Archive for December, 2011

Dec 2011

The APW Book, Spreading The Word, And Happiest of Holidays

Writing a book was full of surprises. Like, for one, I felt reasonably good at it (who knew?). Or, for two, I didn't have a single meltdown during the process (not what I was expecting, to say the least). But I was much more scared about promoting a book and sending it out into the world. The day before APW Book Buy Day I said, "It's hard for me to let go, and know that I've done everything I can do, and that I have to entrust this to your hands, and just let it fly, but here we are." So the really surprising part about book promotion has been that so far, is that it's been wonderful (stressful, tiring, emotional, scary, and wonderful).

One of the first surprises for me, was that when people got their books, they started sending me pictures on Twitter. First it was one picture, then two, then an avalanche. And when I mentioned this to APW Editor Kate, she said I had to make a montage of pictures, to keep. So, with APW Editor Maddie's help, we did. And the picture at the top center? The one that has my heart? That's one of the first readers of APW ever, and the first wedding graduates ever, with the book and her daughter. That research paper yesterday on how you guys stick around to create this community? You really do.

And now, I've been surprised again. As you guys are starting to read the book, I'm getting more and more thank you emails, which is completely unexpected and mindblowingly awesome. I love you guys.

So before we dive into proper book promotion (the book officially comes out on January 1!) I have a few holiday requests of you guys:

If you read the book and liked it, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. Elissa R. Photo's review is currently among the nicest things anyone's ever said about my work. Plus, you'll do an extra holiday good deed! My grandmother is closely watching all the Amazon reviews, so you have the chance to totally make her day.
Ask for your local bookstore to stock the book, and tell them why you like it. The next hurdle as a first time author is getting the book onto shelves where beleaguered brides and grooms will actually see it, pick it up, and then run holding it like a football under their arm, to the register (or that's how I imagine it).

I'd be super grateful.

And finally: New York City, save the date for a book talk and after party in Park Slope on the afternoon and evening of Saturday January 28. More details to come, but it will be good. Excellent, even.

And with that, I'll see you all on Tuesday January 3, well rested, and ready to do this thing. (Though, you might stop back now and then over the holidays. With a book out there, you never know when some interesting press mention or book tour date might come down the pipe. If it does, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I'll be napping with some eggnog within easy reach.)

All the love in the world, ladies. And peaceful, restful, holidays.

xoxoxoxo
Meg

Photos (clockwise from top left): @LisaRicePhoto, Nicole, @PracticalAlyssa, @MEdgemont, @KoruWedding, @KalinKadink, @SmartyMagee, @ElissaRPhoto, @LoweHouse

Posted in: Entrepreneurship, Life, Meg's Thoughts | 43 Comments »

Dec 2011

APW in 2011…

I'm sitting here, in front of a bank of holiday cards, trying to figure out how to sum up 2011, for APW and for me. It's hard to put words to it because it was a huge year. It was a wonderful year, but also it was a hard year. I quit my job to work for APW full time. I wrote a book. David started a new job. APW doubled in size. (In content: Two posts a day now! And in readers: Hi all you new ladies! And in staff: Hello to Kate, Emily, and Maddie!) We threw a huge party in New York to celebrate marriage equality. David and I traveled. My book came out.

That, my friends, is enough for three years rolled into one. In case you were wondering if it was a brillant idea to write a book from scratch, and have it launch, all in the same year while running a business: It's a CRAZYPANTS IDEA. And I don't mean that in the "you should do it" kind of way. Uh-uh. This year didn't stop coming at me, and through all of it I was trying to navigate through the waters of self-employment for the first time. It wasn't easy, and I spent a lot of time looking wide-eyed and worried about just how I was going to pull any of it off. But I did. We did. Somehow.

But it was also a wonderful year. And the wonder of it all washed over me in the moments I was able to be still. In August, I realized just what we'd created while listening to a single cello play "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" as two grinning men walked down the aisle to be married legally in New York State. In September, I got to look at the pages of my book for the first time in the Istanbul airport, and it felt like floating on air. Earlier this month, I toasted with tequila and it sunk in that my book had made the Amazon bestseller list. In pre-orders. In the holiday season. Whoa. Last week, I opened a box from my publisher to find stacks of books, each with my name right on the cover and tiny fireworks went off over my head.

And this weekend. This weekend we had a staff party, and I was just generally enjoying myself, like it was any regular party. But then, toward the end, I looked around the Karaoke room as everyone sung along to the Dixie Chicks version of "Landslide" (Who requested that? For shame! Always request the original version of Landslide! It's a rule!) and I realized that this wasn't just any old group of people. This was the APW staff, APW sponsors, and the APW community. It was the community that grew out of something I started. And that was a huge thing. And blessing and a responsibility, but also a joy. Continue reading APW in 2011…

Posted in: Entrepreneurship, Life, Meg's Thoughts | 35 Comments »

Dec 2011

Kelly Prizel Photography in the Tri-State Area & NYC

Today we have the final sponsored post of the year, and I could not think of a better note to end 2011's discussion of vendors and conscious consuming. Today we have a post from Kelly Prizel Photography (in Connecticut, New York City, and the Tri-State Area... and more). She's a long time APW sponsor, and she is a deeply talented small business owner and photographer. Kelly is such a kick ass reflection of every single APW value. (Mandatory reading: her post on philosophy where she says, "The reason I started in this industry was because I had something to say. Namely, 'Where are the f*cking gay people? Where are the people of color? Where are the rip-your-heart-out emotionally gorgeous weddings minus the trendy hipster-gear? Where are the over-size-two people?'") But today's post is about more than Kelly Prizel Photography. It's actually a must-read post for everyone. It's about how her wife helped her survive a hospitalization earlier this year. It's about why she decided to work with her wife. It's about partnership, and of course it's about why she loves working with APW-ers (and why we here at APW deeply, deeply love Kelly). And, on top of all that, meet me at the bottom of the post for a special APW only Kelly Prizel Photography deal. Now Kelly, take us out... last sponsored post for 2011... hit it.

So, most of you all know me from, well, a million places—here & here, each of these weddings, and this post on choosing gay babies. You may also know me as the founder of So You're EnGAYged. But I've never been a one-woman show, and I want to use this opportunity to talk about being a wife-wife photo team. We may be the only one (like Tigger!).

When I finished art school and decided to open my wedding photography studio, my wife Natalie had already been around for a while. A long while, in fact, since we met when we were 17. At first, she was just the little left-brain voice inside my head making sure I was juggling all my paperwork and remembering to eat lunch (because when I'm editing, seriously, I forget). But this year, she's become something more.

I've been training her for years now to be my second-shooter. Poor thing has seen more contact sheets than most art school kids, and she knows my aesthetic through and through. But she's also a busy lady in her own right: she's getting a PhD in English at Yale. (If you want to ask us about bonnets, please do. She's a Victorianist.) So we were waiting for the right time to make it official. And this season, it felt right to have her, not as a third shooter, but as my primary second-shooter.

You know what? I love working with my wife on wedding days. I love when one of my couples reads an obscure poem that we read at our wedding and making eye contact with her across the room.... and then my promptly sobbing (she's more composed than I am). I love knowing the person working next to me 100% gets me and supports me as an artist. Having Natalie there makes shooting a wedding a dream because I can communicate wordlessly with her, and I know we're both looking at the same things. Natalie frees me up because I know she's thinking about how I would shoot, and allowing me to be more creative than I ever have been. It's also nice to spend an occasional weekend with her, even if we're sweating on the dance floor (and not because we're getting down).

But the real reason I've been thinking about what it means to be a wife-wife team this year is because I got really really sick this fall. In-the-hospital-getting-blood-transfusions-nothing-per-orum-waiting-for-emergency-surgery sick. It was a long time coming, and I spent several months shooting through the sickness before the hospitalization. I went into the hospital the night before Natalie's comprehensive PhD exams. I kicked her ass out long enough to take the exam, but she stayed with me the whole time on this little foam couch thing. She helped me brush my teeth when I didn't even have the strength to lift my arm. She was answering my cell-phone and talking to clients from the hospital room, and amazingly, she managed to remember all the little details of their weddings, just from living with me and hearing me talk about my amazing couples incessantly. And at that point, I knew she'd become integrated into my business so much that it was clear she was perfect. We were a wife-wife team. She wasn't just "helping out" anymore. She was shooting photos that were making my mouth water, allowing me to shoot photos that I never could without knowing she had my back, and she was driving me home at the end of the night to snuggle with our surplus of pets.

While I'm very glad that I have an awesome wife, why should you give a fig? Because it means I can be more creative and more deliberate. You might not notice because I'll still be running around like a ninja at your wedding. But I'm better able to pause, even if just for a nanosecond, and make that fine adjustment that differentiates a great photo from a knock-your-socks-off photo. My APW clients are amazing in that they give me a tremendous amount of creative freedom, and I love that we can collaborate to create aesthetically-interesting, quirky, and emotional stories about love.

A wedding photographer is many things: a photojournalist, fashion photographer, food photographer, cat-herder, etc. But now, Natalie is there to help me be all those things, which gives me more time to be what I want to be, and what you hired me to be: an artist.

Now you know why we love Kelly Prizel Photography. Her amazing outlook, her killer philosophy, and her absolutely blinding talent. But! It gets better. Because she wants to work with You In Particular, her photography prices are super reasonable. Her wedding packages start at $2800. She offers a photobooth (favorite prop, I sh*t you not, is a whip) for $350. Portraits are $450 are good for, "engagements, rock-the-dress/suit/pajamas/Wonder Woman costume sessions, family sessions, and photos of your human and/or furry babies." Plus, she told me, "Any APW couple that books me for 2012 gets a complimentary Rock The Dress/Suit session. Because I want to play with my APW couples forever." So go! Browse! Play with Kelly!

And with that, thanks for a wonderful, wonderful 2011, sponsors and readers. You guys make such amazing music together.

Posted in: Sponsored Posts | 21 Comments »

Dec 2011

Why You Stay… (A PhD Paper on APW)

A huge number of really cool things happened this year at APW, some of them almost totally behind the scenes. One of those things was that Melissa Janoske, who's working on her PhD in in public relations, social media, and social capital, wrote a whole research paper on the APW community and why so many of you stick around after you get married. It's a fascinating paper, and she's willing to email it to any of you that are interested in reading it. But today she's here with a post about why she wrote on this topic and what she learned. It's interesting to me, not just as the person who runs APW, but as someone who's made some of her best girlfriends in the world through blogging. Why do we bond the way we do online? What happens when those relationships go from virtual relationships to solid real life relationships that nurture us? How does that happen? How can online communites foster this? As we wrap up 2011, Melissa is here to talk about what she learned.

Years ago, way back in 2006, I was just starting my first real job as an instructor at a small liberal arts college, and I met a boy. And I really liked that boy. I liked him so much, in fact, that I started to daydream-plan our wedding. I spent hours in my brand-new office using my brand-new computer to look at ways to create a wedding for my brand-new relationship. Beyond chair covers and the perfect shoes, however, I noticed something else: people (mostly women) talked on these communities. A lot. About everything. They shared the secrets of tying square knots and where to buy fifteen milk glass cake plates, but also how they felt about their future mother-in-laws, and if they were going to change their name, and lots of other things. I was hooked.

I spent a lot of time in that office over the next two years, alternately learning how to teach public relations to undergraduates and navigating planning my wedding to that boy I liked, using those same online communities. And one day, I stopped and thought about how interesting it was that people were making friends online. Real friends, ones who supported one another and answered questions and said that dress doesn’t make you look fat, exactly, but perhaps this one would be better. These relationships seemed to be the focus of the wedding blogs I read.

And, being the budding researcher that I was, I decided I’d like to know more about why that happened. What, exactly, was driving these women online, instead of to their best friend’s house? I scribbled down a note to myself, my very first “Something I’d Like to Research” idea, a promise that it would be something I would look into. I forgot about it for awhile, but as I got engaged and kept reading, got married and kept reading, got divorced and kept reading, started dating again and kept reading (I’ve been reading for awhile), I figured I was onto something. There was a reason I couldn’t tear myself away, a reason that all these other women couldn’t tear themselves away either, and I wanted to figure out what it was.

****

How do you explain APW to your family? To your friends? To your significant other? Do you think about it in terms of the conversations you have, the friendships you’ve formed, or just the key phrase from that one post that really made you think? Maybe you think about it in terms of social networks and the strange factors that entice people to build relationships online? Or maybe you don’t think about it at all—you just read.

I wrote a paper about APW. A whole, research and theory-based academic paper that finally made use of that five-year-old scrap of paper, focusing on what it is that APW does to make people stick around when previous research says they should leave (namely, once they’re married). And what I found was pretty interesting. I did interviews with twenty five members of the APW community (including one with Meg), where I asked them about their experiences. Why did they seek out wedding information or inspiration on the internet? Why did they stay once they found APW? What did they like, and what would they like to change? How did they feel about the relationships they’d made (if they’d made any)? Could they tell me why they kept coming back—why they couldn’t tear themselves away? Continue reading Why You Stay… (A PhD Paper on APW)

Posted in: Uncategorized | 46 Comments »

Dec 2011

PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com: Affordable & Green Wedding Dresses

PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com has been a sponsor of APW for about as long as there has been an APW. Which makes sense, because shopping for barely worn wedding dresses for huge discounts, or having the chance to sell your wedding dress for much needed cash, is such an awesome, sensable, Team Practical thing to do. And, not to brag about her, but Josie, who owns POWD, is an awesome small business owner, who is totally all about cheering other women on. She's the kind of business owner that you want to support (and by supporting her, you also support APW, which makes it a continuos loop of awesome).

But the extra cool thing about 2011 on APW is that we finally started asking Wedding Graduates where they got their (super hot) dresses. Finally. I know. Y'all have some good taste. And it was super exciting for me to find out that lots of you were shopping with POWD, with some super stylish results. So, as we start to wrap up the year, I asked some of our ladies to tell me about their shopping experiences with PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com.

First up, there was Sam, in her short and sassy wedding dress. She told me, "Loved POWD! It was easy and simple and I bought my dress for half off. I think the chick I bought it from was also happy with POWD because after she bought what turned out to be my dress, she found the perfect dress for her. She was able to sell her first dress and not be completely out of the money. Win. Win." Did you get that? Sam bought her super sassy, super hot wedding dress... brand new and half off. The previous owner found another dress she liked better. Yup. You're welcome.

Then there was Anjali, whose hip and simple wedding dress totally stole my heart... and then I realized she'd gotten it for a super reduced price from POWD. Her dress was also brand new! She said, "Buying my wedding dress from POWD was a fantastic experience. I got exactly the dress I had been eyeing new, with the tags still attached, for several hundred dollars less than if I had bought it in the store. The seller was so sweet and even covered the shipping cost."

And, I'd somehow forgotten that the ever excellent Rachel (Dday) Porter, whose dress later became an APW Sisterhood Of The Traveling Dress (more on that in January) got her dress from PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com. She said, "I had fallen in love with this dress at the very beginning of dress shopping, but it was way out of my budget at full price in the boutique, so while I looked at sites like POWD for it, I didn't really think I'd find it. I even went so far as to buy a different dress at a sample sale, but then months later I realized it wasn't going to work for me, so I searched for the one I had originally wanted—and bam. It popped up on POWD, perfect condition, never worn, about a billion (ok like 65) percent off. A flurry of emails, one paypal transaction and three days later, it was Mine. And now it's Jenn's.. But that's another story."

And finally, there was APW Sponsor Chi-Ling Wang's gorgeous dress, which she scored pre-worn, making it the only actually pre-worn wedding dress of the lot (and no less lovely for it!). Smoking hot, amiright?

But the part of the story I can't tell you about through pictures is the fact that, if you have a wedding dress sitting in your closet that you know for a fact you don't want to hang onto... you can sell it! Through POWD for cash money! Plus, you'll get to make another bride really really happy, which is indeed win-win. Plus, think of all the waste you're avoiding, making it an awesome green wedding choice. So, whether you're looking to buy a dress or sell a dress, go browse. And if you're wondering where to start, I love the Dresses We Love section. I know. Have fun.

Photos By: Christina Richards (APW Sponsor), Emily Takes Photos (APW Sponsor),Christina Richards (APW Sponsor), Bisou Photography, and Blaine Photography

This post includes Sponsors, who are a key part of supporting APW. For more information, see our Directory page for preownedweddingdresses.com.

Posted in: Sponsored Posts | 21 Comments »

Dec 2011

Ask Team Practical: The End Of 2011

with Alyssa

We have a *couple* more posts for you next week, as we wind our way toward the one vacation from blogging we get all year (squee, excitement, general jubilation from the APW staff). But before we completely wind to a close, obviously there is some time for a little reflecting, and tipsy toasting....

The end of the year. A time for reflection, preparation, introspection... Eh, screw that. Let's talk about how awesome we are!

I had a minor panic attack when I realized that we've been doing this Ask Team Practical column for over a year now, almost 14 months to the day! That's a long time in blog-land, y'all. Internet time runs like soap opera time; if our first ATP was a newborn on All My Children, it'd be a thrice-divorced doctor/lawyer/black widow by now. So yay for virtual longevity! And let's hope I didn't just jinx myself by saying that, because this is a sweet gig.

Let's talk about some of my favorite parts of 2011, in no particular order...

Weddings and Anniversaries

Okay, so it's not strictly Ask Team Practical, but it's still one of my favoritest parts of APW. I love being able to put faces with names, to cheer on almost-married ladies, to see anniversary buddies (What up, September ladies?!?) and to see all the shining happy faces in those anniversary photos. It's something that other wedding blogs don't have; the visual representation of the continuation of the journey that is marriage. One reader, who's been married for three years, asked if she shouldn't put in her anniversary photo so she could make room for those newer brides. The answer was a resounding "Hell No." You married ladies are the elders of this group, whether you've been married one year or ten. Besides. Y'all are all just so danged pretty.

Grab-bag Ask Team Practical posts

I love that we can cover three questions at a time with what we call (pro-tip: highly technical term coming up) grab-bag ATPs. Reader questions cover the gamut and it's nice to be able to group them together so more can get answered. It feels like old school Oprah, where she'd have multiple guests on in one hour. You know, before she owned the world and started to give away diamonds and condos. (Kidding, O! We love ya; I'm just waiting on the call for Meg's show on OWN.)

The Hiring of Kate

The addition of Kate filled me with happy. She's hysterically funny, taught me how to use an em dash, broke me of my two spaces post-period habit (mostly) and knows what I mean when I bitch about East Texas water and pine trees. Plus, she knows bow ties are cool.

Not being able to answer some questions

This wouldn't normally sound like a favorite, but hear me out. ATP is answered by me, with occasional help from the editorial stuff and final editing from Meg. We are not professionals, we just have an overabundance of sass and practicality. We're your sensible bestie, except you don't have to buy us drinks to get advice. (Wait. Why isn't that a prerequisite for answering an ATP? Meg! We are doing this all wrong.)

But, occasionally we get some heart-breaking questions, questions that we have absolutely no business attempting to answer. And unfortunately, we have to tell the reader we can't answer them and encourage them to talk to a professional. It's painful and I've cried over one or two, but it is absolutely necessary. The reason this is a positive, is that I'm proud to be working with a group of women who truly want to help, but know enough to step back when they can't or shouldn't. It breaks our hearts, but it's best for everyone.

Wordless Weddings

Okay, that's not ATP either, but go look! So much pretty, with a soundtrack. Consider it your (almost) weekly zen.

The Addition of Emily

Emily not only takes amazing photos, but she's an amazing lady with a crazy good head on her shoulders. She's helped Meg breathe a little easier on the business side of things, which in turns lets Meg write more. And we all know Meg writing more means, APW's influence spreads, which means that the site generates more revenue, and that means that eventually Meg will buy me a pony. Emily = Pony for Alyssa. Can't argue with that math. Continue reading Ask Team Practical: The End Of 2011

Posted in: Ask Team Practical | 62 Comments »

Archive for December, 2011

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