*Amanda, Marketing Manager & Jess, Claim Team Manager*
As we finish this week of talking about the in-between space, Amanda’s wedding graduate post seemed like exactly the right fit. It’s about how, for her, nothing changed after the wedding, and that was just fine. She loved her wedding for what it was, and she didn’t require any more from it. Perfect.
I thought I’d feel different. Like a wife. I don’t. I feel like me with an extra sparkly ring on my finger. My dear husband (J) still looks and acts like he did when he was a guy I met through MySpace… like he did when he was my boyfriend… and when he was my fiancé.
Our wedding was beautiful. People noticed the little details: my beautiful brooch bouquet, the programs-as-fans, my amazing dress.
I didn’t cry nearly as much as I thought I would. I didn’t have a “moment.” I leaned over to J during the reception and said, “Is it bad that I don’t feel different?” He said no, that it was probably a good thing. For a while, I thought, “Am I missing something? Shouldn’t I have had a moment at our wedding?”
To be honest, the memory that I keep going back to the most from the whole wedding weekend is when I was sitting alone in our kitchen on the morning before the wedding, listening to my Glee Pandora station and singing at the top of my lungs while I finished little tasks. That moment encompassed all the happiness I was (and am still) feeling.
And then there’s J’s ring. I keep catching a glimpse of it on his finger. Even after two months, it gives me goosebumps and makes me smile. But I feel like I let the WIC deceive me about what the wedding was. Even though I was reading APW during my engagement, I still thought the wedding was something BIG that would change me. Now I realize that it was:
- A great reason to throw a party with one hundred of our closest friends and family
- A unique opportunity for those people to express how they feel about us by being present
- A way to make us legally a team
I’m glad we made the decisions we did. Ribbon wands? So not necessary. Handmade centerpieces? Worth the paint on our hands and garage floors, and worth keeping all that money in our pockets. But the most important decision we made? Getting married to each other. Being a wife rocks, even if it doesn’t feel all that different.