How We Planned a $20K, Old School Bay Area Wedding

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Kaisha, Marketing Consultant & Dylan, Theater Technician

One sentence sum-up of the wedding vibe: A casually elegant, quaint affair full of old school Bay Area charm!

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Planned Budget: $10,000

Actual Budget: Around $20,000

Number of Guests: 90-ish

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Where we allocated the most funds

Our photographer and ALL things related to catering. One thing Dylan and I immediately decided was that we wanted to have an unplugged wedding. We were determined to make our wedding the best party we have ever had, so to have our guests focusing more on taking and posting pics rather than enjoying the day is something we wanted to avoid. We therefore determined that we should invest in a great photographer who could beautifully capture as many details of the day as possible. And because I’m a ham but Dylan isn’t, we needed someone that he had to feel particularly comfortable with. Gabriel ended up being that photographer–once we chose him we never looked back, and the incredible pictures he took are proof that we made the best decision.

As for food, we take our eats and drinks VERY seriously. My mom was beyond generous enough to pay for our caterer and bakery of choice as well as the extremely necessary waitstaff. We chose a local Greek restaurant called Ikaros as our caterer, who wasn’t on the venue’s list of caterers, so we had to pay extra to use them. We figured there would be enough variety to serve the meat eaters and vegetarians, the food is fairly healthy, plus they’re just damn tasty. Our cake came from Carolyn Wong, with whom Dylan worked at a restaurant years ago. Every one of her samples tasted divine, she was sensitive to our cake budget, and to create our requested decoration was…wait for it…a piece of cake!

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Our venue was a single room and we’d planned to have a buffet, but waitstaff was paramount. NorCal Event Staffing helped me figure this piece out and everyone they had at our wedding was super professional and so much fun. Lastly, we knew we could not deny our friends an open bar so we booked Bay Area Bartenders who not only took great care of our guests, but set aside my new hubs’ chosen whiskey so he could partake anytime he wanted throughout the night.

Where we allocated the least funds

Things handed out to guests, because they are usually discarded or left behind. I made the programs, menus, and place cards at home, and we opted for no favors.

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What was totally worth it

Our wedding day coordinator Lori was SO worth it! She’s not even a professional wedding coordinator–she’s a Stage and Production Manager for local performances that Dylan worked with from time to time over the years. She made sure everything stayed on schedule and gave everyone their final payments, so we truly didn’t have to think about anything. A coordinator on the day, if you can afford it, is a worthwhile luxury. And if you can find someone like Lori who may not normally do weddings but has the production experience, you’ll easily save $1000+ compared to pro wedding coordinators.

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What was totally not worth it

Our engagement lasted only six months, so we weren’t working with a lot of time. I learned very quickly in the wedding planning process that spending days exploring a lot of options wasn’t worth it. I tried on maybe eight dresses during my single appointment and picked my favorite, then I never looked at dresses again. After deciding on the restaurant we didn’t look any further. Same with the venue, the florist—pretty much everything. I skipped bridal magazines, explored blogs like APW and Offbeat Bride maybe a few times for inspiration, and if both of us thought having some particular things didn’t matter then we decided not to bother with them. There’s almost a freedom to knowing you just don’t have enough time to hem and haw.

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A few things that helped us along the way

Our family and friends really came through for us. My mom, one of her friends, and a few of Dylan’s friends were at the venue that morning helping get things set up. My sister, who was my Maid of Honor, sat patiently with me all morning—including through two hours of hair and makeup—to be supportive and eventually help me into my dress. My bestie/Matron of Honor drove back and forth between the venue, the hotel, and her house dropping things off, helping set up, helping with getting me ready, then getting herself and her own family ready. One of my dear friends gifted me with my fascinator. Some of the guys met Dylan at a nearby bar Merchant’s Saloon before the ceremony to hang out with him… and probably calm him down. He even got a pep talk from a few of them before showtime. Writing this now, I realize that I didn’t have a care in the world that day because we were surrounded by nothing but love and support. We were beyond fortunate.

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My best practical advice for my planning-self

Planning a wedding will make you crazy if you let it. The key is this: don’t let it.

Don’t force yourself to adopt some tradition you care nothing about. Don’t take stock in others’ opinions if you’re happy with your decisions. Don’t follow trends if you don’t like them. Don’t invite people you don’t like, or who don’t bring positivity to the party. If your wedding costs $350 total, that’s money you earned and it’s too much to spend on things that don’t really matter to you.

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Favorite thing about the wedding

The exchanging of vows. Somehow that few minutes really did feel as though it was just the two of us in the world.

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How To Wear Red Lipstick on Your Wedding Day

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I was never a lipstick person. As a teenager learning about makeup, my only exposure to the stuff was when my mom would hand off unflattering (on her at least) shades of twenty-four-hour longwear lip product, which sucked the moisture out of everything it touched and left my perpetually chapped lips splotchy and uneven. Figuring that all lipsticks were probably the same, I devoted myself to a tube of Burt’s Bees and spent the next decade writing myself off as A Person Who Could Not Carry Lip Color. But then I started working for APW, where I occasionally get to hang out with super talented makeup artists, and I soon realized that I’d been missing out. Lipstick is amazing stuff (once you find the right kind, in the right shade. But that’s half the fun). Lipstick provides all the impact of wearing a lot of makeup, without actually having to put on a lot of makeup, which is great for the super femme #lazygirls in the house, like me. Plus it has the added power of making you feel like a badass in under a minute.

But this isn’t a PSA to convert you to wearing lipstick. On the contrary, if you don’t normally wear lipstick in your daily life, let alone red lipstick, your wedding is probably not the time to start. And why would you? You want to look like yourself. But if you do wear lipstick now and then (or want to get bolder with it) and are thinking that might apply to the wedding too, but need a little push in the right direction, then we’ve rounded up some of the Internet’s best tips and inspiration that will put you firmly in the “I got this” category. Because if Solange can do it, so you can you, right?

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1. Seeing Red

It took me a lot of sampling (and returning) products before I found the lipstick I liked the best (currently Maybelline Color Sensational Vivids in On Fire Red, available for around $8 at most pharmacies). But I was surprised to find that price didn’t always correlate to quality. After seeing it on a friend, I went out and bought a thirty-dollar Tarte lipstick at Sephora that was supposed to be super moisturizing, but that ended up all over my face when I tried to eat. (Maybe cheeseburgers were a bad idea, but still. I can’t put my life on hold for makeup.) If you don’t want to subject yourself to the hassle of trial and error, both Oh Happy Day and A Cup of Jo conducted lipstick challenges last year that remove any need for in-person testing. See the results of Jordan’s test of forty different lipsticks here (including her top twelve picks) and check out Joanna Goddard’s four-weeks of lipstick here, here, here, and here. The Beauty Department also has great tips for choosing a red that matches your skin tone.

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2. Make It Last All Night

I partly avoided lipstick for so long because it seemed like such high-maintenance makeup. Who wants to wear something that needs to be reapplied every few hours? But I’ve since learned a few tricks that not only help maximize lipstick’s longevity, but that also make it more partner-friendly (and don’t involve the gross twenty-four hour stuff of my childhood). Of course, if you’re worried about lipstick rubbing off on your partner during the ceremony, you can always go bare for the ceremony and add red lipstick for the reception. But if you’ve got your heart set on red lipstick all day and all night, try this technique from The Beauty Department:

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1. First apply a lip liner in the same shade as your lipstick all over your lips.

2. Blot with a tissue

3. Apply a translucent powder all over your lips

4. Repeat the process.

Layering in this way helps lipstick stay on longer (thanks to the lip liner) and prevents it from rubbing off (thanks to the powder.) If all of this sounds like way too much work than it’s worth, you can always forgo lipstick for lip stain, which has the staying power without the effort.

3. The Red Wedding

I think one of the misconceptions about wearing red lipstick at your wedding is that it’s going to look R-E-D. But not all reds are created equal and you won’t know how you look in lipstick until you try. But to give you an idea, I rounded up a smattering of smokin’ hot ladies rocking red lipstick at their weddings and making it look easy:

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1. Photo by Eyes and Hart via A Practical Wedding 2. Elissa R. Photography via A Practical Wedding 3. Randolph Quan via A Practical Wedding 4. Morgan Trinker via Green Wedding Shoes 5. Laura Hotz via Green Wedding Shoes 6. Next Exit Photography via Style Me Pretty 7. Christa Elyce Photography via Bridal Musings 8. Monica Roy via A Practical Wedding 9. Readyluck via Rock ‘N Roll Bride, makeup by Jennifer Tanko (This one’s a styled shoot, but it’s so damn pretty.) 10. Amanda Summerlin via A Practical Wedding 11. Lindsay Docherty Photography via Style Me Pretty 12. Tavistock Avenue Photography via Love My Dress 13. Zachary Hunt via A Practical Wedding 14. Phil Chester via 100 Layer Cake

Have a hair, makeup, or style related question for the apw staff? Leave it in the comments or email team (at) apracticalwedding (dot) com.