Pitcher Cocktails: The Muddle-Free Mint Julep

Ah, the mint julep. The quintessential drink of the South. The drink of the Kentucky Derby! But more importantly, mint juleps are what you drink when it’s over a hundred degrees outside, the humidity is at one hundred percent, and all you want to do is lay on a hardwood floor under a fan on its highest setting. Which, here in Georgia, is the entirety of July and August. Oy.

The real key to a mint julep is to not use a lot of sugar. Mint has a sweetness to it, so you should always, always have a higher ratio of bourbon and soda water to simple syrup. Otherwise, you’re going to be drinking what essentially tastes like gum, or cotton candy. Not very appetizing.

Sparing poor wedding bartenders’ arms from the toil of muddling heaps of mint during your reception (and let’s be honest, sparing your guests a long line at the bar) is probably the main reason mint juleps, and other muddled cocktails, get thrown out of the usual list of wedding cocktail ideas. But mint juleps are delicious, and possibly your wedding is going to be on a very hot day. So we’ve come up with a mint julep that skips the muddling, in favor of a mint simple syrup. A mint simple syrup that is probably equally delicious in other drink recipes you can try—I’m looking at you, mojitos. (And, funny enough, crazy good in iced tea, for the non-drinkers at your wedding.)

We’ve already written about how to prepare cocktails in big batches in advance, so review that if you need to. Done? Excellent. All cocktail recipes are essentially ratios, and just like with our previous drinks, we’ll give you the recipe for one cocktail (which one should always have, in case of I-need-this-tonight emergencies) and then the basic ratio for scaling up.

To Make Mint Simple Syrup

Bring a 1:1 ratio of sugar and water to a boil. Simmer for ten minutes, dissolving the sugar, then remove from the heat. For every cup of water, add one bunch of mint. Steep for twenty minutes, strain, and refrigerate.

MINT JULEP Recipe

2 oz bourbon
1 oz mint simple syrup
2 oz soda water

MINT JULEP Ratio

2 parts bourbon, 1 part mint simple syrup, 2 parts soda water

For 100 Cocktails you need

200 oz bourbon
100 oz mint simple syrup
200 oz soda water

You may need to do some math at the store when you are buying your booze. Some spirits are sold in ounces, others in liters, others in quarts, pints, or gallons. We highly encourage using this smartphone app or this one, or this website for your conversions.

Now, put on your big hat and grab a drink. It’s time to get hitched, y’all!

Ask Team Practical: Should I Invite Mom?

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Q:My fiancé, J, and I have been struggling lately. We’ve been dodging this because of all the feelings it brings up, but in light of our wedding next year, we have to address it. My mother disregards our relationship’s validity. As a woman who has (slowly) been addressing past abuse by my mom, along with getting over constantly seeking her approval, it gets confusing for the both of us to discuss how much she sees our relationship as pointless and idiotic. My childhood with her was destructive to my self-esteem and outlook on life, and I’m just now trying to pick up the pieces.

J has shown, in innumerable ways, how much he loves and respects and cares for me and other members of my family, but she won’t have any of it. During this past Christmas, she drove us to the point of leaving my grandparent’s house and staying with his parents. I’ve tried the lunch talks, the long phone conversations, even therapy with her, and nothing sticks. Despite all of this, and despite the pain she’s put me and J through, I still have this desire for her to accept us and happily attend our wedding. Another part of me screams how unreasonable it is, and how it’ll never happen. I’m just not sure where to go from here, and whether or not I should leave her place on the seating chart blank. Am I irrational for still wanting her there?

Anonymous

A: Dear Anonymous,

Not irrational, no. Incredibly normal.

Typically, this is where I’d encourage you toward some introspection, thinking about what she could have against your relationship, weighing whether it might have any validity.

Skip that.

If your mother has demonstrated repeatedly through the years that she does not have your best interests as priority, her opinion is of little value. The rest of your family and friends—the ones who’ve shown that they care about you with love and honesty—look to them for a healthy view of your relationship. This means that as much as you’d love her consent and approval, you’ve got to harden yourself against the idea that her opinion has that much value. Seeking approval from someone who recklessly stomps all over your self-esteem doesn’t often land you in a healthy place.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t invite her to the wedding.

Know that inviting her won’t magically fix her skewed opinions, won’t repair any broken parts of your relationship. It just means your mom, with all of her drama, will be at your wedding. So, that’s the question I can’t answer for you. Is it better to have no mom and no drama at the wedding, or to have mom there with whatever trouble she assuredly brings with her?

Frankly, that might be the sort of decision you’re stuck making for a while. Unless Mom drastically changes her perspective (and I mean, she could, but let’s admit it’s not that likely), this is something you’ll be dealing with for a long time. At every holiday, every family gathering you’re going to have to decide: mom+drama or no mom? And then, you’re going to have to brace yourself for the fact that she might not even show.

It’s easy easy easy to think that if she comes to this wedding, it’ll be perfect and peachy and like so many glossy magazine wedding photos. In the same way, it can be easy to imagine that if you could just get her to accept your relationship, it would undo some of your terrible history together. Neither of those are all that likely. If you can come to terms with that idea that maybe mom and your relationship to her will always be this way, you’re going to be making steps toward being able to involve her in your wedding (and marriage and life) without setting yourself up for a world of hurt. And if you can’t come to terms with that, or can’t come to terms with that yet? That just makes you incredibly normal.

And, this may be a little obvious, but if you have a chance to practice self-care by getting yourself some therapy? Do it.

TEAM PRACTICAL, HOW DO you decide when to include loved ones and when to exclude them? How do you make sure to keep realistic expectations of your relations?

If you would like to ask Team Practical a question please don’t be shy! You can email Liz at: askteampractical [at] apracticalwedding [dot] com. If you would prefer to not be named, anonymous questions are also accepted. Though it really makes our day when you come up with a clever sign-off!