This time two years ago, I was approximately one month away from our wedding. I remember it being a whirlwind: thirty days filled with bachelorette shenanigans, crafts, to-do lists several miles long, and very excited friends congratulating me at every turn. Almost there! Not long now! You’re basically done!
But what I remember most keenly from that time was the pressure buildup. The final weeks were the point where I felt the most stressed, probably because it’s that point where plans begin to lock together, or fail miserably. We weren’t far along enough to throw our hands up and declare that whatever happened, happened and let wedding zen take over. In some cases, things were coming together perfectly: our venue gave us no last minute issues, people had booked cabins easily, and our caterers seemed prepared for any possible mishap—they’d given me answers to questions weeks before I thought to ask them.
In other cases… things had completely fallen apart. My musician friend had been signed to a record label (yay!), which left his schedule completely blocked (boo.), so we put all our trust into the DJ he recommended, no questions asked. I needed to call or hunt down almost half of our guest list for their RSVPs, which meant spending my lunch breaks eating a sandwich in my car so I could have a quiet place to make twenty phone calls in a row. And the crafts I had decided to make, still some of my favorite pieces from the wedding, were the type that I didn’t feel comfortable delegating.
In short, making tiny books for every table had completely taken over my free time, and I’m pretty sure each paper cut represented a tick mark in my slow descent into madness. It felt a bit like this, but it also felt intensely physical. All the running around and gathering (sometimes heavy) supplies, combined with all the emotional parts of wedding planning simply wore me out, but also left me primed to explode at any given moment.
When they could, my friends and family helped, but what I really needed in that moment was a vent—some kind of valve release for all the pressure. It’s unfortunate that the minute any negative comment about your wedding happens to come out of your mouth, everyone else feels the need to assign it some extra meaning. Negative comments about the planning? You’re being all crazy. Negative comments about your family? Well what did you do to make them act like that? Negative comments about your partner? Cold feet.
Today, I thought I’d give past-Lucy a little gift by giving you a place to vent. What aspect of your wedding is making you nuts right now? No judgment. What do you need to get off your chest in a safe place? We understand. And married folks, stick around! If you’re anything like me, you probably remember those moments when you could have used a good listener. Let’s help out our soon-to-be marrieds by lending an ear, telling them it’s totally normal to feel that way, they’re not alone, and it’s all going to be (more or less) okay in the end.