Open Thread: Registering For Wedding Gifts


'Cause we're living in a material world...

by Rachel W. Miller, Contributing Editor

Open Thread: Registering For Wedding Gifts | A Practical Wedding

I have always really loved stuff. Stuff that promises to make my life better. Beauty stuff. Cooking stuff. Healthy stuff. As Seen on TV stuff. Oh, and let me tell you about some stuff that will make your life better! I’m a marketer’s dream.

When I was in high school, I learned about the five love languages and realized mine was gifting. So I wasn’t materialistic after all… I just wanted to feel loved! And to shower you in love! (For the most part. Some days I’m just straight-up materialistic.) When I was younger I acquired a lot of stuff, which made both moving and my credit score really miserable. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that the easiest way for me to resist temptation is by only buying stuff that I truly feel like I’m investing in.

As a lover of objects, I was surprised that when it came time to register for our wedding, I just… couldn’t. I love giving and receiving stuff, but registries are complicated; even though Meg sold me on the idea of a barn raising (after some convincing), I just didn’t want to deal. (Unsurprising: when I told Eric I didn’t want to register, I got the classic starving-puppy-stink-face yet again.) Last month, after a comment intervention, you all convinced me it’s okay to register for china, if that was what I really wanted. But I promptly realized I didn’t know what china I even wanted, or what the best kind is. (Because it can’t just be about pretty patterns, right? Oh it is? Okay, then I want to know who, exactly, has the prettiest patterns!) Same goes for measuring cups, and sheets, and toasters. Last week I emailed Meg demanding to know the super expensive toaster she swears by. Five years ago, I never would have understood paying more than $18 for a toaster; now I’ve come to accept that NOT ALL TOASTERS ARE CREATED EQUAL. It’s easy to claim that objects doesn’t matter, but as someone who curses her garbage can pretty much every day (Eric wanted this particular one; I hate it), I know that stuff can change your life… or at least your mood as you’re going about your daily routine.

All of that obviously means, it’s open thread time.

Let’s talk the specifics of your favorites (LINKS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN). What did you register for and love? What is the thing you’re most excited about on your registry? If you don’t/haven’t/won’t register, view this as a chance to spill about your best-ever consumer finds.

  • What bedding do you swear by? (Mine: a Tempur-Pedic mattress topper from Kohl’s that turned our IKEA mattress into sleeping on clouds in Heaven.)
  • Which kitchen gadgets are worth the splurge? (Mine: the Kitchen-Aid stand mixer and the Magic Bullet. Note: DO NOT BUY A KNOCKOFF MAGIC BULLET, THEY ARE ALL AWFUL.)
  • Which As Seen on TV product is really as good as the informercial makes it seem? (Tie: the Magic Bullet and the Vidalia Chop Wizard.)
  • What Dutch oven will last me until my hypothetical children go to college? (I’d really like to know.)
  • Are there any WASPs in the house to offer a “buying silver 101″ lesson? (Meg’s Note: The WASPs lesson is to just wait around till someone dies and inherit silver that you don’t pick, so maybe someone else can spill?)

I know I’m not the only one who finds the idea of registering painful. And I know I’m not the only one who’s had people ask forty-seven billion times where we’re registered. So. If we’re going to suck it up and ask for this stuff, and if someone is going to be kind enough to buy us this stuff, let’s be sure it’s the stuff we’ll really love and use forever.

In other words, let’s take a quick time out for a lovely afternoon of rolling in consumer goods. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.

Photo from Rachel’s personal collection; tea set was a wedding gift from her uncle to her parents

Rachel W. Miller

For most of her life, Rachel has loved the sound of her own voice. She loves reading, doing yoga (she still refuses to call it “practicing”), hanging out with her dogs, and talking Eric’s ear off. She lives in Houston, TX. You can read more from her on her blog.

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  • Rebekah

    OH my gosh, APW. You read my mind again. Although honestly, many people are recently engaged and in the same place in planning, so I guess you’re just smart and I choose to think you’re psychic. (Don’t burst my bubble; it’s fun in here.)

    I spent the weekend combing the archives for wisdom on registries (and some suggested vendors) and will be scouring the replies here at the end of the day. As part of a couple that will be moving a month after the wedding, the best advice I’ve gotten so far is to register liberally at stores that have a good return policy and stores in many locations so that you can return everything and buy it again when you relocate. (Suggested stores were Target – who recently surrendered my credit card info to hackers – and BB&B, although Kohl’s has a good return policy too)

    • mimi

      We registered at Crate & Barrel and Sur La Table, and had great experiences with both. They offer completion discounts for several months after the wedding too.

  • http://heartsvsbrains.tumblr.com/ HeartvsBrain

    Hands down best gift we got was our Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. I use it more than all my other wedding gifts combined.

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      Oooh good call! We have a cheap(ish) ice cream maker from Harbor Beach that has been working well for the past couple years! May I recommend making lavender ice cream in your sometime? It’s basically the best ice cream I’ve ever had.

      • TravelingYarn

        Nope, goat cheese + fig ice cream. By far the best EVAR ;)

      • Caroline

        Nope, best is creme fraiche ice cream with caramel sauce on top.

  • emilyg25

    I also love stuff but felt super ambivalent about registering. But a few older ladies in my life convinced me that it’s the way to go. We registered at Crate & Barrel because we like their housewares and already have most of the appliances we need. Their customer service was marvelous. Our favorite thing we registered for is the Aspen dishes, classic whiteware, sturdy enough for every day but fine enough for fancy dinners. And hot pink linen napkins! We registered for four, but my husband’s uncle sent us eight “so we’d have enough for a party.” We fancy!

    Yes, the Kitchenaid mixer is totally worth it if you bake a lot and/or like the attachments. I have a nice Le Creuset dutch oven that’s pretty boss, but I also really love the Tramontina stainless steel cookware that Walmart sells super cheap. We swear by Shun knives. We got a Cuisinart food processor for our wedding, and it’s a beast. It’s actually kind of frightening to use because it’s so FAST and SHARP and SHINY.

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      Hot pink linen napkins!! I want to go to a dinner party at your place!

      Also, my mom gave us that Cuisinart food processor a couple years ago (it was on sale at Macy’s and we cook a lot) and…I hate it. I’ve literally never been able to get it to work. I think it’s defective. Unfortunately I was so overwhelmed by all the attachments, the badly-written directions, and the DVD that came with it (I shouldn’t need a DVD to work a kitchen appliance, and also, when you have just moved & purchase a new food processor for your new home, your TV/DVD player is not set up yet) that I didn’t figure this out for some time…meaning there was nothing I could DO about it. So it’s still in our cabinet and it’s never worked once. I keep thinking it’s me.

      So yeah…beast indeed.

      • taygete05

        This is a little belated, but have you contacted Cuisinart? My mom has my great-aunt’s Cuisinart, and they were helpful when a gasket had to be replaced a few years ago (obvs this model is no longer on the general market). On the other hand, if it’s that stressful, just donate it, maybe? Even if it doesn’t work, possibly Goodwill could sell it for scrap? Is that a thing?

    • http://kara-tanoue.blogspot.com/ Kara T

      I second the Shun knives. Get a nakiri knife (Japanese vegetable knife). It’s one of the most useful knives I have ever had in my kitchen.

    • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

      I love Le Creuset cast iron stuff too….and you can always get them re-enameled years down the road, if need be. With that, they could easily be handed down to another generation. (Maybe even without reenameling…)

  • M.

    I recommend The Sweethome http://thesweethome.com/ (for housewares) and The Wirecutter http://thewirecutter.com/ (tech stuff) for exhaustive tests, comparisons, and recommendations. We were alllllll up in The Sweethome as we made our small registry. We felt weird about registering, but decided to for all the classic APW reasons, but we really wanted to think about what we could get a lot of use of in our small NYC apt and make sure it was a “good” one.

    Most excited to possibly get: ROOMBA!!! Saw one work its magic at fiance’s parents’ house, and oh the city dust and crumbs in front of the couch (guilty) I wouldn’t have to clean any more. I feel viscerally how much I would love this.

    ETA: If anyone is thinking about registering for a Vitamix, I cannot recommend enough! I never thought I’d live in a world where I felt a $400 blender would be such a big deal in my life, but there we are.

    • LW

      I am wondering if I can justify my desire for a vitamix. So they really are wonderful? How did you get a 400$ one?

      • Catherine McK

        I don’t know if I can justify it, but we really love ours. We told ourselves it was the only time in our lives we would ask for something that ridiculous. I make smoothies in it all the time and will be branching out to baby food this year. The blade spins so fast it will heat the soup you’re making, and it has a self cleaning feature. It’s just fun!

        • LW

          One more vitamix question. I was making babyfood in my regular blender (beets, parsnips and pork bits) and I guess there wasn’t enough stuff. So the food got all stuck on the sides and the blades spun without touching anything. Will a vitamix do that too, or will it somehow be able to blend it all even without added liquid.
          If anyone knows, I will be happy to hear.

          • meleyna

            Blenders typically need some added liquid in order to keep things moving. Food processor is your answer. Cuisinart is the best and will make your life easier, but a not fancy one will get the job done decently. If the food is still too thick after pureed, you can thin it with either expressed breast milk or formula. That way your added nutrients and not just water. I’ve actually written an article on all this if you’re interested.

          • Catherine McK

            I think it depends on how much food you have in there and moisture content. The vitamix does have a smaller container that you can purchase separately for littler portions. Food processor could work too, but I’ve had that flinging to the side problem with them as well, maybe a mini-prep?

          • meleyna

            I really like this mini prep option. I probably use the processor bowl and/or the regular immersion blender piece daily. Everyone should register for one, for baby food or not. (Tip: Costco carries it for WAY less.)
            http://www.amazon.com/Cuisinart-CSB-77-Blender-Chopper-Attachments/dp/B0006G3JRO

          • Heidi

            This is the same product I was going to recommend. I LOVE LOVE LOVE immersion blending for soups or smoothies.

          • Glen

            I make babyfood using a KitchenAid 3.5 cup food chopper on the puree setting. For example, I put in a couple of sweet potatoes, puree a bit, then add water until I get the right consistency. Works like a charm. OXO Ice Cube trays work well for freezing the extras.

          • SamiSidewinder

            I think you are always going to need a bit of water…

      • M.

        We have been using ours several times a week for two years, and I love it so so much. It realllly is wonderful. (See my list of awesome things I make somewhere below). Ours is from Costco, and Amazon has several versions for a range of prices. Depends on the size of container/how many containers you get, etc. But for us and the amount of use, totally justified!

      • Emily C
        • M.

          I’ve heard great things about Ninja. I think the Vitamix motors are more powerful than some of the Ninjas (ours is over 2 HP), tho Ninja also makes high speed blenders in diff power levels.

        • Liz

          I got the Ninja set from Costco as an engagement gift. I LOVE the single serving cups…it is so nice to make a smoothie in the morning and have nothing to clean up before I go to work! I’ve barely used the actual blender because these are so convenient.

      • stella

        I researched the crap out of Vitamix and Blendtec and went with a Blendtec. Less $ *esp at BBB with a coupon) and the regular jar fits under upper cabinets. Have had it about a year now and still love it.

    • karyn_arden

      My husband and I bought a Roomba 3 and a half years ago from Costco. If you don’t get one as a gift, buy it at Costco so if anything breaks, pretty much ever, you can get it replaced.

      Anyways, the Roomba is AWESOME. Just make sure you clean the brushes and wheels and the spinny-arm thing regularly so that they don’t get clogged up with hair.

    • Kaitlin

      Roomba is great! Even if you don’t get one on the registry, go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We used one of our 20% coupons while they were having a sale, and it saved us about $100 (we needed to get the Roomba for pet fur which was more expensive). Totally worth it.

    • NB

      I second the recommendation for The Sweethome and The Wirecutter’s reviews. They rock (though, in my experience, the Wirecutter tends to be a bit more exhaustive…I think because Sweethome is a relatively new off-shoot of the original site). Very straight-shooting, very good about letting you know when the splurge is worthwhile and when it might be best to wait—they haven’t steered me wrong yet.

  • MisterEHolmes

    Ugh, we went on our first foray into registry-world last night, in a nearly-empty Target and with a scanner that repeatedly died on us. I’m told this is supposed to be “fun.” I am instead mired in obligations and fears of impositions–”But that blender is WAY more expensive than this other one and I’m sure it blends just as well, probably, as the expensive one?” “But it’s RED!” “*whimper*” Also, my fiance has a position of “register for all the things and then go back and unregister for any duplicates. Is that the way it is done?

    • http://heartsvsbrains.tumblr.com/ HeartvsBrain

      Psst! You can just go online at Target and register for everything. Much less stressful and more options than a local store might have.

      • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

        Seconded! Also, my favorite online Target pick thus far (which we actually discovered in the store first) were BATH SHEETS. As my bff put it, “It’s like regular towels have been lying to you this whole time.”

        • http://heartsvsbrains.tumblr.com/ HeartvsBrain

          My husband was equally impressed with bath sheets when I introduced him to them. Prior to my moving in, he used beach towels because he’s a tall guy and needed more towel than the average one could give him.

        • KC

          They are so awesome. The only exception is laundry-wise, since they take up a lot of space in the washer (so, if you haul your laundry up and down several flights of stairs to a communal space that has a limited number of washers… you might swap between bath sheets and regular towels depending on whether you are more annoyed with the towel situation or more annoyed with the laundry situation).

      • Lindsey d.

        Anyone annoyed with the vagaries of the Target registry? Every time I log in I have eight alerts that something is no longer available. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don’t. Very frustrating.

    • MisterEHolmes

      Also, he talked me into registering for a file cabinet, of all things. Practical, sure, but is that under the usual purview of wedding registries? Am I overthinking? (Oh god I’m overthinking)

      • Rebekah

        I want to register for a fireproof safe. Feel better?

        • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

          If someone I knew registered for that, I’d be the one to buy it for them. That’s both practical and sort of romantic and, to me, the “barn” Meg speaks of. It’s a place to put your marriage certificate, among other things.

          Organizing your shit as a married couple is no joke. (Twice the paperwork! Tax season!) File cabinets and such seem awesome to me!

        • MisterEHolmes

          Yes, lol!

        • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

          What a good idea!

        • lolauren

          Good idea! Just added this to our registry :)

      • KC

        We registered for duct tape. Someone was way past thrilled to buy it for us. Go for it. :-)

    • Jennifer

      We registered for everything we thought we might want while in the store, then went back home and sorted through the mess. Some things that we thought were SO IMPORTANT in the store actually weren’t, once we took a breath and actually thought about it.

    • Laurel

      We registered for all the things at Target and then price shopped at Amazon and Macys and ended up getting rid of the Target registry completely. I cannot say enough good things about registering at Amazon, though. They were so awesome at returns, and made finding everything a breeze (I heard horror stories about returns at Target, and Macy’s returns were kind of a hassle in my own experience). I am not all about registering for the most expensive, but I did register for some things that my ridiculous amount of research showed would last much longer, especially if it was something I wouldn’t normally buy for myself.

  • BreckW

    I second the Tempur-Pedic mattress topper rec. Best. Sleep. Ever.

    Also, not a splurge at all, but I got this OXO Salad Dressing Shaker (all the OXO stuff is excellent) for Christmas, and it is amazing. We have big salads for dinner at least once a week, and I pretty much always make a homemade vinaigrette to go with them, so being able to measure out dressing ingredients, mix them together, and serve it in one vessel makes me absurdly happy.

    Very interested in everyone’s bedding recs!

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      We also have Tempur-Pedic pillows, which you can get at Bed Bath & Beyond (20% off coupons FTW)! Eric gave me mine as a Valentine’s Day gift a couple years ago so everyone who wants to give something special for V Day…bedding, y’all!

      • BreckW

        Sooooo those pillows are going to be my birthday gift to myself… right now.

    • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

      Is there a particular topper or name that you love? I have an Ikea low-end mattress and might need to upgrade it with this sort of topper…. (I was thinking of buying a whole new mattress, but those are expensive and I am not sure it would be better..)

    • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

      And does it get hot in the summer? (I don’t have air conditioning…)

      • BreckW

        I believe we have this one, which is pretty reasonably priced: http://www.amazon.com/Density-Elastic-Memory-Foam-Mattress/dp/B004AR5X92/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389896291&sr=8-1&keywords=tempur+pedic+mattress+topper

        I don’t think it sleeps hot at all–at least, I haven’t noticed anything in the 2 years or so that we’ve had it. Oh, and we’ve never had A/C, either, but still no problems. I definitely recommend it (treat yo’self)!!

        • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

          Thanks, BreckW! I’ve redone my bedroom with new white Target sheets and a new white Ikea duvet cover. That I LOVE. But I was waiting to figure out if I need to buy a topper (seems a bit overwhelming!), so I will make a note of this one. :) Thank you!

          • BreckW

            Oooooooh that sounds really lovely and tranquil. You should absolutely go for the topper, then, since it’ll really complete the whole sleeping-on-a-cloud-slash-marshmallow vibe that you’ve got going :).

  • Laura C

    You guys have the best timing! We have been working on registering recently, using the “drink a bunch of wine and sit on the couch giggling” strategy. Does anyone else wish registries allowed you to caption the things you’re registering for? Because I feel like our registry would be a work of hilarious art if we could do that.

    We are mostly registering for kitchen stuff, because we looove kitchen stuff. We probably need to do some editing, though, because I think we might have gone overboard on the pots and pans. We aren’t getting china — or, we’re going to find another six-setting set of the cheap, fairly plain white stuff we’ve got, buy it ourselves, and then accessorize around that with fun tablecloths and napkins. I inherited crystal, he’ll inherit crystal (hopefully not until we have a house big enough to store it!).

    Kitchen: We swear by Le Creuset, though we’re also registering for some All-Clad since it’s union-made in America. I’d give Le Creuset as the answer to the dutch oven question, based on the fact that my parents are still using some that they’ve had since before I can remember.

    Bedding: We swear by our Cuddledown dual-warmth comforter, to cope with our different body thermostats.

    The other night after a particularly depressing trip to someone else’s registry, A was like “I just can’t register for stuff right now, it makes me feel dirty,” so we worked on our honeymoon registry, which was tons of fun — train tickets! museum passes for different cities! — although we just might need to edit our overly honest intro to that. (We’re using Wanderable because we couldn’t deal with the name Honeyfund, btw.)

    • Rebekah

      Link for the comforter, please! We are not only different temperatures normally, but prefer to sleep at different temps too.

    • BreckW

      Ha! Captions would be hilarious. Quick, someone invent that.

      Also, I’m curious about your overly honest intro…

      • Laura C

        It reads, in part: “Anyway! While of course we expect nothing and only want your presence at our wedding and support as family and friends, we do like to have stuff. Correction: we like having stuff, but really like having adventures. Our collection of DVDs and kitchen appliances is functional, if a little mundane, but we do enjoy having exciting experiences together, like nice cocktails and occasionally food. So please send us somewhere fun with wine. Or, if you prefer to do the registry thing, give us stuff! Or nothing but your aforementioned presence and/or love.”

        • BreckW

          Loves it. Though I can see why you might need to edit it for a different audience :).

    • ART

      Amazon lets you add comments for each item! I have to hold myself back…

      Also, All Clad is amazing and totally different from Le Creuset – we have both, and I have all 4 sizes of All Clad frying pans and they are ALL worth it. Sadly, this means I am having a harder time with my registry, because did I mention I already have all 4 sizes?

      • UpstateNYBride

        I am using Amazon as one of my registries and the captioning is helpful I think. Some folks may look at an item and judge why you have put it on your registry…so the captions are nice to explain things like “We borrow my mom’s ice cream maker all the time because we are vegan and making homemade vegan ice cream is awesome! Having our own ice cream maker would be great and get plenty of use!”
        I’ve added other captions for certain items (not all) with cute stories of how the item would be used and could improve our home.

        • Kestrel

          Yes… plus you can add some humor. We registered for a jar opener and the caption was “So K can still open jars when B’s not around”.

      • Jennifer

        I live in southwest PA near where All Clad is made…twice a year they have a factory sale where items are on major discount that have minor cosmetic defects (seriously, I can’t even tell on some pieces) and are still backed by life! They just held their December sale BUT are getting ready to hold their online only VIP sale next week, I believe. Good luck for those who don’t live near Canonsburg! I was able to buy a 10 piece set for $400 at the sale in December (Originally $800).

        • ART

          Yes! All of mine are from HomeGoods/TJ Maxx, and have the “S” (seconds) stamp on the back of the handle, but I really cannot tell why they are seconds! I had to buy my saucier from Macy’s because they never seem to have those at HomeGoods, but it was so worth it.

    • Cait

      The “drink a bunch of wine and sit on the couch giggling” strategy is the best strategy. Mostly because we realized we really needed beer glasses, wine glasses, corkscrews, etc. :)

  • St. Paul MN

    We

  • Catherine McK

    Oh fun! (NB: wedding registering was such a different beast for than baby registering… I had all the house stuff picked out since I was…in college? Baby registering = what the heck does this child need? Does it all really have to be in ugly plastic)

    Favorite splurge: vitamix. Yes, it is ridiculous, but we got lots of gift cards and our lovely guests wiped out our registry, leaving only this: http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-1005834/?affsrcid=Aff0001&CAWELAID=120120820000000026&cagpspn=pla It’s amazing. So much fun. You can make hummous without tahini, you just put sesame seeds in!

    We got this dutch oven:
    http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-1272392/Staub+Grenadine+Oval+Cocotte
    I’ll admit that I chose Staub over Le Creuset because I like the colors better. They’re both lovely.

    As for silver, yeah, agree with Meg, inheriting is the way to go. We did get a few supplementary pieces to match my grandma’s, so that was nice!

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      In the time since I wrote this post, we actually registered and chose the Staub as well…for the colors as well. :)

      I read a TON of reviews before making that decision and I really feel like you can’t go wrong with either!

      • Rebekah

        My dutch oven is a Lodge brand (on sale with coupon at my mom’s grocery store) that she bought for me 3 Christmases ago. It’s wonderful and is a respected brand, even though it’s not French. My 2 cents. You’ll love whatever you get, most likely.

      • Lucy

        With Le Creuset or Staub the important thing to me (besides colors) is sizes! We finally settled on a 5 qt for everyday and 9 qt for entertaining. I also added in a small 1 1/4 qt sauce pot. I asked a ton of people about what sizes they use and that’s what came back. I also second someone’s commonet about the braiser from Le Creuset. Amazing!

        • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

          I read something like that too! We did the 5.75 qt Staub.

    • M.

      Vitamix is WIN. We make *everything* in ours – smoothies, soups, nut creams (vegan cashew cream for vodka sauce, for example), puddings, powdered sugar, and you can also get cooked puddings/sauces to BOIL in it. Love. It.

    • Lucy

      We will likely inherit silver as well, but you can also buy a lot of it secondhand. There are a few very reputable showrooms/sites (I am forgetting at the moment…) but there is a chance this will my parents’ gift to us. That is what their parents did for them as well.

    • Audrey

      I am in the process of baby registering myself, and so glad that someone else understands my pain. We don’t do plastic stuff in our house as much as possible, and now it seems like it’s on it’s way in UGH. I’m finding some good options, but so afraid that enough people will go off registry that the house is going to look like the invasion of the plastic!

  • Sarah

    I actually had a lot of fun putting our registry together. We still live in a tiny apartment and didn’t need some of the traditional things like silverware, but I tried very hard to find things at a variety of price points that would be beautiful, timeless, and would serve as reminders of all the people who love us. We received many many wonderful gifts, including a KitchenAid and some attachments (ice cream maker ftw!), a crystal ice bucket (not actually on the registry) and a great start to a new dish set. Probably my favorite gift though, and one I’ll treasure forever, was this set of candlesticks: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/3-piece-arden-candleholder-set/f35282

  • InTheBurbs

    We registered at Crate and Barrel and Target. What I love about C&B is that you get 10% off anything you buy after your wedding date – whether it’s on the registry or not – they mail you a little card.

    My favorite thing…our dishes match – and we finally have serving pieces – that match the dishes.

    My frustration…Target gives you a 10% off card as well – but it’s only for 1 day and the items have to be from registry.

    • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

      That was my biggest frustration with the target completion discount, too.

  • macrain

    Everyone says registering is the best, but I’m dreading it. I feel like I’m already paralyzed with fear that I’ll choose a zillion things we don’t even need and neglect to get the things we do need! This thread is much appreciated!

    • Lindsey d.

      I felt the same way and fiance suggested that we both start making notes of things as we realize we need/want them. So we went to the store and later added more things online with a clear picture of what we were looking for.

    • Maddie Eisenhart

      You know what? That’s totally OK. We were broke and 22/25 when we registered. We had NO idea what we needed for our lives. That is OK. We did our best. Did we have to part with some gifts when we moved across the country? Yup. Did it suck (hello guilt trip)? Yup. But it’s part of growing up as a couple together. THAT said, you kind of can’t go wrong with the basics. Everybody’s gotta make food and clean up the house (if you don’t, I want your life.) So the stuff that’s made it through the three moves since we got married are: pots, pans, dishes (we didn’t have a matching set when we got married, so we got white basic stuff from BB&B), our amazing dyson. Our toaster got mouse poop in it. And every day I regret not registering for a kick ass blender (What will we need a blender for, I asked? EVERYTHING MADDIE, EVERYTHING.) Such is life. You can’t fail at this. :)

    • NB

      Registering is kiiiind of the best. Maybe? The zapper guns are pretty cool. And then it gets kind of awful really quickly! I recommend starting early if you can, and paring your list down as you stop and think about what you might, or might not want/use. Online registries are awesome for this (and you, can usually set them to private if you are still figuring things out). Two things to remember:
      (1) People go to your registry because they want to buy things for you. It kind of feels icky sometimes to specifically ask for things, but they really do want to know what you want. And, those that have something special in mind? They can totally still go off registry. It will be ok.
      (2) Beer + snacks breaks are key to the registry experience. *Especially* if you register in person, somewhere like BBB. It is really, really helpful to be able to step outside with your Person, eat some french fries, and not be faced with a zillion well-meaning questions about all the Important Stemware Decisions you should have thought about but haven’t, yet.

      At least, that was my experience. French fries for everyone!

      • macrain

        I am on board with the “people go to your registry because they want to buy things for you” concept, but I’m having a hard time convincing my fiance of this. “But we don’t need anything” and “let’s just register at one place and for as little as possible” are common refrains. I keep trying to explain to him that it’s better to make things easy for our guests who want to buy us gifts by giving them a variety of options. We have actually locked horns over the registry more than once! Who knew we would fight over a freaking registry?! I never dreamed that would be a thing.

  • APracticalLaura

    Honestly? We didn’t register for these, but got them when we moved in together, but (REAL!) tupperware has been our best home good. We no longer have loads of mismatched reused containers or old, rotting food in the back of our fridge. These 3 “Vent N Serve” containers are all we need! (I admit, we have the clear color which they no longer make and is extra nice since you can see what’s in there)

    http://order.tupperware.com/coe/app/tup_show_item.show_item_detail?fv_item_category_code=4000&fv_item_number=P10109479000

  • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

    I also like stuff. Mostly kitchen stuff. The stuff I swear by in my kitchen:
    1: the Elevate Cooking utensil set from Joseph-Joseph. They have built-in spoon rests and weighted handles to keep them up off your stove or counter, which is EPIC (and reduces the need for spoon rests in many cases. Also, they look cool): http://www.josephjoseph.com/product/elevate-gift-box-set.
    2: OXO Salad Spinner.
    3: Our Gravy Boat We use ours for maple syrup for pancakes and pasta sauce most often.
    4: Riedel Wine glasses
    5: Circulon 14-inch skillet. It’s used for all the things.

    • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

      And replying to myself to say that I use my KitchenAid mixer at least twice a week, if not more. I love that I can use it to make things like, meatloaf and meatballs along with bread and cookies and ice cream. It’s super versatile if you like cooking!

      • InTheBurbs

        We got the ice cream maker attachment for the mixer – but haven’t used it yet…someday it will be warm again…

        • Kendra D

          My Mom got me the ice cream maker attachment for my Kitchen Aid this past Christmas, it’s in Texas and I get to claim it in 4 weeks. I cannot wait to make ice cream and will do so, regardless of the temperature outside.

    • BreckW

      I also have the OXO Salad Spinner, which I love.

    • Peabody_Bites

      Riedel wine glasses are the best – they also make beautifully shaped and balanced water glasses (or stemless wine glass that work as water glasses). Plus, wine glasses is a fun thing to give someone and easy to personalise – when we were doing our registry, I thought a lot about what I liked giving people, and tried to take it into account.
      Joseph and Joseph also do a great set of mixing bowls which all fit inside one another. Perfect for small apartments and they look cool. Actually, I love all their stuff.

      • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

        I love using my stemless wine glasses for juice – they’re perfectly sized for that!
        and I adore the Joseph and Joseph mixing bowls! I love that they nest perfectly and they may be one of my gifts to my sister at her graduation in May.

    • Caroline

      Are reidels worth the cost? They seem so expensive for something I imagine breaking a lot. Are they sturdy? Are they really that much nicer than our hand-me-down and ikea and dollar store glasses? I’m unsure. Why do you love them?

      • Glen

        The Reidel glasses are very sturdy (only 1 broken out of about 32 glasses in about 8 years, including 3 moves). The handful of classes on wine I’ve been to all used Reidel glasses. Either I’m easily influenced or it does make a difference. :-) Oh, and you can set up a registry on their website, then they send you 15% off coupons pretty regularly.

      • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

        I like them because they are light, primarily – I just like how they feel when I hold them. They have held up pretty well for me, but I think I’m more careful with them. For me, it was all about shape and weight with the riedels. (Also, I apologies for not replying sooner – my Disqus reply notifications got turned off!!)

  • Amy M.

    I am hoping to receive a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer, a few non-stick enamel saucepans (no more chemical-y stuff peeling off the bottom, yay!) and a new vacuum (the Shark NV502 which my future mother-in-law swears by). We actually have two fairly small registries, but I filled out our Amazon.com one by adding in things like drawer organizers, Tupperware storage bins, and some simple glass canisters for our countertops. Useful, not too expensive, and doesn’t everyone need organizational stuff?
    Note to the APW community- I had all the standard qualms about registries that I’ve already seen on this site (isn’t this materialist/greedy/tacky of us? How can I possibly ask someone to buy me a $300+ mixer? and more) but my best friend asked me if I had ever thought anyone else in my life was materialist/greedy/tacky for using a wedding registry and I said no, and she said, “Then no one is going to think it about you, especially not the people who know you.” That really adjusted my perspective! Don’t do it if you don’t want to, but they definitely are helpful or inspirational for people who want to celebrate your wedding with a gift.
    Finally, Rachel, if you’re looking for a Dutch oven, mine is from Lodge (model L8DD3), and I love it because in addition to being American made and absolutely indestructible, the lid is also a skillet! Two notes of caution though- cast iron is heavy, so be careful if you have a glass-topped electric stove like I do, and if you don’t want to season standard cast iron, get the enameled ones (the E6D43 looks lovely!)

    • Jennifer

      Ditto on the Lodge dutch oven! I would love a Le Creuset one, but I don’t have that much money to spend on a dutch oven. The Lodge I bought my fiance for Christmas last year works wonderfully :)

    • Ashlyn

      Yes to the Lodge Dutch Oven – I don’t’ know what model we have but it is so good and comes in a multitude of enameled colors.

      The Kitchen-Aid stand mixer is one of our most used kitchen items from the registry.
      Fiestaware was our pick for sturdy every day dishes.

      • Amy M.

        Hahaha, I just replied up above that I also registered for Fiestaware (which I forgot to list here but I am definitely excited about). We have similar tastes! :-)

      • Liz

        Lodge Dutch Oven from Amazon all the way! I’ve had mine for several years. Lodge makes good quality and enameled cast iron is enameled cast iron even without the Le Creuset label.

    • http://kara-tanoue.blogspot.com/ Kara T

      Lodge has been a great brand for us. We have a Lodge Cast Iron Skillet, and we love it.

  • Jennifer

    We went to Bed Bath & Beyond and registered with the scanner gun, and we went to Target and registered with the Target app (easier than the scanner gun with dying batteries). It was pretty overwhelming. I’ve gone back and updated the registries multiple times, after doing research on the best cookware/toaster/etc. There were some things I realized probably weren’t worth spending more money on (wine glasses – my fiance doesn’t even drink wine, why do we need fancy glassware?), and some things that absolutely were (Cuisinart food processor).

    I’m most excited for:
    The Cuisinart MultiClad Pro cookware
    http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/Cuisinart-reg-MultiClad-Pro-Stainless-Steel-12-Piece-Cookware-Set/1013743843?categoryId=12063
    It’s less pricey than All-Clad but has great reviews. I went ahead and bought the saute pan as a Christmas present to myself…and I LOVE IT. I’ve been eating non-stick coating flakes for years from my old pans (that’s healthy, right?) so I’m ecstatic to finally have good solid cookware that will last me years. My mom still uses her whole stainless set she got when my parents married over 30 years ago, and it is still in great shape.
    Every Day Bone China http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/Fitz-and-Floyd-reg-Nevaeh-Everyday-Bone-China/116739?Keyword=bone+china It isn’t fancy, but it is durable and oven safe! I’m looking forward to having enough matching plates for more than 3 people at a time.
    I’m sure there are more, but those were the two things that came to mind!

  • G

    A wedding registry secret (that’s not so secret). Some stores have deals with companies that if you register for a certain dollar amount of their products, print off a copy of your registry and mail it to them, they send you a free gift.

    We registered for a TON of wustoff knives, printed the registry, unregistered for all of the knives and got an awesome pair of kitchen shears for free. We use the shears all the time, I highly recommend them!

    • ElisabethJoanne

      Us, too – though our gifts were measuring cups and paring knives.

  • jhs

    1. We are on Simpleregistry.com and so far it’s been great! It’s basically a cash registry, but you register for specific things, from anywhere. Then people give you the cash for them and you buy them. It’s helpful because if you happen to get two of one thing, you can just use the cash for something else.
    2. We registered for everything from a LaundryPod and a Roomba to donations to charity to Honeymoon activities. I think I’m just most excited about the little kitchen/organizational stuff. I’m one of those people who never thinks to buy that stuff for myself, even though I need it.
    3. Registry, just in general, is frustrating because everyone keeps telling us to make our registry bigger. But we’ve already been living together! We don’t need that much stuff!

  • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

    Thing I am most excited about on our registry: Zojirushi 4-Liter Electric Water Boiler and Warmer. I have been drinking a lot of tea lately, and I hate having to keep reheating my water for another cup. This was recommended by a friend since it not only has a huge reservoir but it also holds the water steady at a couple of perfect-for-tea temperatures.

    Thing my mister is most excited about on our registry: Red Dragon Weed Dragon Backpack Propane Vapor Torch Kit. He snuck it in on me when I first created our registry on Amazon as a way to find out if there are “alerts” set to notify the other person that there are additions being made. Well, there aren’t, and I love the absurdity of it so much that it’s staying on the list. (Though I haven’t considered what will happen if someone actually buys it for us.)

    Thing that should definitely be on your registry if you’re a kitchen person: This KitchenAid 7-speed hand mixer. I love it almost as much as my stand mixer. The first speed is really low, which is a nice feature if you just want to barely blend something, but the higher speeds definitely have some ommph.

    • BreckW

      I’ve heard the Zojirushi is AMAZING! I hope you get it!

      • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

        Thanks, me too! Though I might just break down and buy it for myself since I start working from home next week. A happy-office-to-me! present.

    • JessPeebs

      This is how my husband got a freaking MACHETE from sears. I didn’t know he scanned it and one of his friends thought it was too perfect to pass up… sigh.

      • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

        Did you keep it?? Does it have a place of honor above your mantle or bed??

        • JessPeebs

          We kept it… but its relegated to a hook in our garage :)

  • TeaforTwo

    I also felt really uncomfortable registering. I was worried I was choosing things that were too expensive, worried about looking greedy, etc. and I thought that it wouldn’t feel as special to get gifts that I had chosen myself. In the end: I was completely blown away and humbled by the generosity that many of our guests showed us, and I would add the pro-registry argument that for those folks who WANT to splash out and spend, say $500 on a wedding gift for you, the registry makes it easy for them to do that and know it’s on something you’ll love and use. And now, one month after our wedding, I feel so loved and taken care of every time I open our cupboards.

    So. A few favourite wedding gifts:

    -Our china. We registered for open stock Kate Spade china, which meant that folks could really choose their price point: instead of buying full place settings, plates, bowls etc. were priced individually. That way the gift could be in basically any denomination of $15ish.

    -Falk copper pans, which were an off-registry surprise from someone who well knows how much I love to cook. They are beautiful, more durable than lots of other brands of copper, and truly luxurious to cook with. http://falkcoppercookware.ca/

    - This braiser, in Dune, which I’ve used half a dozen times in the three weeks that we’ve been home from our honeymoon. It’s got such a great big wide cooking surface for browning meat, and is just the thing for this time of year. http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/le-creuset-signature-braiser/

    -This vacuum, which is cordless and so has completely eliminated everything I hated about vacuuming and now our condo is SO CLEAN. http://www.dysoncanada.ca/en-CA/vacuumcleaners/cordless/dc45/dc45-animal.aspx

    -We also registered for a whiskey decanter and super-heavy crystal double old-fashioned glasses. Silly luxury? Probably. But our cocktail-hours-for-two are my favourite.

  • APracticalLaura
  • L

    I’m getting a little jealous just reading all the sentences starting with “we” on this open thread! Is there anyone else out there whose partner has ZERO interest in registering? He’s an outdoorsy type of guy, but even the idea of registering at REI didn’t spark his interest. So far I can’t get him past, “can’t we just ask for cash?” I’ve gone through “a lot of people will buy us STUFF either way – we should give them a guide” til I’m blue in the face.
    Is anyone else in a similar situation?

    • Alexis

      Maybe you’ve already tried this, but my husband also had zero interest in creating a registry until we were IN THE STORE… Wandering around Bed Bath and Beyond and seeing all the coffee maker options, the woks, the roasting pans, cool kitchen utensils that we realized we didn’t have but had always wanted, feeling the towels, sharing a funny experience dealing with the crazy lady that worked in the china dept., etc., definitely helped peak his interest. That being said, he was pretty much done after that trip :-/ but at least I felt more confident that we were on the same page in terms of stuff we both liked while I completed most of our registry solo.

      • Lucy

        Same experience! It was like pulling teeth until we got to the store and he could visualize us cooking up a storm with some cool stuff.

    • ElisabethJoanne

      He wasn’t very excited, but our friends needed a registry. It was one of the first questions when we got engaged. We started together at the stores, but I let him wander off while I finished up.

    • caro

      L, my partner and I are reasonably outdoorsy, and both feel pressured about making quick decisions in stores. Amazon was the BEST thing for us. We could research items we really wanted for ratings and safety (three season tent! titanium cookware! climbing harnesses!) and link to rei, or wherever for purchasing. My husband was really into this and it made it much more fun to do together (even if “together” looked more like trading links at work than running around with a zapper gun.)

  • Ella

    My family literally bought almost everything on our registry. EVERYTHING. And we registered without holding back — both Macy’s and Williams Sonoma give you 10% off anything you register for as a “completion” discount on stuff people don’t get you after your wedding, so we figured we’d buy it ourselves if we didn’t get what we wanted. The only thing we really wanted but no one bought us (which was perfectly fine by us!) were these really awesome chef knives my husband wanted. And we bought them with the gift cards we got for our wedding and Christmas (with $$ leftover!) + 10% discount. So, go for it. Register for whatever you want because people will WANT to buy you something. And if they don’t, they won’t. They’ll write you a check or make you something or not gift you anything at all. It’s not greedy, I promise. Otherwise you’ll get a lot of duplicates and it’s really awkward at your shower to open three chip-and-dips….

    Actually, in a last-minute idea, I set up a honeymoon registry, too, since I figured our close friends (young, 20-somethings) would want an easy way to give us cash without writing a check. And it was a great decision. So many of our friends asked us about the things we did on our honeymoon because they “purchased” them for us. And it was really easy to set up various amounts — I had $10, $20, and $25 chunks so if someone only wanted to spend a little they could, and if they wanted to spend a lot they were able to do so, too. I think our friends really liked the ease of doing that.

    • KC

      I found out that apparently there’s a superstition about giving people knives, especially as a wedding present, because they can “cut love”. Which is obnoxious, because good kitchen knives are a boon to humanity!

      • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

        The “fix” to this superstition that I’m aware of is that you’re supposed to give one penny for each knife that you’ve gifted, and then the recipient is supposed to return the pennies to you as “payment” for the knives, so they’re not really a gift. So bring on the kitchen knives (and pennies)!

        • Caroline

          Yup, I give pennies as “payment” for knife gifts.

        • Ella

          That’s so cute! I’ve never heard of that before. :)

  • Meg

    This Cuisinart Griddler is the best wedding gift we got. We use it probably once or twice a week. The plates are dishwasher safe! And you can get waffle plates! And its big enough to cook a meal on, unlike our old George Foreman grill.

    http://www.cuisinart.com/m/products/grills/gr-4n

    • Brittany

      I love ours more than I could ever have imagined.

    • Jennifer

      I’d never even heard of the Griddler, but I am so glad you mentioned it! I registered for that and the waffle plates, and I was able to take several things of our registry since this one appliance can do it all. Thanks!

  • LW

    I eloped and so didn’t have a registry, and am fine with that. However, just yesterday I said to my husband “my only regret about not having a wedding is that we couldn’t register for a le creuset dutch oven.” And it’s true. The price makes it something I would have a hard time buying for myself, but a do-able wedding present for a group of people.
    Until we save up and I go for it, I am lucky to have kind neighbours who lend me theirs when I get a hankering for braised rabbit ragu.

    • Kendra D

      We also eloped and didn’t register as a result. My one regret is not getting a set of nice pots and pans. But, my plan is to buy them for myself eventually, maybe for our 5th anniversary.

    • Amy M.

      Get yourself a Lodge Dutch oven. I recommended it to Rachel below and they are way cheaper than Le Creuset and just as high-quality. If you have your heart set on that brand I hear if you keep your eyes open at T.J. Maxx and HomeGoods you may be able to find Le Creuset on deep discount. Good luck!

  • Amanda

    I rhusband stered for china at Macy’s and got a really cute Kate Spade pattern. I was pretty sure my side of the family wasn’t going to get me any, as it was pretty expensive, and I was right. I thought my husband’s side might buy some. We got a total of one place setting. I got some gift cards though, and bought a bunch of china with them. My mom said the same thing happened to her. Do people actually buy any of the china on wedding registries? Also, I picked a designer set of china, which means it never goes on sale. So keep that in mind if you think you’ll end up buying your own.

    Also, for kitchen implements, I highly reccomend Oxo. Everything they make is well thought through, ergonomic, and will last until the end of time.

    Plastic cutting boards. Get a nice thick one that you can throw in the dishwasher and you will have cleaner cutting boards.

    My favorite as seen on tv item is an orange device for opening packages. It has a box cutter, super scissors for cutting clamshell packaging, and even a screwdriver. It’s amazing. We keep it near t he mail and use it all the time.

    My husband and I have also have evolved our sleeping strategy so that we don’t share blankets, which is great. We like to be drastically different temperatures, so he can have one blanket while I have 5. We sleep on different sides of the bed anyway, and there’s so much less fighting about blanket stealing. I mention this because you don’t have to buy big blankets for the whole bed! We sleep on a king and we each sleep with full sized blankets.

    • Laura C

      I have noticed that china issue so many times, and always wonder what people do when they end up with only a couple place settings. I have some friends who to this day have maybe four place settings.

      BTW, lots of wooden cutting boards can go in the dishwasher too.

      • janeylicious

        I picked out china because everyone said we should, but I expect that to happen to us too.

        If we get more than four, we’ll just finish up the set so we can have something to use here and there. If we get less, I’m returning them to buy something else. Hell, unless we get the full 8-12 sets somehow, I might just return all of them because we won’t actually have any use for them for a long time.

        • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

          Our dishes were primarily from college, and not very “us,” so we registered for 6 sets of blue-and-taupe by Denby and 6 sets of Halo. We got all the blue-and-taupe and used our completion discount combined with a sale to get four sets of Halo (we literally could not fit more in our cabinets – at least, not where I could reach it, even with a step ladder). A friend of mine used the completion discount at Macy’s plus their reward dollars to buy all of her fancy china, which she uses more often than she thought she would. It’s heavy, which we like, but also nice enough to use for a nice dinner without being too much for every day.

          • janeylicious

            Our problem is of our doing – our everyday plates are plain white sets from Crate & Barrel. More “classic” and looks way better compared to some of the china we saw. Our parents have to be over for dinner or we have to have kids and then wait about 15 years to be able to justify using anything fancier.

            Other problem I’m having is that the china we picked out is $120 per set, and is one of the cheapest things on our registry (because that’s what else happens when 2 20somethings that have lived together for a while have Amazon Prime), while there are unemployed friends coming to our wedding. Feels so dumb to be asking for something like that because we really don’t need anything cheaper.

          • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

            Ahh, I like white china for that reason – it’s very classic!
            FWIW, I don’t think it’s dumb to register for the china. I don’t have much advice to offer beyond that when we registered for the higher price-point items we tried to think about how many people we had asking to help with our barn raising and putting together our baby family household, and then sort of extrapolated to think of some things as potential group gifts. I had a lot of second thoughts about the price point of our china and other things we registered for, so I know where you’re coming from.

          • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

            It doesn’t sound like you want china, but if you do decide to keep it…we registered for four sets, and then we registered for the remaining sets as individual pieces, trying to make it clear that you could buy us, like, a teacup and we’d really love that. (Because we would! In fact, I’d rather have a single teacup than a lot of price-equivalent gifts!) We also let family/close friends know why we’d done it that way, hoping they could mention it to anyone who was confused and mentioned it to them!

          • janeylicious

            I really shouldn’t complain because it’s a beautiful set that I’m sure we’d use eventually, and it’s better than a lot of other gifts people would come up with off registry. We only have 30 items on there for ~100 guests and more family, so…

            Putting separate pieces up seems like a good idea. That would at least signal that a single teacup is welcome too. I’ll have to go do that now. :D

          • Caroline

            I know, right? I really think a bowl or a salad plate of whatever china we register would be the best gift, even though it seems dopey to buy one bowl when you could buy, like, a salad spinner, but I want a full set of china so that plate would mean so much to me!

          • Emily Shepard

            We have the C&B white plates, too, and I think instead of registering for china, we’ll register for charger plates to make the plates fancy.

          • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

            I love my silver/chrome-color chargers. :) (That I use with my Pier 1 classic white plates when I want “fancy-looking.”.)

    • Kendra D

      My sister ended up with four place settings of her china set and I believe that someone in our family is giving her one set a year on her anniversary until she gets a full set. I know my aunts went together and got her the first two place settings so that they would at least have enough for special meals.

    • KC

      Amen to OXO.

      (we got maybe 11 sets of china, though. There were people coming to our wedding whose tradition [possibly to avoid any deliberation!] is to buy the couple a set of their china, so… that’s what they did. Groups of people: all different.)

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      We looked at a lot of china and Kate Spade was definitely on the short list…it’s so pretty and modern! One good thing is that most major designer brands are sold at Bed Bath & Beyond…so even if it doesn’t go on sale, those 20% off coupons will save the day!

  • Cat

    At a friend’s happy recommendation we’re registering with http://www.travelersjoy.com Honeymoon.will.be.awesome. We’ve got a lot of “stuff” and have lived together for most of our 6 years, so honeymooning seemed the best way to go… BUT I wonder if people will prefer to give THINGS? To me, experiences are way more fun, much more fun than a Kitchen-Aid or new plates – both things we can save for later. Making the trip registry has been a fun way to forced us to start planning the details of the trip. Anyway, it’s weird, but I’m feeling better about registering this way than I did when we started.

    And whatever happens, I’ll be married to my best guy, and we’ll remember the whole shebang for ever.

  • ART

    Great timing. We are also having trouble with registering, although it’s kind of nice to feel like we really don’t need *ANYTHING*! We already have IKEA dishes we love, don’t care about silverware in the least, and don’t want to store anything in our garage for the next few years.

    We are using Amazon – so far so good, because you can add stuff from any other store, and you can comment on each item (like, “Fiance has wanted one of these for years!” or “We love the smaller size we already have!”) But we haven’t shared it yet, so I am not sure how well it works for purchasing yet (though I’m sure it’s fine).

    I swear by my Rosti Margrethe mixing bowls and my All Clad stainless, so I am trying to round out our collection of those. I feel like every single set of sheets and towels in the world has mixed reviews, so I am just not sure what to do there. My splurge kitchen item – a Gel pro mat. Dude, my feet kill me after a day in the kitchen. I really hope I get that one! My fiance’s splurge item – a 100% wool pendleton blanket for camping.

    We also registered with Target to get the $20 gift card reward…don’t plan on using it though :)

    • Kayla

      I’m pretty sure the reason most linens have bad reviews is that a lot (a majority?) of people do not know how to properly wash them. You have to wash with vinegar when they are new to remove the coatings from the factory. And apparently fabric softener is really hard on linens, so you shouldn’t use it. If you read the 1-star reviews carefully, you’ll see a lot of references to fabric softener. What I did was buy a washcloth from the pattern I was looking at and washed it at home a bunch of times to see how it fared.

      • KC

        There are also a lot of linens that are poorly sewn, which is fairly variable (if you get a set where all seams were finished correctly, it’s great; if you get a set where they weren’t, it falls apart). I’ve been stunned at the increase in items where the seams just… fail. A wash or two in. (my parents linens: still going strong)

        (thanks for the vinegar tip, by the way! I already do not use fabric softener, but didn’t know about the first-wash-with-vinegar tip, except for dark colors)

        • Caroline

          See, we haven’t had any fall apart at the seams, but we’ve had three sets now where the fabric just gave out! We wore holes in sheets in less than 4 years. These were very expensive 300 thread count sheets. I don’t know what we were doing wrong. I really want to register for nice new sheets but after that experience, I’m terrified to buy or ask for expensive sheets. How do I pick sheets that will last? What am I doing wrong? (We wash them every week or two on warm with Eco-friendly soap, and no fabric softener.) this is with three different washers and dryers too.

          • lottie

            If it’s the same set of sheets that you’re using, then after 200+ washes, it’s not surprising that they fell apart. In the end, cotton is cotton and won’t last forever. Higher thread count sheets are more tightly woven (which makes them softer) but depending how they’re woven, they’re more or less durable (it has to do with how much of the thread is exposed versus protected). Older sheets, with lower thread counts that feel rougher, are sometimes thicker and last longer. If you alternate 2 sets of sheets, they’ll last longer (fewer washings). Top-loading washers with a spindle are harder on material than front-loading ones without a spindle, so that matters too.

          • Caroline

            We had three sets of sheets we alternated. I don’t know, I know my linens never went to peices so fast as a kid. It makes me really want linen sheets which I hear really do last about forever but that’s way out of budget. Well, at least it sounds like it’s not something we were doing wrong. I just expect sheets to last longer

      • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

        This is really great advice, and one more reason I desperately wish there were home ec classes for adults.

  • Kendra D

    We eloped and thus didn’t register when we got married back in 2010. Now that we’re having a ceremony this summer, we’re still not registering because I just don’t feel right about it. I’m one of those lucky ones who has inherited both silver and china, so we have that covered. Not that we’ll use them much, as both my husband and I are known for breaking dishes while washing them.

    I do wish I had been able to register for the Calphalon Commercial Hard Anodized Cookware: http://store.calphalon.com/calphalon-commercial-hard-anodized-13-pc-cookware-set/334878 My Mom bought these when I was a kid and they’re still going strong. I loved cooking on them growing up and cannot wait until I can convince myself to buy them and luxuriate in them forever.

  • KC

    One thing I would say on china is that if you go for a non-special edition sort from a Big Name, you will be more likely to be able to get replacements or additions on down the line (the “oh, wait, we *do* want a gravy bowl!” moment in five years when you’re hosting something random).

  • KC

    I am not WASP-class at all (what shoes do you wear with navy???). But
    silver-wise, one of my big priorities is how it feels, since a lot of
    current fancy silverware is designed to look pretty but isn’t fun to eat
    with and feels terrible in your hands (lumpy in uncomfortable places,
    etc.) or is a challenge to store, so if you can physically get your
    hands on your top silverware choices, do it. (I’m also a big proponent
    of brushed stainless steel finish instead of silver, due to durability,
    cost, and you-don’t-have-to-polish-the-stupid-stuff-EVER, but that’s a
    taste issue.)

    • Kelly

      Seriously, those navy pants are still sitting unworn in my closet.

    • lola

      aqua shoes. or yellow one :)

  • Keeley

    I really didn’t want to register, and my husband really REALLY didn’t want to. So when people asked we just said we didn’t register, and thankfully no one made a big deal over it. We figured we would be ok with no gifts, but most people gave us money. Some gave us homemade gifts or random household items, which was great too! Some of the best things we bought with our wedding money:

    -a new mattress (Sealy)

    -a bed frame (vintage: we love vintage which of course is hard to register for)

    -a cool wingback chair (also vintage).

    -bedding from West Elm (maybe my favorite purchase, their organic cotton sheets are really soft and don’t wrinkle much in the laundry), http://www.westelm.com/products/organic-harmony-sheet-set-b1024

    -a new couch (IKEA Kivik, super comfy, seems sturdy so far and not the end of the world if our dogs ruin it)

    -new set of knives (fairly inexpensive Cuisinart ones, but I like them a lot)

    We saved the rest of the money for when we move to a bigger house!

  • Lucy

    Registering was really really tough for me, for all the reasons that people in the comments suggest. However ultimately I loved the “barnraising” APW argument and I also had many of my parents’ friends expecting to give us gifts off of a registry. Plus we had just come through two years of long-distance and one year of unemployment so our kitchen could definitely use an update. We were adamantly against a honeymoon registry for a few reasons and so are mostly going traditional kitchen.

    The best advice I have gotten is to not be afraid to edge into higher price points if it means you will end up with things that a) will last you your whole life and b) will always give you a memory of the person when you use them. Personally, a 10 dollar whisk will not last more than a few years and I don’t think I’ll think of the gifter! Another good piece of advice I’ve heard is to not confine yourself to your current living situation when thinking about what you will use. You will age, move, maybe even have a house with appropriate storage, and your taste might even migrate from super informal to a bit more so. Keep that in mind when you are registering because the hope is that this only happens once!

    We also added some “fun” gifts that we think our friends (as opposed to our parents’ friends) might really enjoy getting us, camping gear and a record player come to mind.

  • KC

    Also, I love our Dyson vacuum cleaner. No bags. No sneezing while vacuuming. They look really gimmicky, but… yeah. I love it. Which one is best for a specific person would depend on their space/layout (we have the canister kind, which works way better for us, since we can then also use it to hit cobwebs or dust anywhere), but I’ve heard good things about all of them.

    • Laurel

      I’m obsessed with my Dyson. We didn’t get it from anyone, but we used wedding money and bought it anyway. It’s probably the best gift I’ve ever given myself.

  • Sarah

    I’d like to be the first (I think) to advocate for Fiestaware dishes. They’re not fine china, so I’m not helping the cause for Rachel. But, in terms of everyday dining – they’re awesome. Macy’s has fantastic sales on it, too. I registered for (and received!) 6 different colors, so if things break, I can mix and match right back in. For those of you who would be on color overload, you can just pick one! Or I saw some once pick 4 white, 4 turquoise and 4 navy plates to create a set of 12, and it was beautiful. Plus, I also liked that with the deals that Macy’s runs, people could stretch their dollar a little further, if they chose to do so. (This is how I try to operate on registries…and everything else.) This Christmas I picked up a few more serving pieces by putting them on the Christmas list to the fam, and I believe (I hope!) they took advantage of the HUGE sale that was going on. Anyhow – I don’t recommend Fiesta ware just for the sales. It’s timeless, not so expensive that I’ll be heartbroken if anything happen to a piece, and it passed my husband’s test for “solid feeling” dishes. Not affiliated with either Fiestaware or Macy’s – just very happy with both!

    • LE

      I am also on the fiestaware bandwagon. My fiance has a collection of different colors that he got as hand-me-downs from his family members over the years, so all we will be doing is supplementing what he already has with a few more pieces on our registry. Also, they are made in the US, if that is something that gets you going.

      • Kara

        I totally agree! I asked for the black fiestaware sets back when I was in college for Xmas, birthdays, etc. Often, my parents or family members would find older fiestaware pieces in garage sales so I’d add to my collection for a few $$.

        PS. My grandmother still has the traditional fiestaware pitcher in a lovely 1950′s green :).

    • Amy M.

      So glad you said this! I registered for Fiestaware (also at Macy’s) and I’m glad to hear it gets good reviews :-)

    • Anna Lindsey

      Second the Fiestaware! Inexpensive, easily replaceable and oven/dishwasher safe.

      • Sarah

        I LOVE that it is oven safe, too. More handy than you’d think.

    • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

      I ADORE the idea of mixing colors in place settings!

      • Sarah

        Amy, it is SO fun to see the table set! Makes me smile every time, which is ridiculous.

        • JGL (now)

          I just posted above – I have the same reaction. It literally makes me happy to see the bright colors in my cupboard. Not ridiculous!

          • Sarah

            Glad to hear someone else with the same reaction!

        • Ashley

          Me too! I did twelve settings of all different colors- received some doubles, kept them! I mix the salad plates with the bowls, big plates etc and the different color combos are like a fun dr suess party every time. Though i have been wanting to add twelve plain white bowls as i think the contrast will be *classy* :) They are really fun and look fantastic two years later!

          • Sarah

            Oooo – the white bowls are a good idea. Never thought of that.

    • Lindsey d.

      We are registered at Macys too and I keep wanting to tell people to wait until everything goes on sale! They run sales all the time for SO MUCH less than retail price.

    • http://readingandthensome.blogspot.com/ Martha Smith

      I wanted Fiestaware so badly, but my husband absolutely hates it. So we ended up registering for Noritake Stoneware (available at Macy’s & BBB) and I love it. It’s just as sturdy as Fiestaware, but it has white insides and turquoise outsides. The mugs are better than Fiestaware (IMO) and I much prefer the plate size. My sister has Fiestaware, and though she loves it, she often laments that the mug which comes with the “5-piece place setting” has a terribly impractical handle. Which I agree is kind of silly because they make a better one, why not include that one??

      • http://www.devabydefinition.com/ Deva C.

        A friend of mine registered for the Noritake in Blue and my husband and I loved it so much we almost registered for it as well – it’s really great china!

      • Manda

        Just wanted to chime in and second the Noritake colorwave collection! Our place settings are mustard, turquoise, and chocolate (4 of each). I love the way they go together. Added bonus: I used to hate doing the dishes, but now I don’t mind it so much. It’s hard to be irritated when handling the colorful, happy plates and bowls.

    • Amanda

      I’m currently registered for a mix of turquoise and ivory Fiestaware pieces. I love the idea of adding navy! If I ever need more pieces I may go with that.

      • Sarah

        Amanda, it was soooooo pretty!

    • Emily P.

      We registered for Fiestaware when we got married in 2009 (plum, shamrock and white) and almost 5 years later it’s still going strong. We didn’t get all of it for our wedding but thanks to those awesome Macy’s sales, our collection has slowly but surely been completed. In all that time and all those dishes (we have the 5 piece place settings + lunch plates + mugs + chili bowls for 8-12 people) we have only broken one plate which is pretty amazing to me. I’ve broken a lot of other things in that time. All that to say, I highly support the above comments about Fiesta and Macy’s.

    • ElisabethJoanne

      I didn’t inherit silver, but I did inherit most of a set of fine china. What I didn’t have were “everyday dishes.” Fiestaware was a compromise, and I like it.

      We registered open-stock because I didn’t like the shape of the soup bowls that come in the place settings. I don’t know if my shower guests didn’t understand or tried to save money, but I mostly got place settings instead of open-stock. I returned them and managed to complete that portion of our registry.

      On Macy’s sales: Over the 2 years I stalked our registry, prices on all sorts of things would quadruple and drop 75%. I now know to basically never pay more than 50% of the regular price at Macy’s. Completing the Fiestaware I paid 60-75% off regular prices, when they put in a completion discount.

    • Kestrel

      Another great option for everyday dishes that last FOREVER is corelle. My fiance and I are just registering for the plan old white, but they’ve got some nice designs. They’re not nearly as festive or colorful as Fiestaware, but I have dropped so many in my life, and the only time they broke was when I was 7 and dropped an entire stack of cereal bowls (at least 8) and only two broke.

      They’re also good if you’re having a bit of guilt with finding things that are in the lower price range (most of our friends are recently graduated, so they don’t have tons of money)

      • ZS

        We love corelle! We didn’t register for it because we are still using grandma’s!

    • Michelle

      FYI Kohl’s also carries Fiestaware too. Kohl’s always has great sales and discounts. We registered for our Fiestaware at both Kohl’s and Macy’s and just monitored every once in awhile to adjust numbers as needed.

    • JGL (now)

      I will join the Fiesta love! It has been around forever, you’re expected to mix slightly different styles and colors, but it all “goes” together, and it’s super fun!! Personally, china isn’t my thing – I wouldn’t enjoy it because I’d be afraid of breaking it, no dishwasher = no-go, and where the heck would I put it? For me, Fiesta solved that. The dishes are substantial and pretty and useful and have a no-chip warranty, dishwasher and microwave safe.
      I will admit that post-wedding and finally unpacking gift boxes and getting it in the cupboard, for about a month I would just open my cabinet and stare at the pretty stacks of colored dishes. We did 4 each of 4 colors, and it just makes me smile to see it. We also hosted thanksgiving with it, and I thought it looked plenty fancy.

    • avhh

      We registered for beautiful Lenox Chirp dishes, and the handsome husband promptly broke a plate or two, thereby sending me spiraling/crying into a heap of disappointed new wife/WASP sadness.
      Fiesta ware saved my psyche. And his! I love it, love it, love it, and use it every day without fear of it breaking. It costs so little to replace and it’s so so cute.
      Do I still love my chirp? Yes. But I will continue to use my Fiesta Ware all the live long day.

      • Sarah

        Love it. My husband nixed lighter weight, more expensive china while looking at plates (that had a green trim, which I thought he would love – it’s his fav color) at Crate and Barrel because of the fear of said plate breaking. So off we went to look at the Fiestaware. Glad to hear that the paranoia was real. :)

  • Kiki

    The best thing I’ve done since getting engaged was use the Amazon
    Universal Wishlist add-on / bookmarklet for my home and work computers
    plus my ipad. I have been using this for gift ideas for myself and for
    others for a couple years, which helps when you see something for your
    friend or family member but their bday is months away. So, I started
    adding stuff to a wedding list since we’ve been engage, over a year now
    with the wedding in August 2014. It has made it less stressful to just
    add here and there when I think of something we could use or something
    fun while doing other online shopping. You can also add things you think
    of like “coffeemaker” but don’t know what kind and can research it
    later from reviews, or see what toppp.com has to say. It has been super
    easy and we’ve kept it private until we’re ready to reveal to everyone.

    Another
    note of advice from my friend who got married last year is to keep it
    public. They set their Amazon to private (people have to have the link
    or go to their wedsite) but their Macy’s list was public and everyone
    complained that there were no presents left despite the Amazon list
    being full. Hope that helps alleviates some stress, it’s helped me!

    P.S.
    My fiancé bought me a kitchenaid mixer display model from crate and
    barrel reduced by $150 right after we got engaged and it has been
    amazing, I have always wanted one and am an avid baker and cook… so
    asking for most of the attachments in the registry. My fiancé asked for
    the meat grinder for his bday and loves it, gets him cooking more too!

  • Jess

    I laughed at Meg’s WASP silver/china lesson (Now even true for working class WASP families! I’m proof!). I already inherited my great-grandmother’s silver and (one of?!) my grandmother’s china sets. They sit in a closet because none of my local friends are awesome enough for fancy dinner parties yet.

    • ElisabethJoanne

      I inherited my great-grandmother’s china. It was missing some pieces. We registered at replacements.com to fill out service for 12. Replacements.com worked great.

  • Lauren

    We are primarily doing a honeyfund, but have a small registry on Amazon for those that still want to buy us something. We have some things on there that we need (better cookware, Lodge Dutch Oven, nice knife, mechanic’s set, electric kettle, laser printer, 2-person sleeping bag, etc.) but recently we realized one key thing that we could add to our list: BOARD GAMES! We love board/card games, but want more 2-player games (recently moved to a small town and don’t have many board game-loving friends here). Wedding registry to the rescue!

    • Lindsey d.

      Board games are my favorite thing to buy off registries. I scoop them up when I see them.

      • JGL (now)

        We bought our friends a Cards Against Humanity set for their wedding in November, and it was one of my favorite gifts I’ve ever bought! We’ve all played it together already.

    • Kayjayoh

      I also have added board games to our registry: mostly cooperative games and things we already like to play.

  • Emily Layman Perkins

    We registered through target and amazon (you can add stuff to the amazon list from any other website). My two favorite gifts were the Staub Dutch oven my dad’s three sisters got me for my shower and the giant box of super fluffy towels my brother’s girlfriend gave us for the wedding (they’re the Thomas Obrien towels from target so not super spendy but oh so fluffy and luxurious still after almost three years). Other stuff I highly recommend:
    - vita mix (had mine for seven years now and can’t live without it)
    - kitchen aid mixer
    - All-clad brand pots
    - Wusthof knives (some people prefer Japanese style but I like these best)
    - Staub or le creuset cast iron skillet (caramelized onions have never been so good)
    - Greenpan Eco nonstick skillet for eggs

    • alpelican

      I prefer Staub to Le Creuset, too.

  • enfp

    Hands down my fave kitchen item is our le creuset dutch oven. My partner’s mom got him one ages ago. Since we moved in together I’ve loved cooking with it. It’s amazing.

    That said, I would so love to see a post or open thread on APW about NOT registering. I totally get the barn raising argument, and all the valid reasons people choose to register, but it just doesn’t feel right for me. Seems like most discussion on APW is geared towards registering (even if there is some acknowledgement that it’s not right for everybody). I’m facing family pressure to register and am worried guests will interpret it as us wanting cash (which is not the case). I’d love love love to hear from others who haven’t registered!

    • alpelican

      Our wedding is in March and we have not (so far) registered, and I don’t imagine we will. Even though I would love to upgrade some pans and plates, and get my boyfriend a kickass Star Wars lego set, a registry just feels gross to us. We’re grown people with salaries who live together, and our guest list is over 60% out of town (airplane range), so I’ve been trying to let people know that showing up is all we could ever want.

      • Laura C

        I’m registering because I know that as a wedding guest, I want there to be a registry. If I’m going to give something, which I almost always am, I want to know I won’t be giving something the couple already has three of, or wouldn’t want for other reasons. It’s great to let people know you don’t expect or need anything, but a lot of people are going to want to give you something anyway.

        • alpelican

          I get that argument, but it isn’t enough to overcome the weird feelings about registering, for us anyway.

          • J. Driver

            Maybe some of your guests already know your deep longing for the Star Wars lego set and will get one for you anyway! And then I will be most jealous of you!

        • J. Driver

          Yep, this was our reason for registering as well. We posted a note on our website along the lines of “the best gift you could give us is your presence, but if you would like to help us build our new home, etc etc.” I attended a wedding that did not have a registry and asked for no gift, and while it wasn’t a total issue getting them something, it would have been nice to have some guidance.

          • anon

            I have an honest question about this…what if the couple really doesn’t want ‘stuff’. I am constantly battling to get rid of ‘stuff’ (for lack of a better term, I don’t mean ‘stuff’ in a bad way, just as a catch all term). When I get married it will likely mean a hotel room at least for all the guests and a plane ticket for many guests. In addition I have been lucky to acquire top quality pots and pans, a kitchenaid mixer, super high quality knives, etc. I don’t need anything AND as it is I want us to have less stuff not more. How should I handle this? I don’t want to insult people who want to help us build our home, but our home is already ‘built’ on the stuff front, and I really just want people to be there. Not with gifts. (Also, as 2 adults with good paying jobs, we do not need or want money either, just smiling faces to celebrate with us.)

          • MisterEHolmes

            Suggest something else. I think the “experiences” registry is really cool (but only available in NYC, I think?), but you could just ask for, say “date night” kits? I don’t know; I suspect there is no good solution.

          • J. Driver

            I personally don’t see the problem with saying “no gifts.” It’s totally up to the couple. You may just have to handle questions from people whose natural inclination/”love language” if you will is to give gifts as a way to celebrate you and may still end up getting you something anyways. A friend said “no gifts” at her wedding, but I felt strange showing up to an awesome party empty handed, so I got her and her hubby a gift card to their favorite restaurant for “date night.” I knew they didn’t need stuff, but who doesn’t love a good date??

    • KC

      I suspect that a predominant “feeling” on APW is guilt about registering even when registering is what makes the most sense for the couple, so the predominant message is “don’t feel guilty about registering!” At least, that’s my guess as to what’s going on?

      We registered when we got married, but were in a super-classic “should register” situation (moving in together from cheap roommate households where each roommates contributed some of the shared home basics [so, neither my husband nor I personally owned any regular-sized bowls, or a lasagna pan, or cookie sheets, or non-plastic drinking glasses, I think, along with *many* other gaps]; plus lots of generational, established friends who really really really wanted to build us a home).

      I’ve never felt that a couple who didn’t register was demanding cash (esp. if there was a “no gifts, please” or “what’s important to us is your presence, not your presents” statement on the invite, but even without).

      • anon

        I’ve never felt that anyone registering or not-registering was being greedy or demanding. I will, say, however, that this thread makes me jealous since I (single, mid-30s) would really like some matching, non-hand-me-down dishes and a decent vacuum cleaner (neither of which is really birthday-present level gifting, at least among my friends and family, and neither of which I can currently afford).

        • KC

          We bought our own vacuum due to allergies, but it was definitely a sucker-punch to the wallet. But it is one of those that-was-really-worth-it buys.

          Matching-dishes-wise, I have friends who have picked up sets of china in thrift stores; it’s not the same as going and picking out Your Pattern from All the Patterns Available, but sometimes you luck out with finding something you really, really like with a bunch of place-settings for $30. (at the thrift stores near where I am, the sets of china are often in poorly-labeled boxes under the shelves with dishes and knick-knacks on them, so you open the box to see what the china is, but I don’t know how universal that practice is) Depending on your tolerance for vintage, estate sales may also be potential sources.

          There’s also the possibility of saving up a smidgen (depending on what your budget is, $60 is a save-for-a-year or a buy-it-now, so your mileage may vary) and getting something that can be used either for everyday or semi-formal at Target or similar (i.e. http://www.target.com/p/threshold-153-16-piece-round-beaded-dinnerware-set-white/-/A-14172073), just to have finally-matching dishes. (our normal dishes are Target; yes, they come with mugs instead of teacups, but whatever. They match. They hold food. We don’t cry if people drop them. It works well.)

          (and socially, I wish we had “congratulations, you’re now living in your own place!” gift registries instead of strictly wedding registries. Social conventions around when you move away from your family/communal-living have changed, but gift-giving occasions haven’t, and that hits both the people-who-already-have-everything-but-are-getting-married and the people-who-are-now-living-on-their-own-but-don’t-have-the-stuff. But that’s not super likely to change soon.)

          • EF

            Ah! We have a china set found in a charity shop (thrift store) for £25! It was missing a couple of pieces, but we didn’t care, it’s wonderful and beautiful and now we have great dishes without stressing about what to register for. I really support the ‘keep your eyes open in unexpected places’ idea, because there are great finds out there.

          • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

            Most of my Le Creusets have come from thrift stores. :)

          • anon

            Yeah, I think I need to budget for some household improvements. A good vacuum does seem like a worthy investment since my current one, leftover from a roommate some years ago, is not the most effective machine out there. As for dishes, I have enough that match-ish from family members. I just don’t like them. But they hold food and I definitely don’t care if they break. So there’s that. I’m tempted to start a registry just because (36th birthday? Why not?) and see what people do. A social experiment at the very least.

          • Regina

            Exactly! to the living in your own place registry. I know it’s a pipe dream, though. :) I’m 35 and my husband is 40 and we had two households worth of stuff already and definitely didn’t need more. One of the absurdities of registering, to me, was the ridiculous notion that now, at the point in my life where I’m financially stable, can afford to buy myself what I need, NOW you want to get me stuff to help “build my life?” I needed that stuff 12 years ago when I was waitressing, struggling to pay the bills.

            I definitely appreciated that people wanted to get us gifts and was blown away by the generosity of our community. Having said that, I did notice that people only like to get certain kinds of stuff off your registry. Cookware, yes! Mattress pad, no. So I just ended up registering for more of that kind of stuff. Can’t fight city hall.

        • Chiara M

          Does anyone have any vacuum suggestions? I’d really like to register for one, but am not too sure about them.

          • Jennie

            For the love of everything that is good, get a Dyson. I got mine on Overstock.com refurbished so it was less expensive than a new one. BEST. PURCHASE. EVER. Seriously, I have two long haired cats and a dog and it is amazing (I got the one for people with pets or allergies, but they have all sorts of models).

          • Kate V

            Agreed and agreed.

          • Magoo

            We also got our Dyson on Amazon.com sale and paid for it with points! We’re getting married in May and I cannot imagine putting cleaning or decorative items on our list.

          • Ashley

            We wanted a Dyson but just couldnt justify the cost. However, we bought a Shark never lose suction or something at Target and it is super super awesome but was only (after sales) like 150.

          • Jenny

            Dyson Ball. Seriously. It’s cleaning your house changing. Maybe not life changing, but it certainly makes me go, oooo, yay time to vacuum, which might be the only thing cleaning wise I don’t despise.

            I bought this model refurbished on Amazon. http://content.dyson.com/vacuums/ball/default.asp?basketTotal=0.00&basketQty=0&logged=false

          • Lucy

            Vintage Electrolux! We have one from my grandmother (she had two, and when she passed away my dad got them both repaired, one for me and one for my brother). It is the best vaccuum in existence. Especially with an 85 lb lab mix! I bet you can find one on Ebay.

          • GCDC

            I want to jump on the Dyson chain. We got this one which works wonderfully for us as we only have wood floors but one very hairy dog: http://www.amazon.com/Dyson-DC35-Digital-Slim-cordless/dp/B004GN8UYA

            Also, we used our credit card points to buy it and the day it came was like Christmas. Seriously.

          • Erica

            Yes yes yes to Dyson! It’s incredible how much junk it picks up. Frightening actually. I actually got mine at Target on crazy sale – the kind that they like only the best sale hunters to find. You know the kind I’m talking about, at the end of the aisles along the back. Good stuff people. Good stuff.

          • Ashley

            I freaking love this comment and your love for your Dyson. We love our Shark but you are really selling this my friend! Vacuum on!

        • Ally

          China brand outlets is the way to go… My china (bought when I was in high school…what can I say I inherited a love of china from my grandmother who worked in the Belks china department!) is Johnson Brothers, and a 4 place setting on clearance really was quite reasonable (but I don’t remember, because that was like 15 years ago now!) – for that matter I think it was still reasonably priced from places like Replacements Unlimited, because my grandmother later gave me another 4 place settings as a Christmas present later (because she felt like I should go ahead and have enough to set the table for 8 and not just 4)

          (Speaking of Replacements Unlimited – if anyone ends up with china you really don’t use and could use the money – they buy china and crystal and such from people (because one of their main purposes is to sell people pieces to replace broken dishes and glasses) but they’ll buy whole sets depending upon the pattern, brand, etc.

          Sometimes I get sad that I won’t get to register for china because I can’t justify it (I also inherited what china my grandmother did have, as the only grandchild), but at the same time, I like to think that (since I’ve never actually used more than 4 place settings so far, I can consider it still to be a wedding present from her, since she’s not here to see it happen.

    • RK

      I’m with you on this. Registering doesn’t feel right for us either (we just really, really don’t want or need more stuff in our tiny house, and it also just doesn’t feel right to us in general), and I’d like to hear a story from someone who didn’t do it and made it work for them. Or who tried an alternative.

      • enfp

        Yes, alternatives! There must be some, right? I’d love to have a conversation about that. Even alternatives that leave open the possibility that loved ones want to give you something for your home. I am on board with the barn raising idea, and have felt this way about giving other people wedding gifts. Surely handing guests a shopping list of pre-selected items from a big box store is not the only option?

        • Guest

          Check out the archives, there are some great threads on registries and alternatives!

        • Beth

          My personal favorite alternative is donations to charity, it helps your guest with their taxes and makes everyone feel all touchy feely. If you do this PLEASE tell the charity where they can send notices (aka your address) of donations so you can pepper thank yous into conversation.

      • ac

        We felt the same way about registering, and so we didn’t. As far as I can tell, our marriage is still valid :) A few people made commentsbefore the wedding about how we should register, but we just smiled and repeated that we didn’t want gifts, we just wanted everyone to be there. It worked out fine, with only one duplicate teapot to return.

    • YOQ

      We will not be registering. We’ve both lived independently for about half our lives. The thought of combining households makes me shudder in fear. The thought of adding more stuff to the combining of households? I can’t even. A few people are giving us gifts anyway, and I’m fine with that. (How do you say no to a friend who wants to make you a quilt?? You don’t. Or, at least, I don’t.) But we will ask people instead to share with us a photo of themselves at a joyous moment in their lives. (I want to combine these with our wedding photos in our album, as a way of remembering our community.) And we will ask them to bring drinks/food to share at the after-party, if they come to that. And we will invite them to make a donation to one of our favorite charities, if they would like to give us something. Really, we just want them there to support us and celebrate with us.

      I’m pretty sure there’s a website where you can register for charitable donations, but I don’t know what it is. Anyone?

    • Chiara M

      I know the debates rage all over the internet about Le Creuset vs. Staub, but I am hands down in favour of Staub. The inside is black so you don’t have to worry about it discolouring, I find them heavier. I’m super happy with mine. Advantage of Le Creuset as I see it: colour. Just in case you didn’t know about any other brand of dutch oven, look into Staub. http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A289818%2Cp_4%3AStaub

      The blue one is beautiful. I have a round one and an oval one, and the round one is amazing for chili, soup, stew.

      • Georgina

        An equally good alternative to Le Creuset is Chausseur. We received two beautiful round red pots for our wedding and we use them all the time. They are AMAZING! Good knives and a Microplane would also be on my essential list.

      • H

        Another member of Team Staub!!! That thing is like a rock. It’s seriously the best piece of cooking equipment I own. Except for maybe the matching teakettle that they were GIVING AWAY with the purchase of a dutch oven the week I bought it. I know.. O_O
        I went through a phase of coveting the Le Creuset colours, but lets be honest, you’ll be cooking in this thing. In the end, Staub’s design trumped my love of LC’s “lemon grass green”. I have the round, forest green one and I use it several times a week.

    • SamiSidewinder

      Though we registered (we caved to the pressure), we wrote a preface to the registres on our website that basically said, PLEASE do not feel the need to get us anything, we are doing great and we don’t NEED anything. We just want to see you lovely faces!

      Pleasingly, quite a few people took us up on it. They got us a card, or something small. Some people nothing. The older they were, however, the more likely they were to get us something. But at least it worked a little!

  • Anna Lindsey

    As far as Dutch ovens go, I’m also a fan of Le Creuset. They are expensive, but they last forever and have a great warranty. I have two sizes, one for everyday cooking, and one that I use when cooking for a larger group. Also, both of mine were purchased from Le Creuset outlet stores, which I highly recommend. You can find great deals on outgoing colors or pieces with tiny cosmetic flaws that don’t hinder the cooking ability. I also second the Shun knives. They are the best, and we use them daily. We didn’t register for a expensive knife block, just the few key knives that we knew would be kitchen workhorses.

    We registered at Crate & Barrel and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Many C&B stores do wedding registry events before the store actually opens to the public, which I highly recommend, especially if you’re an introvert like me. Local restaurants brought snacks and coffee, and we had the run of the store, along with other couples registering, without having to get in the way of shoppers. We also had access to lots of employees for any questions we had before the store opened to the public.

    On the flip side, the BBB registry experience was a nightmare for me. We were assigned a registry expert who literally followed us through the store, insisting we register for things we would never use. No matter what I said, this gal would not leave us alone, and she forced us to walk through the entire store at a snail’s pace while asking if we were sure we didn’t want to register for a second set of bathroom accessories, even though I repeatedly told her we only had one bathroom. We ended up just registering for random stuff and correcting it later online, which was a huge hassle.

    As others have mentioned, C&B also has a great registry completion discount, and they make returns and exchanges super easy. They definitely made us customers for life through the whole wedding registry experience.

    • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

      Your description of registering at BBB is pretty much our worst nightmare. Will be avoiding if we can, thanks!!

      • Anna Lindsey

        Yes, I learned after the fact that these registry experts have certain quotas to fill, so they are always pushing people to register for as many items as possible.

        • 39bride

          We didn’t do this on purpose, but we avoided the pushy salespeople by starting our registry online. Then when we went in, we just told them we already had a registry and just needed to add some things. It wasn’t intentional, but they left us alone.

      • Jennifer

        We registered at BBB and didn’t have that experience. I mean, they gave us some guides and suggested things I knew we didn’t need, but we weren’t followed around or anything. I think it might depend on the location.

    • Meigh McPants

      Ugh, pushy registry salespeople! We definitely took a bunch of stuff off the registry before we told people about it, b/c we realized later we did not need whatever ridic number of place settings the lady suggested. I really like online registries just because one can make them without consulting anyone but one’s partner.

    • Amanda

      I’d heard nightmares about BBB, but was actually pleasantly surprised when our registry person was very knowledgeable about the products and was able to give us good recommendations (particularly on cookware and knives). She also was able to add stuff that they didn’t have in the store, and didn’t try to pressure us into anything. I think it helped that we went in with a pretty detailed list of what we wanted on the registry.

  • AnnieP

    We registered for expensive, hard-to-find Norwegian china. I felt a little guilty/greedy, but I did it knowing that my mother and her friends would be excited about gifting it to us and have easy access to buying it. And you know what? We use it every. stinking. day. And love it. Also, we put a pair of expensive martini glasses on our registry just for kicks, and a random old neighbor of my parents TOTALLY bought them! We love them! Three cheers for martinis at home from fancy glasses.

    • ZOO

      Here’s to hard-to-find. We miraculously stumbled upon a Tunisian company with EXACTLY our (hard-to-please) taste. They’re thrilled we want to register with them, and are being super nice about setting up their first-ever registry. I have pangs of guilt every once in awhile because “hand-painted in Tunisia” sounds really pretentious, but they make us happy and we’re supporting some great artists.

    • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

      I would love to see your Norwegian china. Is it online somewhere?

  • Liz

    Glasslock glass “tupperware”. I love this stuff and it keeps you from freezing or microwaving your food in plastic.

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=glasslock&sprefix=glassl%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aglasslock

    You only need 1-2 good chefs knives (and they don’t need to be >$100). The key is get them sharpened every year.

    You can buy vintage silverware online (so many patterns!). Ours is from the 1940′s, we couldn’t love it more, and it wasn’t very expensive. Down side – we don’t have the storage box, but we use ours every day. Just have to silver polish a couple times a year.

    • ElisabethJoanne

      Love Glasslock. I did implode a lid in the microwave, though. (I got it off and it doesn’t look worse for wear.)

  • http://simply--a.blogspot.com/ Alison Toback

    Absolutely love our Kitchenaid (the 5 qt Artisan model) but I wish the head-tilt models came with a 6 qt bowl… my cookie and bread recipes cannot be contained in 5 qts on occasion, haha. I also aboslutely love our 14 cup Cuisinart food processor (https://www.cuisinart.com/products/food_processors/fp-14dc.html) and we just got a convection oven (http://store.calphalon.com/calphalon-electrics-xl-digital-convection-oven/335130) that I totally obsessed with. I would also like to second:

    - Riedel wine glasses
    - Calphalon Commercial Hard-Anodized 13-pc. Cookware Set
    - Le Creuset for anything cast iron (especially dutch ovens!)
    - The Calphalon Griddler (Bonus: You can pretend it’s a Batman villain… at least, my husband does)
    - Tupperware
    - Bath sheets (not towels!)

    Ken (my husband) also registered for pistachios because he thought it was hysterical and really enjoyed scanning things with the registry gun… someone bought us the pistachios! Happy registering!

    • Lindsey d.

      Someone else who was probably just as amused! I remember the first time I saw board games on someone’s registry and I HAD to buy them. Such a fun gift to give!

      • http://simply--a.blogspot.com/ Alison Toback

        My best friend and her now-husband registered for board games, too! She also had a “Gourmet Game Night” cookbook on there, so for her shower, I got her the cookbook and a couple of games. I think that would also be a great “anytime” present for someone, too!

  • Caroline

    Great timing. We need to register soon ( a billion people asking about it), and for a lot of it, I just don’t know what is an appropriate price point to ask for. But the best consumer goods, I can tell you.
    A few faves:
    These measuring cups http://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/products/all-clad-stainless-steel-measuring-cups-and-spoons/ See the thread Rachel mentioned about deciding to register for china for my rave review
    A juicer like this. I can’t find the exact one, but one this style in stainless steel https://www.lehmans.com/p-828-stainless-steel-citrus-juicer.aspx
    Really nice handmade wooden spoons are totally worth it
    My mauviel 2 mm copper pots (but SOOO expensive since the price of copper went up). I have a 2 qt saucepan and a 12in skillet.
    My 12 qt all clad stockpot
    Lodge cast iron
    My mom got us for the holidays a 65 peice stainless steel silverware set from Reed and Barton and they are really high quality, feel really nice and heavy and are well balanced. She got a hammered one and got us the Classic Bead.

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      Those measuring cups were the first things we registered for and the thing we want most!! We registered for the cups and the spoons, all the sizes (even the odd ones), and we registered for two of everything because we use measuring tools SO much in the kitchen.

      Any recs for really good wooden spoons?

      • Caroline

        I don’t know. My favorite wooden flat spatulas I bought for $25 each from an old coworker who also made wooden spatulas as a hobby. I have one of this brand, a little spatula shaped (aka it has a bend unlike the ones from my coworker which are flat) spatula and it’s really nice though. http://www.woodspoon.com/

        The key is to get wooden spoons that are really really smooth, and then oil them regularly and they will be awesome. Also, I like wooden spatulas more than spoons except my one super super deep wooden spoon which is almost a ladle, but not quite. I think it is this one: http://www.amazon.com/Mario-Batali-13-Inch-Wooden-Beechwood/dp/B000TGWYRC/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

  • janeylicious

    I’m having a really hard time with our registry. We have only 1 item under $100 on it (two if you count the $99 water kettle, more if you break up the china sets), out of maybe 30 items. This is what happens when two people that live together and impulse buy anything under that price get married. :| Super duper hoping for cash and gift cards so we can offset future needs or buy the expensive stuff off our registry.

    The two things I’m most excited for are the pro model KitchenAid mixer and the newest pet/allergy Roomba to clean up after our shed-happy cat. We also tossed in an Xbox One because we already have a PS4 and nothing compelling for xbone is out yet.

    As a restaurant co-owner and avid baker, I’m not looking forward to off-registry kitchen gifts. We conveniently omitted all glassware, since foodservice glassware tends to be far more durable and looks just as good for way cheaper, and all baking things because how do you compete with buying a dozen sheet pans for $10? But I do know that Vitamix blenders are amazing because I use them at the restaurant all the time for the small things (Blendtec is good too if you’re going for the $300+ blender range), and the KitchenAid mixers are great for home use. I’d use them at my restaurant too but they’re generally too small. I have no idea why people don’t go shopping at restaurant supply stores more often.

    And for dutch ovens: Le Creuset. My mother refuses to part with her Le Creuset dutch oven that she uses all the time. It also looks a lot nicer with wear (for oven/stove straight to table) than Lodge and Staub do, in my opinion. But no matter what you end up going with, all you have to do is take good care of it and it’ll last forever. I use Lodge for other cast iron needs because it’s cheap, and it works beautifully too.

    • Nope.

      We’re amateur chefs and bakers, so we also have a lot of restaurant-quality kitchen supplies. Do you know of any restaurant supply stores that do online registries?

      • janeylicious

        I wish, because then I’d be putting a different mixer on my registry and then quickly regretting it because it’d take up half my home kitchen :P The problem is some of them aren’t open to the public, and they’re all really designed for restaurants so I really doubt that such a thing even exists. Plus half that stuff really isn’t worth putting on a registry or isn’t great for home use.

        I think the best idea if you really want to do something like that is to pick some local/online stores open to the public and then ask for gift cards to those stores.

  • Jenna

    My favorites from my wedding registry (some that I’ve now given at x-mas gifts at least 5x now):

    Le Creuset Dutch Oven (We have the 7 qt, but it’s heavy. I’d recommend one size smaller)

    Heavy Duty Baking Pans (http://www.amazon.com/Wear-Ever-Natural-Finish-Aluminum-4×12-7/dp/B0001MS3P6/ref=pd_bxgy_k_text_y)

    Wire Rack – crispy sweet potato fries and yummy baked chicken are the best – (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000OFND8W/ref=pe_175190_21431760_M3T1_ST1_dp_1)

    Zojirushi rice cooker- use it every week

    • Jenna

      We also have some multi-ply Cuisnart pans that are wonderful and reasonably priced — as an alternative to All-Clad

      Be careful of Amazon! Only register for things you really, really love there. They a 30 day return policy for credit. If someone bought something 15 days before the wedding, and you tried to return it on day 16 after the wedding because you were on your honeymoon… tough luck. If it’s from an individual vendor, you are up to the whims of that individual vendor.

      I didn’t mind Bed Bath and Beyond. And Target was super easy.

  • Sarah Brown

    This is on my to do list for February and I’m only registering at Target because I’m lazy. My younger sister registered at bed bath and beyond as well as target, her MIL insisted people would get angry if she didn’t so she added all kinds of random/crazy things that she didn’t really want and people bought it all! She returned all the stuff to BBB only to use the gift card she got back at bye bye baby when she got pregnant so it wasn’t a total bust.

    That being said, I really really hope someone gets me the really nice griddle I’m going to put on, it’s the only thing I actually want!

  • Sam

    A nespresso!!!! Honestly it is a life saver for any coffee junkie that also loves a good latte or espresso! I highly recommend the Lattissima model: http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-193512/Nespresso+and+Delonghi+Lattissima+Plus+Silver

  • Brittany

    There’s only one physical store, which made me a bit nervous, but in addition to our BB & B registry, we registered for dishes and silverware and serving pieces at Fishs Eddy. It’s not fine china, but I’ve seriously never seen such high quality every day dishes for such a good price! I think we got almost everything we asked for off of that registry, and I love and use those dishes every day! (Also- the wine glasses! At 3.50 a piece, they should be total crap but they are about 10 times sturdier and more durable than the Crate and Barrel set I had before that was 3 times the price.)

  • Maria

    Kohl’s was a great place to register for us – not because it went super smoothly (it didn’t, though no worse than anywhere else), but because they have “Ever After Rewards,” which means that, after the wedding, we got a voucher for 10% of what our friends and family spent on us from the registry… and then we could turn around and use that voucher, plus 15% off, on anything else we still had left on the registry! It turned out to be a couple hundred dollars of a free shopping spree.

    • Sarah Brown

      Woah, I’m totally hitting up Kohls now!

  • http://weehermione.blogspot.com/ Hayley || Wee Hermione

    As far as pretty china goes, I registered for the From The Deep collection offered by Anthropologie (I know, I know, but it’s really pretty, and has held up well): http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/974116.jsp?cm_vc=SEARCH_RESULTS — I wasn’t too keen on China until I found that pattern.

    It’s funny, one of the things we use the most ended up being a griddle. I almost just typed girdle. Which would be hilarious. But no, griddle. *Griddle*

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      We got a griddle as an engagement gift a couple years ago (well, we used a gift card for it) and we use it EVERY DAY. So worth it…though reading other threads, it sounds like the Cuisinart Griddler might be even better. But basically, some form of griddle is a good idea!

  • LM

    I really love our Vitamix. That and an All-Clad soup pot were two of the things I was most excited about since we do a lot of cooking. We registered at Macy’s and Williams-Sonoma. I have to say I had mixed feelings about registering, but I enjoyed the experience way more at Macy’s (where their customer service was super-helpful) than at WS. We got some flatware, that feels really nice when you hold it, however we have since discovered that you can’t really rest it on a plate without it falling off…so…downside. Our Lenox dinnerware (made in the USA, if that is something you’re looking for) is great though!

  • Meigh McPants

    Honestly, the stuff we use most wasn’t even on our registry; some very generous friends gave us an iPad (that I can never pry from Mrs. McPants’ hands) and a Dyson vacuum that I kinda still do a happy dance every time I use, even almost three years later. (It’s the Animal one. You guys. It’s amaaaazing.) Both are things we never would have bought for ourselves, but we love so much now. So, maybe the lesson here is we shouldn’t have been afraid to add big stuff? I think everyone struggles with not wanting to seem greedy or wanting to impose on their guests, (I know we did) especially when you are kinda young and broke and your friends are too. But what I learned is that my worries were really all about me and how I thought other people would view me, and not really about our guests at all. Turns out our guests just wanted to share in our happiness and help bring some joy to our day.

    Other stuff we loved:
    -Real, grown up, matching silverware. This was really my thing, but I just wanted some nice, substantial, everyday silverware that I also didn’t feel like I needed to apologize for at dinner parties. Ours is Lennox, from Macy’s, and it pleases me to use it every day.
    -A KitchenAid mixer. You guys. I love this thing like…maybe not like a kid, but definitely a treasured nephew or something.
    - Calphalon cookware. It matches. It’s really nice to cook on. We can put it in the dishwasher. Done.

    Also, not a wedding gift, but I’ve had a Martha Stewart dutch oven for years, and it’s still going strong.

    • Amanda

      I’ve got a Martha Stewart one too! Its the smaller one though, so thinking of registering for the bigger one.

  • http://readingandthensome.blogspot.com/ Martha Smith

    We registered for a food processor and at the time I thought they were ridiculously expensive so I stupidly registered for a 4-cup. My sister called me immediately and demanded I remove it and she bought us a big one. It’s the standard Cuisinart, http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/cuisinart-dlc-8sbc-food-processor-11-cup-pro-custom?ID=786202&CategoryID=46711#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D46%26ruleId%3D31%26slotId%3Drec%285%29 and it’s AMAZING. We use it way more often than we thought (salsa, dough, sauces, etc).

  • Lisa

    WASP in the house. Parachuting in rudely without reading the 149 comments to say, buy used silver from a silver repair place. Unless you are in England, buy it from The Silver Vaults. Off now to drink gin and eat Wheat Thins.

    Popping head back around the door to say, “No silverplate. And you can put it in the dishwasher unless it’s Georgian.”

    • KC

      I do love that APW has a Resident Queen WASP. :-) So useful.

      • Lisa

        My pleasure;).

  • http://readingandthensome.blogspot.com/ Martha Smith

    OH! I forgot! We also bought an excellent set of stainless steel pans from BBB. We originally registered for a set at Macy’s and after the shower we hadn’t received them, but got a lot of money in gift cards. So we marked them “purchased” and went shopping – we ended up buying a different set from what we’d registered for and we couldn’t be happier. Normally I shy away from celebrity chef product lines, but the Emeril pans we got are awesome. A big complaint we’d read in reviews was that stainless steel didn’t heat as evenly, so when we found and Emeril set with a copper core we jumped. http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/emerilware-stainless-steel-12-piece-cookware-set-and-open-stock/204658?categoryId=10518

  • Molly

    We have gotten a lot of big stuff done but if there is one thing I’ve been procrastinating on for our May courthouse wedding & reception, it’s finishing up the registry. I don’t know why, we just haven’t sat down and finished filling it up with stuff. I definitely need to add a lot more kitchen supplies. My kitchen is barebones, and my fiance never cooks so he doesn’t have anything of his own (we do not live together). It’s going to have to be something I work on soon. Especially if we have a shower in March (at this point I’m’ not sure and frankly don’t care either way) it would be nice to have done.

    Regardless, this post will be a big huge help. And the comments. :)

  • WhalenWolf

    Can I take a second to post a slightly off-topic question
    here? I need some advice as to whether I should register for the home I have
    now, or the home I will have someday?

    To clarify—my fiancé and I live in a one-bedroom plus den
    apartment in DC with decent storage that I’d say is about 80% full. We’ve been
    living together for a while so we have a lot of the basics, but only have
    enough of anything to furnish a one-bedroom. In other words, I’ve got enough
    sheets and comforters for our bed, but nothing for a someday-guestroom.
    Likewise, I’d love a set of fancy dishes, but won’t have the space to do any real
    entertaining for a while.

    So, is it silly to register for stuff I won’t be able to use
    for a long time? Or should I jump at the chance to let people buy me fancy
    gifts I won’t ever have another reason to ask for?

    • Marcela

      I use my fancy dishes every damn day. Threw out the old, chipped, mismatched set and now every meal (even grilled cheese) feels fancy. The tricky is to make sure your fancy dishes can still go in the dishwasher and microwave. Thank you Vera Wang!

      • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

        Good for you for enjoying your fancy dishes all the time! :) I am trying to do more of that approach to life…

    • KC

      I would say to think about when “someday” is likely to be, where you anticipate being financially at that point (aka, will you have enough money to just flat-out *buy* it when you get there?), and what sorts of things are worth moving from small apartment to small apartment. The answer is going to be different for everyone, but I’d personally say that things with a small storage footprint vs. cost (silverware?) are going to be a better option than things with a large storage footprint vs. cost (towels?), and things you can use now would definitely get priority over things you can’t. Knowing a bit about how frequently your tastes change is also helpful.

      One potentially-nutty option would be to register for everything you will want, return it, write down what it “is” on the gift cards, and then re-buy it when you have storage space or your new place. (keeping an eye out for gift card expirations, and being aware that some things will not be available in exactly the same colors/patterns after a while)

    • http://thevanillabride.blogspot.com/ Sonarisa

      I think we’re registering for both. I mean, we live in a small apartment and aren’t planning on moving for a few years (hopefully to a house to raise a family in! I still can’t believe we’re planning a family….). So a lot of what we are registering for is upgrading things that we have (ie. a nice pots/pan set instead of our two mismatched pans and scuffed pot, some new sheets, a new bedspread instead of the one he took to college, etc) as well as getting things that we’ll use in the future (good silverware for when we host holidays, dishes that accommodate 8 instead of our mismatched set) and some that will work for both (a food processor that I’ll be using daily, but will be large enough for me to make soup for our family!). I think that as long as you have a reason behind something, you can put it on the registry. Besides, if one of your guests doesn’t want to buy you guest room sheets, they’ll just get something else :)

    • Jenny

      One thing we considered was space. We didn’t register for fancy dishes because we don’t have a place to store them, and probably have 2 more moves, maybe 3 before we are in a semi permanent/permanent house. The idea of having to store them and move them wasn’t enough to make me want to register for that stuff. But there was stuff that we did register for that we wanted that was bigger and not really our home now, a really nice vase, some nice serving dishes- because I did want some lasting things from the wedding that I could look at and pass down as being from our wedding. So I suppose it depends on your out look.

  • Kelly

    We registered on Amazon, BBB, and honeyfund. I am SO curious to see if my family can handle online shopping, considering that they are flying to the wedding, or if they will buy gifts that fit in luggage.

    We ended up registering for some traditional kitchen gadgets and bedding, but also included a few camping items and a surprising amount of large power tools. I will love woodworking projects and the pretty resulting furniture! I’m also curious if anyone will go that direction or stick with traditional gifts, thinking tools are “just for him.” (Although do you think he will use that cake decorating kit? No.)

    • Marcela

      We registered for all sorts of tools and did not receive a single one. I mentioned this rather forlornly to my father the last time I visited my parents and Lo and Behold, he sneakily went out and bought me some of the things I was sad about not getting.
      My suggestion would be to find someone (or someones) who you know are also into tools and tell them about the woodworking projects you look forward to after the wedding. I wish we had taken advantage of the comment feature on Amazon’s registry a bit better so do this sort of thing.

    • Allieoop

      We also registered for a long list of tools because we were in the process of buying a house and knew we would use them. We already lived together as renters and didn’t need much in the way of housewares, so this would have been perfect. But, I only received 1 of them at my shower–it was a drill, and we use it ALL the time. My guess is that this was related to shower attendees either A) not being interested in picking out tools or B) thinking the tools were “just for him,” like noted above (hint: they weren’t). My suggestion would be to try to spread the word that you do really want whatever unusual things you register for, either through family, bridesmaids, or BFFs–whoever you think guests might go to with registry questions.

  • Faith

    We registered at Macys but then found a ton of great (and really reasonable) stuff at Crate and Barrel and did a second registry there. We are using myregistry.com because then there’s just one website for people to go to (and you can add items from any other website if you have a piece here and there you want to add – I added a few random kitchen things from my fave lovely kitchen store here in NYC, Whisk). One thing I’ll say about the Macys registry, like Crate and Barrel, they give you a 10% completion discount after the wedding BUT in addition you also earn points. So whenever anyone buys you anything off your registry you get 5% of the purchase in an account. And whenever you buy anything at Macys (rehearsal dinner dress, Christmas presents, whatever) you get 10% put in that account. So after your wedding you get a gift card with all of this accumulated on it, PLUS your 10% discount, so you can buy anything you didn’t get, or just decided you want. This was a big selling point for me – also the website is super easy to use to change things as we think of them.

    I will second (third? fourth?) everyone who loves their KitchenAid mixer. I’ve been waiting a long time for this baby and it has not disappointed. My parents-in-law-to-be gave it to us shortly after we got engaged and I’ve already used it numerous times. Pro tip: in addition to baking, mixing, etc, it’s also excellent for shredding meat if you’re making pulled pork or something – no more standing there shredding it with two forks until your arms fall off. 2 minutes in the KitchenAid and you’re done. Presto. I am also totally in love with my Cuisinart food processor. I’m no help when it comes to china patterns as I have my grandmother’s china, so we didn’t register for any.

    I’m most excited about the glassware (wine glasses, to replace mine from Ikea, and rocks glasses) we picked out. And our honeymoon registry. Clearly I have no objection to the whole registering thing. Surprisingly, the fiance was also really into it and had a lot of fun with the scanner gun (maybe a bit too much so).

    • macrain

      Woah, had no idea about Macy’s. That is awesome!

      • Lindsey d.

        Downside to the Macys thing is that you need a Macys credit card to enroll. We are registered at Macys, but I haven’t decided if the reward will be worth opening an account.

        • Kathleen

          We opened the card, but never ended up putting anything on it, and I think I’m glad, as I later had the broker who was running my credit before we signed a lease mention that he had seen more credit reports negatively impacted by Macy’s cards than by anything else – he seemed to think there were recurring issues on the Macy’s end of it.

          Just one guy’s random anecdote, but I’ve been wary of Macy’s cards ever since.

          • Lindsey d.

            Welp, thanks for cementing my decision to continue my stance against store cards… I appreciate it!

    • http://cuvikingadventures.blogspot.ca/ Jenny/Adventures Along the Way

      I inherited a KitchenAid mixer after my grandparents passed away….and I use it all the time.

  • Emily

    Early on, we made a rule for our registry: We could only add things to it if we could imagine writing the thank you note for it. It made it really easy to separate the things stores or other people will tell you are must-haves from things you actually, really would love to have and plan to use. And it made it easier to write the dang notes because we’d already determined why we were so glad to get the thing!

    • KC

      That’s ingenious!

  • Nope.

    I have two registry-related questions, and I’ll be eternally grateful if anyone answers either!
    1) Does anyone have any suggestions for clear, nesting mixing bowls that are relatively light-weight AND can be heated (i.e. over a pot of boiling water if I don’t want to get a double boiler?)
    2) Does anyone know of a restaurant supply store that does registries?

  • 39bride

    What we registered for and loved the most was high-quality bedding. We went with Charter Club 500ct for sheets, and Hotel Collection for the duvet. We ended up with another brand of sheets that was a bit cheaper as well. Every week that we changed the sheets and got to use the Charter Club set (alternating weeks), we celebrated. Seriously.

    Sheets: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/charter-club-bedding-damask-solid-500-thread-count-sheet-sets?ID=343295&CategoryID=9915&LinkType=#fn=BRAND%3DCharter%20Club%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D17%26ruleId%3D27%26slotId%3D16

    Duvet Cover: http://www1.macys.com/shop/bed-bath/duvet-covers?id=25045&edge=hybrid&cm_sp=us_hdr-_-bed-%26-bath-bedding-basics-sheets-_-25045_Duvet-Covers#!fn=BRAND%3DHotel%2520Collection%26sortBy%3DORIGINAL%26productsPerPage%3D40&!qvp=iqvp

  • Jennifer

    While our registry had more traditionally items (Disclaimer, I am a Food Studies major, so kitchen appliances make me happy), we also registered on Amazon for some organization items AND my favorite things: family board games. Apples to Apples, Cards Against Humanities, Catch Phrase, etc. And people bought them! I love my friends/family.

  • clairekfromtheuk

    Seconding (thirty seconding??) the votes for Le Creuset, they’re expensive but totally worth it.

    Also, I don’t know if you have them in the states but I have a Kenwood Chef mixer/food processor and it’s the bomb. You can get a zillion attachments and it’s super sturdy.

  • Katherine

    I know that Rachel’s question was mostly about the best stuff that people register for. My husband & I found thinking about the registry extremely stressful (probably the worst fight(s) we’ve ever had). One way to reduce the stress — because I pretty much refused to let wedding planning be anymore stressful that it absolutely had to be — was to just not care too much about what was on the registry. There were a few things that I really wanted (e.g., a Kitchen Aid mixer), and I asked around about recommendations. Other things, I just registered for whatever Crate & Barrel had and didn’t try to second guess anything.

    I got married 6 months ago, and last night, I noticed that a frying pan was already starting to lose its non-stick coating. At first I was annoyed that I’d chosen something so low quality, and my wedding presents weren’t going to last forever. Then I realized two things: 1) I can afford to buy a replacement when needed. 2) The coating was probably wearing off because my husband doesn’t understand “special rules” for things (like don’t use abrasive sponges on the non-stick pots). And the fact that my husband pretty much refuses to let me wash the dishes means that I’m still coming out ahead. :)

    Also, my favorite wedding gift has been my Cuisinart Immersion Blender. LOVE.

    • Lindsey d.

      My fiance is just the opposite with non-stick. I get the stink eye if I even go near the non-stick with a fork or metal tongs.

    • Laura C

      Oh, YES, the Cuisinart immersion blender is amazing. My FMIL gave us one a year or so ago and it’s great for making pureed soups, but also it has a whisk attachment and a chopper attachment. You get so much use out of the different attachments, and it doesn’t take up much space.

  • Tracy

    Le Creuset is the only way to go with the dutch ovens. I had to buy one of my own because my mother refused to part with hers after 30 years. But I plan on registering for a set of different sizes, in some fantastic color.

  • MariB

    Ok so this is my first time posting after stalking for many many months (I love ALL of you!). So I’m gonna jump on the bandwagon and say I LOVE our Fiestaware and our KitchenAid. Both ended up being better buys at Kohl’s because of coupons and Kohl’s Cash than anywhere else even though we were registered at Dillards. However, hands down the best things we got off the registry were the semi-expensive Caphalon Spatulas/Spoons/Ladels/etc. I often forget and leave them in the pan while I’m cooking and I am happy to report I have yet to melt one. Seriously worth the extra $.

    • Jenny

      YES! I love Fiestaware. We registered for white dishes and then a rainbow of serving dishes in many colors. My mom thought (thinks) it’s weird, but I love how it looks. AND it’s hard to break.

      Also, I love my KitchenAid. My husband got it for me for Christmas because it wasn’t a wedding gift and I LOVE it! That and my Cuisinart food processor are things that I can’t beleive I went 30 years without! That said, I think the KitchenAid is best used if you a. bake a lot of things and frequently, or b. if you make your own bread. Most other things can really be made with a hand held mixer (which takes up less counter space).

      • Caitlin_DD

        That sounds like an awesome Fiestaware setup. My mom is all about ALL the colors, so our dinner rule is no two alike colors next to each other. We often fight for our favorite colors (in good fun of course!)

    • Remy

      We registered for red Fiestaware (a long bread dish, a big serving bowl and a medium-big one, and 3 concentric-sized oval platters) because red went with the most holidays! :)

  • Lori

    I didn’t want china. MIL insisted on china. I picked a bone white china. She complained. Then I registered for this: http://na.wwrd.com/ae/us/patterns-a-e/chinoiserie/icat/ww_chinoiserie/. It’s dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and it is understood that this expensive dishware is not just for Christmas and Easter. I can’t stand to have $40 to $50 dinner plates sitting on a shelf for 51 weeks out of the year. It’s used on a weekly basis. I don’t think my MIL likes it (she kept on trying to get me to go for some other thing) and I know for a fact my mom hates it. But the print makes me happy, and they have to eat off of it, like it or not.

    • Amanda

      This cracks me up. Glad you get to use china that you love all the time!

    • Anna

      Buhhhhhhhh… (phonetic rendering of my jaw dropping). That pattern is gorgeous.

  • Lizzie C.

    We mostly did a honeymoon registry, but Registry360 was a life-saver for all the “stuff” we wanted that was spread out among many sites. You can add anything you find online to your registry and I found it pretty easy to use. It made me giggle to mix traditional items with outdoor gear from REI and quirky finds from ThinkGeek.

  • Katelyn

    Okay everyone be honest, how much did you fight with your betrothed about dinnerware?? I need validation that our argument that lasted several months (including one choice being discontinued) was TOTALLY NORMAL!

    • IRMcK

      Totally normal. We fought more about silverware than anything else in our wedding. (Confession: I love most everything we registered for, but I still hate the silverware).

      • Maggie

        It’s SO great to hear this is normal. We fought for hours over china and both felt so ridiculous afterwards. The jury is still out on whether or not it’s going on the registry. Le sigh.

    • Marcela

      Picking our china was an intense battles the likes of which I never want to admit to friends and family.

    • Amie Melnychuk

      It took us months to decide on a china pattern. I have vintage eclectic tastes, he is very modern and clean.

  • Lauren H

    Our experience with registering is similar to others, but my two cents is:
    Register for things you WANT TO USE often. Our bests were our Kitchen Aid Mixer, hiking poles, new grill, and camping chairs. We use these things a lot!
    If you drink, have a quick one before going into the store. It calms the nerves and makes running around the store more fun! Especially if your significant other is not a fan of shopping!!

  • Lori

    I tried to post before, but it didn’t happen. So here we go again.

    I didn’t want china either. MIL talked me into it (“You simply must!”), so I registered for a plain bone white china, very inexpensive. She threw a fit. So then I went for gusto. http://na.wwrd.com/ae/us/patterns-a-e/chinoiserie/icat/ww_chinoiserie/
    It’s dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and completely non-traditional. I love them and use them every week, much to my MIL AND my mother’s chagrin. They hate it. I love to make them eat off of it.

    • Jenny

      Oooooh! That is lovely. It almost makes me long for some china!

    • http://rationalcreature.com/ Amy

      You are getting a huge high five from me, lady.

  • Angela

    We are not registing for physical gifts, a lot of family is flying in from out of town. However, if people are compelled to gift or throw money at us, is it tacky to ask for a honeymoon? The wedding will be a big enough expense, but we’d really like to get away for a few days after the whole shebang. Thoughts?

    • Laura C

      Opinions are going to vary. Some people still think a registry is tacky because you shouldn’t ask for anything, ever, but registries are pretty much standard today. Myself, I love honeymoon registries and always give to the honeymoon if people have registered for that. Since it’s basically a prettied-up way of asking for cash for the honeymoon, there are definitely people who see it as less ok. But whatever! If people want to give you something and a honeymoon is what you want, might as well let them know. FWIW, I do like that on honeymoon registries, even though really you’re just getting the money, you can identify it as being for specific things: Pay for a night of our hotel, buy us pina coladas at the beach bar, send us on a hot air balloon ride, etc.

      • Angela

        Great idea! I love that my family could know they were buying us a cold one after a day hike. Looking into it now~

      • Jenny

        I agree, it varies by crowd. But I love giving and getting experiences, so I LOVE honeymoon registries, especially if you sort of break it down so I feel like I can give you a nice dinner, or massage at the spa or something. I find it a more fun way to give cash, which is my preferred gift for 90% of the weddings I attend.

      • Amie Melnychuk

        Two of my cousins had honeymoon registries, I loved it, and wanted to do it for ours. Mom and MIL nixed it. The cousins found that only the other cousins and younger (20-30) guests bought things off the honeymoon registry.

    • TeaforTwo

      I think it’s a know-your-crowd situation. Personally I’m not wild about honeymoon registries, but I was also very old-school insistent that our registry information only be spread by word of mouth, not on our website, etc. and generally found the whole thing to be an uncomfortable business.

      I will say this: if you don’t register, people will give you money. And when they do, then it makes perfect sense to spend it on a honeymoon, and to write a thank you note to them that says you put the money toward getting away for a few days and are so grateful.

      As to whether it’s “tacky”: ask your mama, or a trusted aunt or older woman friend. She’ll know the crowd at your particular wedding and have a better idea of what they’ll think about it.

      • Angela

        Thank you, calling my mama now. ;)

      • channamasala

        I second this – I don’t care if someone else has a honeymoon registry but I wouldn’t have one (then again I also eschewed a regular registry because we live abroad and really don’t need stuff – we don’t want “nice” stuff either, who knows if/when we’ll move back or to another country and we don’t want to cart a lot of stuff that’s actually worth something with us).

        If you don’t register, especially if you have an East Coast (and especially-especially New York) family, you’ll probably just get lots of cash anyway. We got a few gift cards, a few cards/no gifts (that was fine too), a few charity donations, a few small gifts, but mostly we got money. Which is great, because it’s really better to give expat newlyweds money. It’s transportable in a way that stuff, or gift cards, are not.

        Someday I would really like to see a post on NOT registering – at all, for anything – why that’s OK (and it IS OK…yes, it is) and how to do it. (How to do it: Step 1 – don’t register. Step 2 – spread the word however you like that you are not registered. Whether that’s under a link on a wedding website or via friends and family spreading the word. Step 3 – when people complain, have a canned reply. Do not apologize. Step 4 – have your wedding).

        • Claire

          Yes, I’d love to see that post! I caved into the pressure and put together a half assed registry. I am truly grateful for the generous gifts we received, but I do wish we had stuck to our guns and just not registered.
          This is one area that still needs some shame-blasting.

  • ElisabethJoanne

    Replacements.com to finish out my great-grandmother’s china set.

    Sur la Table for kitchen gadgets we actually use – brownie spatula, prep cups, pancake turners

    http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-707661/OXO+Red+Brownie+Spatula

    http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-654012/Smiley-Face+Flex+Turner

    http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-379818/OXO+Good+Grips+Flexible+Turners

    Macy’s for almost everything else – notably Le Crueset and All Clad cookware – and a Dirt Devil

    http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/dirt-devil-bd10165-vacuum-gator-cordless-handheld?ID=478775&CategoryID=23481#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D6%26kws%3Ddirt%20devil%26slotId%3D1

    http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/all-clad-stainless-steel-11-covered-french-skillet?ID=570988&CategoryID=7557#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D109%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D36

    http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/le-creuset-enameled-steel-covered-stockpots?ID=511119&CategoryID=52331&brandIndex=1

    After 13 months of marriage, we have concluded that we can’t live together in the place I’ve lived for 5 years and host guests, so while I entertained a lot before marriage, I’ve done precisely 0 since getting married, and really miss it. This means a lot of things I expected to use by now, I haven’t yet. (We plan to move this summer and begin entertaining in November.)

    Some registry experiences: 2 older adults cleaned out the replacements.com registry, despite our having some pricey things at Macy’s and Sur la Table (remembering Meg’s advice about “established” guests wanting to give expensive gifts).

    Some people were surprised I/we actually cooked most of our meals ["Don't millenials just eat out all the time?"], and had shied away from the cookware because they kind of thought it was just for show.

    I don’t know what strategy our guests took in shopping at Macy’s, but we did a lot of returning individual pans to get sets at lower per-piece prices, etc. We ended up with about $600 in Macy’s returns, and I don’t think our guests could ever figure it out, even if we were hosting them regularly. Since we were fairly poor for our first year of marriage, knowing we could buy a new suit, or a new set of sheets, or new dinner plates if something got stained or broken eased the burden tremendously.

  • Sarah E

    My query is how to build an eco-friendly or conscientious consumer registry. Like Rachel mentioned, I’m a fan of going for quality items that will last forever, but for some items, I’m perfectly okay with second hand or generic. How do you denote that? I’d even be happy to get things that are languishing in family members’ closets, if it matches an item I need. My partner and I are nowhere near discussing this yet, and I haven’t read all the comments yet (which I will after work). Thanks for any ideas or insight you can share :-)

    • Chiara M

      This is part of the reason I want to do a google doc registry, but I’m not sure how to frame it. I feel the exact same way. All of our plates right now are mismatched and from thrift/antique stores. All of our cast iron skillets are pre-loved. As is most of the furniture in our house. And there are things I’d like to upgrade through the registry, but I want to be eco/consumer conscientious about it too.

      • Jenny

        I believe you both might like so kind registry, which allows you to just list things from all over, and request used or thrifted items.

        • Remy

          I was just about to mention So Kind. It’s a bunch of free text fields, and you can choose to add a picture or a link to a specific product, and say that you’d be fine with — or prefer — secondhand or hand-me-down items, or ask for help with wedding events, or gifts of time or experiences. Anything you can think of!

      • Marcela

        Amazon allows you to add gift ideas, some you can say you want green serving dishes and let your people source it however which way they want.

    • http://www.thehousealwayswinsblog.com/ Rachel Wilkerson

      We’re doing a registry where you can add things from all over the Web…we added stuff from Etsy and used the comments section to explain that we don’t need that exact thing, but we love vintage X, Y, and Z and it’s often sold in antique stores and here’s just one example of it. I bet you could do the same for whatever things you’d like secondhand!

  • Chiara M

    Has anyone foregone the store registry and just done a google doc. That’s what I’m leaning towards so people can try to find things at different stores/online for cheap/someplace near them, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to work.

    • Jenny

      That might work, though I think places like alternative registry allow you to do something similar, but are set up in a more registry style. AKA people can indicate how many they are giving and they they are giving it. You can also request that things be used.

      • Chiara M

        Brilliant! That’s exactly what I wanted. I’ve just started it and it’s so easy. Much better than trying to make a google doc look pretty.

    • caro

      Amazon registries allow people to mark things as purchased even if it is not through Amazon.

  • gingerbeer

    We’re having it both ways: We’re mainly doing a charity registry with the I Do Foundation (idofoundation.org), which lets you choose your charities and non-profits, which we did over several weeks using Charity Navigator (http://www.charitynavigator.org/), which evaluates non-profits on financial transparency and % of donations spent on actual programs. That was important to me, as once I donated $25 to St Judes and they have easily spent more on mailings and little free gifts trying to get me to donate more. We chose four local and domestic small charities and human services shelters, and we were careful not to make “political” choices, because we didn’t want our families’ different politics to sour them on the idea of helping those in need. BUT: we recognize that there are beloved people in our lives who really, really want to give us something, so we created a MYRegistry with only ten items, all of them “sentimental” so they’ll make the givers feel good. No to towels, yes to Christmas-tree skirt. No to tupperware, yes to a beautiful serving bowl. The goal with that was to give the gift of “giving a gift” to the dedicated givers (but not end up with a bunch of porcelain clocks).

  • Bee

    2 things which have drastically improved my life:

    1) a set of stainless steel pots and pans with aluminum and/or copper core on the bottom. They last forever, look beautiful and don’t put nasty chemicals in your food. We have Cuisinart, which are wonderful and a fraction of the price of All Clad. (On the other hand, All Clad is made in the US, so if you have rich relatives and want to support domestic manufacturing jobs, go for it!)

    2) a big set of glass tupperware/food storage containers. Because you really should never ever be putting hot food into contact with plastic! (especially if there may be babies on the horizon!) We have the round Pyrex containers with plastic lids, which have been great, but if I were doing it again I would probably get the ones with locking glass lids – I’d feel less nervous about the lids popping off in transit.

    • MC

      GLASS TUPPERWARE. My future sister-in-law bought us a bunch of Pyrex tupperware when we moved in together last year, and they consistently make me so happy. I haaaaate cleaning plastic tupperware (no dishwasher here) and the glass are so easy to clean. I am seriously in love with my glass tupperware.

    • M.

      We are registered for a TON of the Kinetic Go Green Glasslock containers (see above issue with plastic) and I am so excited to possibly get some as gifts. We have 3 now that we always, always use, and it’s not enough!

      • S. Peterbot

        Yes! Me too. We had lots of duplicate gifts, so we were able to exchange them and switch almost entirely to the Glasslocks. I also like that the glass ones CAN go in a dishwasher, if you have one, without coming out covered in a soapy film.

  • moonlitfractal

    The Waring Pro Professional Double Waffle Maker!!

  • KerryMarie

    My fiance and I wanted to do a “traditional” registry (with…y’know…stuff) as well as a honeymoon registry. We were both pretty emphatic, however, that our guests shouldn’t be charged a transaction fee when gifting us money (we’d prefer that the fee is deducted from our eventual total). After searching high and low and an online registry that would do both, we opted for two separate registries: My Registry and Honeyfund. Both are easy to use and aesthetically pleasing, and so far we have no complaints!

    As far as the STUFF we’ve put on the registry… very simple white dishes from Crate and Barrel (the Aspen line), flatware (who knew that shit is so expensive?!), towels, camping gear, wine glasses, an ice cream maker Kitchen Aid attachment, board games, a compact carry-on suitcase from REI, and a roomba! We found that much of our registry (aside from the roomba and flatware) was in the under $100 range. I’m assuming this will be ok for most of our guests…?

    I also found Thewirecutter.com and Thesweethome.com very helpful for their in-depth reviews of “the best” product in a given category.

    • Faith

      We also chose My Registry and Honeyfund (we actually did registries at Macys and Crate and Barrel so we could get the completion bonuses, etc but linked everything to our My Registry page so it would be easy for people to access everything at once) and ditto on the honeymoon registry – we didn’t want anyone to have to pay fees. Everyone has told us so far how easy it was to use. Glad you’ve had good experiences as well. I want a roomba, but the fiance keeps telling me it’s totally unnecessary (he’s not wrong, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still want it) :)

  • Amy

    We’re registering for the noritake stoneware collection but here’s the dilemma – right now we’ve registered for these sets at both BBB and Macys. Macys has the sets priced at $80 but they are regularly on sale for $40. BBB always has them for $40. Do we register at both and let people comparison shop or just trust that our guests are adults and will make choices?

    Also thanks for the shout outs to All Clad and Le Creuset…feeling much less guilt about registering for these items now :)

    • SeahorseGalaxy

      I could be missing something, but if it’s always the cheaper price at BBB (plus the 20% off coupons) – why not just register for them all in the same place?

  • Alexandra

    We registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, and by the time the wedding was over we hated that place. After ten years of renting furnished studio apartments as a single girl, I’d never had to buy any housewares at all. Registering at BBB seemed like a great way to go–hey, we NEEDED that stuff! And a FEW things from the BBB registry are really nice to have, and I’m thankful for them. Our Noritake dining ware comes to mind. HOWEVER after quite a bit of shopping for things I’d never shopped for before, we came to realize that TJ Maxx actually has way better deals on that kind of stuff. We returned a lot of things and used the gift cards on Christmas for family and friends.

    Dutch oven is hands down our favorite buy. We bought one for $50 on sale from Costco with a check from hubby’s grandma. Cash is really the best gift, as much as I hate to say it. Have a registry with a CASH return policy.

    • Lindsey d.

      The TJ Maxx factor is the hardest part of registering for me. It’s tough to reconcile putting full price items on the registry when I know I can pay so much less at TJ Maxx. It may not all match, but I’m not really worried about a full matching set of pots and pans.

      • Kathleen

        Agreed! If only TJ Maxx had a registry (or, you know, consistent inventory) – I would have been thrilled to put things on our registry for half the price of BBB. Now that we’re expecting a baby, I’m encountering a similar phenomenon. Can we justify asking family or friends to pay full price for, say, a baby carrier from Babies R Us when I’m sure I could get a used one for half price through our neighborhood list serv?

  • lady brett

    we did not register, mostly because i had strong complicated feelings about it, but we do have some great housewares. we mostly have great housewares because we are not capable of using things we can’t see, and i refuse to have ugly crap on our open shelves. but there are a few points of note:

    i should start with my favorite useless item, which was also a wedding gift (via gift card, so we picked it ourselves): a sodastream. it is fucking awesome. seriously – i am considering taking *an appliance* on vacation with us, it’s so cool. (fair warning, the sodastream brand flavor mixers are *all* diet, even the non-diet ones – they are something like 50/50, so if you’re picky like me, they still taste like diet soda. but it’s great mixed with fruit juice or whiskey =)

    and, dutch ovens are awesome, and pretty much all the same. we have a le creuset and a…um, whatever was $50 at the store, and i’m sure i couldn’t tell you the difference.

    my other favorite kitchen find is my bodum 17-oz electric tea kettle. i’m not the biggest fan of bodum’s modern style, but it’s such a reasonable size, which is almost impossible to find in an electric kettle. i use it every morning for my coffee, and it fits on my bedside table (because: coffee in bed!)

  • Aubry

    We are doing an on-line honeymoon registry, cause that is really what we need. However, our registry (wedistry.com) just closed it’s doors – so sad! They were the only ones I actually liked the layout of (so many hours of searching…). If anyone is doing the same and has a website they like, could you send them my way?

    • Libby

      I joined Zola registry recently and I really like it so far! It’s new, but I’ve had great customer service when I’ve asked questions, layout is very clean and easy to use, you can add gifts from anywhere and can also do honeymoon or cash gifts. The only fees is the usual 2.7% charge when guests use a credit card. I also did hours of searching and didn’t like many sites, hope this helps!

      • Libby

        Ps it looks like “coming soon” you will hopefully be able to cover the cost for that 2.7% that guests are charged if that’s important to you.

      • Aubry

        Thanks Libby! I like zola. It still had the set amounts for specific things that people buy into set up (not something I love) but it looks much nicer than most online registries do! I loved wedistry because you contributed to something, but the amount you chose to give was left open. Zola is a top contender now, and I really need to get on it. As people have said below, everyone wants to know where I’m registered!

        • Libby

          Ugh yessss I actually emailed them about this and the use of the word “needs” for the cash gift sections. I don’t NEED any specific amount of cash towards my honeymoon. I told them it made me really uncomfortable and if they could consider making some other options that would be wonderful! Hopefully they will listen to us sometime in the future :) The woman encouraged me to set cash gifts as a group gift so that you didn’t have to specify how many and people could contribute what they wanted, but that still leaves you with an awkward crowdfunding look that says “needs $1,000″ when you click into it.

    • Kat91314

      I honestly like Wanderable. They’re a little more expensive, but the layouts are nice, and pretty customizable. Their customer service has been good so far as well.

    • Faith

      We’re using honeyfund – I went back and forth between all the different sites for months before we picked this one. I liked that we could pay the fees for credit card transactions rather than having our guests do so and that we could both use their suggestions and custom create our own listings (in this case, reading for the plane, cigar shopping for the hubby, etc). It was really easy to set up, very customizable, and the people who have already used it to give us gifts say it was very easy for them to use. So I call that a win. (Wanderable looked good as well and I was really torn between the two).

  • Remy

    I snorted at Meg’s comment about WASPs and silver. I inherited mine — service for 6, plus a bunch of extra pieces — from my grandmother, whose major hobby was thrifting silver pieces from garage sales (she was just a touch too soon for eBay). I picked my pattern when I was 12 or so, and therefore it is predictably floral. But it sits in a Tupperware storage container, ’cause when do I use good silver??

    • GCDC

      Not at all related, and I did not inherit silver, but my husband inherited a chest with a hidden compartment for you to hide your silver.

      So if you need a storage place for your silver, just let me know.

    • Marcela

      We inherited silver at Christmas this year and like you I have no idea when it will get used. We already had bought a decent set of dinnerware for everyday and a gussied up version for fancy so now I’m just staring at the silver sitting in a corner of the closet.

    • Kayjayoh

      The summer before I got engaged, my grandmother died. A few months later, after we had gotten engaged, my fiance’s grandmother died. My dad has offered me my grandmother’s silver and his parents have offered him hers. For now, we are going to accept both sets (and not say anything about the other set to either parents, to avoid awkwardness). I have a feeling we will, at some point, pass one of the two along to siblings when the time is right.

      I feel blessed and sad at the same time. I wish they were able to see us married.

  • Rachel

    I am so glad this for this open thread. I love registries and I love buying gifts for my dearest friends!! I personally couldn’t wait to register when we were engaged. our rule was to only register for stuff we would actually use and I can say that three years later we use all of it! My favorite items: le creuset Dutch oven, that thing lasts forever, kitchenaid mixer, and the pasta attachments for the kitchenaid. it makes for a very fun date night making pasta together and is a nice gift to bring a sick friend. homemade pasta with tomato sauce heals everything. then again so does ice cream! this thread rocks.

  • Caitlin_DD

    Can someone explain what the point of china even is? Maybe it’s because I don’t come from a family of entertainers, but we just used our Fiestaware for everything. In fact, I’m not even sure if my mom *has* a set of china. Full disclosure, though, after seeing the Wedgewood below, I’m having fun picturing THAT as my everyday dinnerware.

    • Caroline

      In my family, we pull out the china for holidays and dinner parties. It makes the dinner fancier. I’m planning to register for simple china for everyday (it’s beautiful! And surprisingly very sturdy. I’ve read that a grown adult can stand on a china teacup no problem), even though I will inherit the nice china. That I will save for holidays and birthdays and dinner parties, and we’ll use the regular china everyday.

      • Caitlin_DD

        I like this plan. My only worry would have been sturdiness (along with dishwasher/microwave safe) but I see that’s not a problem.

        • Marcela

          When we registered at BBB, the assistant lady whacked a china plate on the edge of a countertop to demonstrate how sturdy it was. After we got over our shock at what she had done, Alex and I were firmly in the china camp. We just made sure we got some that didn’t have metal on it so it could go into the dishwasher/microwave.
          It helps that we inherited a beautiful set of antique dinner plates from his grandmother so we pull those out for fancy occasions.

          • Caitlin_DD

            I think I would’ve jumped out of my skin! At BBB too, wow. (I was trying to picture someone doing that at Dillard’s) I forgot that it’s the metal. Such a shame, I love sets with that subtle gold or silver edging.

  • Aubry

    I just remembered to pipe up about my favorite bake wear – pampered chef stonewear. I’m not sure if it even possible to register for, but oh my is it amazing. You pretty much cannot burn things. I baked batches of cookies once on my stonewear and my nice cookie sheet – same temp and same time – and every cookie off the stonewear was perfect and every one off the other sheet was partially burnt. Magic I say.

  • Caitlin_DD

    Also, Rachel, that tea set is GORGEOUS. Do you have any idea where it came from (location/maker)?

  • Saartjie

    As someone who loves to GIVE presents, my tip would be to populate your registry with items that are meaningful and cool to give in ALL price ranges. I find it really boring to be the person who gifts 4 plates out of a dinner set, when I’d prefer to give a gorgeous bespoke salad bowl (for example). The people who are attending your wedding love (one or both of) you and presents are an opportunity to demonstrate that love. If it’s boring for them then there is no soul to the gift-giving experience.

    • Caroline

      I totally understand that. I also hope my friends don’t agree. I have a bunch of stunning serving dishes and multiple gorgeous salad bowls. What I don’t have and really really want most, off the registry we will make, are plates. We have mismatched cracking plates that you have to be careful how you handle them so they don’t snap in half. I would love love love for people to get us the beautiful matching china that we plan I register for. It may be boring to you, but man would it make me happy. That said, I get it. Until I was engaged and thinking about our registry, I no way would have given two plates or something, since that seemed boring.

  • tashamoes

    We’re registering at Crate and Barrel and Home Outfitters, with a little Amazon wishlist on the side for some things we’ve both been eyeing forever, like this blanket (which I am most excited about, along with dishes that match – just the normal Crate and Barrel ones but I’m already so happy to think of all the great dinner conversations that will happen around those plates!):
    https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/102383518/ikat-bedding-in-queen-size?ref=shop_home_active

    Other happy thing – board games, a Bose speaker for our living room, hooks to put our guitars and ukeleles on the wall, and a Chemex coffee pour-over flask.

    I inherited silverware from one grandmother, and a well-loved Dutch oven that likely came on the boat when she emigrated from Holland in the 1950′s (making it a truly Dutch oven). Guess what gets used every day? The Dutch oven. I have no idea what brand it is, but sadly the enamel is really chipping off now and it will have to be retired (maybe as a planter outside!) and we’re getting Le Creuset instead. Just one piece – don’t need a whole set.

  • Louise

    So, I moved to India 6 months ago, almost a year after getting married and finally getting the kitchen of my dreams. The only thing from our registry we brought with us was our two Global knives. They are the best thing we got. Good knives make a huge difference. I truly miss our cuisinart food processor, but my husband can almost make a purée with those knives. Ok, maybe not. But salsa is a breeze.

    I am looking forward to returning to my storage unit of Fiestaware someday, though. Love that stuff.

    Long story short: best kitchen splurge is really good knives. And a cuisinart.

    • S. Peterbot

      I second the Global knives. They seem to fit so much better in my hand than the various German brands I’ve had over the years.

  • NB

    I believe the words “This is incredibly useless” actually passed my lips when my Person insisted on registering for Williams Sonoma’s jalapeno corer and roaster (Here: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/jalapeno-pepper-corer/?cm_src=AutoRel, and here, respectively: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/jalapeno-pepper-roaster-non-slip/?cm_src=AutoRel ).

    GUYS. I am eating my words. My delicious, cheesy, spicy words. We use these bad boys several times a week in the summertime and they are totally worth the storage space. Small add-ons, but maybe the best thing we registered for. Including the Kitchenaid. Also, microfleece sheets for us cold-weather folks. They are made of magic and snuggly sunbeams.

  • Amie Melnychuk

    Also, Etsy registry is amazing. I had a lot of friends buy us wonderful things from there. We even registered for seeds for our vegetable garden!

    • Crayfish Kate

      This sounds amazing.

  • klk55

    I have a slightly off-this-specific-topic, but generally on-topic question…my fiancé and I are in our late 30s and it is a first wedding for both of us. We definitely don’t need to build a kitchen and currently have his and hers silverware because neither one of us will give up our set. We were planning not to register because honestly we don’t need (or care about) the gifts. We have gotten SO MUCH PUSHBACK. We were told to register because we are going to get gifts anyway (like it or not) so we may as well choose them. Doesn’t it seem a bit disingenuous to register but still say please no gifts; your presence is our gift? We have been batting around ideas for a potential compromise: register for a very limited number of things but only divulge where we are registered if pestered about it. Anyone else deal with this and have a good solution?

    • YOQ

      We’re dealing with this right now, too. Thus far, the solution we are planning is to ask people to give us a photograph of them at a joyous moment in their lives, and if they want to give us something, to make a donation to one of our favorite charities. A commenter down the thread suggested https://www.justgive.org/registries/wedding/, which would allow you to “register” for charitable donations, which might satisfy the people who want you to register while not setting you up to receive more stuff (however well-meaning and generously intentioned).

    • Rachael

      This sounds similar to our situation as well. We didn’t register. It was definitely one of those wedding-related things that everyone told me I MUST do. And yet somehow I had a wedding without doing it. We were asked A LOT where we were registered, to which we answered that we weren’t. And then we would be asked what we wanted. And we answered, truthfully, nothing. We also already had everything we needed (including our side-by-side knife blocks because neither of us want to give our set) and didn’t have anything we wanted.

      We got the same argument you are getting, that people will give you gifts anyway, might as well get what you want. It didn’t really turn out that way. And really, there are always going to be people who give you what they want to give you, not what you register for anyway. We mostly received money. We did receive some gifts, and almost all of them were absolutely great, wonderful pieces (art, beautiful serving bowls) that I would have never ever picked out but that I really love. And really, it kind of means more to me to think that that person had picked out something for me – they are forever entwined with that gift. I really don’t know if I would feel that way if someone bought me something off of a registry, if it holds the same weight when it’s something you’ve essentially told people to buy for you.

  • Zoe

    The Lodge Dutch oven lasts forever but costs significant all less than le creuset. And they are amazing!

    • Crayfish Kate

      Seconding the Lodge cast iron dutch oven. It will last longer than you. They also have enameled ones too, if that’s more your style. FH has amassed a nice set of cast iron cookware, & that’s all he uses these days. Highly recommend.
      http://www.lodgemfg.com/

    • NB

      Yes! They are magical, and can tolerate all kinds of abuse. My parents actually have theirs, still—it was gifted to them before they were married and made some amazing soups and roasts all of my childhood.

      We have the unenameled one, which is hard on glass electric cooktops. I can’t speak to the durability of the enameled, but it seems promising (though Le Creuset is so, so, pretty).

  • Rachel

    We registered for very few things because we had already lived together for a few years and we have a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, so there wouldn’t be any place to keep everything. However, we registered for Comfort Revolution cool hydraluxe gel and foam pillows and I have to say they are life-changing!

  • Isabella

    As usual, perfect timing from APW. We are going to a “Sip & Scan” event at a department store tonight. The idea sort of repulses/terrifies me, but Meg’s chapter about barn raising really did convince me on the idea of a registry. And I figure if the store is going to give me free wine while I register why not. And my mom is insisting on buying us china, so I figure we should at least choose it so we have a pattern that I know we will like. The comments on this thread will be SO helpful as we get started on this!

  • Peekayla

    We are having a hard time with the registry, not for the gift part, but for the “what we really need/want are extremely expensive” part. We’ve lived together 4+ years and we both had our own apartments before we moved in together, so we don’t need pots and pans, sheets, blankets, etc.

    What we need are big ticket items: washer, dryer, and stove. And I would NEVER expect someone (or even multiple someones to chip in for) the 1k+ washer and dryer set that I’m drooling over at Sears. And, the few things I’ve mentioned to my mom that I put on the registry she told me no one was going to buy me (curtains) or poohpoohed because they weren’t typical wedding registry stuff (coleman stove and large cooler) ::sigh:: We camp and we need a new cooler, it makes sense to me!

    We registered at Sears and BBB because we want the outdoor stuff of Sears. But, it has like 11 items on it and 2 of them we got for Christmas, so I’m going to try to convince him to ditch Sears and go with Amazon. That way we can register for the board games that we LOVE and will continually buy more of!

    I love the idea of having a honeymoon registry, but we aren’t taking ours until almost 9 months after our wedding and I just can’t plan a vacation a year ahead like that (6 months is more my speed).

    • Caroline

      If I were a guest at your wedding, I would love to buy you guys a cooler or a
      Coleman stove. Those are great gifts!

  • http://deird1.dreamwidth.org Deird

    KitchenAid mixers. They’re fantastic.

    You can do anything from beating eggs to making bagel dough in them. And you can put the ingredients in, turn it on, and go away and do other things. You don’t have to stand there mixing ingredients for hours, because the mixer is guaranteed to hit every part of the bowl.

    I use mine for pavlovas, cakes, and mousse, and it’s always awesome.

    • S. Peterbot

      Seriously. I’ve had mine since 1996 and it’s still going strong!

  • Kayjayoh

    Chiming in late for another recommendation for sokindregistry.org, which has been easy to use and doesn’t tie us to a particular store or type of gift,

    • Caroline

      Yup, I’ve been setting ours up and loving the sokind registry.

  • caro

    Late to the party, but I want to shout from the rooftops how much we loved registering with AMAZON!! Like seriously, the best. We really like to spend some time researching things before we commit to them, and doing the whole registry online just worked with our personalities better.

    - you can link to non-amazon websites (so I could register for a couple of things from Anthropologie, and him from REI)
    - you or guests can mark items as purchased, EVEN IF the item wasn’t purchased through Amazon
    - the site stays active for a long time – so family referred to it later for Christmas and birthday gifts

    • http://www.smittenchickens.com/ Sarah Hoppes

      We loved using the amazon registry, because you can use it for EVERYTHING -amazon, other non- amazon sales sites, and charities!

  • Kayjayoh

    Things we have that are low price range include general requests for tea (with indications of what we drink), good spices, board games, art made by the giver, and volunteers to help set up/take down.

  • SeahorseGalaxy

    My soon-to-be MIL’s friends are generously hosting a shower for me in a couple of months and have inquired about our registry. The shower will be many states away (i.e. a long plane trip) and I’m not sure how to handle this, registry-wise. Besides the fact that I loathe the idea of opening presents in front of people (can I request that not happen?), it is ridiculously impractical for them to bring physical gifts to the shower. Is this something I should just ask the hostess about or does anyone have experience with this? I have one friend who simply accepted tons of physical items at her shower and paid to ship them to her home (so expensive! surely not what the moms want!) and I know I could just return it all, but…seems wasteful! Could they just print out a picture of what they bought or simply give a card? Thanks!

    • Liz

      My sister and I are both getting married this year and at Christmas some people started gifting off the registries. We had people wrap up pictures of what they bought us and the actual gifts were sent home so we didn’t have to ship things extra. Worked out great! (But I am definitely more practical than traditional, so maybe that’s tacky to some…)
      It’s also kind of fun because you can wrap up a printed out piece of paper in any shape box…it could be kind of funny for a shower!

    • Caroline

      In addition to Liz’s excellent suggestion, my cousin had a lingerie shower. Personally, neither my partner nor I are that into lingerie so I can’t imagine getting 15-20 pieces of underwear, but if you like lingerie, it might be fun and compact to pack!

  • Jade

    I have grown up using cast iron, I like the enameled ones but I use the lodge ones and love them. I own a kitchenaid stand mixer, but get WAY more use out of the kitchenaid immersion blender (soups and smoothies etc.).

    We are registering for some things for the house (more high quality sheets in 100% cotton or linen, juicer, cake stand…) but are most excited about the non-stuff items! We registered for annual passes to museums in our area, a knife skills class for two… Nothing costing more than about $200. We are using the amazon universal registry which has been really convenient so far.

    • Jade

      To be clear: I use the non-enameled cast iron dutch ovens. I’ve also really liked the terracotta ones but I’ve no idea what brand they are.

  • SamiSidewinder

    Imma little late to the party, but can I just say ETSY?!

    Do y’all know etsy has a registry function?! It was my favorite thing EVAR! I mean, hand made quirky (or not, that’s the beauty of etsy!) totally unique house stuff?! Yes please! Hand made pottery, artwork for your home, even furniture!

    Not as many people got us stuff off etsy as I would have liked (I had other registries for more traditional stuff that I think a lot of people were more comfortable with), but we got some totally kick ass kitchen towels, wooden engraved cutting board, and a fun Julia Child quote to hang on the wall. And now I just have a list of things I want to buy for us later!

  • Wendy G.

    My fiancee’s a total kitchen gadget junkie and my mother got us the one thing he WOULD have registered for as a Christmas present (Kitchen-Aid food processor.) We really need some good furniture, like a dining room table and a coffee table. Right now we’re just eating dinner on the couch but I really want someplace to host dinner parties. Is it weird that we registered for these things through Amazon (or that we set a price cap for these items)? We also got slipcovers for the ugly-but-comfortable couches, and some matching dishes, good towels (two sets) and good flatware. I added the Lodge 5 Quart Dutch Oven, cuz I know he’ll use it, and the handheld Dustbuster, because I know *I* will use it. Fiancee says we need more “geeky” items but aside from vintage comic throw pillows, I’m okay with the level of geek in our home.

    I’m actually wanting to do a non-registry shower. We’re board game geeks, so I’ve asked my mom to tell FMIL and the neighbor who is co-hosting that we would like good sets of Scrabble, Boggle, dominos, good playing cards with a nice case, classic monopoly, Rummikube, and some other games where we’re missing pieces or have duct-taped the playing board. We do a lot of board game parties, and no Thanksgiving is complete without one round of dominos, so I’ll actually USE these things a lot more than china or bakeware.

  • Maria

    As a guest who attended a wedding that didn’t have a registry, it really made things difficult for me as a guest. I really wanted to buy a gift but had no idea what the couple needed or wanted, and felt pressure to give money but didn’t know an amount that would seem appropriate instead. Long story short: registries are nice to guests , not greedy. I swear by my ninja chopper and blender personally.

  • Annie

    My sis-in-law got the most AMAZING towels for her wedding. Simply Vera Wang – they sell them at Kohl’s. Now, the favorite part of our visit is taking a shower. (Just kidding…sorta.)