How Do You Get Grooms (or Non-Groom Partners) Involved in Planning?

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One of the most infuriating things about the wedding industry is that it assumes only women are interested in planning weddings. It’s infuriating because A) it takes two to make a marriage, B) not all women are into wedding planning, and C) some dudes are. But it’s also not as easy as that. Sometimes the wedding industry’s assumptions are so pervasive that they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Which is to say, Michael was never as into the wedding as I was. And I did do most of the planning. Raised with more traditional gender role expectations, he’d never been taught as a child to think about what his future wedding might look like, and he could care less about centerpieces or flowers or on a day-to-day basis. But there were a few things about the wedding which he valued deeply (the beer selection, the after party, buying his groomsmen really cool belts). And for those things, he was all in.

But I’ve noticed things changing in the past few years. While the overturning of DOMA obviously meant huge and incomparable changes in the lives of LGBTQ couples, I think the ongoing cultural conversations about marriage equality have also made for a heightened sense of awareness about the importance of weddings and marriage at large. When I was shooting weddings full time I noticed that as more states began to legalize marriage equality, not only was I getting hired by more queer couples (with a notable uptick in gay men who were hiring me), I was also getting hired by more straight couples with really actively involved grooms.

While I no longer am involved in as many weddings as I once was, I think I was starting to see the beginnings of a changing tide. One that I’m really excited about. Because for me, a huge part of feminism isn’t just making room for women in spaces traditionally dominated by men. It’s also about creating an increased value in the spaces traditionally dominated by women.

But all of this takes work. And compromise. And sometimes a whole lot of conversation. (“I get that you don’t care very much about how the flowers get to the venue, but they have to get to the venue and I’m not the wedding butler so HELP ALREADY.”)

So now I’m curious. What’s your experience been so far? Is your partner (male or female) involved in wedding planning? Are you working to equalize your roles in planning? What are your struggles (and wins)?

 

Samantha Gore Photography: Artistic and Affordable NYC Wedding Photography

When you start your photography career in weddings, it’s hard not to let the wedding industry get inside your head. Have you ever wondered why so much of wedding photography… kind of looks the same, with the same editing style and poses? Exactly. So today I’m super excited to introduce you to APW’s newest sponsor, Samantha Gore Photography in Brooklyn. Because not only is she a classically trained photographer with a BA in fine art photography, but her wedding prices start at just $2,860 in the New York metro area. (Which, just. Yeah.)

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There’s something different about wedding photographers who get their start outside of weddings. Samantha Gore’s style looks nothing like nothing like the film-esque style that most fine art wedding photographers currently employ, and yet, you can totally see her training in her images. There’s a mix of photojournalism, fine art, and film-appreciation, all mixed with a bit of rock ‘n roll edge.

Samantha says:

What I bring to my wedding work is very different than if I had learned through photographing weddings. I had the opportunity to develop a personal vision and voice before ever looking at wedding blogs and wedding photography, so my vision (which continues to evolve) did not grow out of a need to fit a mold of any kind. I’ve really been able to grow as a photographer through my work with couples, both from engagement portrait sessions and weddings. I think APW couples are looking to hire professionals who will bring a unique vision to their work, so I strive for an authentic voice and vision when creating wedding imagery.

And since Samantha Gore cut her teeth in the classroom, it’s just part of her normal workflow to be constantly improving her skills and technique. Which means that however good her images are now, just double that by the time your wedding actually rolls around. Samantha explained:

Each wedding is a new world to explore. I love portraiture and cinema and I am able to bring what inspires me from both of these into my wedding work. I continue to study photography and take classes at ICP. I also meet regularly with a photographic critique group, we share work with each other and give feedback and this has helped me immensely to keep focused on evolving my practice and staying true to my creative goals. I see my work as a wedding photographer as one important part of my greater creative endeavors.

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Pricing for Samantha Gore Photography begins at $2,860 (which is kind of unreal in New York weddings). Samantha’s base package includes:

  • Six hours of coverage
  • A second shooter
  • At least 250 retouched hi-res images
  • A password protected gallery that lets you view and download images at your leisure

And her highest package ($4,100) includes:

  • Ten hours of coverage
  • A second shooter
  • An engagement session
  • At least 450 retouched hi-res images
  • A password protected gallery that lets you view and download images at your leisure
  • A $200 credit towards a wedding album (which start at just $650 for fifty pages in a handmade archival album)

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You know our stance on printed photos (it doesn’t matter how you print them, even if it’s just Walmart, but for God’s sake print some out because hard drives crash and files corrupt, y’all). But if you want something extra special, prints ordered through Samantha are now coming on gorgeous Hahnemuhle paper (which is so out of my league, I had to look it up), and she even offers the option for prints to come framed and matted in beautiful handmade wooden frames. Plus, as an added bonus, Samantha has set it up so that you can even add services, prints, frames, and albums to your wedding registry through Gively. Framed photo from your aunt? Yes please.

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Planning a wedding in New York is hard. There are simultaneously too many and not enough options, and trying to separate the wheat from the chaff can seem like an endless endeavor. But when you find someone like Samantha Gore Photography, who has the training and talent to charge twice as much as she does, but who you can hire for less than $3,000? That you don’t even think twice about. Just go make bread.

Complete wedding coverage with Samantha Gore Photography begins at $2,860. Click here to get in touch with Samantha today!