One of the things I hear most often from the couples I work with is, “This is my first time planning a wedding! I don’t know what I’m doing!” This line usually precedes or follows a conversation about which parts of wedding planning are indeed necessary. Because for as much as we talk about ignoring the WIC ‘s expectations and doing what’s meaningful to us, it’s not always as cut and dried as, “This is meaningful to me, and this is not.” Sometimes things aren’t important enough to have a pre-formed opinion about, and we end up somewhere on the fence.
For example, I recently had a conversation with a couple I’m working with, who weren’t sure about whether or not they should have favors for their wedding. Do they need them? No. Do they want them? Maybe? Is the work of procuring said favors worth it? Only they can know. But it was nice to be able to weigh in as someone who has been around the block a few times to add a layer of experience to the conversation. (My conclusion? Favors are worth it if you enjoy buying/making/giving them, and if you don’t think they’re going to get left behind on tables. And if you’re still not sure, make it the last project you work on, so it becomes easy to veto in the eleventh hour.)
That conversation made me realize that there are probably tons of you who are on the fence about things are sort of important, but not important enough for you to have a hard and fast opinion about them. And while not everyone around these parts is a wedding professional (though if you are, stick around and help a sister out?), there are tons and tons of readers in the APW community who have gotten married, and who have their own stories about what ended up being worth it and what didn’t for their weddings. So today we’re open up this thread to help sort out those nagging will-we/won’t-we coin tosses. So give it to us. What are you on the fence about? Is there anything you secretly wish someone else would make up your mind about? Married folks: lend your experience and expertise. APW might not have its own big book of lists, but that doesn’t mean we won’t do our best to help you cross things off anyway.
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