Y’all are in for a treat. Today’s post is a wedding graduate post written by the groom. And I have, in fact, thought quite a bit about weddings and gender relations, but for some reason lightbulbs kept going on over my head over and over again as I read this post. I wanted to go back in time, and plan our wedding all over again, and this time understand where David was coming from much better. It made me laugh, and it made me smarter. Does it get better than that? Jordan’s wife Sara writes at Eco-Vintage Weddings, but today it’s all Jordan, all the time (and lucky you):
I’m sure there are many grooms are out there, like me, who dreamed of having a perfect wedding some day.
No, okay, me either. Before I considered a wedding seriously with my wife, I (being serious) really wanted to have a projector dedicated to updating fantasy baseball stats throughout the day. Now that did not happen, nor did I request it. But, I did turn out to have a pretty awesome wedding all said and done, mostly thanks to my very talented wife.
When my wife and I began to consider an engagement, the typical wedding-related conversations started. My wife, Sara, had all these details in mind – colors, décor, dress, rings, and church, among many other things. I had two things in mind: honeymoon and cost.
I did make a small push for a destination wedding that failed, based on the requirement that family needed to be there. (Which was valid, given how close we are with our families, especially Sara.) This left us at our very first financial crossroad as a couple, and we came to the conclusion that we wanted a personalized wedding, but with costs that were within reason, and we had to pay for it in cash.
After this point, almost positive that my creative touch would start and end with the engagement, I decided I needed to put as much into it as I could. Long story short, she got a message at work in the form of two dozen roses and a small note with a clue. These clues lead to other meaningful (to our relationship) gifts, along with more clues, which led her eventually to me. When she arrived at my destination (the local waterfalls), I said some great things, got down on one knee, asked her to marry me and she said yes (HOT DOG!).
Much to my surprise, that was not the end of my wedding planning career. Sara is a very creative person who knows what she wants. Since I did not have those wedding-day dreams, I didn’t have many strong opinions, as I’m very breezy by nature. But, one of the things I learned through our wedding planning process was that Sara was very capable of sharing her fun with me. There were times I did not want to share in “the fun” (centerpieces?), but there were plenty of times that I was very happy to help, and we definitely bonded through the process.
I enjoyed taking part in some of “the fun,” including designing our own invitations, ceremony programs, and other print materials on my computer. To complete our ceremony program project, Sara and me holed up on my makeshift bed/couch in my 250 sq. ft. apartment in June with no air conditioning. Some of the other “fun” was hearing Sara gush about her dress (that I wasn’t allowed to see), or being able to make wedding-related decisions based on Sara’s research.
But, the best part of the wedding planning was that we were able to put together an amazing wedding that generated many compliments, and we did it on a budget that never had to get stretched. We never used the credit card, we never had to skip meals, and we never had to make drastic cuts in our daily spending. We splurged on some areas (our reception space – a museum – and a yummy taco bar), and we got creative with others (our iPod was our DJ, and we made our own photobooth wall, among other DIY/DIT projects). The experience of planning our wedding led Sara and me to believe in each other, and in how talented and committed we were. We really created something from nothing, and we survived the highs and lows of wedding planning with each other.
The real wedding day for me started once I put on my tux. I shaved, fixed my hair, and everything became very clear. I felt amazing. What really stands out to me about the wedding day now is that I felt an overwhelming calmness about the whole process. I was nervous about remembering all the steps I needed to take during the ceremony, but I was excited about marrying Sara, and I was confident from the moment of the first look.
Sara came up with the first look concept that was special and intimate for us, as we decided to do pictures before the wedding. I sat waiting in the front of the church facing forward, and ten minutes later (it felt like hours), the door opened in the back, and I could hear my wife walking towards me. Eventually, I felt the sweet touch of her hand on my shoulder that gave me chills, and I got my first look at my wife in her wedding dress. She blew me away. She was gorgeous. She was strikingly beautiful, and I felt like I just won the lottery. Of all the fun we had that day, I’ll remember that moment forever.
Looking back at all of it, the only thing I wish I had known during the planning process was that I could trust us to keep within budget. I was always fairly stressed about it, even when I didn’t have to be. However, this was almost a blessing in disguise as I was continually surprised by how we were so responsible and conscious of our decisions.
Almost one year after the wedding, there are three things that really stand out to me. First, surprisingly to me, was Sara’s dress. She was a knockout. The dress fit her personality, it fit her style, and it made her look (and feel) more gorgeous than she already is. Second, the pictures were perfect, primarily because we had photographers that were personally invested in our wedding. Creative Kindling, our photography team, consists of Kara and Aaron, a husband and wife team who went to high school with Sara and are rather new to the wedding game, although you wouldn’t know it by looking at the pictures! Kara and Aaron took the time to take pictures that we wanted (as crazy as our ideas may have seemed), and they had the creative knack to take some that they knew would be awesome. They did a wonderful job of capturing the day.
Lastly, the detail is something that I’ll look back upon fondly. I said to Sara hundreds of times that every little detail would not get noticed, so she should not stress over every last one of them. While this still is true, I was shocked that while I cannot recall each and every last detail of our wedding day, I will always remember the unique style, look, and theme of our “eco-vintage wedding.”
What didn’t end up mattering to me in the end, was any of the money that we spent. It really is as simple as that. It could have been a different story in the end, but we ended up making every penny work for us, and we made it a special day.
The whole experience of planning our wedding really cemented what is great about Sara and me. We are both interesting people who like to put a certain amount of effort into something we’re passionate about, and in terms of the wedding, we put enough effort in that when we were done, we were confident that our supportive friends and family would take notice and appreciate our “art.” And they did. But even more importantly, we were both extremely happy with the end product, and that is all that really matters to us. Our wedding proved to us that we were (and are) a team: a damn good one.