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Lauren: Cake, It’s What’s For Dinner


And pie is what's for breakfast.

by Lauren Fitzpatrick, Writing Intern

Lauren: Cake, Its Whats For Dinner | A Practical Wedding

I came into wedding planning with very few assumptions: I’d wear a dress, probably in some shade of white. My dad would walk me down the aisle. Jared would be the groom. We would eat cake. In my head, cake was a given. What’s the point of birthdays and weddings if there is no cake?

I still think about my friend’s wedding cake in Key West back in 2007. It was key lime-flavored and I had to fight the urge to hover around the tables, eating abandoned slices as I went. On their one-year anniversary I almost asked if I could come around to help them eat the frozen top tier (a tradition I’m unsure about in practice but the cake was that good I was willing to experiment). When they got divorced she told me that they’d never managed to eat the anniversary cake and that made me sad.

But anyway. Cake. It’s what’s for dinner. When Jared and I discussed the possibility of getting married in Hawaii—the midway point between his Australia and my Indiana—the idea for a pineapple-flavored cake was born. With coconut! And light, fluffy icing! OMG. Let’s get married right now.  

“Do you think we really need a cake?” he asked. “What about a pie or something?”

I was flabbergasted. This, from a man who I have witnessed eat a piece of cake topped with ice cream topped with whipped cream, then ask for more. A pie? That was crazy talk. Am I engaged to a stranger? It was my first clue that wedding planning wasn’t going to be as seamless as I’d imagined.

We’ve since butted heads over the need for save-the-dates, with him claiming that they’re an over-the-top American invention and me insisting that they’re a common courtesy for guests at a destination wedding. We debated the merits of saving the date by way of email, text, or Facebook message. Then a white flag in the form of a save-the-date card arrived from one of his Aussie friends and Jared conceded. We ordered a stack of postcards and they arrived in the mail one painless week later.

In the early stages, when I started planning, it very quickly became overwhelming. I say “I” started planning because I had a misguided notion that as the bride, I was supposed to be the one to get the ball rolling. I took it upon myself to stress about venues, photography, and catering. In the evenings, I’d present Jared with options, debating about the outdoor venue that probably has mosquitoes and the one that doesn’t let you bring your own alcohol and the one that has everything we want but it’s more expensive—How will we ever choose?

“Hey,” Jared said. “Don’t stress. You don’t have to do all of it yourself. I’m here, too.”

That was a revelation. It shouldn’t have been, but it was. Jared and I won’t always share opinions, even when it seems obvious to one of us (coughCAKEcough) but we’re in it together. It shows me that weddings have a point beyond celebration and ceremony; they’re much bigger than a one-day event. Planning the wedding forces us to compromise and find middle ground. We learn to work out what’s important to us as individuals and how to preserve those values as a couple, a skill that will be invaluable in our marriage.

Jared and I got engaged almost two years ago in Oahu, after a stop at a North Shore bakery. We’d bought a slice of chocolate cream pie to eat in the courtyard, and it was so good we went right back in to buy a whole pie. Later that afternoon, Jared asked me to marry him. I’m not suggesting that we were both so hopped up on pie that we agreed to get married, but eating that piece of pie in the courtyard is one of the most vivid memories I have from our engagement day.

For a while after the “Do we need cake” bombshell, I second-guessed myself. Do we need cake? That pie was a top-tier dessert, and the bakery is near our venue. Plus the pie comes with bonus points for day-of-engagement meaningfulness. It sounded like a reasonable compromise, and I told Jared that I was okay with having wedding pie even though a little part of me still mourned the cake.

Until one day it hit me: Forgoing cake for pie? That’s not a compromise. Negotiating over flavor is a compromise. Having cake and pie is a compromise. But giving up on cake without talking about it is just… giving up. And that’s not what our relationship is about; that’s not what our impending marriage is about. And compromise can’t start until one of us stands up and says, “This is important to me and here’s why.”

And cake, inexplicably, is important to me. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t even have to be pineapple-flavored (though that’s a seriously good idea, right?). It might be sitting on the table alongside a couple of chocolate cream pies (in which case I will have a slice of both, please). But I would like it to be there. When I told Jared about my need for cake, he was open to the change; it was a compromise he was happy to make. Suddenly, what seemed like a roadblock was a very easy problem to solve.

Whatever cake flavor we eventually choose, freezing the top tier won’t be practical with a destination wedding. (And I still think it’s weird.) So on our one-year anniversary, maybe we’ll go out for pie instead.

Photo by Leise Jones Photography (APW Sponsor)

Lauren Fitzpatrick

Lauren graduated from Indiana University with no idea of what to do next, so she got a working holiday visa for Ireland. Over the next ten years she worked her way around the world, picking up a Master’s in travel writing and an Australian fiancé along the way. She is now based in Newcastle, Australia, and still doesn’t understand what “settling down” is supposed to mean.

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  • Erin

    Also, can I come to your wedding just for dessert? Both the cake and pie sound amazing.

  • Ana

    My wife and I just started with the fertility clinic – intake appointments, tests, mandatory counseling, buying sperm etc. I feel like the doctors and nurses and counselors look at us like we’re nuts when we keep referring back to wedding planning as the thing that makes the whole trying to conceive circus manageable, but it SO HELPFUL that we already talked about cake b/c now we’re talking about 50% of our future child’s DNA.

  • Fay

    We had both cake AND pie at our wedding. It was amazing. The guests devoured the cake; pound cake w/ fresh strawberry compote and whipped butter-cream icing. The only taste of the cake we had was when we cut the cake for pictures! The pies were made by the baker who made our wedding cake and they let us tweak the recipes slight to suit our preferences. We bought enough pies to wind up with one extra of each kind (apple strudel, southern pecan, and pumpkin with bourbon whip cream!) to take home with us.

    We couldn’t restrain ourselves long enough to wait until our one year anniversary to eat the pies, they were too yummy to let languish in the freezer for a year. So for our one year anniversary in June, I’ll pick up a small strawberry cake from Whole Foods to celebrate with on the way home from work!

    So have your cake AND pie, because girl it’s so worth it!

    • http://brokensaucer.blogspot.com/ sera

      So pretty!!!! I agree, let them eat pie AND cake!!!

      • Jules

        That really is SO pretty.

  • Kay

    I love this! I’m hoping we end up with cake and pie too. He’s a pie person and I’m a cake person. I don’t see any reason why we can’t have both (even multiples of both to give our guests delicious delicious choices) despite my friend throwing up her hands and saying that we “had to have” a big cake to cut.

    And I want that pie in my life even though I’m not a pie person. But I am a chocolate person!

  • Louise

    Just wanted to say “yes” to cake and pie! (Even though I realize its a metaphor) My husband doesn’t really like cake, so we had 6 or 7 different flavors of pie (that my mother in law made) and a few very rich chocolate cakes (that I made). I had a slice of mixed berry and chocolate cake. It was pretty great.

  • macrain

    Hi Lauren, YAY HOOSIERS (I graduated ’03). :)
    This thing you are describing with the save the dates has happened to me many times now. Instead of just being grateful that everything worked out though, I usually fly into a blind rage that he wouldn’t listen to ME when I said this was a thing, but when his friends think it’s a thing, he’s on board. I am finding that because I’m doing the lion’s share of the planning (and event planning is part of my job), I have this deep need to be deferred to in terms of decision making. I know this isn’t the best approach, but for some reason I end up feeling that way.
    As an aside, I went to a wedding in Hawaii (the bride being Canadian, the groom Kiwi) and it was one of the best experiences of my whole life. Because the guest list was so small and we spent a week there vacationing, I feel forever bonded with the people that were there, including the bride and groom who I had only met a handful of times before attending their wedding (long story). It somehow cemented them into my life, even though I rarely get to see them because of distance. They are now trying their darndest to make it to my wedding this fall. Our guest list is also fairly small but it was never a question that they would be on it.

    • Lisa

      Another Hoosier! I was SO EXCITED when I read her bio to see that Lauren was also an IU grad. (I’m class of ’11!)

      • Mezza

        I’m IU class of ’07! Hoosiers represent.

    • Alyssa M

      I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to explain to my partner “Yes, that is a thing. And people do it.” Luckily most of the time it’s been about things we don’t need/aren’t doing though. The most recent was charger plates, and I’m still not sure he believed me until he sat down in front of one at his friend’s wedding Saturday night.

      • http://karenmadrone.wordpress.com/ Karen

        I used to play in a softball league. One of the teams was sponsored by Replacements, Ltd and their team was called The Chargers. I thought that meant people who “charged” their purchases. When someone explained to me what chargers were I realized just how out of touch with the middle or upper class my childhood was. Who knew there were plates under plates just for the purpose of looking pretty? I can understand your partner not believing you, it sounded kind of crazy to me too until I saw someone use them at their house.

        • Alyssa M

          The Chargers has got to be the dumbest sports name ever…

      • macrain

        There should be a name for this phenomenon. My fiance didn’t believe me about wedding bands. He was like, you get another ring? Huh?

    • http://www.lateralmovements.com/ Lauren Fitzpatrick

      I’m ’03 too!! (sadly, I had to think about it to be sure)

      It’s so frustrating to tell your partner It’s A Thing only to have him doubt you, but in the interest of fairness, I do it to him, too. I can’t stand when he tells me something is fact and I’m supposed to accept it essentially because he said so without any further evidence. Stubbornness…sparking unnecessary arguments in relationships across the globe.

  • swarmofbees

    If you are uncomfortable with freezing a cake tier for one year, be glad your Aussie intended doesn’t follow the English rules of keeping the top tier for the christening of your first child. That could be even longer than one year! Though, the English have fruit cake, so that stuff keeps for years inside the royal icing. My parents had to use a hammer to get at the cake for my Sister’s christening.

  • Kate

    Cake for dinner is good and all but now I want cake for breakfast.

  • Alexa

    I totally support having all the desserts. (We may have had cake and pie and rice pudding. I did not regret it for a second or hear any complaints . . .) :)
    I also completely understand how hard it can be to figure out when and how to compromise, especially on things that you thought would be a given. (I was flabbergasted that my husband really, really wanted a garter toss, complete with taking it off my leg in front of everyone. *shrug*)

  • http://karenmadrone.wordpress.com/ Karen

    Wedding planning is the first project that a couple truly works at jointly. The constant negotiation that is required can be exhausting. It can also be ripe with misunderstanding and frustration right before getting to the day when we commit our lives to this other person who doesn’t understand the importance of cake! It’s interesting how we can all have different perspectives on the same words. I’m really glad that M and I have done the premarital counseling with our minister and even in conversations with our photographer we’ve realized how we had different views on the same words. We have definitely learned a lot about each other and how we operate through this process.

  • One More Poster

    I didn’t care about flowers or centerpieces, but I did mind a mighty lot about cake. I didn’t want a fancy cake or one with extremely exotic flavors or gum paste flowers; I wanted cake that *tasted* amazing. I wanted cake that had icing that stayed with you–in a good way. I wanted cake that make you want to lick the plate and look around for unclaimed pieces. My friends thought I was nuts; after all, “it’s just cake.”
    In my family, we are cake people. I learned how to make cakes at an early age, and my sister and I really enjoy trying new recipes. I would rather spend hours baking a cake than just about any other baked item (other than cinnamon rolls). My husband and I rarely get dessert out
    We tried no less than 6(!) cake vendors. And this was after we got recommendations and checked websites/FB pages. We found that the highly rated places that could anything and everything were also the most expensive. Sure they were good, but remember–we didn’t need all the “extras.” The more reasonable vendors often used mixes or their icing tasted like fluffy air.

    The woman we found handed us a sample box in a Bruster’s Ice Cream store parking lot. She offhandedly said, “I also believe in making enough so that people can have a genuine slice of cake, not a sliver.” We got the box home and knew we had our vendor. Cake that had flavor and punch, and buttercream that tasted like butter and creamy! What a concept. She didn’t balk at our 75 person wedding or request for a simple white colored cake with cornelia lace.

    If it’s important to you, then it’s important!

  • Christina McPants

    We had red velvet cake (for me) and pie (for my wife) at our wedding and IT WAS SO WORTH IT. I miss those desserts.

  • MisterEHolmes

    We’ll be having (cup)cakes, cake AND pie! Dessert is important!

    The story behind the pie, though, is that my dad hates cake, always has, and wanted Wedding Pie for his wedding, but that Was Not Done, so he didn’t get it. But now I’m getting married the day before Father’s Day, and I can do what I want, so we’re getting a pie for each of our fathers–apple and mixed berry.

    (Also: 5 flavors of cake. Chocolate-and-caramel grooms cake; white cake with raspberry for the top tier; white cake with raspberry filling (different) for some cupcakes; lemon cake; dolce de leche cake) ALL THE DESSERTS!

    • Lisa

      Oh my gosh, can I eat all of those, please?

      • MisterEHolmes

        Come on down! :D

        We can only pull that off because we’re using a friendor who is trying to start her own baking business. Her samples though…oh my gosh, literally the bomb.com. So freaking good. I’m excited for ALL THE CAKE.

        • Alyssa M

          We’re having three different cakes at our teeny tiny wedding. Red Velvet with cream cheese filling and butter cream icing, mexican chile chocolate with chocolate mousse filling and chocolate buttercream icing, and lemon with blackberry coulis filling and lemon buttercream icing… and I am demanding a slice of each PLUS at least one s’more and countless roasted marshmallows.

          They may have to roll me away from my reception.

          Also, you said “literally the bomb.com” and that made my day.

          • MisterEHolmes

            Oooh those flavors sound so good! Someone mop up this puddle of drool….

          • Guest

            Literally LOL’d at that. Puddle of drool…

          • Lisa

            S’mores?!! As a former Girl Scout and avid camper, that sounds awesome.

          • Alyssa M

            :) My partner is an Eagle Scout. Our reception is at a group campground.

        • Lisa

          Cake tasting, I think, is going to be my favorite part of the wedding process. I am such a desserts/sweets person that I just want to eat ALL OF THE SUGAR.

    • Kayjayoh

      We are, too! Cake, pie, cupcakes (and pinata with candy!). It’s not so much a “people want options” as that we are having friends do the baking, and they each have different specialties.

      • MisterEHolmes

        Nothing says a party like blindly and drunkenly beating a paper animal until it spills its guts on the ground! (Lol! I love pinatas!)

    • Sara

      Ha, my dad loves pie too. He always has birthday pie. In fact, his go-to tension diffusing subject change is “I like apple pie.” and if the fighting continues “Cherry is good too”. Usually makes my brother/mother and I stop shooting daggers at each other because its so completely random.

      • Crayfish Kate

        That’s adorable. I know it’s probably not adorable in the moment, but I’m picturing a dad quietly going on about pie while the rest of the family scowls at each other.

        • Sara

          Oh he doesn’t say it quietly, he usually says it with conviction, like we were just having a conversation about pie and he’s responding to a question.

          It is adorable though, it has never failed to make us stop and laugh, which usually ends whatever meaningless bickering is going on.

    • Kara E

      My mom wanted white cake (like classic wedding white cake) for her wedding. She got yellow cake because that’s what her mom (who organized the wedding) wanted. We got white cake for her. And chocolate for my husband. I didn’t care, as long as it was cake.

      • Kara E

        Oh. And we had Kranzekake.

    • Crayfish Kate

      OMG that sounds awesome! I’m a die-hard cake fan, and all of those sound so tasty! :-D

  • Kelsey

    Mmmm. Pineapple upside down cake is both my and my dad’s favorite type of cake, and our respective mothers make it for us for our birthday every year. I vote both cake and pie, but this is coming from the person who plans on having 9 different dessert options at my wedding, to go with the waffles from brunch.

  • Hannah B

    We’re doing small cakes as centerpieces at the tables and having a friend make “our” cake(s). This way we’re combining budgets, no flowers or diy centerpieces, no one massive cake. Now, we haven’t had the hard conversation about flavors etc, but maybe I should throw some pies in there, too. Sweet things for all.

  • http://cafeaubride.blogspot.com/ Catherine

    hehe im a caker too. my fiance suggest cupcakes…which possibly, IF *we* get a small cake. she just doesn’t get sweets like i do….they are my everything. i’ve always wanted “wedding cake”. sue me. :)

  • JDrives

    I feel you on the “do we need cake bombshell” – when D suggested that because he also doesn’t like cake, I went kinda brain-numb and was like “Well, we have to have cake because, ummmm, tradition and…things. Oh wait. *APW teachings kick in* we can do whatever we damn well please! Pies for everyone!!”

    This was the decision we probably struggled with, and had to compromise on, the most. We went from a big cake, to pies, to a candy bar, to a combo of delicious bundt cakes and a candy bar to satisfy both of our sweets needs.

    • Peekayla

      We’re doing a dessert bar for 130ish guests, with 4 different cheesecakes (D’s favorite dessert), rum balls, buck eyes, mini-whoopie pies (using my Nana’s recipe), and then D and I will have a small 10″ Margarita cake for us to cut. We’re both not big cake fans, but I compromised on having a small cake to please my mother (the traditionalist) while still having the cheesecakes D and I wanted.

      • JDrives

        All kinds of yum!!

    • JSwen

      Nice! My mom totally got the “brain-numb” thing when I told her that yes, we would have cake but no, we would not be getting a “decorated” “wedding” “cake”. I think her mind melted. “People EXPECT a cake,” even came out of her mouth. Oh moms.

  • js

    I’m so confused. I read this other blog that also has all these amazing women. On the blog, she has a section for the clothes she packs when she travels to amazing foreign locales. She was wearing this crazy yellow hat and mentioned that her husband hates it. Then, I found out they’re divorced and now the hat her husband hates and the fact that they’re divorced are inexplicably linked in my head. I have this dress I bought that has Dolman sleeves, which my husband hates, but that I think feels like a baby blanket, and I never wear it. I stopped (this is SO not his fault) because I value his opinion, even on clothes, but it feels like I’ve slowly been giving up parts of myself so small I don’t even realize it sometimes. I don’t know when I started giving up things I like because my husband didn’t like them. I don’t know why I don’t just order the damn cake, y’know?

    • anon

      Relationships change you. Sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways, sometimes in great ways, sometimes in not-so-great ways. It’s hard to tell when a change is in a “small” way or when those “small” ways add up to big ones. It’s also hard to tell when those changes should be a red flag to you.

      However, because you left this comment and are questioning things, it sounds like you’re not a fan of the changes you’ve made. Being aware of them is step 1, step 2 can look like anything you want (e.g., recognizing that maybe it’s not that big of a deal, reclaiming your identity, talking to your partner about these concerns, etc, etc, etc).

      I think we can all relate to these concerns.

      • js

        I appreciate that. I should be clear, it’s not my husband that’s at fault here. Giving up things I like was something I did willingly, sometimes without ever realizing I was doing it. That’s not on him. This post could just be about cake, but it resonates with me on a deeper level right now. I find it fascinating that so many smart, passionate women think like Lauren mentioned, that compromise means giving up what you want for what your partner wants. The part about this post I like the most is deciding to maybe have cake and pie, because that’s the real compromise. It also makes me think about how hard it can be to make room in a relationship for both peoples wants, whether that looks like two big careers, kids or no kids, or two desserts at your wedding.

        • http://www.lateralmovements.com/ Lauren Fitzpatrick

          That’s what I was trying to get at. I also found myself, particularly in the beginning of the relationship, giving up things I liked (not that he asked me to do that). I think some of it is a natural desire to make your partner happy but it comes at a cost. It’s sort of scary that I ever did it at all, and now I try to be conscious of if I’m giving something up because of some misguided notion that it’ll make him happy, because it’s an actual compromise, or because I genuinely want to do it.

  • Amie Melnychuk

    On our 1 year, we are planning on buying cupcakes, or a mini cake of our wedding cake from the baker that made our awesome cake. We only got to eat the piece we fed to each other, because our guests were so ravenous for the deliciousness. We did save the first tier, but I neglected to freeze it right away. So a couple days after our wedding, we ate our top tier piece by piece.

    Freezer burnt cake never really seemed appetizing to me. I’d rather support the small bakery that blew our cake out of the water every year as long as we can, and go to the restaurant that catered our wedding, and get a yearly photo at the ice cream shop as our family grows.

    • Meg Keene

      HA. I would have dumped that ice cream all over my dress. No one would have trusted me with it.

      • Amie Melnychuk

        My mom was flipping out when I picked the pink watermelon sorbet. But the only white option was coconut, and we have a bad history together. There was a lot of spotting for drips, and leaning to not get anything on the dress. And then there was a paper napkin suit made for my 1.75 yr old niece/flowergirl who wanted the birthday cake ice cream, and she wanted to share it with me. Haha. There is a photo somewhere…

      • Alyssa M

        The idea of getting melted marshmallow on my grandmother’s dress is about 40% of the reason I got a cheap(er) reception dress. I KNOW I’ll be a sticky mess.

  • Ally

    I’m going to need the details on this pie place – I’m going to Hawaii on Thursday and choc. cream is right up there with cake for me.

    We had a three tiered cake and two layer cakes…and cake pops…for 60 people. That’s how much I love cake. We also froze the top tier but ate it on our one monthiversary. There’s no way I could’ve waited a year for that, but my excuse was the potential freezer burn/small apt. freezer.

    • http://www.lateralmovements.com/ Lauren Fitzpatrick

      Ted’s Bakery on the North Shore of Oahu! We went about four times in a week. http://www.tedsbakery.com/

      • Ally

        Thank you!!

  • BD

    Chiming in on the “freezing the top tier is weird” idea. Nothing against couples who do it, I understand the sentiment behind it, I just can’t imagine a cake would taste very good after being frozen for a year…Anyway, yes, cake. We had a cake table, with the traditional Bride’s and Groom’s cakes, my mom’s famous rum cake, and a friend’s famous cheesecake. It was way too much cake and way too much awesome.

    • BD

      Blah, html fail.

  • emilyg25

    One of the best things about baking my own wedding cake is that I can just bake a fresh tier for our anniversary! Ours was blackberry lime.

  • Sharon Gorbacz

    We simply have to have cake because his dad loves cake – I mean LOVES to the point where he’d go out and buy a small birthday cake just for himself.
    We went pretty simple, vanilla cake with lemon filling. He’s a big fan of vanilla, and, I could eat an entire can of lemon filling all by myself if it wouldn’t send me into a diabetic coma.

  • Fiona

    The crazy thing about wedding planning is that not only is it a huge party, but EVERYTHING is difficult to decide because it’s all a metaphor for your relationship and how feminist, laid back, elegant, fun, quirky you are as a couple, and the list goes on. I find it quite annoying actually, and I rebel against it by making decisions on the spur of the moment and running with them (which sometimes I regret…what am I going to do with the 200 foam China Trading Company airplanes in the garage???).

    In terms of cake, I’m allergic to everything under the sun, so we are only having a small cake for myself and the couple friends who are in the same boat. For everyone else, cupcakes! Hundreds of cupcakes (local business…small startup…very cool).

  • Pileofstix

    Okay, I would like to submit this for your consideration:

    http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/hummingbird-cake-recipe.html

    It has a texture similar to carrot cake (dense and moist) and has the spiciness of carrot cake too. And it has pineapple AND cocount. It is AMAZING. My mom makes me one every year for my birthday. Just a thought!

    • http://www.lateralmovements.com/ Lauren Fitzpatrick

      HUMMINGBIRD CAKE. I was just looking at a recipe for this the other day and didn’t even make the connection that it has all of the wedding cake elements I was looking for. Added to the list of possibilities. I think our desserts will be a game-time decision in the days before the wedding once we’re actually on the island but I’ll be keeping my eye out for this one.

  • http://twitter.com/mollyepollard Molly Pollard

    We’re having a grocery store cake from Publix, Indian sweets and ice cream.

    I think people will be more than satisfied, and we’re going to save a bunch of money because wedding cakes are stupid expensive. I thought I wanted one but then I just could not justify the price.

    • Marcela

      Publix cakes FTW! Just be careful with how much cake you order, we listened to our Publix lady and ended up with whole trays of cake slices left over.

  • Crayfish Kate

    FH knows by now that we will have a fabulous wedding cake. This is a non-negotiable, this is the one thing I really feel strongly about. I’ve always pictured our cake topper as being a crayfish and an oyster, our respective study subjects, tho I’m not entirely sure that’ll go with the orchid flowers I’ve also wanted on the cake. Oh well :-)

  • Vic Horsham

    I always wondered how Americans deal with the change of cake styles for weddings when it came to the saving-the-top tradition! Over here in the UK, wedding cake is traditionally a dense fruitcake, black in colour and dense with molasses and is carefully fed with alcohol for weeks, sometimes months, before the wedding. By the time it’s decorated the alcohol content and the sugar from the molasses and dried fruit have basically made something that gets better with age, like cheese or wine. So keeping the top tier for either the first anniversary or the first child’s christening was fairly easy. You could never do that with a sponge cake, so I just assumed you guys didn’t have that tradition.

    That said, while fruitcake is still A Thing over here, the tradition of saving the top isn’t so much. A lot of couples now keep most of the cake as a traditional fruitcake, but have the top tier be a vanilla or chocolate sponge decorated to look like the rest, so children at the wedding can have a slice (although with our weird laws about alcohol and kids, not all families are averse to letting their kids ingest a tiny amount of booze in the form of a slice of cake!).

    Having a proper British fruitcake was a non-negotiable aspect of our wedding. Family tradition is that my nan makes and decorates ALL our big event cakes; she makes the most beautiful, porcelain-thin sugar-paste flowers, and lovely indulging in some of the more modern and quirky aspects of decorating. Can’t wait to see how she makes my woodland-flowers-and-bird-skulls theme work!

    • Caitlin_DD

      That sounds fabulous and delicious. I hope we’ll get to see that cake too!

  • http://thinkweirdthoughts.blogspot.com Phira

    YAY someone else who cares about cake just as much as I do <3

    • http://www.lateralmovements.com/ Lauren Fitzpatrick

      Heck yeah I do.

  • JSwen

    I am team cake because CHOCOLATE CAKE and CARROT CAKE.

    Also, am I the only one who gets a little misty-eyed with the symbolism that we are cutting a cake for each other but also sharing that same cake with all of our friends and family? I know you can get that with pies too, and cupcakes can all be from the same batch… ok I guess I’m just getting misty-eyed over here.

    Sharing + Dessert = Love
    (Oh, my Midwestern heart.)

  • aine

    Oh god, the top tier thing- for anyone thinking about it, think very very carefully, because it is a tradition that arose in a culture where wedding cake is a specific type of fruit cake, ie, it’s full of booze and stuffed with preserved gross so it can actually last a y year. Any kind of sponge style cake is much trickier to do that with!

  • Colline

    I am an utter dessert fiend. Instead of having floral centerpieces friends and family are contributing ‘their’ cakes (the one they always get asked to make) and my dad is making very simple cake stands. 15 of them. Non-baker friends have joined the chorus with offers of piles sour cream donuts, apple turnovers from that awesome café and oreos stacked artistically. There will be so.much.sugar. It has also turned out an amazing way to honour and include people and traditions in our day. We aren’t asking them to do something new – just the thing they already do awesomely. W get’s his mom’s fruitcake and donuts. I get everything!

  • Stefan Salvatore

    According to me both cake and pie have their own importance because of their taste and flavors. But i always give wedding cake over pie. Hawaii Marriage License