One of the most persistent (and disheartening) narratives about sex and marriage is that it’s, well, non-existent. There’s all this wink-wink-nudge-nudge about the wedding night and honeymoon… but also the elbow-to-the-ribs-eh-eh about how your sex life is over (and by your, they mean the groom, always). But how can it be over when it just started? You were just winking, and now you’re ribbing. It makes no sense.
Is there some truth to this narrative? The evidence is inconclusive. But to accept it as inevitable does everyone a disservice. Sex within a committed relationship can be amazing, and even better than pre-marital sex. Whether it’s because you finally got to ditch the birth control that made you feel crazy, because you’re older, wiser, or more confident in your own skin, or because—most likely—you’re committed to making each other feel good (and so that’s what you do)… post-martial sex can be awesome. Why are so many people acting like it’s not?
Fun fact: one APW contributor who built her early career on her reputation as, um, a single girl about town actually sought out a serious relationship because the single girl sex stopped being so great. She wasn’t getting hers and felt like there wasn’t anything she could do about it with, you know, Ricardo from Australia, so she figured it was in her best interest to find someone to sex more regularly. Isn’t that the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard? Okay, maybe not, but it does throw a twist on the old trope.
Today’s open thread is about sex… and about keeping things hot. And if you’re finding it difficult to do that, let’s talk that out too. Where have you gotten more adventurous? What do you miss about pre-marital (and maybe even pre-relationship) sex? What’s your sexiest married sex story? Are you having a dry spell in the bedroom right now? Yeah, that happens. Let’s discuss. It’s your open thread so let’s get it on.
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