*Katie Jane, Elopement Photographer & John, Engineer at Etsy*
John and I got engaged on the first day of spring in 2009. We were watching TV when he turned to me and said, “Do you want to get hitched?” I thought he was kidding, “Yeah, right.” “No… seriously… do you want to get hitched?” “What? Are you serious?” He nodded. I started sobbing but somehow managed to say yes. The next day he took me out to pick a ring.
We love a good party, but we had little enthusiasm for wedding planning, so we started planning an elopement—Hawaii on our fifth anniversary: October 9, 2010. We were just going to run off and do it and it would be amazing.
Both our families were thrilled we’d decided to get married. They were not thrilled about being left out and had no problem letting us know. “Well, what if we just decide to go to Hawaii at the same time?” While John held fast, they started to get into my head. I worried I was going to be missing out on something huge.
A few months after we got engaged we were sitting on our terrace drinking beers, talking about the future. “I think I want a wedding,” I said, out of nowhere. John, who knows me so well, smiled, “I knew it was only a matter of time before our elopement became a wedding.” We talked about the good and bad of a wedding—he didn’t think “because I’m worried I’m missing out” should be our only reason for having one. We took a while to mull it over and finally came to the conclusion yes, we’d have a wedding, but we’d do it on our terms. And so it began.
Deciding to have a wedding didn’t make us suddenly interested in wedding planning. We decided to do it together, to prioritize what was important and not worry about the rest, to go with our instincts, and if something didn’t come together… oh well.
I designed our save the dates, invitations, menus, and programs myself. We had a friend who is an awesome DJ and booked him about a year before our wedding at a much lower cost than a typical New York City DJ. Our photographers gave us a deal on their travel expenses because they were already scheduled to be in New York City that weekend anyway. Since I could not have cared less about flowers or centerpieces, when John’s aunt offered to hire a florist, I told her to go for it. I wanted fall colors, but other than that, I didn’t care what anything looked like. (Giving up control and letting John’s aunt do that for us was one of the best decisions we made.) I found the perfect shoes for $20 online. A close family friend agreed to become ordained and officiate our wedding, so we didn’t have to have someone we didn’t know marrying us. Everything was coming together perfectly. Until it wasn’t. Read More…