reclaiming wife

* Emily, Software Developer & Matt, Software Consultant and Small Business Owner * Photographer: Emily Johnston Anderson * Soundtrack for reading: “This Will Be Our Year” by The Zombies *

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: Intimate and fun urban celebration of family and friends, with fantastic food and no cake.




The Info—Photography: Emily Johnston Anderson / Venue: PUBLIC Restaurant in New York City / Emily’s Dress: Watters Bridal from
Bridal Garden
 / Sarah’s Wrap: Saja Wedding / Matt’s Suit: J.Crew

Other cool stuff we should know about: Looking back I love how many DIY elements we ended up with, considering we didn’t set out with that as a goal (it didn’t feel too stressful). My friend Lauren and I made the hair piece. My brother did a drawing for the programs and had them printed. My friend Rosy sang during the ceremony. My friend Megan did the flowers on the tables with vases we bought at Ikea. Matt and I made signs for each table that were each named after one of our grandparents. Only one of our grandparents is still alive and we wanted to include them all in a way that wasn’t mournful. Each sign had an old photo on one side and a timeline of their life on the other.

We also wrote the ceremony ourselves after Matt’s cousin agreed to marry us. It was really important to both of us to have an officiant that knew both of us well and that would perform a non-religious ceremony. She did an amazing job. For the whole wedding we kept the traditional elements that we liked, scrapped the ones we didn’t and no one seemed to bat an eye. (Though I think the grandchild on the way may have helped distract from some of it.)

We also learned the lesson that if DIY isn’t working, don’t do it. We started out planning to put together playlists for all the music but it was causing a lot of tension between us. We decided that wasn’t worth it, so we hired a friend to DJ, who used song lists we had put together for some parts of the evening and filled in the rest. He did a great job and saved us from arguments that we didn’t need to have. When I asked my father to do a father/daughter dance, he wanted to take dance lessons together so that we could do a real dance. It was a great way to spend time together leading up to the wedding and something special to share that day. Considering how nervous he was and that he couldn’t do it without counting out loud the whole time, he did a great job.

Favorite thing about the wedding: As cheesy as it sounds, having the ceremony surrounded by a group of people who love and care about us. I was really nervous about being the center of attention but once I got up there I remember looking around the room. For a second I felt like I was in front of an audience of people with our parents sitting up front. Then I realized that I knew every single person there and that everywhere I looked was someone that we cared about. It was an amazing moment.

46 comments

  1. jackie writes:

    and this is what weddings should be about. so sweet. glad they had a wonderful day :)

    2 people said "Exactly!"

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  2. Fermi writes:

    Most Gorgeous Dress Ever!

    6 people said "Exactly!"

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  3. DanEllie writes:

    This! Thank you for saying so clearly what I felt during my own ceremony. It felt like so many people, but all of them loved us enough to be there.
    “For a second I felt like I was in front of an audience of people with our parents sitting up front. Then I realized that I knew every single person there and that everywhere I looked was someone that we cared about. It was an amazing moment.”

    Also, must say this – you look STUNNING!
    And the pictures of the dancing, having read the history of the past made me tear up.

    Congratulations and best wishes for happy years and the continued strength to weather what’s less easy.

    6 people said "Exactly!"

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  4. Lturtle writes:

    Emily, I loved your post from this morning. So moving! And when I saw these photos I remembered you saying how you struggled to feel pretty at 6 months along. I can relate, I was HUGE at 6 months, but I gotta say – Lady, you are stunning. You radiate love and joy, and you are rocking that dress.
    Sorry, I know it’s not the point but it struck me so strongly I had to say something. I wish you and your baby family all the best! And on the mommy-to-be front, my one piece of advice is this; Trust Yourself.

    5 people said "Exactly!"

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  5. Mary writes:

    These pictures brought tears to my eyes. And, I just need to second what everyone else is saying. You look absolutely stunning!

    3 people said "Exactly!"

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  6. Robin writes:

    PUBLIC is my partner and my *special restaurant* and I cheered the whole way through. Your photos are filled with love and joy!

    Exactly!

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    • Emily writes:

      The staff at PUBLIC were fantastic, I can’t recommend them enough. It was the perfect place to have our wedding. They made it all so easy and (not surprisingly) the food was great.

      Exactly!

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  7. Stefanie writes:

    I so love that 3rd photograph. I don’t know who she is but it’s good to be loved like that :) Lovely wedding.

    3 people said "Exactly!"

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  8. Madeline writes:

    You look so beautiful!

    Exactly!

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  9. Sarah writes:

    you look so, so pretty in every picture. just stunning.

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  10. mimi writes:

    beautiful photos of a beautiful wedding! you guys look so good together and your bridal outfit is fabulous! congrats on the wedding and good luck with the new baby!!!

    Exactly!

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  11. Richelle writes:

    Gorgeous. svelte. alive. feminine. full of life.

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  12. valery writes:

    Love the pairing of a graduate post in the morning and the wordless wedding later. Usually the wordless weddings don’t affect me so much, but, after knowing the story behind it, the pictures say so much. I got choked up in almost any picture that had you and your husband walking or dancing together. How special.

    18 people said "Exactly!"

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  13. Sarah writes:

    I can’t stop crying!!!!!

    These pictures are beautiful, and you looked stunning! Knowing the story behind the wedding made it that much more beautiful.

    Exactly!

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  14. cara writes:

    Pregnant brides, the most beautiful brides of all.

    6 people said "Exactly!"

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  15. Helen writes:

    This. Is. So. Beautiful. The pictures made me tear up. Thank you so much, and congratulations.

    Exactly!

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  16. Essential Kate writes:

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

    Exactly!

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  17. Nicole writes:

    So stunning. And your song choice was just perfect. Congratulations to y’all.

    Exactly!

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  18. Jashshea writes:

    Your dress! Wow. That’s some hot shit, lady.

    Also, I nearly sobbed going through all the pictures – after reading the story this AM, seeing how beautifully everything was pulled together – It’s just awesome. The pictures are amazing on their own, but knowing a tiny bit of your backstory just makes them all the more meaningful.

    And now I’m actually going to get teary.

    4 people said "Exactly!"

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  19. Umpteenth Sarah writes:

    This is my favorite wordless wedding of all time.

    4 people said "Exactly!"

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  20. Claire writes:

    Your earlier story was amazing and adds so much meaning to these gorgeous photos. Also, your dress is gorgeous and fits your figure perfectly. You look radiantly joyful and beautiful in every shot. Congratulations on your lovely wedding and your miracle baby!

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  21. Kristinyc writes:

    Lovely wedding! Also, your story this morning really made me put things in perspective re: curveballs.

    Any chance you’ll do a how-to post on how you made your pretty veil?

    Exactly!

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    • Emily writes:

      I don’t know about a post but I’d be happy to provide info. It was really easy, cheap and a fun excuse to go for a shopping trip to M&J Trimming (which you should definitely visit if you haven’t and live in NYC). It was just some feathers, netting, and a rhinestone button sewn together. We got two types of netting (normal tulle and the wider stuff for birdcage veils) and made two bunched up flowers to go behind the feathers. To make the veil part we just took a piece of netting and sewed it together on one side using a tutorial we found online.

      Exactly!

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  22. corrie anne writes:

    seriously lovely bride. perfect dress with cutest bump!!! so gorgeous. yay.

    Exactly!

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  23. Emily & Matt, congrats and good luck in Boston!!! I used to call it home and some days I miss it with a vengeance. Hope we get a family update once your little girl has arrived :)

    Exactly!

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  24. Catherine writes:

    Wow…. just WOW! I am speechless.

    Emily, you look so amaingly beautiful and glowing and incadescently happy!!! There’s nothing more romantic than a pregnant bride in my option!!!!!

    Oh my gosh, I could cry, I am so estaticallyhappy for the both of you and wish you two all the blessings and joy in the world! The Lord knows you both have worked hard for it!!!!

    Exactly!

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  25. Molly writes:

    That dress! And that jacket! And that pregnancy/bridal glow! You are so so gorgeous!

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  26. Hlockhart writes:

    Sister, you are gorgeous. Congratulations and much joy to you.

    Exactly!

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  27. Chrissy writes:

    This is my favorite Wordless Wedding yet. How beautiful, how touching, how real…I’m blown away. Congratulations bellissima

    Exactly!

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  28. Class of 1980 writes:

    This is a gorgeous wedding and looks full of emotion.

    Tell Matt he’s a cutie and a keeper. So are you, Emily.

    Just looking at both of you and knowing how hard you worked to get there … seeing Matt WALKING … well, I have no words.

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  29. Emily Elizabeth writes:

    You look so beautiful Emily, and Matt looks like he’s doing amazingly!! Congratulations to you, and have so much fun with that baby when it arrives!!

    Exactly!

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  30. Anna writes:

    OMG in all the details you gave us today you somehow failed to mentioned YOUR HUSBAND IS A SUPER BABE!

    2 people said "Exactly!"

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  31. Denitsa writes:

    This is totally stunning. I loved the dress, I loved the hair, I loved the decorations, I loved the photos, I loved the strength this girl had.
    I am writing you from the other part of the world – Eastern Europe, Bulgaria. It is so amazing that here I can find so many people who share the same values, problems and things from life, although our lives seem to be different.

    So, I am reading this site from months, but today’s story made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    Congrats on your characters and all you do.

    Exactly!

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  32. Catherine writes:

    By far, my FAVORITE Reclaiming Wife and Wordless Wedding story EVA!!!!!!!

    Exactly!

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  33. Bohomama writes:

    Thank you for sharing your story! I think I’ve found my wedding twin!!! Your wedding looks and sounds SO similar to mine in so many ways it’s downright eerie (6 months pregnant belly, a husband named Matt and all). Even parts of your journey to get there resonate with my experience (minus surgeries and rehabs, though).

    You and your husband are making it through everything with such, strength, grace and love! It’s an inspiration. So, as I type this with my cranky 14 month old at my feet, I wish you and your new family much love, happiness and many blessings! Enjoy your journey! xo

    Exactly!

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  34. Emily writes:

    Thank you all so much for the lovely comments! There is no better time to get compliments than when you are 9 months pregnant and feeling like a beach ball with limbs.

    Exactly!

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  35. April writes:

    You two are gorgeous!! These are just beautiful photos – so much love and happiness in them.

    1 person said "Exactly!"

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  36. [...] by Corey Torpie Photography via Brooklyn Bride // 8.Photography by Emily Johnston Anderson via A Practical Wedding // 9. Photography by Jessica Lewis Photography via Wedding [...]

    Exactly!

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