Kat, HR Associate & Charlie, Account Analyst
One sentence sum-up of the wedding vibe: A seriously easy-going day filled with love all around us.
Planned Budget: $5,000
Actual Budget: $5,000-ish
Number of Guests: 23
Where we allocated the most funds
The majority of our funds were spent on the hotel. We needed a central location for everyone to meet before the ceremony. Lincoln Park is huge and it needed to be easy for all twenty-three of our guests to meet at one common place before going to the ceremony site. We picked a great boutique hotel right across from Lincoln Park. It was easy to find and offered valet parking for guests. We also stayed for three nights, which is what made it the biggest item in our budget.
The next biggest expense was dinner. The rest of the budget was spent on little things: attire, photography, flowers, rings, etc.
Where We Allocated The Least Funds
The ceremony is where we spent the least amount of funds.
We had a rogue, guerrilla, pop-up, whatever you want to call it, wedding ceremony. It cost ZERO dollars. We wanted to just show up to the park and get married. And we wanted to have it at 4p.m. on a Saturday. It needed to be as simple as possible for both us and our guests.
We did not send out invitations. We sent our guests an email a month before the ceremony including as many details as possible. We let everyone know we were going to be outside, there would not be any seating, where to find parking, where we were having dinner, etc. We wanted to give our guests as much information as possible and then let them decide how much or how little they would like to participate. If they wanted to come to dinner Friday night, cool. If they wanted to go out with us after the reception, cool. Our guests had all of the information needed to plan their weekend and we no longer had to worry about it.
My maid of honor and I picked a sort of secluded area that morning and she lead everyone out there for the ceremony. There was no rehearsal the night before, so our Pastor was in charge of putting guests in a sort of circle and lining up our bridal party. My dad and I waited back a bit so he could still walk me down the “aisle”. We did not set up any decorations of any kind. And I don’t think they were missed. I never got the feeling from our guests that our ceremony would have been so much better with more flowers and a nice chair.
What was totally worth it
Doing EXACTLY what we wanted. Our wedding planning journey was not easy. We changed our minds several times, even had a backyard wedding planned for 125 guests, vendors and all. An unexpected surgery in January seriously cut into our budget. After hours and hours of debate and worry, we rescinded our save-the-dates (gosh, I hate those things) and opted for a private ceremony.
We knew our extended family would be upset. But in the end, we realized the big wedding didn’t feel right and it didn’t feel like us. We wanted it to be intimate and we wanted our closest few to witness.
What was totally not worth it
Researching for hours and hours on how to cancel our original wedding plans. You can find articles online saying that it is okay to change your wedding plans, but not many that explain how they did it. And if you find yourself desperate enough to read WIC blogs, you will end up feeling pretty terrible about yourself for thinking you can actually cancel your plans. I spent weeks combing the Internet trying to figure out exactly what to say without hurting feelings or confusing people.
It turns out it didn’t really matter what I said or how I said it. People were going to feel a certain way about our decision either way. They were going to be upset. They were going to be confused. They were going to think you are pregnant (No, seriously. They asked). No amount of explanation or justification was going to change it or make it better.
At the time, it really sucked. But it helped us form a family unit. We made this decision together and we were standing behind it. No justification needed.
A few things that helped us along the way
APW, for the win. Our inspiration was all of the amazingly beautiful couples on APW having the wedding they wanted with no apologies. If they could do it, so could we.
My best practical advice for my planning self
STOP worrying about everyone. As a person, I LOVE to help and to make things easier for everyone. I would start to worry about how guests were getting to the ceremony or if they were going to be cold or if everyone was going to find parking or if they thought our idea was crazy. I wanted to accommodate everyone. I had to remind myself that my guests are adults who know how to take care of themselves. They are totally capable of making decisions about what works best for them.
Favorite thing about the wedding
Our first look. The sunshine that peaked out of the clouds as we said our vows. Readings from my wonderful grandparents. My “I Love you” bracelet in my late mother’s handwriting.
Anything else you’d like to add
You won’t find many how-to guides for a guerrilla wedding. But I think that is the beauty behind the concept. The possibilities are endless. You just need a teensy bit of courage. But you get to do exactly what you want, no restrictions. You don’t have compromise for anything or anyone! We still had all of the elements that were important to us: my dad walking me down the aisle, readings from my grandparents, and a blessing stone ceremony.
Our wedding was not perfect by any means. My veil kept flying off (damn Chicago wind). I was holding my bouquet in the wrong hand. A child screamed during our vows. But it was perfect. Perfect for us. And our end result was the same as every wedding: we made our lifelong commitment and celebrated all night long!
