things like, "Oh, we can pay for X. As long as it doesn't cost too much..." Anyone dealing with familial financial contributions need to nail down what exactly that "too much" is. Are they offering to pay for specific things, no matter the cost, or are they giving you a check? Will they contribute as the process goes along, or are you paying out of pocket and they're reimbursing you later? It's a tough discussion, but it needs to happen so that they are not saddled with a large bill they didn't expect and you are not left scrambling to find another vendor when they don't pay for your first one. Iron out numbers, how they want to pay, and when they will be paying.

Since you know there will be differences in the amounts that both sides contribute, keep those discussions private. If anyone asks, your parents contributed as much as they could and as much as you were comfortable with, and that's that. Letting either side know the details of the contribution is just going to set the stage for bad feelings; your family will be sad they couldn't help more and his family might be resentful that they are bearing the bulk of the budget.

As far as your parents' contributions, you've known they probably won't be able to help, and beyond that you've listed a lot of reasons that it is better that they don't. So, game plan! Continue reading Ask Team Practical: Family Financial Contributions

Posted in: Ask Team Practical, Budget, Friends & Relations, The Hard Stuff | 75 Comments »

Apr 2011

How To: DIY Letterpress

Today's post is from Mary, who got married on my parent's anniversary on December 28th (which is not exactly a common wedding date). She owes us a wedding graduate post (achem), but today she's here writing about the process of letterpressing her own invitations. The simple fact of the matter is this: most of you are not going to hand letterpress your invitations. But. Letterpress in increasingly popular, and it's also an art form. So, I thought it would be interesting to explore how it's actually done. A side note: Mary is discussing typesetting and letterpressing her invites, which is the oldest form of letterpress. For those of you who, like me, have graphic elements to your letter press invitations, your design will be made into a plastic plate, and that will be used to press the invites. But this, this is the core of what letterpress is, why it tends to cost a lot of money when you don't do it yourself (it's hard labor, involves heavy machinery, and incredibly time consuming) and why it's a little bit magic.

I need to preface this post by saying that I love paper.

When I was a kid, I would go to the bookstore and spend my allowance on nice journals even though I rarely wrote in them. I used to sit in the library and read quietly, deeply inhaling that musty-old-book smell. I was that kid who EAGERLY AWAITED back-to school shopping so that I could go home, unwrap everything, and neatly equip all my school binders. If you already think I'm nutzo, you probably don't want to attempt any of the following. Like most other wedding DIY guides, this post should have an ONLY IF YOU REALLY LOVE IT warning sticker slapped on it. (Editor's note: And oh, hey! Look! We already do!)

When I got engaged, I began my investigation into wedding stationery and found that letterpress was considered to be the Best of Wedding Paper (Editor's note: Though as discussed earlier this week, Letterpress isn't Jesus, and it's not what your grandma thinks is fancy, though it is an art form). It's one of those things I had never heard of before I planned my wedding, like charger plates and chiavari chairs. The portfolios of letterpress studios were absolutely breathtaking. I immediately knew that was what I wanted, but I felt ashamed when the indie wedding world accused, "Why would you spend so much money on something that people will just throw away?" I didn't have a suitable answer for them, and it was no matter because I didn't have five grand to drop on paper goods anyway.

I started resigning myself to Kinko's when somehow, I learned that my school, Dartmouth College, had its own letterpress studio in the basement of the library. The best part? All students and members of the community were granted access to the studio, its instructors, and its materials FOR FREE.

So in short, I spent several weeks, when I had the time, going to the studio each evening after classes and spending three hours at a time designing, typesetting, and pressing 100 save-the-dates, invitations, reception cards (which I ended up redoing since our reception site changed over the summer), response cards, and thank-you notes. I would leave the studio with my feet aching, my fingertips dry, gritty, and splotched, but feeling like I had accomplished something superb.

A true step-by-step post probably wouldn't be productive for two big reasons; first, I didn't take step-by-step pictures while I was doing my pressing (and you really need visuals to explain this), and second, because it's a rather technical process and I don't want to bore you all. So instead, I'm just going to give you the gist of the process and several pointers and takeaways:

Continue reading How To: DIY Letterpress

Posted in: How To | 20 Comments »

Apr 2011

Wedding Graduate: Abi & Eddie

I love Abi's post because she talks so wisely about the way we journey to our wedding, how we have to do the work to "reach the point that you knew existed all along." Which is so true. Plus, halfway through Abi's wedding graduate post, she starts talking about having a meltdown over barn weddings 'not seeming feasible' and I started cracking up. I know, terrible right? But in this age of indie-rustic-chic-weddings, who hasn't been there? Who hasn't had a meltdown seeing something on a blog, and then trying to replicate it, and then realizing that it would cost a million dollars and require a small production team to pull off? So here is a love song to the journey to your own truth, and to simple weddings that are actually simple.

I started out like most brides probably do. I ignored any and all duties and began scouring the internet for venues, dresses, caterers and bands. I set aside school, dog walking, dinners and even my poor fiance while I delved into the once unknown world of trendy online wedding blogs. I denied that I was working hard on this event, or that I was trying to plan anything spectacular. When people asked I would say that we weren't in any big hurry to get married and we would just see what we found.

The truth? Having gotten engaged in February and being in the middle of nursing school, I was internally freaking out that if I didn't have my wedding over the coming summer, I would have to wait an entire 16 months from our engagement until the following summer and I just didn't want to wait that long. A winter wedding maybe over my school break? I looked at romantic and beautiful snowy venues but soon realized that it would cost a fortune to have everyone inside and I could hardly ask my friends to fly to San Francisco only to be caught on Donner Pass in a freak snow storm with no chains.

After 2-3 months of trying to squeeze my budget and time frame into the beautiful world of weddings and other brides (with bigger budgets) that I was seeing online, my head began to spin. I had had it with the wedding industry dictating what I "should" do and tacking on several thousand dollars to every service once the word "wedding" passed through my lips. I felt like every idea that I had was shot down as being unrealistic for our budget, and that nobody had solutions for me, only potential issues like, "that venue is too small" or "too far away" or "too expensive to get to".....agh! One night I finally cracked under the pressure that I didn't even know existed and began a good solid crying session after a discussion with my mom about how a barn wedding without a caterer just didn't seem feasible.

After some wonderful consoling from my soon to be husband, we remembered that this was supposed to be fun. Right then and there I decided to do everything in my power to have a wedding without enlisting the help of "the industry". I knew that I could do it and that it could be simple, I was just going to keep my vision and not get distracted. Once I reached that point and made that decision, it was as if opportunities just started falling in my lap. Continue reading Wedding Graduate: Abi & Eddie

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 36 Comments »

Apr 2011

Little Borrowed Dress: High Quality Rental Bridesmaid Dresses

All right ladies. Let's talk bridesmaid dresses. More specifically, let's talk Little Borrowed Dress, one of the best bridesmaid dress ideas I've seen in a long time. Little Borrowed Dress lets your bridesmaids rent super cute, high quality dresses, for just $75. Then, at the end of the weekend they can give them back. (Which is also green and not wasteful. If, you know, they might not wear their bridesmaid dress over and over and over, coughcoughcough.) Or, if they adore them because they are so cute, they can buy them too. Options!

So let's chat. About a month ago, I was lucky enough to have the chance to meet Corrie, the entrepreneur behind Little Borrowed Dress in person, and I got to play with the dresses. And ladies, you want to do this. The dresses are beautiful, they are in absolutely pristine condition, they are silk, and they are flattering. That, and all of your customer service is coming through Corrie herself, who is a dream to work with.

During our long chat over many cocktails, which we totally did not spill on the beautiful silk dresses, Corrie told me that some brides thought they couldn't use Little Borrowed Dress if she wasn't hosting a trunk show near them. Not so! First off, some of you are clearly more industrious brides than I was, because I would have just placed an order to rent these dresses and then run around the house yelling, "I WON I WON I WON I WON." But Corrie knows not all of you are like me, so you don't need to do that! (Though you should totally run around the house yelling anyway.)

You can order a completely free fabric swatch, if you want to look at the fabric and colors in real life (no charging you $15 for a few inches of fabric here). Corrie has a pet peeve about how fabric swatches should be free, and I agree.
Plus, you can now try on dresses at home. For a super small insurance fee of $5 (offset against the price of the rental when you mention APW), and the price of shipping. Corrie will send the dress to you, so you can check it out and have your maids try it on in advance of the day. Ship it back, place your order, and you've got a dress ready to go.
Plus, Little Borrowed Dress will send you a fitting dress that is in your actual size, so you can make sure it works for the actual wedding. (It may not be in the color you want, but she will send the fabric swatch).
Any problems? Contact Corrie (she's a doll).

This makes the ordering process so easy that you'd be crazy not to use this for your bridesmaid dresses. Particularly because the dresses are so cute.

When I looked at the dresses, I fell in love with the Eliza, below. It's super cute, and is one of those looks-good-on-everyone styles. You should browse all of their dresses (I'm also fond of the Joanna), because you might have different taste than I do, but seriously. Cute.

Now, Little Borrowed Dress is introducing a new range of colors. They now have black bridesmaid dresses (yes!), but I want to marry the Azure (above), and I think you need the grey. So now you have tons of options on colors, and you still don't have to make your girls buy their dresses. We are winning the wedding world today, ladies.

So go, browse, enjoy. Affordable, rental dresses, that help keep your wedding green and waste free? It doesn't get better than that.

Posted in: Sponsored Posts | 19 Comments »