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Two Years Ago Today…


by Meg Keene, Editor-In-Chief

Two Years Ago Today... | A Practical Wedding

Our wedding anniversary is my favorite holiday. In all the hubbub leading up to getting married, no one told me the secret: in getting initiated into the tribe of married ladies, I was gaining a holiday that I’d never had. Anniversaries are like Christmas, but only the two of you know it’s Christmas. Or Thanksgiving, when the rest of the world doesn’t have the day off. It’s just the two of you, getting drunk, giggling together, talking about how lucky you are to have each other, trading presents, eating a nice dinner, and thinking about where you’ve been and where you’re going.

And for us, that’s today. Two years ago, we got married, in a raw, joyful, exuberant party, where all of the people we loved gathered in one place to watch us make some huge vows. It was important. It was enormous. I never want to do it again. But two years later, I don’t find myself reflecting much on the wedding. Like I said last year, these days the wedding feels like a gift, like a beginning. Today, two years later, I find myself reflecting on where we’ve been and the life we’ve built together.

I’m thinking about a year ago, when we were in Rome, fighting, adventuring, drinking a huge amount of wine, laughing hard. I’m thinking about how, in the last two years, David graduated law school, passed two bars, got a job where he is building a practice and is allowed to build a home life as well. I’m thinking about how David supported me through a job I found emotionally difficult, how he pushed me to write a book proposal, to power through the hard parts of selling the book, to write the book, to quit my job, to build a business.

I’m thinking about how our relationship has grown, as we continue to work to build the kind of life we want and tell lots of jokes along the way. I’m thinking about the way being married has made me a braver person. How David makes me buy international plane tickets (not just sit on the couch freaking out about how I’d like to travel, but it’s too expensive). How he tells me that life is too short to not quit my job. How he tells me to stop worrying and enjoy what we’ve got.

So when I look back at our wedding day, I see a gift. Because if that one amazing, beautiful day laid the foundation for what I’ve got now, how can I be anything other than profoundly grateful?

So this is to my husband, to our not-so-new-anymore family, to us. May tonight find us with glasses of wine in our hands, laughing, and celebrating the journey. As beautiful as our wedding pictures are, these days they seem like just a glimmering hint of the blazing sunlight ahead.

Photo: Our wedding by One Love Photo (As with all of our wedding photos, I ask that you please not re-post them. Thanks.)

Meg Keene

Meg is the Founder and EIC of APW. Her first book, A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration, was published in January 2012, and has been a top three bestseller on the wedding bookshelf ever since. Meg has her BFA in Drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and son. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com.

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  • cartascartas

    happy 2nd anniversary, meg and david! and to many, many, MANY more :)

  • jocelyn

    Awesome post, so very very true. Happy Anniversary Meg and David!

  • http://cobaltandblue.blogspot.com ML

    Happy anniversary to you and david. Wishing you all the love, good health and happiness in the world!

  • http://pianobi.wordpress.com pianoB

    That’s exactly why I’ve never wanted to call and will never call the day of my wedding ” the best day of my life”.

    Happy anniversary from Italy!
    I’m looking forward to celebrate my first in a couple of months.

  • http://www.squirreled-away.com Ashley

    Happy anniversary Meg and David! Thank you for continuing to share your lives with all of us readers. Your love, strength and growth helps us all!

  • Anon

    Going Anon for this one–

    Thank you Meg, for this post today. I really needed this joyful, sunburst of a post today.

    We had our wedding a couple of months ago and I am smack in the middle of a huge post-wedding slump. No, make that a full-on depression. On top of feeling depressed, I’m feeling guilty about feeling depressed!

    It has nothing to do with my new husband or our marriage: I love him so much, and am beyond grateful that we are IN IT TOGETHER. Our relationship is solid.

    Nor is it about our life in general… we are beyond blessed. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, other than (even beyond the wedding) there has been a tremendous build up to this summer with some really transcendent highs. In the last 1.5 years I started graduate school, started my own business, got engaged, finished a professional project that was really an opus, got really into shape and then pulled off our wedding, which I loved every single second of. I have one of Those Birthdays coming up (one of those that puts you into a new marketing demographic and puts you over the reproductive hill). And now we’re…. what? We are kind of pausing between life chapters, and I feel a bit like I’ve gotten to the top of the stairs and stumbling because there isn’t another step. I guess I am afraid that our wedding was the happiest day of my life and that it is all downhill from here. I know in my head this is stupid–and your post is helping me know it in my heart too.

    All of this is exacerbated by both my sweetheart and I being at professional crossroads (I was just offered a full time job last week, and he is up for a big promotion). I know, I know, life is GOOD. So why am I crying?

    Thanks for letting me figure this out “out loud.” Somehow knowing all of you wise women are in it with me helps… and any words of wisdom from those who burned this particular bridge when you got to the other side–as Meg and David have done–would be much appreciated. By the way, I am not melancholic by nature, I am as buoyant as they come so this is really a weird time.

    • Cass

      All of the stuff you’ve been through in the last 2 years is such a BIG DEAL. And now it’s weird relaxing/riding the wave. But that’s OK.
      Are you happy with where your decisions have put you? Is it better than before? Then this is exactly where you wanted to be. Take some time to not work so damn hard. And if you feel bored with less to do, take up a hobby, get a pet. Go traveling together.
      Just don’t worry about being bored after doing SO MUCH for so long. And certainly don’t feel guilty about all the hard work you’ve put in, to be in a position where you aren’t working so hard anymore.

      • http://bunniesnbeagles.blogspot.com Ms. Bunny

        Oh Anon, I feel much the same way. I look around at my life — newlywed, job in my field, health, roof over my head, etc. and I know I should be happy. But so much feels trapped in limbo right now. Decisions that I can’t control. And it sucks and is sending me down into a depressive spiral.

        I have hope these things will get better. But it’s hard at times dealing with it.

    • http://poppiesandicecream.blogspot.com/ Amanda

      Anon,
      I do not know if my advice will be helpful. Perhaps you feel like this because somewhere inside you , unconsciously, you feel that now that you’ve accomplished all these goals (business, professional project, wedding, MARRIAGE , new job, graduate school) that few great things life are left for you? Perhaps you are overwhelmed by all of it and this is how it is showing?
      But don’t be afraid, like Meg shows, like it has been said, you can always be a child at heart. You can always choose to be joyful. And I know when you are depressed this is hard to do, but try to choose 1 thing at a time that makes you happy (like taking photos, baking, going for walks, writing…) and focus on that. Force yourself to focus on the positive, -and don’t beat yourself up, it is also OK to be sad sometimes, it is only human. You will figure this out, and you will get out of this “black hole” better and richer and happier.
      Sending you all the best energy and wishes.

    • Amy March

      It can also be very difficult to transition from a time when every second of the day you were busy, or could have been working on the wedding, or should have been studying, to one with Free. Time. There are so many more steps for you in life, and the fabulous thing is that you no longer know what they will be! No one is telling you what to do next or how to do it. It took me a full year to recover from the stress of grad school and realize that it is okay to just be living for now, with no big plans or goals for the moment. Instead, I’ve focused on little things, like taking dance lessons again, and boozy brunch book club, and planning the first vacation in years that hasn’t been just to visit friends.

    • http://lloydandposey.blogspot.com sara

      You’ve had a busy and exciting time, so it’s normal to feel a little slump. I know that to me it feels so selfish to be sad when everything is seemingly perfect, but being bummed is sometimes just part of life. Try not to beat yourself up over the way you feel. Feeling sad about feeling sad is the worst – be extra nice to yourself these days.

      Oh, and congrats on the job offer! :)

    • Class of 1980

      Would it help if I told you there is no “top of the stairs”? There really isn’t. And there is no end to happiness either.

      You’re just experiencing one of those confusing times. There is no end to those either. ;)

    • ElfPuddle

      *hug*

      What the wise ladies above me said, too, but mostly

      *hug*

    • http://www.jclawgroup.com/blog/ Jeena

      Anon,

      You accomplished so much in a very short period of time. I think it’s only natural to feel depressed at the loss of not having that constant sense of struggle. (I know, it’s weird.) I feel that way too. I am asking myself – well, now what? My business is at a point where I don’t have to constantly worry about being homeless, I have an amazing husband, great family and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don’t have any great solutions or advice except to say you aren’t alone.

      • Manya

        Thank you all– I think the post-wedding slump is a bit like coming off a huge sugar high!

        Thinking through the feelings enough to write them down helped. My husband paying some extra special attention to me yesterday and saying how happy he is to be married to me helped.

        I realized that my mood was making him worry that I’m not psyched to be his wife. He’s worried that I just wanted a wedding. That brought me up short. It’s good to be brought up short sometimes.

        Huge busy-ness, and grad school classes will gear up again in a matter of weeks… I’m starting to think about throwing a fun Christmas party that will require some creativity, and our first family Christmas with my in-laws! The decision about whether to go for full time employment or continue with my own business is getting clearer. I heard myself laugh and mean it yesterday.

        Here comes the sun, peeking over the horizon.

  • http://poppiesandicecream.blogspot.com/ Amanda

    Meg and David, congratulations. May you always be so full of love and projects, and happiness. May you continue to make each other better persons and to take on new challenges. But over all, stay this joyful.
    And thanks for sharing. And thanks for this: “How he tells me to stop worrying and enjoy what we’ve got.” I could exactly that a million times, I guess because I am the anxious kind, the one whose brain never takes a rest.
    Hugs.

  • Cass

    Happy Anniversary. My favorite wedding blessing is: May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
    I have a feeling you two have a very. small. house. Because you have so many friends and supporters here!

  • http://www.moodeous.com moodeous

    Amazing. Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am!

  • http://kayceedubs@wordpress.com kayla

    Happy anniversary! It is wonderful to gain a private holiday!!

  • http://Averyhappyaccident.blogspot.com Alice

    Congratulations!!! We just celebrated our 5 month wedding anniversary (blushing) and it was AMAZING. I can’t imagine how awesome it will be to celebrate a year or two or twenty!!

  • Kelly

    A beautiful post, cheers to you and David on your anniversary!

  • Sophia

    Congrats on all you two have accomplished together! Here’s to hoping each year is better than the last!

  • Manya

    I’m so proud of you guys growing up together… it’s really special to witness and be a part of! Did you ever think your relationship would inspire and help others with their relationship? Did you ever imagine your wedding would give birth to a community of women deeply committed to helping each other navigate marriage, family, and life (and crafts too….)?

    Mazel Tov, again and again for your beautiful love story, and how it keeps growing and giving back.

  • http://lucystendall.blogspot.com/ Lucy Stendall

    I had never thought of wedding anniversaries that way before. Our first anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks and it’s been an incredible year. Not incredible in an oh my the world is all ok again because we went and got married (that would be silly) but incredible that we have each other to face it together. Happy Anniversary to you x

  • http://eclpse.livejournal.com Kimberly

    Happy Anniversary!

    I was just thinking on my cycle home yesterday that anniversaries are so much better than birthdays because the occasion isn’t just about you, it’s about the two of you and the passage of time together. When the world’s a shitshow, it’s nice to wrap yourselves all up in some luv. Mmmmmm.

  • Courtney

    I wish I could ‘Like’ this a bazillion times. I still have a little while to go (less than two months!) before I legally get married, but I’ve been married in my heart for years. That commitment and foundation is so exhilarating and freeing. Congratulations on your anniversary!

  • http://www.thehandmadeevent.com kari

    Lovely – both the picture (I love the little hidden Meg glimpses and appreciate that this is something special to you both that you are sharing with readers) – and the words. Happy Anniversary!

  • http://elissarphotography.com Elissa

    Happy anniversary! Here’s to many, many more :)

  • http://thecelebrationgirl.com Marcela

    Congratulations Meg! May you grow old together, holding hands, laughing and drinking wine. Here’s my toast for many happy anniversaries more! chin-chin!

  • http://dearwedding.wordpress.com/ Andee

    Happy Anniversary! So happy for you two. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  • http://hartandsolphoto.com Maddie

    Yay for Meg and David!!! And thank you for reminding me what an awesome feeling this all is. I get really excited for your anniversary because it reminds me that ours is only a month away. It also reminds me to call my brother because it’s his birthday today. :)

  • http://bluesuedeidos.com Beth

    Happy anniversary Meg and David! This makes me excited for my own anniversaries to come!

  • http://bettencourtchase.blogspot.com Helen

    Oh my goodness, congratulations! :) And you are so right about it being a private holiday. That’s perfect. I never thought about it that way, but on our (recent) one year anniversary, we ran around going to a yummy mediterranean restaurant, a used bookstore, an ice cream shop, etc. all giggly and happy. It’s like being in your own little two-person happy bubble.

    May you and David have many, many more anniversaries together. :)

  • http://justneedthisspace.wordpress.com ddayporter

    yay happy anniversary!! you guys are an inspiration for sure.

    in our case, since we share an anniversary with zach’s parents, it’s kind of fun because now we’ve joined their little national holiday. while we get to celebrate separately, it’s also great to get together and celebrate his parents marriage in a way that has become Much more meaningful.

    anyway, enjoy your holiday! I will raise a glass to you tonight.

  • april

    Beautifully written, dear one! Happy Anniversary to both of you and enjoy your day. Cheers! XO

  • LanyTaz

    Happy Anniversary!! Enjoy your personal holiday! :D

  • http://suburbaliciousliving.blogspot.com/ Lauren

    Happy Anniversary, friend- we’ll be raising our glasses with you tonight :)

    • meg

      Happy anniversary!!!

  • http://pinchofthis.wordpres.com Jen

    Happy Anniversary!!

  • Jeannine

    Happy anniversary! And many more!

  • http://www.missgiggles.com Giggles

    I love personal holidays! We’re already looking at our schedules for our two-year anniversary and planning how many days off we can take from work to make it a good long weekend.

    Happy Anniversary!

  • http://www.3upadventures.com Beth

    Private holidays are the best! I can’t wait to add our anniversary to the first day of summer. :-)

    Cheers to you and David!

  • Not Sarah

    Happy Anniversary Meg!!

  • http://bunniesnbeagles.blogspot.com Ms. Bunny

    Happy anniversary Meg and David! Cheers to many, many more.

  • http://www.littlepieceseverywhere.com Sarah

    Happy Anniversary David and Meg!

  • Marisa-Andrea

    Happy Anniversary, Meg and David! Cheers!

    • meg

      Happy anniversary!!!!

  • http://laurenmcglynn.com Lauren

    Happy Anniversary Meg & David!

  • http://discerningdilettante.blogspot.com/ ka

    Happy Anniversary! Yay for new holidays–I’ve never been one to celebrate “dating” anniversaries, but am looking forward to the marriage ones.

  • http://www.alosangeleslove.com Becca

    Happy Anniversary. Happy 2 years of marriage and growth and love and family and pushing each other to make life happen. Enjoy the wine and laughter tonight and always.

  • http://www.thefamiliarwilderness.com Erin

    Ain’t it the truth? That weddings are a sweet, sweet beginning, but only the beginning? Happy anniversary. Enjoy the sunshine :)

  • Cristina

    Congratulations, Meg! You are such an inspiration. I love your attitude towards marriage and your appreciation of your differences.

  • Steph

    “As beautiful as our wedding pictures are, these days they seem like just a glimmering hint of the blazing sunlight ahead.” THIS.

  • Hoppy Bunny

    This post solicits two reactions from me:

    1. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
    2. (Yay a private holiday! I never thought of that!)

    Congrats Meg & David!!

  • http://www.koruwedding.blogspot.com/ Koru Kate

    Cheers to you & David on your Second Anniversary! May you have many, many, many more~

  • http://webecomeus.wordpress.com Caitlin

    Happy two years! I hope you’re feeling a bit of pride for what you’ve both made out of the last two years. :)

  • http://www.bridesanstulle.com Sharon

    Happy anniversary, you two! May the joy last always! :D

  • http://landlockedlove.blogspot.com Kelly

    Happy anniversary!

  • Anne-Marie Becker

    Beautiful!

  • Class of 1980

    Well, what could anyone possibly add to such a perfect post, except CONGRATULATIONS! And MANY HAPPY RETURNS.

  • Emmy

    Congrats! Thank God for your marraige. Not only did you find the right partner, but your journey has been a beacon of sanity for so many brides. Many more years of happines.

  • Futuremrsreyes

    Beautiful post. Happy anniversary! I cant wait for my own beginning in 10 days and a lifetime of anniversaries and shared experiences to come

  • ElfPuddle

    May there be many, many more!

    Happy Anniversary!

  • K

    Thank you for sharing this with us! May there always be new adventures to share.

  • Laurel

    This is one of my favorite posts on APW ever. Beautiful words!

    Happy anniversary!

  • trisha

    Happy Anniversary Meg & David!

  • http://upupcreative.com Julie Green

    Ooh, congrats a few days late. Anniversaries really are the best. Our first kid was born on our second wedding anniversary and knowing that we’d never be able to celebrate it the way it was meant to be celebrated, we chose a new day and now celebrate that day, the day of our fake wedding anniversary. : )