Long Distance Planning


Long distance relationships are hard. While they can certainly be beneficial to a growing relationship (hello, communication skills), I also know the pain and frustration that comes from just wanting to be together already, dammit (Michael and I were long-distance for six years before finally moving in together). So today’s post from Laura is a testament to all of it. The good, the bad, the work, the crying at the train station waving goodbye, and finally the joy of being able to wake up next to each other for, you know, ever. Long distance relationships are hard, but in the end, they can be oh-so worth it.

Maddie

Long Distance Planning | A Practical Wedding

By the time we marry in May, my fiancé, M, and I will have been in a relationship for over 750 days.

We’ll only have spent about 170 of those days in each other’s physical presence.

Such is the hell of long distance relationships.

M and I started dating the second semester of our senior year of undergrad. Logically, we knew it was dumb (we both had pretty set plans for life after graduation). But neither of us is very logical. So we dove in headfirst without thinking about the potential rocks and snakes and crocodiles at the bottom. But we did know that we’d probably be apart for at least two years while he went to grad school in Texas and I hopped all over the country trying to find a job in publishing. Good thing I’m pretty talented at pretending not so pleasant things will either just go away or fix themselves. (My cavity and a clogged drain in the bathroom are still waiting for evidence that this method works…)

I don’t know the exact moment that I realized that M was the man for me. That I wanted to be with him forever. It was a gradual thing. In fact, it was exactly as described in The Fault in Our Stars (you MUST go out and read this book at once. I don’t give recommendations lightly…), “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” Spot on. Because somewhere between the Skype sessions that lasted for hours and love letters in the mail, I knew this was it: I was going to see this thing through to the end because I couldn’t imagine life without him anymore. Because he made me a better person. Because he knew me and I knew him.

When M proposed, we were only halfway through our long distance journey. So, like the fiancé I thought I was supposed to be, I launched myself into planning. But I quickly realized it wasn’t as fun as present-day society told me it would/should be. (So many decisions!) I discovered that I didn’t care so much about the actual wedding day because it was the days after that I was really counting down to: The day our regularly reset countdown until the next visit, the next plane ticket, the next tearful reunion and departure would finally end.

So in between the stressful moments of picking out flowers and asking M what shower curtain we wanted to put on the registry, I began counting down to starting our life together: I wanted to come home and veg on the couch with him after a long, hard day. I wanted to try all the restaurants I drive past and wish I could go to with him. I wanted to fight over the last piece of cake on the counter. I wanted to bicker about the cap of the toothpaste and the position of the toilet seat lid. I wanted to celebrate birthdays, holidays, anniversaries (on the actual day!), and three-day weekends together. I wanted to cook and clean and make a home together. I want it all.

Long distance forced us to appreciate the little things. It made us appreciate each other more. It made us communicate more because that’s pretty much all we have in the end. If we couldn’t communicate, then it would never work.

When people hear that we’re in a long distance relationship we automatically get the sympathetic looks and the well-meaning encouragement (“Good for you all!” “Way to make it work!”). But it doesn’t feel like work… Hold on. Let me rephrase. Yes, it’s work. It’s hard work. It takes sacrifice and effort and pain and tears, but doesn’t every relationship? Doesn’t every marriage? Good things aren’t supposed to come easy. So yes, it’s work, yes, but work connotes that you can quit and give up at any point when you get tired or when five o’clock rolls around. What we have, isn’t work. It’s life. We’re living life and there’s no other option than to keep living. And I choose to live with him, whether we’re two feet away or eight hundred miles away.

So long distance is possible. It’s doable. It’s never fun, but it can be creative. We still have date nights. (Netflix! Two screens on the laptop: movie and Skype). We still have deep, hard conversations. (It’ll feel weird at first having it over a screen or a phone, but you’ll get used to it.) We tell each other about every second of the day to help us feel connected. I want to imagine that I was there with him. We take tours of each other’s regular hangouts when visiting so we can picture it better. And there’s nothing like that moment when we first catch each other’s eyes as I pick him up from the airport. It’s the best. Because we’re back where we’re supposed to be: with each other. And yes, that’s cheesy, but it’s so unbelievably right too.

Every single moment we are together is bliss, whether we’re fighting or lingering over breakfast not wanting to part for the day, simply because we’re together. And we know what it’s like to not be.

And above all we’ve had to remember, this long distance thing is temporary. We’ve taken it one day at a time. Literally. And one day we’re going to wake up and realize we have a lifetime to be together.

Photo by APW Sponsor Gabriel Harber

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  • 39bride

    I’ve never done the truly long distance thing, but I’m pretty sure this is the best description of it I ever read.

    Since my husband and I didn’t live together until we got married and we were 30 miles apart with awkward schedules, our time/occasions together was limited and a lot of this resonates with me: The planning was mostly a chore with a few moments of excitement, but the best part about planning was imagining the exact things you’re talking about–the being together. I’m sure it’s 100 times harder when it’s truly an LDR (unlike our experience), but you’ve articulated something that resonates far beyond that. Thanks so much!

  • http://www.superfantastic.blogs.com Superfantastic

    Anniversaries on the actual day! YES! It was so exciting when we finally lived in the same place and got to do anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays on the actual day instead of the nearest visit. I’ll admit to a little nostalgia for that moment of first locking eyes in the airport (and the look in his eyes when we were finally alone together) but I would definitely not trade it for sleeping next to him more often than not.

    • KB

      My fiance actually turned to me a while ago as we were walking by the bus line that facilitated our long distance relationship and said, “You know, I love that we live together now, but I kinda miss that time.” I knew exactly what he meant because it was something fun to look forward to every other weekend and you really learned to appreciate your time together.

    • EofS

      My (now) fiancé and I have an anniversary a little over a week after his birthday. That year had been an exception, but normally we would never be able to spend more than a week together for his birthday, so we never again saw each other for it. Then in 2011, our first year of living in the same country, we were excited to finally be able to celebrate our anniversary. Unfortunately, I was struck by an ear infection and we spent the evening at the emergency/out-of-hours doctor’s surgery! What a way to spend our first anniversary together. But at least we were together, and I wasn’t going through that experience alone. Which in its own way, made it an amazing anniversary together. It was much more ‘real’ than a romantic dinner would have been.

      I know what you mean about nostalgia for the long distance days. I think it’s perfectly understandable. There are some advantages to long distance and it does bring good things to your life, so it’s only natural that we miss those good things. (I think as a coping mechanism, as much as anything else, you have to find the upsides to the distance.) And the intense spikes of emotion, the constancy of living together struggles to compete with the surge of elation of seeing your partner for the first time in months. But, as you say, it still can’t compare with the simple comfort of waking up next to them every morning. (Or in our case – me going to bed next to him every night, him waking up next to me every morning.)

  • http://unexpected-moments.blogspot.ca/ Sheryl

    When I first started seeing my husband he lived the next city over, and I don’t drive, so visits would be punctuated either by waiting for him to pull into my driveway or spending about three hours on a bus getting to him. Certainly nothing as prohibitive as a plane ride separated us, but it felt far. Going from that to no distance was amazing.

    I have some magical memories of the time we spent with each other in those early days – trying to pack everything we could into an overnight visit because I wouldn’t see him until the next weekend. Waking up to a text message from him telling me good morning.

  • KW

    “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” Spot on. Because somewhere between the Skype sessions that lasted for hours and love letters in the mail, I knew this was it: I was going to see this thing through to the end because I couldn’t imagine life without him anymore.

    This was me to a T!

    Your whole post made me smile. We were LD for almost 2 years with over 2000 miles between us (Ohio for me, San Francisco for him). What you said about communicating is spot-on. I think all the Skype conversations we had really helped us to learn about each other and gave us a strong foundation, and we were fortunate that we never went longer than 8 weeks between visits. When he finally was able to get a job transfer and move here, it was like two Lego blocks coming together. We just fit.

  • Katherine

    Wow, Laura. You put into words pretty much everything about my FH and I being long-distance for three years. Such a roller-coaster…..the bouncing-off-the-walls-happy hugs & kisses when you get off the plane, and the tearing-your-heart-out tears when you say goodbye at the airport security checkpoint. And the in-between times where all you can do is count the days until you’re together again, and all you have is the phone and the computer (thank god for modern technology!). Somehow you make it work, and it’s SO worth it when it’s over and you’re finally together in the same zip code. Hang in there…..it’s amazing when you’re able to just come home & snuggle on the couch together. Congrats!!!

  • Laura

    This could seriously be me.

    Not only is my name Laura (although my fiance’s first name starts with N), we’ll have been together for 790 days when we get married (close!) and we’re currently in a long distance relationship. We also started dating the second semester of my senior year—although fortunately I went to grad school and the same university where he was finishing his undergrad degree. Now we’ve been apart for eight of the last twelve months, and trust me, I’m counting down till when our long distance relationship ends more than the wedding! I honestly just want to be with him, and getting married is an awesome way to celebrate that.

  • Lauren

    “I began counting down to starting our life together: I wanted to come home and veg on the couch with him after a long, hard day. I wanted to try all the restaurants I drive past and wish I could go to with him. I wanted to fight over the last piece of cake on the counter. I wanted to bicker about the cap of the toothpaste and the position of the toilet seat lid. I wanted to celebrate birthdays, holidays, anniversaries (on the actual day!), and three-day weekends together. I wanted to cook and clean and make a home together. I want it all.”

    Yep! Exactly. Like 39Bride, my fiance and I are not actual long distance, but we don’t live together and we live 30-45 minutes apart. We are lucky that we almost always see each other once a week and we talk on the phone every night.

    But when people ask me if I am excited for our wedding, I always, ALWAYS say that I’m more excited for the marriage part. Waking up together EVERY DAY? How can something more wonderful exist? Cooking dinner together? Whaaaaat!?!

    I am so happy and excited for you, Laura. I can’t wait for your grad post (eventually… right?)

  • Lada

    You almost made me cry on a train.
    APW and Laura, thank you so much for this. I try to enjoy the little things as much as possible, but it’s always good to be reminded again.

  • http://poppiesandicecream.blogspot.nl/ Amanda

    Oh yes. You described it perfectly well. You brought back so many memories, waiting at the airport, that magic feeling of finally being together even if only for a few days. And as someone on the other side (we were long distance for 2 years while I finished my degree and then went on my final 6 months internship) I can tell you it will all be worth it.

    I want to frame this phrase: ” Good thing I’m pretty talented at pretending not so pleasant things will either just go away or fix themselves.” Yup, that’s me too.

    BTW on the fourth paragraph it should be “fiancée”, not fiancé

  • http://arealliveladyperson.blogspot.com Krissy

    Yes! I was in an entirely long distance relationship before I met future hubs, and then again after I met future hubs (we spent a year together and then a year apart), and this post makes my chest tighten! I remember those feelings so well, it was so intense. The lows were so low and the highs were so high!

    And I think, even two years after we have been living together and ended the distance, it makes me never take him for granted. I know now, in the deepest sense of knowing, how precious our time is together, because I have had it given back and taken away so many times. And to feel that as many times as you do in a long distance relationship makes you appreciate SO much, and I think I learned how to be a happier person because I had these very simple things, like having this person next to me, and having dinner together. They’re such little things, but I still don’t take any of it for granted. And I think it makes your life together more rich. It definitely did for me.

  • Kara

    Hubby and I met on the interwebz via a band we both like. That was April ’05. He in Japan, I at mom and dad’s in Seattle. We met in person Dec 9th, ’05. Between first meeting in person and him arriving 10 days before our June 29, ’07 wedding, we’d spent 2.5 months together in person. (People thought we were a bit crazy. The things we endure for love.) Waking up to him tor the first time was epic. E.P.I.C. I tell you! Finally, he was all mine and I didn’t have to say goodnight as I left anymore. Epic. Our 6th anniversary is this year and it still feels all tingly and amazing.

  • http://www.devabydefinition.com deva

    This comment:” work connotes that you can quit and give up at any point when you get tired or when five o’clock rolls around”

    rang so true for me. Relationships take EFFORT in my not-so-humble opinion – not work. When people tell me I must work so hard to be so happy in my relationship (we have very few hills which we feel we must die on. arguments tend to be little bickery things that aren’t very yelly, etc), and I tell people we put in a lot of time and effort to make our relationship work the way it does, even if from the outside it just looks like we’re going about things like normal.

    • Laura C

      The “relationships take work” thing has always driven me nuts. I finally realized that to me, that phrase suggests that the work is in continuing to like/love each other, like it’s this grueling thing that you slog through because it’s your relationship, so what are you going to do? To me, if I felt like the relationship itself was work — if being with this person is the effort I’m conscious of making, rather than the reward for the efforts I make — I shouldn’t be in the relationship. Figuring out how to make everything keep happening? As the Laura who wrote this post says, it’s life. Saying that making our relationship work is so much work is like saying that feeding myself is so much work. Sure, to feed myself I have to decide what I want to eat and then I have to shop and cook and afterward clean the dishes. And before any of that, I have to have made enough money to buy the food. But it’s not like “whoa, time to eat again? Damn, this is a lot of work.” It’s “Ooh, chicken parm. Makes a lot of dishes dirty, but it’s chicken parm, which is delicious.”

      My fiance and I were long-distance for about a year and a half. For a year of that, it was a four-hour bus ride; for six months he was traveling and there were times he was in a time zone 10.5 hours different from me, times he was in a time zone six hours different from me, three hours…it was tough. But it was tough not because of the work of figuring out the right time to call or of making that four-hour bus ride. It was tough because I couldn’t just pick up the phone at the moment I thought of something I wanted to say, because it was the middle of the night where he was, or because I didn’t have that moment in the morning when he half wakes up and the first thing he does, right before he falls back asleep entirely, is to roll over and wrap his arms around me.

      All of which is to say, this post is so dead on that it’s not work, it’s life. No part of life comes without effort. But the day I think of my relationship itself as work, as opposed to the necessary thing that specific pieces of work sustain, is the day I need to rethink the relationship.

  • http://useyourwordss.blogspot.com/ Michelle

    “But it doesn’t feel like work… Hold on. Let me rephrase. Yes, it’s work. It’s hard work. It takes sacrifice and effort and pain and tears, but doesn’t every relationship? Doesn’t every marriage? Good things aren’t supposed to come easy. So yes, it’s work, yes, but work connotes that you can quit and give up at any point when you get tired or when five o’clock rolls around. What we have, isn’t work. It’s life.”

    THIS

  • Carly

    Love this post, but also wanted to give a big fat DITTO to the “The Fault in our Stars” recommendation. It’s SO GOOD. (Especially since it’s basically set in my neighborhood in Indianapolis).

  • http://www.foreveryoungadult.com erin

    Hi, are you me? Are we we?

    First of all, SECOND THIRD FOURTH the Fault in Our Stars recommendation. If y’all haven’t read it, then I feel bad about you and your choices in life.

    But also, all of this, cosigned. My fiance and I met through work, but we worked on different continents! It’ll be four years in June and, if all goes very, very well, we’ll actually be living together to celebrate the fourth anniversary (first time we’ll have ever celebrated together, on the actual day, like you said). Right now the visa issue is coming down to the proverbial wire and we are literally days away from knowing and it’s making me excited, but crazy, to think that, in six weeks’ time, we could be together! Every day! Arguing about who has to walk the dog!

  • C

    My fiance and I did long distance for all of college, and this post really resonated with me! I totally agree with what you said about how it makes you communicate more – when you don’t see each other in person for so long, there are so many little words or actions that can be misconstrued. We’ve been living together for just over a year and it was SO worth all those years of waiting! Also, coming home and vegging on the couch after a long day = the best.

    • april

      Yes, SO worth it.

      My fiance and I went from living in the same college dorm for 2 years, to living in the same apartment building for 2 years, to living in the same apartment for 2 years, to living in *entirely different states* for 2 years. Our long distance stint has absolutely made our communication better. It has also made us appreciate each other and the time we spend together a lot more.

  • http://irvingplace.net Kayjayoh

    “We still have date nights. (Netflix! Two screens on the laptop: movie and Skype).”

    Our very first Valentine’s Day involved Chinese take-out (we agreed ahead of time what kind of food to get so that we’d be eating the same thing), DVDs of “The Princess Bride” (with a 1,2,3, Go! synchronization for pushing play), and our computers with Google video running.

    Video chat was, I think, the thing that kept us going for the first couple years of dating, before he move to my city. Sometimes we wouldn’t even be chatting. We would just be quietly hanging out, doing our work with the other person hanging out on a window on our computers, occasionally saying something, but mostly just *being* together, in a virtual way. Somehow, it made it more real, more comfortable.

    • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.com/ Jenny- Adventures Along the Way

      Ah, we did the synchronized starting of videos too. so that when we texted “hahaha” or whatever comment in Skype it would be in sync with the movie.

  • http://snippetsof.blogspot.com SarahE

    My partner and I spent one school year about two hours apart, as he was finishing his degree and I moved back home after graduation. Thanks to two part-time jobs on my end, there were many 11pm drives to see him, even when he had class and work himself the next day. Falling asleep and waking up together cannot be overrated (especially when separation is out of your control).

    I was living with my grandma during this distance, and though I got a lot of back-handed comments about “why was I going up there to see him AGAIN?,” one day she started talking about her first year of marriage with my grandpa. He was away finishing his degree in teaching, and grandma was still living with her mother and brother. My completely un-sentimental, un-romantic grandma told us “I thought I would die, I missed him so much.” Long distance has never been easy, but it’s certainly been done.

  • Ali

    Thank you for this post. It was beautiful and hit home. Also nice to hear I’m not alone in oddly missing those skype dates and that airport arrival excitement.

  • Leslie

    Just a side thought – I love the book recommendations around here, is anyone keeping track of these? Maybe we have a book club relating to monthly theme?

  • http://www.rationalcreature.com sweet starling

    Oh man. OH MAN. So many kinds of THIS.

    My mister and I are have spent the last four years of our five year relationship 300 miles apart. The hellos are so wonderful, but oh, those goodbyes…

    Before we got engaged in January, I had considered writing in to ask APW whether it’s harder to plan a wedding far from home or without your fiance. When I got engaged, it was no longer a question. I’m moving away from my hometown, where my wedding will be held, a year before the ceremony, because I can’t stand to be apart from my person for another 12 months. You’d think that after so long of being so certain that we are solidly an us, that the goodbyes and the distances get easier, but they don’t. As a matter of fact, I’m leaving today to spend a long weekend with my mister, and I’m already dreading saying goodbye to him in four days. I can’t wait until the days when the longest goodbye we’ll have to endure will be the one until we come home from work.

    Solidarity fist bumps to all of my fellow LDR couples.

  • Mia

    I normally lurk APW, mostly through the email updates, but this appeared in my inbox on the PERFECT day. Although my fiance and I are only 3 hours apart in different states, the distance is still a daily obstacle. We just applied for our first real joint living arrangement, and I have been silently dreading every minute since then, bitter that we are still months away from our forever together. I feel so much better after reading this, that although I am too counting down the minutes until our lives are finally operating in the same zip code… this definitely helps realize it is 100% worth it.

  • Alyssa

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES.

    All of this. My fiancé and I are in our second round of long distance. Over the past 9 months we’ve been navigating a long distance engagement, planning a wedding in a completely separate location from where either of us are, and doing the grad school thing. It has been extremely challenging. It seemed like it would never end. But it is ending! In four days! It’s so hard to believe that this way of life that has become the new normal for us is almost over. In four days I get to experience what so many other people deem as normal: going to sleep with and waking up to my man. Watching Netflix with him. Holding his hand. Finishing up the last 40 days of wedding prep IN PERSON.

    There’s no doubt in my mind that we have such a strong relationship (we have been dominating our pre-marital counseling sessions) because of all the time we’ve been long-distance, so I’m thankful for that. But really, I’m done. :)

  • Kara E

    Honestly, I’m glad my now-husband and I were long-distance for so long. While I missed him like crazy when I didn’t see him, we’re both very independent people and I think that the distance made us do a lot of the “hard work” of our relationshp up front. Yes, our time together was a lot of adventure, and was wonderful, but our time apart was relationship building too. We couldn’t rely on all the “normal” distractions of a relationship that happen when we’re in person, we had to commit to planning ahead, and we had to talk through a lot of crap that normally might have been communicated by body language.

  • Emily

    Oh thank you so much for this. I am in the middle of the longest of our separations – and we have the added difficulty of major time-zon difference.

    My partner is a foreigner, and our initial dating was never supposed to turn into anything, because he knew he was leaving the US within a year. Ha ha, says the universe! By the time his visa expired, we were towards the end of what we called “free fall” (btw, love the “slowly and all at once” metaphor – so true for me!), living together, and talking about things like the future, and kids, and what a wedding would look like. But we weren’t quite sure *enough* to jump into the fiance visa process, so off he went. By the second conversation, we knew we weren’t supposed to be apart.

    10 weeks later, I visited him, and he proposed. 10 weeks after that visit, he came to visit me, and we got married in my living room with our families Skyping in. But I’ve been distiinguishing between that ceremony (what I call “marriage day”) and the wedding, which we are still planning, and which both our families will attend in person, which isn’t until next summer.

    In the meantime, we Skype every day, chat over Facebook, whatever technology will allow. And we curse the distance, and the in-between-feeling that we have until the visa is approved, but as much as I hate being apart from him, it is clear to both of us that the separation was what our relationship needed to nudge us into certainty. Now let’s hope it’s done by the end of this year.

  • Katy

    As a long time long distancer (6 years) I loved this piece. We’re finally going to be in a place next year to get married and live together. I was reading Lord of the Rings the other day and this sprung out at me:
    ‘And Aragorn…married Arwen…upon the day of Midsummer, and the tale of their long waiting and labours was come to fulfilment.’

    I seriously cannot wait.

  • Beca

    As a 2+ year, separate-continents, five-hour-time-difference LDR survivor (and now 5+ yrs of living together), I posit that this gif sums up my reaction to this post:

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v151/alien010/lulz/tumblr_mgsvtysMFT1rzm77eo1_500.gif

  • Sarah

    My husband and I were high school sweethearts, and then I went to college four hours from home (plus one semester in England) and he stayed at home for college, so this post resonated with me. I loved how you described it as being hard, but not work. Yes yes yes. I always felt like people were so impressed with us and thought it was such as a sacrifice. Many of them made comments like “wow, I could never do that”. And yes, it was a sacrifice, but it never felt like I was signing myself up for months and months of hardship. It was just the obvious choice, it didn’t even feel like a choice. I loved this man and I wasn’t going to stop loving him just because I was temporarily living in a city four hours away, so what else were we going to do?

    • EofS

      When, after 5 years of flying back-and-forth (and 2 before that as friends), my fiancé was finally able to move to my country, a friend of mine commented that she’d never known anyone else to persevere so long at a long distance relationship. I’ve never understood her comment. Not being together was not an option. And moving together was not yet practical. So we survived long distance. Found our silver linings, made the budgetary sacrifices necessary to afford the flights, learned to cope with long months apart and just… lived it. It was hard, it was desperately painful and I hope never to have to go back to that way of living, but it was no more a choice than falling in love had been.

  • Lulu

    I hear ya! It doesn’t matter that I am utterly exhausted after a day of travel and an overnight flight. Seeing his face when I walk through the arrivals gate is the most incredible feeling in the world :)

  • jess

    um in re “the fault in our stars” rec–yes yes yes, but also is there possibly a nerdfighter presence on APW? because omg.

    also, can sincerely recommend all of john green’s books.

  • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.com/ Jenny- Adventures Along the Way

    This made me teary. We were long distance between two neighboring countries for just under 2 years, then our first 10 months of marriage were semi-long distance between two cities in his country that are 3 hours apart. And he travels a lot for his work. So I can totally relate to the pleasures of just being in the same place doing normal, everyday stuff and feeling so thankful for it. Moving into a single apartment to make our joint home was a fabulous feeling. We still have airport goodbyes when he leaves for multiple week work trips, but those are definitely better than the LDR goodbyes of not knowing when the next visit would be. Yes to Skype and all the other ways that help long distance be more manageable. And this perfectly describes the back-together-again feeling: “Because we’re back where we’re supposed to be: with each other.”

  • Long Distance Lady

    Thanks for this article! My fiance and I are getting married this May, after almost 9 years together, the last 4 of them being long-distance. And I completely agree with the sentiment about wedding planning being less fun with your other half absent, not only because you’re really keeping a countdown to the time after the wedding when you can actually live together, but also because it is so much less fun that we can’t be creating our wedding together in real time. Planning is either relegated to the rare weekends that we’re together, or we have to catch each other up on wedding progress at the end of the day or via text message. I miss having him there to bounce ideas off of, to keep me sane, to deflect some of my family’s constant opinions.

    Also, this is 100% spot-on: “I wanted to come home and veg on the couch with him after a long, hard day. I wanted to try all the restaurants I drive past and wish I could go to with him. I wanted to fight over the last piece of cake on the counter. I wanted to bicker about the cap of the toothpaste and the position of the toilet seat lid. I wanted to celebrate birthdays, holidays, anniversaries (on the actual day!), and three-day weekends together. I wanted to cook and clean and make a home together. I want it all.”

  • Kaelyn

    Thank you for making me believe that a LDR will work. I am currently in one and we are entering the 4th year together. We have times when we just thought it would be better to just move on and not do this anymore because we never met and it was all virtual. Things happened and despite all odds, we knew we could not move on. We have mark one another for our life and this is it. He is the man I could not imagine not to be with. We will finally countdown to the final 2 months to our first meet up and I could not wait! I really hope this meet up will lead to the ending we both been dreaming of.

    May your journey with your loved ones grow stronger and fonder as years passed.
    If our love can defeat the distance, nothing else can defeat us. :D
    God bless!

  • Jordan Dryer

    So beautifully written. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 8 years. We met when we were 16. I just got engaged 2 weeks ago : ) I feel like if people I knew read this they would finally understand. Well done!

  • S

    Hi. I have a long distance relationship. He is from Chile, and I’m from Spain. (almost 11.500 km / 7.145,7 miles apart) We met on youtube, I uploaded a video and he saw it, he sent me one message with his facebook and skype, and I added him. This happened 21 January 2011. We became friends and we talked every day. I remember the first time I heard his voice. I was speechless. Since that moment, I’ve loved his voice, and his laugh. He was so nice and sweet since the first time we talked.
    On 3rd May 2011, we decided to take a step on our relationship and become boyfriend and girlfriend. This is the best choice of my life. We’ve been together since that day, almost 3 years now. We haven’t met yet. We have no money to travel to each other’s country.
    I have no friends, I thought I had, but when we started our relationship, they decided they didn’t want to be friends with me.. They hated my boyfriend so much. My parents don’t want me to go and meet him, because they know that if all goes well, I’ll never come back here. So they don’t want to help me.
    I did this on a moment of extreme need of a kiss, a hug, a look into his eyes.. Extreme need of him. It’s an extreme situation. I’ve would never do this if this wasn’t at that point when I don’t even know if I’ll be able to see him someday..

    If you can, please, share my story and this link to see if anyone can help me… I’ll be so thankful, with you and anyone that helps me.

    http://www.gofundme.com/5xxrpc

  • Hema

    Life was colorless before drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com helped me with a love spell to reunite me with the father of my children who abandon me with my two children for a co-worker of his. My will to live and enjoy life is back now that my family is saved. I will never feel lonely again. Thank you for bringing my husband back to me….Hema