Dear Team Practical, can you please give me some suggestions for incorporating Jewish and Christian wedding traditions in my upcoming interfaith wedding?
Need suggestions for dos and donts for helping my stepdaughter plan her second marriage wedding which she wants to have in my backyard. I do small event catering and our backyard is aprox 1/2 acre on a lake. Any advice or warnings will be appreciated, other than Don’t Do It. Kinda have to.
Question: How does one go about combining a small, private wedding and a large reception?
Long story (if you’re actually going to post this, please feel free to cut any superfluous material out): My fiancee (Tomas) is Czech, I’m American, we live in the Czech Republic and will continue to live here. We’ve decided to have our wedding in the US. Probably, the only people on the “groom’s side” will be his mother and his sister and sister’s family. Poor guy probably won’t even have a best man to stand up with him. On my side? Let’s just say I have a huge family and would like to invite everyone I’ve ever known (Hey, I only get to visit the U.S. every couple years! I want to see everybody!). Tomas says he doesn’t want to feel like a guest at his own wedding, surrounded by people he doesn’t know. Fair enough. Compromise: One ceremony, two receptions. A ceremony with only our families, plus four of my friends who Tomas has befriended on our travels (one of them acting as officient, and another playing the violin, by the way). One reception immediately following the ceremony with all my family and friends, one after we get back to the CzR with all his family and friends. We’re spending all our money on plane tickets. My family is totally bankrupt and can’t give us anything. His mom can’t spend any more on us. All the parks are booked. Tons of complications (I won’t go into). We don’t want to do it in a church (too religious), or a courthouse (not personal enough). Anyhow, we decided we’ll hold the American reception in my brother’s backyard. Where to do the ceremony? Every option seems lame. We don’t really want to have a long ceremony with a lot of whoop-de-do, just short, simple, meaningful and to the point. But it seems to be stupid to drive somewhere, hold a ceremony for fifteen minutes (if that?), have a toast, and then drive to the party. If we were inviting everyone to the ceremony, I’d say just let’s have it in the brother’s backyard… but that sounds awkward (“Sorry, you can’t come in yet, we’re not finished!”). Either that or have the reception scheduled for much later than the ceremony – which sounds super anti-climactic to me. Also, due to money issues (see above), we’re going to make this a pot-luck BBQ reception, which means people coming in and bringing dishes, etc. Any help? Please!
P.S. In case it matters, my family is super religious (my dad’s a pastor, actually), and Tomas’s family is athiest and agnostic… and I’m something like agnostic. Don’t know if that matters, but it’s in the mix with the complications.
P.P.S. We want to have the ceremony and American reception on the same day.
Question: My girlfriend and I are starting to craft a ceremony that is short and sweet and meaningful. We are going over readings in our parents’ weddings, finding poems from our favorite poets, etc. One thing that we are both really struggling with is that it won’t be legal. I’m heartbroken about this, and I am working through my own process so that I won’t be sad on my wedding day (ew!), but we are trying to find a way to acknowledge this without it taking over the ceremony. We have decided against reading the ruling in Massachusettes, although other friends have done that. My actual question: Is it okay to “jump the broomstick”? It feels like cultural appropriation (because we’re both white), but we also wonder if give both marriages aren’t/weren’t legal…. I don’t know!
Is it horrible for my younger daughter to plan her wedding for the week after her older sister? There are extinuating circumstances that make the month on May the only time for a wedding or she will have to wait another year and a half. I want both of my girls happy and I want both of them to have her very on special day! The older daughter’s wedding is set for May 18th, the younger daughter has not set a date yet. I just don’t know how we can handle the planning of two weddings and give each bride enough attention. The girls will be each other’s maid/matron of honor. So they will need to be focused on 2 weddings at once also. What do we need to do?
Dear Team Practical,
I have an amazing boyfriend who I love,(we’ve been together for 6 years living together 3 years) and we’re going to get married at some point in the next 12-18 months..I say this because we talk in detail about the wedding we want, apparently he talks with his financial planner about it too..which is why I know that it’s going to happen next year. He’s the bread-winner and the other week he let me know what my wedding budget is.(and it’s good!)Over Christmas he let me know that while he was talking to his financial planner they decided that tentatively we’re going have kids in two years…which we have also talk about, but not a definitive time line…so as you can see he’s a planner.
So what’s really getting me at this point is
1.I think I should meet this financial planner. I think of him more like a fortune-teller at this point.
2. We have all these kind of plans…but no ring..no engagement..he’s kind of doing things backwards…usually the ring comes first then the budget then the planning..then the serious kid talk.
I could use some practical female insight here I think.
Hey Team Practical,
After being engaged for three whole weeks, MFH and I have the book, read it, wrote all over it, love it, and are reveling in the freedom it is giving us to plan the way we want – a wedding for all those we love in six months time. However, last night I went to a dinner party consisting of almost entirely married and engaged women, and they all reacted with horror at the fact that I am planning a wedding in less than six months time (also, on a Monday, as my partner is an actor and most of our friends are as well). How do I deal with the backlash? More importantly, can planning a wedding in six months be done?
I turn to you, wise bloggers!
Suddenly Scared Bride
The stories we're told often look a hell of a lot different from the stories we're living. So next month, let's talk about the place where expectation meets reality. (Reality is often much more interesting.)