Jennifer & Vincent’s Backyard Wedding In Texas


Jennifer, Psychotherapist/Blogger & Vincent, Technical Director *

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

When you date for nine years before getting engaged, you have ample time to fantasize about what kind of wedding you’d like to have. I knew I wanted to get married in my dad’s backyard in Texas years before backyard weddings became the trend, and long before my wonderful groom was ready to take that step with me. I can tell you now: Our wedding was worth every minute of that wait.

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

In fact, I think our marriage will be stronger because of it. Not because dating longer is somehow better, or because we already have several years of commitment under our belts, but because that period of struggle—when I was ready, and he was not—taught us how to truly communicate our needs to each other. It forced me to exercise understanding even in my most impatient moments, and it gave him the time he needed to feel comfortable taking that walk with me.

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

I’ll say again what I said to friends who asked whether I thought we would ever get married:  “I would like to be married, but if it’s not in the cards, I’ll make my peace with that.” The truth is, I would have rather stayed unmarried to him forever than gotten married to anyone else. It was never just about getting married. It was never just a desire to have a beautiful wedding. It was about the two of us finally looking outward in the same direction, and looking forward to a long life with someone I have loved for a long time. And, okay… maybe it was about the thrill of seeing him look at me that way as I walked down the aisle. You can’t blame a girl for that.

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

My father shook his hand. The next-door neighbor gave the blessing. Our siblings did the readings. We wrote our own vows. We even planted a tree. There were moments that made me smile, and moments, of course, that made me cry. I remember reacting to my brother, who in a rare moment of sentimentality called his big sister beautiful. That’s the funny thing about weddings. Every person who agrees to be there reveals their love for you. Not just the person holding your hand.

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

Rings were passed onto fingers, and when he looked in my eyes and called me his wife for the very first time, I didn’t know if my heart would be able to handle that much unbridled joy. Just like that, I had a husband. A long-haired, drum-playing, technology-obsessed, Croatian guy named Vinny from Queens. He is really nothing like the type of guy I ever pictured myself marrying. And so much more than I ever hoped my husband would be.

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

Nearly ten years ago, we sat on this swing in my father’s backyard and discussed the idea of dating. Seems like so long ago. But it also kind of feels like it was yesterday. Though there have been some dips and curves along the way, taking this road with him has been the greatest adventure of my life. So far, anyway.

Jennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical WeddingJennifer & Vincents Backyard Wedding In Texas | A Practical Wedding

The Info—Photographers: Jason + Anna / Location: Kemah, Texas / Venue: Jennifer’s father’s backyard / Jennifer’s Dress: RK Bridal, NYC / Vincent’s Suit: J. Crew / Bridesmaids Dresses: J. Crew

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  • Emmers

    “He is really nothing like the type of guy I ever pictured myself marrying. And so much more than I ever hoped my husband would be.”

    Yes!

  • Kait

    This: “The truth is, I would have rather stayed unmarried to him forever than gotten married to anyone else. It was never just about getting married. It was never just a desire to have a beautiful wedding. It was about the two of us finally looking outward in the same direction, and looking forward to a long life with someone I have loved for a long time. ”

    This is why after five years, some waiting, and a lot of talking we will be getting married in a little over three months!

    So eloquently written, looks like you had a perfect day.

    • http://www.devabydefinition.com deva

      Congratulations on your upcoming wedding :-)!

  • http://www.devabydefinition.com deva

    II am totally in agreeance with Kait, above about this: “It was never just a desire to have a beautiful wedding. It was about the two of us finally looking outward in the same direction, and looking forward to a long life with someone I have loved for a long time.”

    We got engaged after being together 6 years and living together for 5. Our wedding was 4 days after our 7th dating anniversary, and I remember how big my heart felt when we were pronounced as husband and wife and introduced as married for the first time, for us, our wedding was for these reasons, though we were in it for the long run long before we got engaged.

    It’s fun to say “this is my husband.”

    • Liz

      Deva, are you me? We also got engaged after dating for 6 years and living together for 5. Our wedding will be 10 days after our 7th wedding anniversary. (Three months! I can’t wait!)

      • becky

        that’s us too!! Getting married 11/22 and our 7th dating anniversary is 12/1. Happy days, guys :)

  • http://irvingplace.net Kayjayoh

    [suddenly realizing that we totally need to have donuts at our reception]

    • Emily

      And they’re from Shipley’s!!!

      Which is probably meaningless to anyone not from Texas, but I got totally excited.

    • Aubry

      YUP! Just saw that and thought, “getting Honey’s for my wedding.” Which no one who isn’t from Vancouver will understand, but I assume is on par with Shipley’s.

      • Erin

        NOTHING is on par with Shipley’s, dahling.

  • Cleo

    “Every person who agrees to be there reveals their love for you. Not just the person holding your hand.”

    This. What a beautiful and true sentiment.

    • VivaLuisa

      That’s exactly what I was going to say! This is the best summary I’ve ever heard of why weddings are so wonderful.

    • http://partialto.tumblr.com LIZ (SINCE 1982)

      Yes! I came here to quote this! That and all the thoughts on marrying after long-term dating are just gold.

  • Jes

    This post describes my relationship completely. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. After 7 years of the similar “I’m ready, he is not – It isn’t about the wedding itself, but being in the same place” scenario, in a month I finally get to experience that joy! =)

  • catherine

    Absolutely love this. I’m from the South and I miss that sweetness…makes me nostalgic and kind of wish we could have our wedding in North Carolina. We’re having ours most likely in California, but I want to bring as much of the South into it as I can! Beautiful wedding..love the pie…

  • Rachel

    Ohhhhh, this: “that period of struggle—when I was ready, and he was not—taught us how to truly communicate our needs to each other. ” Lovely.

    Also, it’s great to see a wedding post wherein a woman talks openly about being ready to be married before her partner. I feel like that is such a taboo thing to admit, particularly among progressive women, something that definitely made it harder for me when I was in a similar position a couple of years ago. I think it’s easy to gloss that over once you’ve made it through that period, so I appreciated that you included it here.

    Annnd on a completely shallow note, you two are one hot couple!

  • http://cookie-loves.com Cookie

    We got engaged after over 7 years together and it was truly worth the wait. It is so true what you said : “I’d rather be unmarried to him forever than marry anyone else.”
    Congrats, Love, Best of Luck!

  • http://sweetandwildchild.blogspot.com Jackie

    This is the sweetest, most heartfelt little post. I’m so happy for you that you two finally are looking in the same direction, now as husband and wife :)

  • LifeSheWrote

    This is incredibly moving. I love the sentiment behind this writing.

    And separately, the wedding itself looks gorgeous and so so special!

  • Kater

    Beautiful! Just lovely.

    Found myself nodding my head as I went along, especially at: ”I would like to be married, but if it’s not in the cards, I’ll make my peace with that.”

    Congratulations & thank you!

  • http://byjacki.com Jacki

    Oh yay! Jenn, I’ve had such a lady crush on your blog for a long time and loved revisiting your wedding photos today on APW. And I love, love this: “The truth is, I would have rather stayed unmarried to him forever than gotten married to anyone else.”

  • ENGINEERINGMYWEDDING

    When I read the first line of the post, I almost thought it was about me. We got engaged on our 7 yr anniversary (wedding will be on the 10th anniversary). Although, I was sometimes visibly impatient with him not being ready, underneath it all, my sentiment was exactly this: “The truth is, I would have rather stayed unmarried to him forever than gotten married to anyone else.”

  • http://muchtomydelight.com Jenn from Much to My Delight

    Thank you so much for all the lovely feedback! I love how supportive and encouraging this community is. Thanks for reading and making my day with your sweet comments.

  • AVA

    Oh man, this: “That’s the funny thing about weddings. Every person who agrees to be there reveals their love for you. Not just the person holding your hand.”

    Where was the tear-jerker warning?

  • Katie

    OMG! I know that guy! How funny to have a friend of a friend of your husband pop up during your morning reading over coffee…..

    Also, I recently got married after being together for 9 years, and it was totally worth the wait for not just me, but for both of us to be ready and totally on board. I wouldn’t do it differently.

  • http://cloverandlace.com Helen

    Congratulations!!!

  • Hintzy

    So much love for this post, especially the mention of the struggle that is being ready for marriage when your partner is not. It was an inward struggle for us in communication and an outward struggle for me in dealing with criticism and social constructs that tried so hard to tell me that it was not worth it to try and grow together even if we grew at different rates. We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary by getting married, and we are so very excited.

    Congratulations to you both!

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