Introducing: Always a Bridesmaid with Amy March


Get your lighters out

by Stephanie Kaloi, Content Manager

woman at a wedding

At a certain point in life, you will realize that everyone you know is getting married. And if you’re willing to listen to them talk about their weddings, all of a sudden you’ll feel like a full time (unpaid!) wedding consultant. You’ll be patient with them, because you love them, and because you really do love weddings. But internally a small voice will be screaming, “Get a grip! You are a grown-up woman, and you are strong enough to manage the stress of garden roses instead of tea roses!” Brides plan one wedding. Bridesmaids? Your opportunities to plan weddings are (sadly) limitless.

But remember, to everything there is a season. A season for gentle nudges about how perhaps it might be nice to let your mother select her own dress instead of wearing the blush monstrosity you have selected. A season to burn it to the ground because no, we are not all available at 5 a.m. on your wedding day because dawn pictures are so very special. And a season for a steaming cup of tea and sympathy, because when your best friend can’t make your wedding that’s just going to be hard.

If you find yourself in the “burn it down” group more often than not, do I have a treat for you: this week we’re launching a brand new APW series called Always a Bridesmaid with Amy March. Regular APW readers will probably recognize Amy from our comments section, and anyone who is just now meeting Amy for the first time… well, you are in for a ride.

But wait, you might be thinking, “Doesn’t APW already have an advice column?” Yes, we do, and AAPW isn’t going anywhere. Liz has both the patience of a saint and the ability to give cool, measured, tough love replies to some important, varied, and sometimes outright wild questions women have while planning their weddings. Amy, on the other hand, does not have the patience of a saint, and has not yet been a bride. 

So what is Always a Bridesmaid? It’s where you send your questions about other people’s weddings. How do you tell your best friend’s cousin that you are pretty sure the bride will hate the bachelorette party she planned without anyone’s input? How do you respond when your neighbor complains, for the fourteenth time, about the burdens of choice created by an unlimited budget? Did you really ruin your friend’s wedding by hooking up with a groomsman? It’s where you send in the questions that you know, deep down inside, aren’t life or death, and that you suspect have a solution you aren’t seeing. It’s for when you need help saying, “NO,” “Absolutely not,” or “I do not have a vocabulary sufficient to the task of rejecting this idea.” Or when you need to give your friend getting married the strength and vocabulary to say, “Not on my watch.”

Always a Bridesmaid will run bi-monthly and Amy March*, will be delighted to read your questions at amymarch (at) apracticalwedding (dot) com.

*Not her real name. Obviously.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYWHERE YOU TURN, MORE PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED? LIKE ATTENDING WEDDINGS HAS SOMEHOW BECOME YOUR HOBBY? IS “EXPENSIVE CRAP FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S WEDDINGS” A BIGGER BUDGET CATEGORY THAN “MANICURES, BOOKS, AND CHEESE”? EMAIL: AMYMARCH (AT) APRACTICALWEDDING (DOT) COM.

Stephanie Kaloi

Stephanie is a photographer, writer, and Ravenclaw living in California with her husband, their seven year old metalhead son, and a crew of beasts. She is super into reading, road trips, and adopting animals on a whim. Forewarning: all correspondence will probably include a lot of punctuation and smiley faces.

Staff Picks

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  • GotMarried!

    I Am So Excited!!!!

  • Violet

    I am so excited I am so excited I am so excited!

  • AP

    This is gonna be so fun:)

  • Jessica
  • Olive

    Yesssssss Amy March slays! Looking forward to this! Congrats, Amy March!

  • NolaJael

    I’m in. So much of wedding stuff is carefully balancing generational, cultural, gender, familial and other expectations with civility and aplomb. But sometimes things are just shitty. And it would be shitty if it happened at a girls night out at the club or on the dance floor at the Hilton at your BFF’s wedding. And somebody needs to say so. Getting engaged is *not* an 18-month long “get out of jail free” card.

    • “Getting engaged is *not* an 18-month long “get out of jail free” card.”

      Oh gawd, TRUTH.

  • PAJane aka Awesome Tits

    I am DELIGHTED!

  • Cellistec

    YAAAAAASSSSS

  • Laura C

    Love it!

  • lamarsh

    YAYYYYYYYY!

  • Jess

    This is, hands down, the best news I have received all day.

    Also, I need to create a category in my budget for manicures, books, and cheese now. It will get not-insignificant funding.

  • Sara

    First of all, a budget category of ‘Manicures, Books and Cheese’ is a fantastic idea.

    More importantly, I love Amy March in the comments, can’t wait to see her tough love advice! I tend to nod to her comments saying ‘totally’ or ‘YES’

  • G.

    Excellent news!

  • Mrrpaderp

    Hooray!!!!!!! When is the first installment? Amy March is amazing, this is such exciting news!

  • idkmybffjill

    1) Is that photo OF Amy March. Because I really picture her as a babe and it seems on point.
    2) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs

    • Amy March

      Not my photo at all but omg thank you so much!

      I’m really excited!

    • SLG

      HA! So true.

      Also Amy March is THE BOMB. Can’t wait for this.

  • Leah

    Yay! I don’t always agree with Amy March (I most often do! Because she’s so often Right!). I ALWAYS enjoy reading what she has to say, though (and not just because I first married in my 40s, and so saw some bridesmaiding before my own wedding).

    • Kate

      Amen. There’s been a couple times where I wonder if Amy March can feel the heat of my side eye across state lines, but mostly she’s a refreshing sassy breeze.

    • Rebekah

      I actually usually disagree with her, but still am really looking forward to this column.

      • Leah

        Perfect! If I were more like Amy March I might have written something more like your and Kate’s comments — which is one of the reasons I appreciate her forthright nature. Being able to disagree and still wanting to engage is a difficult line to walk!

      • Totch

        I think this is what makes me excited. I often disagree with her take, but never tire of her opinion. That feels more rare than advice columns I agree with!

        • cml

          Exactly. I don’t always agree, but I always look for her comments!

  • Totch

    Congrats and thanks in advance, Amy March!

  • cml

    I’m so pumped for this. I love advice columns anyway, but to have two on my fave site, and to have one of them written by Amy March…I’m so there.
    And I’m cracking up at the intro. Ready to burn it down. ;)

  • JC
  • sofar
  • emilyofnewmoon

    HERE. FOR. THIS.

  • Her Lindsayship

    This is amazing!! I so look forward to these posts. Get it Amy March!

  • Dess

    YES. Oh how I love this news!!

  • Yay Amy March! Cant wait to read!

  • Katherine

    YES. I always love how real Amy March is. This will be a delight.

  • Leah

    Yessssss!

  • Sosuli

    I get the feeling someone is going to be inundated with e-mails right about….now. (And I may be sending more than one of them myself) Looking forward to reading!

  • emmers

    Real Talk with Amy March! So excited!

  • AGCourtney

    Awesome! Congrats, Amy. I look forward to reading these.

  • Bsquillo

    Best. Possible. News.

  • Yeeeeeeessssssssss! BRB, stocking up on popcorn

  • nosio

    This is going to be so good!

  • E.

    SO EXCITED

  • Staria

    Can already tell this is going to be one of the most awesome things about 2017! Excellent decision APW :) Yes! Amy March you are awesome and I always love your straight talking! mwah!

  • RNLindsay

    This is so exciting!! Congrats @amymarch:disqus!!

  • Well just the title and subtitle of this post made me laugh with glee.

    I’m looking forward to this!

  • RMC

    yes yes yes! I have been waiting for this for years.

  • Cpt. Obvious

    Soooo anyone else think that Amy March COULD totally be her real name? Oops.

  • Nell

    Yaaaaay!

  • Nic.

    OH YEAH ! :-)

  • emilyg25

    Yayyyyy! This is perfection.

  • Lawyerette510

    Fuck yes Amy March!!!!!